Slashdot Mirror


Forbes Says Vista Not People Ready

Diomedes01 writes "Daniel Lyons has an opinion piece up on Forbes.com about a recent press conference held by Microsoft, and the results are anything but flattering."

29 of 362 comments (clear)

  1. My Clinically Inept Siblings by eldavojohn · · Score: 5, Interesting
    Surprise surprise, people are predicting that Microsoft's Vista may not be 'people ready.'

    Let's take my three sisters. Each has a degree in biology. Each considers me their personal tech support when anything "breaks." It sucks.

    I've gotten phone calls from them about the behavior of Windows XP on multiple occasions. Once they thought all their windows kept closing if they opened too many. As it turns out, they had the "grouping" feature enabled for windows of the same type on the toolbar.

    *sigh*

    Now Vista will have a new 3D effect to window grouping. Sweet Jesus, I am turning my cell phone off. I can imagine it now, "All my windows are turning sideways! Make it stop!"

    Aside from "Ease of Use," I don't think any of the advertised features are going to meld well with any of my sisters. The new 'Aero' technology is no match for my sisters' Airhead logic.

    I plan to make up some story for them about how Vista is the devil and if you install it, it will slowly begin to ruin your computer. Oh, and if you try to save your biology notes, it especially hates the medical sciences so it will delete them instantly. Not to mention that its new 'AI' abilities allow it to call you names if it perceives you to be an unqualified user. That should stop them from buying it.
    The worst part is that Microsoft can smell this potential market in young people who don't know what they need:
    Microsoft execs also talked about "Impacting People," then they dragged out fashion designer Tommy Hilfiger, who seemed very "impacted" as he sang praise for Microsoft programs. Actually, he was reading meaningless statements from a TelePrompTer. Here is one of his quotes, verbatim: "When you combine people and technology, you have a very powerful combination."
    That's exactly the kind of publicity stunt that would cause all three of my sisters to run out and buy Vista. *shudders* He's an fucking fashion designer! What the fuck would he know about computer software?!?!

    And what is with this part of the article:
    Why not at least switch to an Apple Computer (nasdaq: AAPL) Mac? Apple's new operating system is stable, reliable and easy to use. The applications are simple, gorgeous and work well together. And they're here. Today. Steve Jobs must be waking up a happy man this morning.
    This article brought to you by Forbes Magazine's Daniel Lyons, owner of stock in AAPL.

    Thanks, Dan, I was with you there until that last paragraph where your Apple sales pitch kicked in.
    --
    My work here is dung.
    1. Re:My Clinically Inept Siblings by gowen · · Score: 5, Insightful
      He's an fucking fashion designer! What the fuck would he know about computer software?!?!
      He knows that if you suck up to its manufacturer, and let them use you as their publicity bitch, you'll get a serious discount.
      --
      Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
    2. Re:My Clinically Inept Siblings by eldavojohn · · Score: 4, Funny
      Yeah, but when you have questions about reproductive activities, you've got instant tech support...
      They're my sisters. I don't talk about reproductive activities with my sisters.

      Wait a minute, are you from West Virginia?
      --
      My work here is dung.
    3. Re:My Clinically Inept Siblings by buro9 · · Score: 4, Interesting

      I am actually doing very much the same... abandoning support for MS crapware to all family members and friends.

      The reason will be simple: I don't use Vista, and I have no idea how to solve whatever problem you're experiencing.

      You see, I'm moving to Ubuntu or Mepis (I still have a whole year or two to make my mind up! Maybe something new will come along) once Windows XP looks like it's drawing close to it's death.

      I look at Ubuntu bi-monthly now, and I like what I see. Is it yet at the point where I want to make it my primary system? Nope... I'm day to day Windows still. But each time I look, more of those nagging doubts have evaporated, more of those features and usability tweaks I want have appeared.

      By the time I have to face the question of what my next operating system will be, it will no longer be a single answer (whatever the next M$ system is), it will be a choice between a Linux (Ubuntu or Mepis are most likely), and Vista. And given the way that those answers are evolving (hey, Linux need do nothing so long as DRM crapware infests Vista!)... it looks like Linux is going to win hands down.

