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Will Apple Disappoint on 30th Anniversary?
An anonymous reader writes "We've seen the media get over-excited about an Apple launch before, but one CNET columnist is 'threatening suicide' if Apple don't announce something for their 30th Anniversary this Saturday. CNET is concerned at the lack of any news from Apple: 'You'd guess that Steve Jobs will at least have to walk out onto the lawn in Cupertino, light a few fireworks and make some whooping noises. It's that or risk an international incident.' Is Apple going to keep a low profile for their 30th?"
I hope Chris Stevens and his wife don't have any anniversaries coming up. I guess she could always 'forget one' after taking out a lucrative life insurance policy on him.
My work here is dung.
One tires after a few years of reading overwrought Apple-adulation.
Said Steve Jobs, "It has been a good 30 year run and, unlike most companies, we want to close the doors while we are still profitable"
I would settle for a one day sale of 30% in celebration of 30 years. Every Apple product 30% off, then I would buy a MacBook Pro. They at least need to do an April Fool's joke. Like "We're making OS X available to install legally on all generic x86 harware." ... Gotcha! April Fools!!
Oh come on now! It's talking about Steve Jobs, Apple, their 30th Anniversary, and suicide. Sounds almost as good as the 6 o'clock news trailers.
Of course there's a story here--there may be a job opening at CNET UK next week!
This guy's the limit!
Apple plans on selling their portable computers to Lenovo and the desktop computers to Dell, following the leads of IBM and Alienware. Apple will then take the money from those two deals and purchase apple music thereby bringing a long-time battle to a close. Of course this will result in Beatles music being available in iTunes for 9cents per song, to spite Yoko Ono.
Don't shoot the messenger, the voices told me this, they really did.
I think the story is, "CNET is desperately trying to fill space."
Stop by my site where I write about ERP systems & more
I know what they can do. They can all get together and buy a truckload of Toilet Paper and TP Microsoft HQ!
"Apple Computer - proudly going out of business for thirty years"!
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
"Ipod Yocto" - an Ipod so small that it fits into your inner ear.
Once you buy it, you will instantly become the coolest technophile on the planet, but the downside is that noone will be able to notice that you own one.
He who knows best knows how little he knows. - Thomas Jefferson
Maybe you should just kill yourself now and beat the rush.
No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow. - Cmdr. Susan Ivanova
Are you kidding me??? You obviously don't know how to kill yourself like a man.
Best. Webhost. Ever. Dreamhost.
A range of leather cases for the iPod range. Nothing new I hear you cry? This time they come with a limited edition embossed logo.
Remember, you heard it here first!
Hmmm. Isn't the tax 15%, not 45% ???
15%, son, if you're paying 15% then it's very obvious that you have a long ways to go up the wage ladder, let alone even coming within sniffing distance of Stevie.
Steve should bring out a wheelbarrow of newspaper and magazine articles about "beleaguered Apple" or "Apple going out of business" and light them up in the parking lot. And maybe send a get well card to Michael Dell.
I'm as much of an Apple fanboy as the next guy (3 Macs at home, 2 ipods, 6 converts)
Thats one thing I've noticed all Mac users I know(including myself) keep track of...number of people coverted. I've only got 1 convert(wife), but she's already racked up 6, and they've converted a few more. All happy Mac users now.
Are there any Mac users out there who don't keep track of the number of people who have "switched" after playing around with his or her computer for a while?
Maybe they could announce 2 buttons on the MacBookPro trackpad? Why on earth is it still one button? Even the Mighty Mouse has more buttons.
1 less CNet writer = the world is a better place.
Dear Slashdot: next time you want to mess with the site, add a rich-text editor for comments.
Nah. He'll walk out onto the lawn and yell at some kids to get off it.
Disclosure: I'm thirtysomething.
proof, n. A demonstration that a conclusion is implied by certain premises and axioms.
and establish a Cabinet-level office of "le Software" to celebrate victory.
viva le Difference.
if this is supposed to be a new economy, how come they still want my old fashioned money?
This is indeed one area where Apple lags behind Microsoft. Microsoft has the ability to not just disappoint on each and every anniversary of their founding, but most of the days in between as well.
That's right: the Apple \/, the latest successor to the wildly successful Apple ][ line, is on its way. This state-of-the-art machine features an amazing 8 MHz processor with a shocking 512 KB of RAM and built-in double floppy drives, to handle the computing needs of the 21st Century. This machine comes with an updated version of Apple DOS that gives you the power to create directories on your double-sided floppy disks (although I understand that NetBSD will also run on this machine). Order now and get a free 14" monochrome monitor and printer (your choice of dot-matrix or pinwheel).
Finding God in a Dog
"but one CNET columnist is 'threatening suicide' if Apple don't announce something for their 30th Anniversary this Saturday."
CNET? Heck, I'll chip in and buy the Kool-Aid!
They've done small. Enough of that. Now they're gonna go BIG. Everyone will want one of these. ;)
"Tread softly because you tread on my dreams"
That's why iPod earbuds are so uncomfortable. Even nanomachines in the white earbuds take up space. And you thought yesterday's iPod update was for volume control. It was really for control of volumes of people!
Jobs anounces that they decided to not go through with the Pixar sale and instead Pixar will merge with Apple and they have made an offer to buy Disney. His only major condition is that Michael Eisner be shot. The Disney board has said that shouldn't be a problem.
Yes, we all know that using LaTeX drives even real men to suicide.
-- This and all my posts are in the public domain. I am a lawyer. I am not your lawyer, and this is not legal advice.
Just wait till the dupe comes out
antipaucity
Well, I dunno about the Stones, but I think I can be safe in saying that Steve Jobs is DEFINITELY not planning on having the Beatles come and sing a celebration anytime soon.
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Leap Different.