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Lawyers Ordered to Play RPS to Settle Dispute
Rent-to-Pwn writes "After the lawyers involved couldn't settle even the most basic disputes without court intervention, a federal judge ordered the two lawyers to play one (1) game of rock, paper, scissors to settle the dispute. Being a federal case, in theory, it could become precedent for similar, unimportant decisions. Of course, there's no mention of what the two lawyers are supposed to do in case of a tie ..."
Since there seems to be a great deal of chance in any legal proceeding, it makes just as much sense, if not more.
...nothing beats rock.
Damn, and just when my faith in our justice system had been fully restored...
Those who anthropomorphize science and/or nature already believe in an intelligent designer.
... if they're allowed to summon expert witnesses.
PBF said it best: There's only one way to settle this.
Well son, you've gone and got yourself in for a battle.
/ theofficiaroc-20
p er&Itemid=53, and dont bother bringing that rolex, it will slow you down
s sors
Heres what you gotta do:
study up http://www.worldrps.com/ and get this http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0743267516
You may want to get some fancy RPS gear, http://www.worldrps.com/index.php?option=com_wrap
Also, we knoe those who ignore history are doomed to repeat its mistakes, so why dont you read up on the history of the game too, could come in handy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock%2C_paper%2C_sci
Can't we all just get along
Echo's of "QUAD DAMAGE" and "J00 CAMPING SOB" in the Halls of Justice.
I just can't be bothered.
Fortunately, games cannot be owned, under current US IP law. They can be pwned, but that's something altogether different.
https://www.eff.org/https-everywhere
It obviously belongs in Games.
The World Wide Web is dying. Soon, we shall have only the Internet.
I can see it now....
(Digging for Arrowheads)
Pip: OOH! OOH! I think I found one!!
(Cartman has hold of the other end.)
Cartman: No, I found it!
(Cartman and Pip hold the large arrowhead by opposite ends.)
Pip: Oh, I do believe I found it first.
Cartman: No, I did!
Pip: Oh, dear...
Cartman: Well, guess we'll have to Roshambo for it.
Pip: What do you mean?
Cartman: Well, first I kick you in the nuts as hard as I can. Then you kick ME in the nuts as hard as YOU can. And we keep going back and forth until somebody falls. Last one standing gets the arrowhead.
Pip: Oh, my. Well, I suppose if I must...
Cartman: Okay, ready? I'll go first.
(Cartman takes a step and hauls off, kicking Pip square in the balls. Pip immediately turns blue and falls to the ground coughing. Cartman looks pleased. After Pip stops coughing, he finally manages to speak.)
Pip: Well, I guess you win.
Cartman: Oh, I don't care, you can have the stupid arrowhead. I don't want it.
(Cartman tosses the arrowhead down to Pip, who is still lying painfully in the dirt.)
--
That would make court dramas interesting!
Coderz 4 Life
but you forgot one thing. Rock - Crushes - Scissors! -- But, Paper covers Rock, and Scissors cuts Paper! Kiff, we have a conundrum! Search them for Paper, and, bring me a Rock.
Gee - it's no fun when you spill the punchline.... Subtle references are best left unexposed so the inner sanctum can continue to feel superior to and laugh at all those unknowing fools who have yet to master the intricacies of modern cartoons.
So, why don't you just bite my shiny metal ass? Oh wait, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder.
To be fair, that patent was eventually shot down, or so I heard. Basically the USPTO invalidated all of its claims, and then the holder just declined to pay the fees and it expired.
Still, whatever examiner passed it ought to be punished in some sort of humiliating way.
I have heard from a friend who is starting work as a patent examiner that they have totally revamped their recruitment and training programs. Now, instead of going through nominal 'welcome aboard' training and being shoved out onto the floor and told to start processing patents, there's like 8 or 9 months of training, following which you're basically an apprentice to somebody more senior (where they have to approve/rubberstamp your work) for a while.
There still seems to be some obvious issues, like the number of patents you process per day/week influences your promotions, so that there's an indirect reward for pushing more paper, but they do seem to be making some progress.
Still, I wouldn't mind seeing them drag out a Dunce cap for patents like that.
"Ladies and gentlemen, my killbot features Lotus Notes and a machine gun. It is the finest available."
That's a pretty good summary. Some analysis is in order, though: it seems to me that the purpose of this ruling is not so much to settle the argument as to publically censure the two opposing counsel for failure to achieve adulthood.
Alternatively, this bit probably applies best to lawyers:
But if the other side will rationally choose scissors, then the sensible course of action is to throw rock.
But if the other side reasons the same way, then obviously you'll have to play paper.
Either way, never get involved in a land war in Asia.
I swear that when I saw the headline I was thinking "Real Person Shooter" !!!
R typically stands for real in these cases, and not being familiar with rock as a choice, I figured they were going to duel. I like that we can sometimes take the justice system back a few hundred years every now and then. Maybe they should just tie up both parties and throw them into a body of water - whoever lives obviously is wrong!
Get your Unix fortune now!