      And in switching... I get to abandon all technical support to anyone on Windows, and let them know that if they want to use Linux, I'll happily help them with whatever problems they have, as I will be in a place to be able to help them.

    4. Re:My Clinically Inept Siblings by 'nother+poster · · Score: 4, Insightful

      He doesn't need discounts on sewing machines. The companies that he contracts with to produce a half a mil of his latest fashion obscenity needs the discount on sewing machines. Tommy needs discounts on computers and software because his company neeeds to integrate with and coordinate with all of those other companies in their supply chain. Tommy needs to be able to send the numbers to his accountants firms. Tommy needs computers to work with his ad agency so he can convince even more sheeple to buy his stuff. I'm betting that, just like every other "idea" company in the U.S., Tommy has multiple hundreds of thousands tied up in hardware and licenses for software.

    5. Re:My Clinically Inept Siblings by Elvis+Parsley · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Sure, he's a fashion designer, but his business has the same IT needs as every other business. They do sales and marketing, buy from suppliers, sell to distributors and retailers, hire and pay employees and provide them with benefits, coordinate and pay for travel, and so on. In the modern business climate, he still needs computers for all of that, even if the activity underlying it all involves ultimately swaning about with charchoal sketches and fabric swatches.

    6. Re:My Clinically Inept Siblings by bonius_rex · · Score: 5, Informative
      I doubt that he uses CAD software to design the next T-shirt.

      I sysadmin for a company that does some fashion design. We do indeed use a specialized CAD type program for this. It's output is bascally a blueprint of the garment to give to the manufacturers.

      This software is hella expensive.

  2. Not Ready? Say it ain't so! by AKAImBatman · · Score: 4, Funny

    Vista not People Ready

    But, but, but... "When you combine people and technology, you have a very powerful combination." Fashion designer (and part time Microsoft shill) Tommy Hilfiger said so! So it MUST be true! Vista is the future! Viva la Vista!

    Seriously, though. A voice command from your cellphone to check email? What are these guys smoking?

    1. Re:Not Ready? Say it ain't so! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      "When you combine people and technology, you have a very powerful combination."

      As SciFi has clearly pointed out, this is not a good idea...

    2. Re:Not Ready? Say it ain't so! by blackbeaktux · · Score: 4, Funny

      You mean i can seamlessly receive an urgent request for a business relationship from a top Nigerian official just by saying "Clippy, fetch my email?" Say no more, my friend.

      I'm sure this is the feature i need to push me over the edge to upgrade my O'97. /sarcasm.

  3. Rejection by kc0re · · Score: 5, Insightful

    People reject OpenOffice and reject even Mac, because they don't know any different. They have been "programmed" to use Microsoft Windows, therefore, until they are told different, they will continue to use Microsoft Windows.

    We can sit around all we want and say stuff like "when people get tired of (malware|viruses|spyware|whateverelse)" they will switch to (Linux|Mac).

    It's just not true. People will switch when they are told to. Nothing else. Until Companies FORCE people to switch, there will be no switching.

    1. Re:Rejection by Cyphertube · · Score: 4, Informative

      Of course, if things are half as complex as this article makes it sound, well, I think there will be the issue of training budgets for companies.

      If the new Office/Vista interfaces are too different from the current Windows setup, the training budget will be cheaper to go to a Linux desktop (GNOME or KDE) and use OpenOffice.org. Never mind the license fees to upgrade being saved.

      This has become typical of Microsoft. While SQL has gotten better, and they're getting better with Visual Studio and the new version of IE, so many other things are broken. I can't speak for BizTalk 2006, but 2004 has struck me as a huge waste of cash.

      I've been trying to justify using MS products for quite some time (aside from the fact that .NET programmers are cheap). If the user interface is more complex for most of our users, then there will be little to no reason to stick with it.

