Back to the Bunker

Oldsmobile writes "On Monday, June 19, about 4,000 government workers representing more than 50 federal agencies will say goodbye to their families and set off for dozens of classified emergency facilities stretching from the Maryland and Virginia suburbs to the foothills of the Alleghenies. They will take to the bunkers in an "evacuation" that sources describe as the largest "continuity of government" exercise ever conducted, a drill intended to prepare the U.S. government for an event even more catastrophic than the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. The vast secret operation has updated the duck-and-cover scenarios of the 1950s with state-of-the-art technology -- alerts and updates delivered by pager and PDA, wireless priority service, video teleconferencing, remote backups -- to ensure that "essential" government functions continue undisrupted in an emergency."

Comments

Where are the bunkers to protect Citizens ?

[unity100]

Huh ?

It seems evertyhing is provided for survival of "government" elite - who have the wealth and/or connections to get elected and appointed.

But what about hordes of people who constitute 'the people' in the declaration of independence ?

Re:Where are the bunkers to protect Citizens ?

[servognome]

But what about hordes of people who constitute 'the people' in the declaration of independence ?

*sigh* how easily we forget history. Watch those old training films. Hiding under a desk or picnic blanket will provide protection in the event of a nuclear attack.

Re:Where are the bunkers to protect Citizens ?

[Deadstick]

I'm gonna cover my roof with school desks. That's 5/8 inch particle board...nothing goes through that.

rj

Re:Where are the bunkers to protect Citizens ?

[Dorsai65]

As we were instructed during my Navy boot camp: find a shielded spot, sit down, place your head between your knees, and kiss your 4ss goodbye...

Nobody should be surprised by this. I mean, surely I wasn't the only one that noticed that the Federal governments first response after 9/11 was to protect itself (i.e. Federal buildings, etc.)? State, County, and City governments were left to fend for themselves until the Fed had its ass covered; us mere citizens don't get squat, if you don't count the 'protection' we get from TSA airport screeners, the Patriot Act, and other catchy-titled programs.

Re:Where are the bunkers to protect Citizens ?

[DigiShaman]

It seems evertyhing is provided for survival of "government" elite - who have the wealth and/or connections to get elected and appointed.

But what about hordes of people who constitute 'the people' in the declaration of independence ?

Oh, that's easy! Once the "government elite" have left for the bunkers, the hords of people above ground will weld the doors shut. The world forever will be a better place to live =)

Scheduled Revolutions

[Doc Ruby]

"an event even more catastrophic than the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks"

Would that be the November 7, 2006 Congressional elections? Or the November 4, 2008 elections, showing exceptionally long-range planning?

Credibility gap

[Mostly a lurker]

When the emergency preparedness procedures are woefully inadequate in cases where the responsible agencies are operating from their regular offices, why should I believe they would be effective when staff are trying to react in a situation of real chaos.

Bright!!! Save the people who are responsible...

[Anonymous Coward]

for the mess to begin with.

Mmmmm... maybe be sure to save the Telephone Sanitizers this time around.

Continuation of Coffee Breaks and Rude Service

[Lew Payne]

"...to ensure that 'essential' government functions continue undisrupted in an emergency."

So now they're going to practice their coffee breaks, giving rude service to the public and wasting our tax dollars on dubious projects... all from underneath a fortified bunker, to ensure this very fine tradition is not lost in the event of a nuclear attack?

A Waste of Time

[thecitruskid]

The leadership of this country has a wildly overblown sense of self-importance. Even if we were to lose every politician in Washington, we have the largest prison population in the world, a vast pool from which to build a new government.

Re:A Waste of Time

[TubeSteak]

we have the largest prison warden population in the world, a vast pool from which to build a new government

Fixed that for you

Not so secret after all

[LiquidCoooled]

The vast secret operation has updated the duck-and-cover scenarios of the 1950s with state-of-the-art technology

So, posting it on slashdot counts as secrecy nowadays.

text messages

[SuperBanana]

The vast secret operation has updated the duck-and-cover scenarios of the 1950s with state-of-the-art technology -- alerts and updates delivered by pager and PDA

RICE_BABY: "LOLZ IN DA BUNKA WHERE U @?"

CHAIN_MAN: "AT DA DOOR OPEN UP LOL"

SHRUB: "B SERIYUS U 2"

BROWNIE: "YEAH U NEVER KNOW WHOS GONNA SEE YER MESSAGES"

WASH_POST: "YEAH LOL IN UR NETWORK READIN YER MESSAGES SEE YOU IN THE PAPERS"

RUMMY: "LOL SEE YOU IN GITMO ALL YOUR RIGHTS ARE BELONG TO ME"

WASH_POST: "OH SHI..."

Re:text messages

[AndroidCat]

BIN-L: WAZZUP!

I can still see a need...

