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Scientists Respond to Gore on Global Warming
ArthurDent writes "For quite a while global warming has been presented in the public forum as a universally accepted scientific reality. However, in the light of Al Gore's new film An Inconvenient Truth many climate experts are stepping forward and pointing out that there is no conclusive evidence to support global warming as a phenomenon, much less any particular cause of it."
Announcer:
... Live From New York, its Saturday Night!
And now, a message from the President of the United States.
President Al Gore:
Good evening, my fellow Americans.
In 2000 when you overwhelmingly made the decision to elect me as your 43rd president, I knew the road ahead would be difficult. We have accomplished so much yet challenges lie ahead.
In the last 6 years we have been able to stop global warming. No one could have predicted the negative results of this. Glaciers that once were melting are now on the attack.
As you know, these renegade glaciers have already captured parts of upper Michigan and northern Maine, but I assure you: we will not let the glaciers win.
Right now, in the 2nd week of May 2006, we are facing perhaps the worst gas crisis in history.
We have way too much gasoline. Gas is down to $0.19 a gallon and the oil companies are hurting.
I know that I am partly to blame by insisting that cars run on trash.
I am therefore proposing a federal bailout to our oil companies because - hey if it were the other way around, you know the oil companies would help us.
On a positive note, we worked hard to save Welfare, fix Social Security and of course provide the free universal health care we all enjoy today.
But all this came at a high cost. As I speak, the gigantic national budget surplus is down to a perilously low $11 trillion dollars.
And don't get any ideas. That money is staying in the very successful lockbox. We're not touching it.
Of course, we could give economic aid to China, or lend money to the Saudis... again.
But right now we're already so loved by everyone in the world that American tourists can't even go over to Europe anymore... without getting hugged.
There are some of you that want to spend our money on some made-up war. To you I say: what part of "lockbox" don't you understand?
What if there's a hurricane or a tornado? Unlikely I know because of the Anti-Hurricane and Tornado Machine I was instrumental in helping to develop.
But... what if? What if the scientists are right and one of those giant glaciers hits Boston? That's why we have the lockbox!
As for immigration, solving that came at a heavy cost, and I personally regret the loss of California. However, the new Mexifornian economy is strong and el Presidente Schwarznegger is doing a great job.
There have been some setbacks. Unfortunately, the confirmation process for Supreme Court Justice Michael Moore was bitter and devisive. However, I could not be more proud of how the House and Senate pulled together to confirm the nomination of Chief Justice George Clooney.
Baseball, our national passtime, still lies under the shadow of steroid accusations. But I have faith in baseball commissioner George W. Bush when he says, "We will find the steroid users if we have to tap every phone in America!"
In 2001 when I came into office, our national security was the most important issue. The threat of terrorism was real.
Who knew that six years later, Afghanistan would be the most popular Spring Break destination? Or that Six Flags Tehran is the fastest growing amusement park in the Middle East?
And the scariest thing we Americans have to fear is
It could be worse, it could be Monday.
... is that it inspired one of the worst novels I've ever read, Michael Crichton's State of Fear.
If you mod me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
Strangely enough this is from a website that is sporting anti-bush t-shirts, buttons, and bumper stickers
Wait a minute, are you telling me someone can be for truth and against Bush?! We'll see what Bill O'reilly has to say about that!
And that left-right column justification is AWFUL! It must be a pack of lies!
>an embarrassment to US science
As opposed to world science?
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_And_ I hope we don't do anything about it.
Just so we can get rid of Florida. Serve them right for 2000...
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... is that it inspired one of the worst novels I've ever read, Michael Crichton's State of Fear.
I guess you didn't read Prey.
-h-
"In this envelope I have the research that PROVES this so-called 'global warming' effect is not an unusual phenomenon to the Earth. Here, I'll read some excerpts- Hm, a stack of $100 bills. Guess I brought the wrong envelope..."
Yes, we understand these tags always apply: fud, dupe, typo, slashdotted, topic name
The book was pretty awful, but it did raise good points (and pound the reader over the head with them).