      --
      Linux - because it doesn't leave that Steve Ballmer aftertaste.
    2. Re:Rejection by tomstdenis · · Score: 4, Interesting

      ??? Saves time? LaTeX source is just a text file. You could invent your own tags like

      @SQL QUERY@

      Then write a perl script that parses the text and replaces the text between @@ with the result.

      I do a related trick for my text book where I have @line_number,text@ markups that sync up line numbers in the text with lines in source code. E.g. I can say "The while loop on line @74,while@ performs..." and then it looks around line 74 for the word "while" and replaces the @@ with the actual number.

      This way if I add a comment or whitespace my line numbers still make sense. To make a PDF I type

      make docs ... really hard.

      My point is you don't need to spend two grand on a suite of tools where teTeX and a small perl script accomplishes the same thing. You could edit the LaTeX source with any text editor and view the pdf, ps or dvi output with your fav reader.

      If you're not a programmer hire some intern for a week to script it up for you.

      You look at that and probably say "oh great now I have to invent my own tools!" I say why not? Why is being clever such a bad thing? It means I can use professional tools [hint: LaTeX does typesetting not just whatever Word feels like] and accomplish my goals in an efficient manner. Instead of being totally dependent on MSFT to come in and solve my problems [with the added bonus of vendor lockin, security holes your parents would be ashamed of and a price tag that is absurd].

      Tom

      --
      Someday, I'll have a real sig.
  4. Cyborgs...? by drrck · · Score: 4, Funny

    FTA: Microsoft execs also talked about "Impacting People," then they dragged out fashion designer Tommy Hilfiger, who seemed very "impacted" as he sang praise for Microsoft programs ...
    "When you combine people and technology, you have a very powerful combination." Think about that. Just let it sink in for a minute.

    I for one welcome our new Vista powered overlords.

  5. colleagues by mattoo · · Score: 4, Funny
    From the article:
    ...that lets you see how your colleagues and your colleagues' colleagues rate various Web sites.
    Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't your colleagues' colleagues by definition also your colleagues?
  6. Do we care what Lyons says anymore? by tpgp · · Score: 5, Insightful
    After all, he's the author of such 'provocative' articles as Who is Pamela Jones? Linux's Hit Men, Linux? No Thanks. and SCO's 'Smoking Gun'

    He's a troll, and an inconsistent one at that.

    The final paragraph of the linked article
    Why not at least switch to an Apple Computer (nasdaq: AAPL - news - people ) Mac? Apple's new operating system is stable, reliable and easy to use. The applications are simple, gorgeous and work well together. And they're here. Today. Steve Jobs must be waking up a happy man this morning.
    Really explains alot. I presumed this guy (with his anti IBM, Novell & Linux stance) was an MS shill. Turns out he's just another Apple fanboy.
    --
    My pics.
  7. Groundhog Day by Tackhead · · Score: 4, Funny
    Quoth Daniel Lyons in TFA:
    > Instead, we got a demo that was about as compelling as a root canal followed by a 15-minute press conference with Ballmer, the Microsoft chief executive who seems incapable of speaking at any level softer than a bellow.
    >[...]
    >I wonder if Ballmer ever feels like the guy in Groundhog Day, reliving the same press conference, over and over. I know I do.

    Developers. Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers.

    Gee, I wonder why it feels like Groundhog Day.

    (I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met Natalie Portman. We ate hot grits and drank pina coladas from tikis made of petrified wood. At sunset we made love like sea otters. *That* was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over and over and over...)

  8. Software Assurance and Date Slippage by E-Sabbath · · Score: 5, Interesting

    As I understand things, many Software Assurance Plans, which were essentially forced on customers with the claim that Longhorn would be available, expire as of 12/31/06.

    I wonder if there may be issues with claims salesmen made and this date slippage.

  9. Vista: "Impacting People" by shrubya · · Score: 4, Funny
    Quote:
    Microsoft execs also talked about "Impacting People,"

    You see, this is an example of where the article goes wrong. Daniel Lyons didn't realize they were talking about this kind of impaction.