[ChePibe]

While the Wa Post columnist - it should be noted that this is an opinion piece, not an article - is obviously not too fond of the idea, I'd say it still has at least some merit.

With increased WMD proliferation - from big budget nukes to dirt cheap chemical weapons - that can be used to attack the U.S. capital and government installations, I'd say that such a plan is smart to have as a backup. Should Iran wake up one day and decide to nuke Washington (a possibility in the future), we would certainly be able to retaliate and turn it into the Islamic Republic of Glass Bowl or Parking Lot (pick your favorite), but what would happen to all of the government infrastructure there? We're not just talking about continuity of elected leaders, but about the civilian side of the government as well, which this plan seems to focus on, too.

While nuclear war with Russia or another fairly heavily armed power (i.e. China) remains an enormously remote possibility, exchanges with countries that possess only a handful of nukes (Iran, North Korea, etc.) are much more likely. In such an event, the U.S. would not need to focus simply on making sure the attacker is completely wiped out - this is a given - but that it can survive a relatively small attack affecting only a handful of cities such as Washington and New York rather than a widespread nuclear holocaust in which all of this would simply be moot anyways.

The author is obviously unhappy with the inefficiency of this program, but I'm not entirely convinced by his arguments. Security, backups, etc. are always inefficient. Security and efficiency are always at odds with each other. Spending hundreds of millions on a backup that MIGHT be used is entirely inefficient EXCEPT when you need it, in which case it becomes a necessity. Combine this with the fact that the government is also not known for its efficiency and you've got a problem.

The U.S. isn't getting ready for nuclear holocaust any more, as many slashdotters have claimed and the author seems to hint at. It's getting ready for a limited nuclear exchange in which, yes, things like the patent office and budget offices must continue operating in the months and years to come when their main offices have been wiped out but a vast majority of the U.S. has been left unscathed.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not defending every action of this program. I would encourage others, however, to take a more nuanced look at it. And nuance is something slashdot appears to be lacking these days. It's likely my karma will pay for it, but so be it.

(As a side note, my "confirm I'm not a script" word was "senate"... coincidence?)

Re:I can still see a need...

[ChePibe]

How far the future are you looking where "Should Iran wake up one day and decide to nuke Washington" be possible?

My personal opinion? 10 years or so.

I mean, they'd have to develop a nuclear weapon,

Perhaps you haven't been following the news...

a long-range delivery system (Arguably harder than making a small fission device),

Iran presently possesses the ability to launch against Southern Europe with its existing devices and can acquire other technology as needed.

weaponising their little pop-gun fission device so their long range delivery system can carry the thing (Very hard)

Iran presently possesses ballistic missile capability. While they have yet to develop ICBMs, their regional weapons are quite good. Additionally, why would it need to be ground launched from Iran? They have a wide terrorist network (yes, they actually do...) capable of using a nuke, and if recent GAO reports are any indicator of the present quality of border control when it comes to fissile material, I've got my doubts.

and then be Bat Shit Crazy enough to use it,

Again, perhaps you haven't been keeping up with the news...

hoping that the US don't simply shoot it out of the sky before it gets to them.

Countermeasures to missile defense systems exist.

Then they'd be turned into the world biggest sheet of glass.

Would they? I'm not entirely convinced. A small nuclear attack of that sort would likely result in a proportional strike - good bye Tehran, for example. Massive retaliation MAY not be the response, though it certainly is possible.

I mean, I'm all for sensationalist propoganda and fear based war-mongering, but that's some pretty futuristic fture you've got there.

I think you meant to post that over here. Go knock yourself out.

Re:Tinfoil hat time!

[DannyO152]

Three thoughts. Glad I'm taking vacation this week. I'll be sure to see Cars on Friday. And, I for one, posthumously welcome our underground bureaucratic overlords.

Bury the devils while we have the chance

[tengu1sd]

As Leslie Fish points out in The Digwell Carol if we take the chance to bury them now, maybe we can get on with our lives. Anyone else feel like chipping in for a concrete pour to be arranged at the mouth of bunker this week?

Re:...never to be seen again

[h4rm0ny]

Hold on... they're "saying goodbye to their families"? Oh, that can't be good for a marriage. "Yes, darling, I'm just practicing for when there's a national disaster and I abandon you to the collapse of civilisation."

My advice - stay in the bunker!

We'll Be Prepared for the Rarest of Events

[courtarro]

I, for one, feel that my money could be going to much more useful places, like developing alternative fuels to oil or cures for common lethal diseses. Frankly, if these bunkers became necessary, I'd probably be pretty offended that they don't consider me valuable enough to warrant a place in one. I hope they're also reserving space for scientists, physicists, doctors, civil engineers, electrical engineers, computer engineers, etc. etc. However I have a feeling that these bunkers will be filled with politicians who will have no purpose, after arising from nuclear holocaust, but to attempt to get surviving mutant population to vote for more defense programs while they struggle to find food.

