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Back to the Bunker
Oldsmobile writes "On Monday, June 19, about 4,000 government workers representing more than 50 federal agencies will say goodbye to their families and set off for dozens of classified emergency facilities stretching from the Maryland and Virginia suburbs to the foothills of the Alleghenies. They will take to the bunkers in an "evacuation" that sources describe as the largest "continuity of government" exercise ever conducted, a drill intended to prepare the U.S. government for an event even more catastrophic than the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. The vast secret operation has updated the duck-and-cover scenarios of the 1950s with state-of-the-art technology -- alerts and updates delivered by pager and PDA, wireless priority service, video teleconferencing, remote backups -- to ensure that "essential" government functions continue undisrupted in an emergency."
Farewell!
for the mess to begin with.
Mmmmm... maybe be sure to save the Telephone Sanitizers this time around.
But what about hordes of people who constitute 'the people' in the declaration of independence ?
*sigh* how easily we forget history. Watch those old training films. Hiding under a desk or picnic blanket will provide protection in the event of a nuclear attack.
D6 63 0D 70 89 81 BB 8E 7B 7C 5F 5D 54 EA AB 73
"...to ensure that 'essential' government functions continue undisrupted in an emergency."
So now they're going to practice their coffee breaks, giving rude service to the public and wasting our tax dollars on dubious projects... all from underneath a fortified bunker, to ensure this very fine tradition is not lost in the event of a nuclear attack?
The leadership of this country has a wildly overblown sense of self-importance. Even if we were to lose every politician in Washington, we have the largest prison population in the world, a vast pool from which to build a new government.
RICE_BABY: "LOLZ IN DA BUNKA WHERE U @?"
CHAIN_MAN: "AT DA DOOR OPEN UP LOL"
SHRUB: "B SERIYUS U 2"
BROWNIE: "YEAH U NEVER KNOW WHOS GONNA SEE YER MESSAGES"
WASH_POST: "YEAH LOL IN UR NETWORK READIN YER MESSAGES SEE YOU IN THE PAPERS"
RUMMY: "LOL SEE YOU IN GITMO ALL YOUR RIGHTS ARE BELONG TO ME"
WASH_POST: "OH SHI..."
Please help metamoderate.
Complete with lemonade and a 1/2 gallon of Jose Tequila in the "basement bunker" via webcam1 ;)
I'm gonna cover my roof with school desks. That's 5/8 inch particle board...nothing goes through that.
rj
Three thoughts. Glad I'm taking vacation this week. I'll be sure to see Cars on Friday. And, I for one, posthumously welcome our underground bureaucratic overlords.
... for an event even more catastrophic than the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.
The 2006 mid-term elections?
but the USA PATRIOT Act forbids discussing this in any form.
I am at risk myself because I told you this as discussing what the USA PATRIOT Act forbids is also forbidden.
"Moreover, since 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina, the definition of what constitutes an "essential" government function has been expanded so ridiculously beyond core national security functions -- do we really need patent and trademark processing in the middle of a nuclear holocaust? -- that the term has become meaningless."
Just before the blastwave hits, as I put my head between my legs and kiss my ass goodbye, my final thought can be "maybe I'll be dead but at least the patent system will live on..."
I still have my stash I prepared for the Y2K crises.
Mmmm. I think some of this stuff needs to be updated. And all the beer I stashed is long gone.
I for one welcome my unelected shadow government over lords. Permanent marshal law? Mmmmmm donuts. I mean why hold elections for a new government or any of that silly outdated inefficient 18th century human rights crap?
Tired of all the isms, don't exploit people as an employer, or a government, mmmmK?
Hiding under a desk or picnic blanket will provide protection in the event of a nuclear attack.
Or just go around the corner and down the street.
I for one, posthumously welcome our underground bureaucratic overlords.
Wouldn't that be underlords?
Really? I wouldn't put it past any US politician to eat their own young if it would further their political career.
today is spelling optional day.
That's precisely why they would want to bring their family along ...
"Because Science" is one step from "Because old book". Try "Because of my experiment testing my falsifiable assertion".
What if there is an asteroid about to hir Earth and the governement knows this and planned a "drill" to evacuate people underground that really isn't a drill. It would save people not on the list from trying to get there :)
Ok, conspiracy theory over!
Dear Ruiner13,
Normally the Agency eliminates conspiracy theorists who happen to get it right, but in this particular case there appears to be no point in doing so.
Enjoy the light show, wear sunscreen, etc.
Yours,
Agent 103181
ROOM 11741
Sublevel C-3A
Undisclosed location,
Virginia, USA
A NYC lawyer blogs. http://www.chuangblog.com/
No where in there does it say anything about attractiveness to females! 10 women for each man and you don't even have to attractive! Where do I sign up?! Nuclear war now!
EvilCON - Made Famous by
Or better yet, buy some European newspapers, we got a quite more balanced view of the world (which btw. does not only consist of the US, Afghanistan, Iraq and the Iran!)
Are you kidding me? European newspapers don't even try to pretend to be objective and non-partisan. Either you are a total dupe that swallows the Kool-Aid because it conveniently fits your worldview, or you are a total ass.