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Internet Explorer Not Dead Yet
turnitover writes "The future's not all Firefox, Deer Park and Camino, insists Microsoft. At its Mix '06 conference in Las Vegas, reports Microsoft Watch, company execs insisted that there's a bright future for IE. They not only distributed a 'layout-complete' build of IE 7.0, but offered hints about what the new version of the browser geeks love to disdain (yes, it will include ActiveX) will include. Also shown: tools to test IE compatibility. But with what? Standards or IE 6?"
I can't explain where standards are, but Bueller took the day off.
Proof by very large bribes. QED.
Translation: We're working on ways of tying this thing even further into our operating system than before.
This guy's the limit!
I can't WAIT to watch the objective analysis that this thread will surely contain.
"Its a trick. Get an axe."
If Jesus wants me it knows where to find me.
But it's certainly beginning to smell like it is!
I'm sure FreeBSD is saying the same thing...
The decision was cheered as "guaranteed work for the next decade" by computer security experts worldwide.
My sig is too lon
.. Or is it pinin' for the fjords? /obvious
...has Netcraft confirmed this?
An Indian-American Hindu committed to non-violent thought/speech/action alarmed by the global explosion of radical Islam
Neglecting Firefox's inability to pass Acid 2.0. this might be better for you.
Also shown: tools to test IE compatibility. But with what? Standards or IE 6?
Most probably neither, if we're to judge by history...
I have a really elegant proof for Fermat's last theorem. If this sig was only a bit longer...
When Firefox can pass the Acid 2.0 Test, come back to me.
Sincerely,
Opera 9tp Fan
(disclaimer, not bashing FF, just found the previous comment to be an offer too tempting to turn down)
1 (short ton / firkin) = 89.1432354 slugs / keg
IE: I'm not dead yet Firefox: Well you will be soon enough IE: I feel happy, I feel.... *WHACK* Firefox: Thank you very much, see you thursday
[Insert Witty Sig Here]
Does it run on Linux?
*ducks*
Dont' worry, it'll be stone dead in a minute. /source/vista/ie7/*
$ rm -rf
But seriously...
User: I wish to make a complaint!
Ballmer: (hurriedly) Sorry, we're about to ship Vista.
User: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this web browser, what came bundled not five years ago from this very operating system.
Ballmer: Oh yes, IE, ah, version 6. What's, ah... W-what's wrong with it?
User: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it.
Ballmer: No, no, It's ah... it's undergoing a security upgrade.
User: Look, matey, I know a dead browser when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Ballmer: No no, i-it's not dead, it's... getting its user interface upgraded!
User: User interface?
Ballmer: Y-yeah, the UI. Upgradin'. Remarkable browser, IE, isn't it, eh? Beautiful layouts!
User: The layout-complete build don't enter into it. It's stone dead!
Ballmer: Nononono, no, no! 'E's bein' upgraded!
User: All right then, if he's bein' upgraded, I'll run 'im!
(starts typing)
IEXPLORE.EXE! C:\MYDOCU~1\HELLO.JPG
Looky looky looky! Happily rendering the Goatse Guy! Hey, IE, I've got lots of lovely RAM for you if you're running, Mr. Internet Explorer!)
(pounds keyboard)
Ballmer: There, the page refreshed!
User: No, he didn't, that was you clicking reload!
Ballmer: I never!!
User: Yes, you did!
Ballmer: I never, never....
(pounding Ctrl-Alt-Del on the keyboard again)
User: HELLO, WORLD! HELLO TASK MANAGER! PLEASE WAKE UP!
Now that's what I call a dead browser.
Ballmer: No, no.... No, it's just running a signed ActiveX Control in the background.
User: A ACTIVEX CONTROL!?!?
Ballmer: Yeah! You invoked an ActiveX control, just as it was wakin' up! Believe me, IE runs those easily, major!
User: Look my lad, I've had just about enough of this. That browser is definitely deceased, and when I booted its PC up after buyin' it not half an hour ago, you assured me that the PC's total lack of computational power was due to it being tired and shagged out after a prolonged virus scan.
Ballmer: Well, he's... it's, ah... probably needin' activation and authorization with Windows Genuine Advantage.
User: WINDOWS Genuine ADVANTAGE?!? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did the OS crash flat on its back the moment I plugged it into the router?
Ballmer: The Norwegian Bluescreen prefers kippin' on its back! Remarkable UI, though, isn't it, guv, eh? Lovely layout-complete screenshots!
User: (coldly) Look, I took the liberty of examining that browser cache when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that the PC had anything to run on its hard drive in the first place was that it had been bundled in there along with the spyware and the DRM.
Ballmer: Well, of course it has DRM there! If I hadn't bundled that browser and nailed everything down with DRM, all the content would have nuzzled up to those wires at the back, bent 'em apart with its little bits, and VOOM!
User: "VOOM?" Look matey, this browser wouldn't "voom" if you put four thousand kilobytes of W3C standards through it! It's bleedin' demised!
Ballmer: It's not! I-It's just authenticating!
User: It's not authenticatin,' it's passed on! This browser is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late software release! It's a stiff! Bereft of RAM, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to the system with DRM and your monopoly it'd be pushing up the daisies! Its spawned processes are of interest only to historians! It's hopped the twig! It's shuffled off this mortal coil! It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This.... is an INACTIVE X!
Ballmer: Well, I'd better upgrade it, then.
(I'll stop it now. It's silly.)
Right, its Opera.
ducks
Chances are any disscution on Slashdot will degrade into a flamewar about ID/Christianity within 14 posts.
i thought /. was completely non biased and objective
You must be new here, welcome.
"FYI, IE7 also has tabs and a little search box."
Isn't that just lipstick on a pig?
The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer. - Edward R. Murrow
*coughoperacough*. Us Opera fanboys get no love I tells ya! No love!
I heard he was dying!
General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
he better not die, he said he was going to get me out of summer school!
Collector's Edition
"What's important is that IE 7 is WAY more standards compliant than the previous version..."
Dude, they couldn't be any less standards compliant than previous versions. They had nowhere to go but up.
Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master.
Then let's get the mob together, light some torches, march up to the castle, and pound a stake through its fucking heart. That should do it.
Some mornings it's hardly worth chewing through the restraints to get out of bed.
Uh, for a computer program to pass any QA test it needs to produce output *exactly* as expected. This isn't some University exam, it's a collection of 1's and 0's. Either it renders the page as it's supposed to (in this case handling invalid input correctly) or it doesn't.
Or, put another way by means of a Simpson's quote:
"Come on, do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry"?
"Nine times out of ten, starting a fire is not the best way to solve the problem." - my wife
- A shiny new "7" where the 6 used to be. - Built in DRM so you can't play any media at all that Bill Gates hasn't stamped with his penis-device. - Shuts down your P.C. at random intervals, just to catch those sneaky hackers out. - Revolutionary new browsing experience through the use of "MS Tabs", a wholely revolutionary system of revolution. - Comes with Firefox uninstaller.
EpiAdv - if you like Pokey the Penguin, try this comic!
Just a minute... Let me go get my other gun.
Free Software: Like love, it grows best when given away.
That would take several rounds each of silver bullets, wooden stakes, holy water vials, and several pounds of garlic. Not to mention black candles, a goat sacrifice, and a prayer to Cthulhu not to send IE back from the void after we dispatched it.
Only on Slashdot will you hear it implied that a product with 65% marketshare might be "dead."