Okay. Now prove that it's not part of a natural periodic waxing and waning of the global temperature.
Prove that it's not part of a recovery from the little ice age.
Do you think that the cavemen at the end of the ice ages worried about global warming? Looking back, that would have been stupid. Come to think of it, maybe they were worried about it, and the cave-environmentalists won. When they detected the massive upswing in the global temp, they scrapped all their industry and went back to living off the land. That's probably why our technology is millions of years behind all those aliens we see on TV. Mankind has people like you to blame for our lack of anti-gravity, intergalactic travel, and realistic sexbots.
The earth isn't round it is a oblate spheroid. Get with the times.
Why would AL GORE be an embarassment to scientists NOT in the U.S.? If they don't agree, they just point and say "silly Americans!".
"Yes they do. They have to point to flaws and holes in the current theory, otherwise they're just gasbagging."
And if they're gasbagging, then they are just spewing hot air, which contributes to global warming. Therefore, if those opposed to the global warming theory (that man is responsible) aren't pointing to flaws and holes, then they are contributing to the problem they oppose by increasing global warmth. A bit circular, but fun to write nonetheless.
What those who want activist courts fear is rule by the people.
Shhh, before he takes the internet away!
"The past was erased, the erasure was forgotten, the lie became truth." ~1984 George Orwell
This was actually a result of an unrelated phenomenon (which I will call "the Skyshadow Effect" over and over again until people start calling it that). It's somewhat technical, but it essentially breaks down to a simple fact: The past was cold.
This is actually pretty obvious once you consider the evidence: Any time you complained to your dad as a kid about how cold it was in the house, he would respond by telling you about how cold it was when he was a kid, right? Blizzards, snow dozens of feet deep, etc. Try complaining to a grandparent, and the stories were even worse -- my grandpa Harry used to have to deal with wooly mammoths as he walked 203 miles to work each morning at 3:30 AM in Milwaukee*.
Carrying out a few simple calculations based on the Skyshadow Effect, we see that 450 million years ago must have been really cold. To give you an idea of what we're talking about, noon at the equator must have been nearly as cold as the inside of your car in the morning in January when the steering wheel is so cold it hurts through your gloves to grip. It was only this hugely increased amount of greenhouse gasses in the atmosphere that allowed life on earth to continue -- any colder and it would have just sat inside with a mug of hot chocolate watching reruns of I Love Lucy.
* This is, of course, related to the supporting theories about how the past was (1) earlier in the day and (2) farther apart than in modern times, but as this is not strictly relevant to this discussion we'll leave it be for now.
Every year during my review, I just pray the words "slashdot.org" aren't mentioned.
This is about the US climate, not the world climate.
I'm sure you've heard that we can use carbon nanotubes to build a space elevator. That's just one thin ribbon going up to space. We can build it wider, all the way around the US, so that we don't have to share our tropical climate with places like Sweden (go bork yourself) and North Korea.
We'll probably split the Atlantic down the middle and go two thirds the way across the Pacific. As a bonus, I think there will be at least a 50% drop in Mexicans climbing over the border.
-1, Idiot.
10) Drive Hummer, get laid
11) Your high reproductive rate increases the probability your progeny rule the world after the coming die-off
Except most of us are hoping not to go extinct. Tell a dinosaur that the eventual extinction of its species is a good thing and it'll bite your head off! Or whack you with its tail, or headbutt you, or do some other dinosaury thing. Shriek at you: "Skreeeeee!"
Aw... it was not until I was 3/4 of the way through your comment that I realized "GW" stood for "Global Warming" and not our president. I was getting pretty excited thinking that he might not exist, or at least that people were arguing how to blame Katrina on him. Hmph.
And actually, O'Reilly is on Gore's side on this. [cue the bizarro world music]
The earth isn't round it is a oblate spheroid.
I had one of those one time. The Dr took care of it though.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one the bus load of girls just went down.
Because we know the Dinosaurs SUVs had to be HUGE
Watch for Penguins, they eat Apples and throw rocks at Windows.