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VW Beetle Fitted with a Jet Engine

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the solid-gold-houses dept.

6031769 writes "Ron Patrick has decided to go that little bit further by souping up his VW beetle with a jet engine, as reported by the San Francisco Chronicle. Serious planning went into the project. Patrick said, 'We did (computerized) structural analysis and we did stability analysis. And by God, you know what happens? It works!' Contrast with the Rocket Boy to see how it should not be done." Yes, the Darwin award winner was found to be bogus, but unlike the myth, Ron still lives!

27 of 283 comments (clear)

  1. Prior art by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hey i have prior art! I should have patented this...

    Signed,
    Batman

  2. Hmmm... by talkingc · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is there a bumper sticker that says: How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT.

    1. Re:Hmmm... by Duhavid · · Score: 3, Funny

      It actually says

      "Ho"

      Cause that is all you can read.

      --
      emt 377 emt 4
    2. Re:Hmmm... by Cl1mh4224rd · · Score: 4, Funny
      Is there a bumper sticker that says: How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT.
      "If you can read this, start dialing the fire department."
      --
      People will pass up steak once a week, for crap every day.
  3. VW Thunder by Metabolife · · Score: 4, Funny

    Ah.. finally, uselessness done right!

    1. Re:VW Thunder by AKAImBatman · · Score: 4, Funny

      Don't worry, it won't last long. A German couple will be along shortly to destory the car.

      "Time to unpimp zee auto!"

      --
      Javascript + Nintendo DSi = DSiCade
  4. Zoom. by AlexanderDitto · · Score: 3, Funny

    In Soviet Russia, beetle get smashed on windsheild. In America, Beetle smash YOU!

    --
    No, Mr. Green. Communism is just a red herring.
  5. Is it me by ad0gg · · Score: 4, Funny

    Or does combining a volkswagon bug and a tail pipe so large that it make goatse jealous seem very.. nevermind.

    --

    Have you ever been to a turkish prison?

  6. Defensive driving by CaptainCarrot · · Score: 4, Funny
    From TFA:

    Patrick says that once in a while he puts on a crash helmet (mainly as a sound muffler), takes the car out on nearby Highway 237 in the wee hours of the morning and fires it up for a brief and hopefully cop-free run.

    I frequently travel home from work on Hwy. 237 in Sunnyvale in the wee hours of the morning. I think I'd better watch out for this guy. I doubt my unmodfied Hyundai Accent could keep up, or even get out of the way for that matter.

    --
    And the brethren went away edified.
    1. Re:Defensive driving by jbrader · · Score: 4, Funny

      Those mirrors on your car are for looking behind you.

      --
      You are so boring that when I see you my feet go to sleep.
    2. Re:Defensive driving by chicagotypewriter · · Score: 3, Funny

      ...and those eyes are for looking in front of you, possibly even into the other lane if you are that skilled.

    3. Re:Defensive driving by ultranova · · Score: 3, Funny

      You can outrun a cop. However, you can't outrun a radio.

      Sure you can. After all, the speed of electromagnetic radiation in atmosphere is less than c. Now, a VW Beetle might not be able to outrun light even in an atmosphere, but it certainly is not impossible.

      Another possibility would be to just jam the radio. Or perhaps use a color-changing car paint and a license plate switcher.

      --

      Forget magic. Any technology distinguishable from divine power is insufficiently advanced.

    4. Re:Defensive driving by Dr.+GeneMachine · · Score: 4, Funny
      Sure you can. After all, the speed of electromagnetic radiation in atmosphere is less than c.
      ...
      Or perhaps use a color-changing car paint

      No need for the color changing paint - if you travel at that speed, you would be sufficiently red-shifted for the tailing cops. Just run, then park at the next lot - "No officer, I didn't see that red car speeding by."

      --
      This comment does not exist.
    5. Re:Defensive driving by Skevin · · Score: 4, Funny

      > Or perhaps use a color-changing car paint and a license plate switcher.

      You don't need color-changing car paint. At relativistic speeds, the officer you are moving away from will phone his buddies to watch out for a dark red car which is very long. His buddies down the road will only see an oncoming *blue* car which is short but has elongated sides. A police chopper overhead will see you arrive at the officers ahead at the same time as the officer you just left, and will have to conclude there are two separate cars. If any officers decide to enter pursuit, you just turn around for a split second, and bam! Eighty subjective years will have gone by for the offending officers.

      If any of this is confusing, just give me a call and we'll drive to Vegas together in my relativistically modified VW Bug... none of this jet engine crap. All I demand is that you're female and sexy.

      Solomon

      --
      "Twice half-assed makes an ass whole." --Solomon K. Chang
    6. Re:Defensive driving by john83 · · Score: 4, Funny
      I doubt it too. On the other hand, you'd see this guy coming from miles away - sky lit up with the flames and forty patrol cars on his tail.
      Yeah, but it's okay, he's on a mission from God.
      --
      Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
  7. the Volkswagon Irre by donaldGuy · · Score: 5, Funny

    German for nutcase

  8. "hopefully copfree run" by ZachPruckowski · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yeah, I'd hate to see that speeding ticket. It'd cost twice as much as the rocket car.

    1. Re:"hopefully copfree run" by ZachPruckowski · · Score: 3, Funny

      yes, because you use your only missile to fire a warning shot...

      Then what?

  9. Painted on the Side by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Darwin Express"

    --
    Table-ized A.I.
  10. He still needs.... by daemonenwind · · Score: 4, Funny

    Spinners, HID-headlights and a massive wing spoiler to go with that fat chrome tip.

    Time to pimp das Auto! Amerikan engineering in da Haus, ja.

  11. This is what /. is really about by KarmaOverDogma · · Score: 5, Funny

    covering the most awesome truth-is-stranger-than-fiction stuff where every geek looks and says in a Keanu Reeves voice: "Whoa..."

    What a great article!

    --
    uR iGn0ranc3, Their Power
  12. Sounds like some serious over-compensation... by Esion+Modnar · · Score: 4, Funny

    for everybody pointing and laughing at his "chick" car with built-in flower vase. Now it's a jet-propelled chick car.

    --

    They say the first thing to go is your penis. Well, it's either that or your brain. I forget which...
  13. Punch buggy jet blue! by beoswulf · · Score: 4, Funny

    Me "Punch buggy blue!"
    gf "Oww! Where? I don't see it..."
    me "Too slow!"

  14. other way around by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny

    by souping up his VW beetle with a jet engine,

    Shouldn't it be, "adding a VW-beetle to his jet engine"?

    --
    Table-ized A.I.
  15. Its all good and fun... by Toxicgonzo · · Score: 3, Funny

    'till Ron Patrick hits a speed bump

    1. Re:Its all good and fun... by MadUndergrad · · Score: 3, Funny

      Rear-ended? By what, a MiG?

  16. Guide to life by colmore · · Score: 4, Funny

    a partial guide to life:

    You can pretty much fuck around with your youth however you want. Dress crazy, sleep around, be poor, be rich, whatever. There comes a point -- let's say 30 -- when you need to get serious and start thinking about the future. I'm not talking about a job or investing or anything, I mean, do that stuff, but we're not covering that here. We're talking about identity and personality... who you are. There comes a time when reinventions of self are just tedious to your friends and family, so you need to pick a target for middle/old age, and then work, slowly, on gracefully transitioning from whoever you were at 29 into that guy.

    I think this is my guy.

    (idea cribbed somewhat from Vice magazine)

    --
    In Capitalist America, bank robs you!