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Well I'll Be A Monkey's Uncle
killproc writes "A new report suggests that interbreeding between humans and chimpanzees happened a lot more recently than was previously thought. The report, published in the most recent issue of the journal Nature, estimates that final break between the human and chimpanzee species did not come until 6.3 million years ago at the earliest, and probably less than 5.4 million years ago."
Scientists: Humans and Apes share a common ancestor.
:-)
Creationists: No they don't, God created us all as we are now.
Scientists: To clarify, we're actually descended from the interbreeding between our ancestral humans and early chimps, which created a third, infertile "hybrid" species, the human equivalent of a mule. Though incapable of breeding among its own, the hybrid is believed to have survived by mating with its parent human or chimp species.
Scientists: Oh, and our ancestor's were happily getting up to monkey business with their cousins (so to speak) for four million years after the split!
Creationists: Oh right, that clears that up then! Cheers
(Second scientist line ripped off from the rather good article on this subject on the Guardian's website.)
There are shills on slashdot. Apparently, I'm one of them.
I liked my headline a whole lot better:
Was Your Ancestor a Monkey F**ker?
This guy's the limit!
Why, Steve Ballmer of course ;)
Oh no... it's the future.
This is not news.
Telltale Games: Bone, Sam and Max
According to my wife, it happened just last night...
The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel...
here
Dubya!
That was weeks ago, and it was on a dare. Let's speak no more of this.
Slashdot Burying Stories About Slashdot Media Owned
Robin Williams' body hair explained.
Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!
> I mean all that hair and leathery lips!
It doesn't seem to have slowed Paris Hilton down.
...final break between the human and chimpanzee species did not come until 6.3 million years ago at the earliest, and probably less than 5.4 million years ago.
They should go to the mall sometime and revise their estimate accordingly.
The creationists will go ape anyway. Pounding their chests, screeching, throwing shit ... that's just what that particular group of (not-so-)great apes does.
The correlation between ignorance of statistics and using "correlation is not causation" as an argument is close to 1.
I thought the last 2 US presidential elections were evidence of much more recent human-chimp interbreeding. Did I miss a meeting or something? Maybe it was orangs...
A-Bomb
Please, you unenlightened folks all have it wrong. It's an indisputable fact that the Flying Spaghetti Monster implanted that genetic information in Humans and Chimps just to make it LOOK like we're evolved from a common ancestor. He's so sneaky!
Arrrrrrrr matey...
-Arthur
Cave ne ante ullas catapultas ambules
I like that analogy!
'Course, most creationists have probably never heard of Zeno's paradox, and if they had to think about it for a while, they'd probably end up concluding that it's irrelevant since Zeno, Achilles, and the turtle were all going to Hell anyway.
The correlation between ignorance of statistics and using "correlation is not causation" as an argument is close to 1.
THey still exist, just look at the Republican party!
Now all the furries are going to come out and say that what they do is perfectly natural. Damn you, science, damn you.
Another desperate geek cry for help.
I'm surprised that nobody got killed trying to release this blasphemous information.
1) Earth older than 6000 years? check
2) Support of evolution? check
3) bestiality OMGWTFBBQ!! check
The fundies must be clawing their own skin off reading this!
do() || do_not();
Working alphabetically I'm up to Orangutang. No kids so far.
A guy on vacation goes to the big city as a tourist when he makes the acquaintance of someone named Sal. Sal is a gregarious guy, knows everything about the city, and seems to have done everything it is possible to have done, so tourist guy is happy to have him along as a companion.
During their travels, Sal points to a block of row homes. "See those houses? I was on the construction crew that built those, and maybe half the other houses in this neighborhood. But do they call me "Sal, the home builder?" No."
Later, while crossing a bridge, Sal points to a spot on the river below. "See that? Right there, there was this rowboat with a bunch of kids in it, which capsized. Idiot parents didn't put lifejackets on the kids. So I had to jump in and save the little guys. Seven kids, I pulled out of the water! But do they call me, "Sal, the saver of drowning children?" No."
Later still, they're passing the metropolitan zoo. Sal looks particularly steamed. "Okay. See the primate house over there?"
"I fucked ONE chimp..."
Human-Chimp hybrids are alive today! I know this for a fact, in that:
- I have work directly for them (the hybrid being my direct supervisor),
- I have worked for companies that they were members of the executive staff,
- I have even invested in stock, in companies that, as it turns out, they ran,
- I suspect (at least) a few are elected to office in Washington DC, right now!
How else do you explain the human appearance and animal behavior of many supervisors, Corporate Executives and politicians?!!
Yeah, that's the scientific process all right. A bunch of people give extra weight to what certain people say based on social networks.
History is filled with wrong science being accepted for social reasons.
I mean, after all, we now have proof it is for propagation...
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.