  10. When you combine people and technology.. by clickety6 · · Score: 4, Funny
    ... you get the fricking Borg !!


    --
    ----------------------------------- My Other Sig Is Hilarious -----------------------------------
  11. Other "Vista" slogans considered by MS marketing by Dystopian+Rebel · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Windows Vista -- Get The Facts"
    "Windows Vista -- A Powerful Combination Of Combined Powers"
    "Windows Vista -- Sheep Ready"
    "Windows Vista -- Because The Richest Bloke In The World Says So"
    "Windows Vista -- Almost Ready"
    "Windows Vista -- Or I Hit You With This Chair"

    --
    Rich And Stupid is not so bad as Working For Rich And Stupid.
  12. Biologists Don't Do Windows... by FellowConspirator · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I work for a large biotech company. Upper management uses Windows-based systems, as does manufacturing.

    However, I work in research. Until recently the systems were about 50-50 Windows / Mac with the exceptions of bioinformatics (mostly Linux), and cheminformatics (mostly Irix). However, more recently, vendors have been phasing out the use of Windows for instrumentation control in favor of Linux. Nearly all the structural chemistry applications have moved to Linux, and most genomics, proteomics, and metabolomics software is now Linux-based (and, frequently, runs just fine on Macs too). Macs are still pretty popular, but the use of Windows in research is pretty much considered "legacy" at this point.

    If you come from an academic environment in contemporary biology, you were probably weened on Mac OS, or Solaris (when I was in grad school). If it's more recent, it's most definitely OS/X or Linux. It's also clear that Linux is rapidly becoming the platform-of-choice for apps in biotech and pharamceutical research, but with a heavy emphasis on WEB-based technologies.

    That's not to say that there aren't users that use nothing but Excel and Word, but that's not so common anymore in research (at least were I work and in my previous job). This poses a big problem for our IT department -- they aren't prepared to support Linux desktops and Mac OS/X, yet those are the platforms where most of our applications run.

    Biolgists either don't do computers at all (particularly "old school" biologists), or, if they do, Windows is not what they have the most experience with...

  13. The doctor is in by hey! · · Score: 5, Funny

    Let's take my three sisters. Each has a degree in biology. Each considers me their personal tech support when anything "breaks." It sucks.

    OK, you clearly have issues.

    What you haven't realized is your hostility towards your sisters is a form of transferance. You are transferring your need to show your mother that you are a competent adult (and thus worthy of regard) onto your sisters, and projecting your own infantile dependency onto them. It is worth noting that while you must constantly demonstrate your expertise and competence in computers to them, they have no compulsion to retern the favor by offering you help in their area of expertise. Likely this difference is due to insecure paternal attachment on your part. Could this be unresolved castration anxiety? Certainly that would explain the difference between you and you sisters. In any case, the underlying assymetry in your relationship reinforces your infantile anxiety, which creates rage, part of which is displaced onto Microsoft, the balance of which is sublimated in the form of further demonstrations of technical competence. Naturally, such heroic (dare I say histrionic?) demonstrations of technical finesse that only exacerabate your problem.

    What you need to do is to address the imbalance in your relationship to your sisters. A few concrete suggestions:

    * Encourage them to install the beta of Vista. Then when they have problems, throw up your hands and confess you don't know anything about Microsoft operating systems.

    * Develop a stock response to technical question and consistently use it for every problem no matter how trivial e.g., "Try reformatting your hard drive and reinstalling the operating system." This will encourage your sisters to be less dependent on you.

    * Demand that your sisters provide you with equivalent services in their areas of expertise. For example, why did your last batch of homebrew beer come out sour? What can you do about the crabgrass on your lawn? When you are going out on a date after work, how can you avoid having body odor even if you've showered in the morning (claim you are allergic to deoderant)?

    Follow this strategy, and you cannot help but develop a more adult, mutually satisfying relationship with your siblings.

    --
    Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
  14. I'll Use what the bossman... by i_am_the_r00t · · Score: 4, Insightful

    puts on my laptop. I'm a sheep. Aren't we all?