It's good to know we will be able to handle an occurrence that has killed less than 1000 people each year. I wonder if we'll be prepared for another realistic disaster like Katrina or Rita, or if we'll be prepared for the millions who die of heart disease. Hurry to the bunkers!

Re:...never to be seen again

[TubeSteak]

Muffley:

You mean, people could actually stay down there for a hundred years?

Strangelove:

It would not be difficult mein Fuhrer! Nuclear reactors could, heh... I'm sorry. Mr. President. Nuclear reactors could provide power almost indefinitely. Greenhouses could maintain plantlife. Animals could be bred and slaughtered. A quick survey would have to be made of all the available mine sites in the country. But I would guess... that ah, dwelling space for several hundred thousands of our people could easily be provided.

Muffley:

Well I... I would hate to have to decide.. who stays up and.. who goes down.

Strangelove:

Well, that would not be necessary Mr. President. It could easily be accomplished with a computer. And a computer could be set and programmed to accept factors from youth, health, sexual fertility, intelligence, and a cross section of necessary skills. Of course it would be absolutely vital that our top government and military men be included to foster and impart the required principles of leadership and tradition. Slams down left fist. Right arm rises in stiff Nazi salute. Arrrrr! Restrains right arm with left. Naturally, they would breed prodigiously, eh? There would be much time, and little to do. But ah with the proper breeding techniques and a ratio of say, ten females to each male, I would guess that they could then work their way back to the present gross national product within say, twenty years.

Muffley:

But look here doctor, wouldn't this nucleus of survivors be so grief stricken and anguished that they'd, well, envy the dead and not want to go on living?

Strangelove:

No sir... Right arm rolls his wheelchair backwards. Excuse me. Struggles with wayward right arm, ultimately subduing it with a beating from his left.

Also when... when they go down into the mine everyone would still be alive. There would be no shocking memories, and the prevailing emotion will be one of nostalgia for those left behind, combined with a spirit of bold curiosity for the adventure ahead! Ahhhh! Right are reflexes into Nazi salute. He pulls it back into his lap and beats it again. Gloved hand attempts to strangle him.

Turgidson:

Doctor, you mentioned the ration of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?

Strangelove:

Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.

DeSadeski:

I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.

Strangelove:

Thank you, sir.

So with that in mind, what makes you think they don't want to say goodbye to their families?

Yeah, but would they go?

[Foerstner]

Looking back at the Cold War-era bunkers, several (civillian) VIP's noted that, although they had been informed of the facilities and the contingencies for their use, they never would have actually gone into them.

Because, as this article hints, they would have had to leave their families to do so.

Thinking about the "human factors" involved...would their be enough warning for anyone to be able to make it to the bunker in time? Would the roads/airspace/transit function well enough to get them to the bunkers? Would they leave their families to do so?

Re:"even more catastrophic" ???

[Mr. Slippery]

9/11 was a local disaster affecting one municipality.

Two municipalities. Let's not forget that a lot of people died at the Pentagon; a former co-worker of mine was on that plane.

Hey ... Wait a damn minute here...

[zappepcs]

Weren't government agencies practicing for the exact same situation as 9/11 just prior to it happening?

I might need a tin-foil hat here, but it just seems to convenient that they are having a 'practice run' like they were practicing before 9/11.

Uhm... given that both major terrorist attacks...

[gmezero]

that have occured since & including 911, have also coinsided with a massive government/military training drills (911 and london)... and the since the U.S. is building up a strike force for what appears to be a July attack on Iran... the conspiracy side of me is going "Hmmm...." in an ominous tone. ...do we need to be digging out our grand fathers bomb shelters for a "camping trip" with the family? Sigh...

Re:Tinfoil hat time!

[darkmeridian]

What if there is an asteroid about to hir Earth and the governement knows this and planned a "drill" to evacuate people underground that really isn't a drill. It would save people not on the list from trying to get there :)

Ok, conspiracy theory over!

Dear Ruiner13,

Normally the Agency eliminates conspiracy theorists who happen to get it right, but in this particular case there appears to be no point in doing so.

Enjoy the light show, wear sunscreen, etc.

Yours,
Agent 103181

ROOM 11741
Sublevel C-3A
Undisclosed location,
Virginia, USA

Re:...never to be seen again

[ultranova]

Hold on... they're "saying goodbye to their families"? Oh, that can't be good for a marriage. "Yes, darling, I'm just practicing for when there's a national disaster and I abandon you to the collapse of civilisation."

Their families aren't the only ones being abandoned. Doesn't it warm your heart and fill you with patriotic pride to know that your leaders are going to leave you to die like rats when shit hits the fan ?

There was a time when the leader was the guy who shouted "Follow me!" in battle, not the guy who sits home and makes speeches about the sacrifices of his loyal troops are doing somewhere far away...