    Right now it's XP and Office 2003.
    As long as I can hook it up to a projector and bore the crap out of a room full of people with 83 Powerpoint slides, The Bossman is happy.

    I don't see big corporations being first in line for a shiny new OS that practically triples the minimum hardware requirement.

    At Home I'll use whatever Valve software tells me to use so I can Play Half-Life 3. Sheep, remember?

  15. "Microsoft can't afford to screw up like this" by FridayBob · · Score: 4, Insightful

    But, of course they can! They're a monopoly, and there's nothing that Steve Jobs, the Open Source community or anybody else can do about it (well, the US Justice Dept. tried before Bush stopped 'em).

    Unfortunately, Microsoft's customers (i.e. most of the world) are willing to wait a really long time before they give up on the Redmond giant. It's that damned critical mass that they've built up over the years: everything's geared to supporting Windows before anything else, from hardware manufacturers to ISVs to ISPs to media companies, etc. Even Google doesn't support anything but Windows for Google Earth! (okay, there's a Mac beta for it now too, but you get my drift).

    Therefore, I figure that Microsoft's monopoly position can only be threatened if one of their next new operating systems turns out to be a total failure. If Microsoft aren't able to dump it and replace it soon enough with something better, only then will significant numbers of their customers begin to loose faith in them and move on to alternative operating systems.

    Let's hope Vista turns out to be that dog.

  16. Re:trying not to troll by aralin · · Score: 5, Interesting
    Up until a year ago it took some three months to actually produce a working build of Windows Vista. Now they managed to pull a miracle and get it down to about a week or so. I work on a similar scale software and we produce working builds every day or two on multiple codelines. If we ever get to third day without a working build on main codeline, the developers scream like mad. If we would get to a week, the development would halt for the sheer number of conflicts from thousands of developers pounding it day and night. If we hit three months, the product would become totally unbuildable and the company would implode in a big puff of smoke, or maybe godzilla would eat us all, I just cannot even imagine that possibility.

    The fact that Microsoft operates under conditions like that is indeed a herculean effort, but such a huge amount of resources is wasted in the process and such amount of overhead generated, that there is no wonder for Vista to be delayed 3 years and its feature list slashed in half and its stability and security (whatever amount there ever been) is going down the drain. I can only imagine that Office is in the same boat.

    This is not merely flawed development environment, this is a sign of total disaster in making.

    --
    If programs would be read like poetry, most programmers would be Vogons.
  17. Re:Opinion? by The+Angry+Mick · · Score: 4, Funny
    Since when has an Opinion piece become a piece of tech news?

    Don't read many newspapers, or watch much television, do you?

    --

    I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly, alert.

  18. Re:Outsource them here! by cluke · · Score: 4, Funny

    My mind is kind of boggling at any sort of practical demo that could illustrate that difference.

    "Yes, and this stuff in my hand is semen, which I will now smear on to a slide - if you will come over and look into this microscope..."

    (As an aside, I wonder who was the first guy to look at semen in a microscope? That dude must have been freaked the fuck out, big time!)

  19. Re:Boy, you got my number! by hey! · · Score: 4, Funny

    Maybe you can help me with this, it gets really confusing now. My sisters are seated at computers. And when they touch them, they turn into toilets full of excrement--not working at all. But as I walk down the line, my mere touch turns them into golden Alienware desktops running at the speed of light. They get on their knees and start to worship me and again I'm laughing maniacly.

    I know this sounds kind of gross and I have issues, but what does it all mean, doc?


    Ah, yes. Excrement that turns into gold. This a dream motif commonly seen in the anal-expulsive personality type, which as we all know is characterized by high levels of conceit and ambition. This should, I believe, be watched closely. We should consider increasing the frequency of our sessions to twice a week (at the normal rate of course), for is not unusal for these tendencies to grow into an intractable and malignant narcissism.

    For a fascinating example of a parallel case in which the same dream motif if found, see the case study of "Bill G." published in a recent Zeitschrift der Analyse von Träumen. The details of this case are an extreme example, it is true, nonetheless it is well that they should give us pause.

    --
    Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.