Ladies and Gentlemen, the Electronic Toilet

BlueCup writes "The bathroom has been one of the few places people frequent where digital technology hasn't taken over. Most people use toilets more often than iPods, yet the humble American commode has remained as low tech as things get, essentially a combination of pipes, levers and flaps. Computers are now invading the bathroom. For several years, manufacturers have been quietly pushing toilets and toilet seats costing $1,000 or more that use small, built-in computers and remote controls to add new features that warm, wash and dry you. As bathrooms become more upscale and luxurious, a digital toilet fits right in."

Comments

Asinine

[BWJones]

Jeeeez, talk about flushing money down the drain....... :-)

Seriously though, there are some things whose design has absolutely been optimized to a point where it would take a revolution in technology to make any changes worth while. Think about things like the doorknob, or a book, or a toilet seat, which arguably has been around since Roman times. Now you might say that technology has allowed an evolution of sorts in each of these examples, and that is true (mass production for the doorknob, printing presses, computer fonts and the Macintosh for books, and polymers for toilet seats), but each of these items works fundamentally the same as they have for hundreds of years such that a person from a hundred years ago could still recognize and interface with the device.

Putting a computer on/in a toilet seat is...... *dare I say it?*....... asinine.

Re:Asinine

[clockwise_music]

>Most people use toilets more often than iPods.

No shit.

Sorry.

Re:Asinine

[aiken_d]

I tend to agree with you. But then again, I'm sure that plenty of people said exactly the same thing when indoor plumbing replaced outhouses.

-b

Re:Asinine

[TubeSteak]

but each of these items works fundamentally the same as they have for hundreds of years such that a person from a hundred years ago could still recognize and interface with the device.

Have you ever read The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck?
It was written in 1939, but set in the 1920's.

The Joad kids lived on a farm all their life and have never seen a 'real' toilet and when they flush one, they actually thought they broke it. Steinbeck wasn't dramatizing anything, people in the 1920's (and even today) have never seen a flush toilet or any of the other marvels of technology that we take for granted.

That said, I'd pay extra for a heated toilet seat, even without the retractable bidet and ass blow dryer. IMHO, that is more than an incremental improvement.

Re:Asinine

[Pseudonym]

Perhaps more to the point, a toilet is the classic example of something that is mission critical. Sometimes safety critical, I'd suppose. It has to work under all sorts of conditions (e.g. power outage/flat battery) where it's not a huge deal if other devices like the iPod don't work.

The simplicity of a toilet is one of its strengths. Less can go wrong because there's less to go wrong.

Re:Asinine

[Danga]

I see your redback and raise you a redneck... actually, I'm gonna raise a hundred rednecks, yargh har! My own redneck zombie army!!!

wouldn't that be the KKK?

Re:Asinine

[Anonymous Coward]

*New* digital technology?? I don't get it. I've been doing number 1's and 10's for years.

Moo

[Chacham]

And the warm water, once we got the temperature right, was also a luxurious twist on the normal bathroom experience.

The bathroom experience?

I'd rather see Larson's idea of a big light over public bathroom doors: "Didn't wash hands!"

Re:Moo

[megaditto]

Don't underestimate the importance of the restroom experience. How about this:
-a moistened TP dispencer (for when the 'roids start acting up) w/ antiseptic
-armrests and an executive leather ergonomic backrest
-a webcam with a UV spotlight to examine for traces of fecal matter (battle the 'klingons')
-a penile/scrotal 'cupholder' (hate when 'it' touches the cold porcelain)
-a control to adjust seat angle and elevation
-negative-pressure air exhaust for the toiletbowl (why do I have to smell it?)
-surround sound and dimmer lights (pooping in the dark could be a wild adventure (This Disney's Pirate Cave boatride!))
-neon pool lighting (aesthetically pleasing fishbowl; combine with dimmer lights et webcam)
-a timer/bestOf scoreboard!
-a shotgun rack and a Peltier beer cooler (hate the compressor fridge noise).
-stall doors that freaking go all the way to the floor!

Re:Moo

[Animaether]

- you can already get moistened TP dispensers. There's one problem with these - they're expensive. I'd rather see that more places (restaurants, etc.) start using the toilet seat cover dispensers as found in any airport (well, not Schiphol - where they want you to wet some toilet paper and scrub.. arguably better) and airplane

- armrests? aren't you supposed to hold part of your body, at least if you're male, to make sure you're not just going to flop all over the place with that thing? And what when you want to wipe your ass? Just for kicks, try making that motion while seater in your chair with armrests. And a leather backrest? Would that be built into the toilet lid? If so - how do you handle flushing with the lid closed? ( presuming you flush with the lid closed - unless you love the spray of course )

- klingons / dingleberries? if you miss one of those, you probably didn't wipe well enough - do you really need a webcam to see where you need to wipe some more? Scary. You're never going to get it 100% clean.. if you could, you wouldn't have a particular need change underwear every day. Fact is, you're going to leak more pee than you'll have to worry about with poo.

- penile/scrotal cupholder just sounds like an STD-spreading device. The solution to not having your penis or scrotum hit the porcelain is to get a decent bowl - sounds like the one you've dealt with/are dealing with is far too shallow. Either that or you're just very, very well-endowed; congratulations ;)

- seat angle and elevation.. now this one I can get into, but mostly due to the fact that the elderly can't sit all the way down on typical toilet seats easily - so you can get taller ones for them. While at the same time, what parent hasn't had to hoist their kid up onto the toilet? Now if you could make it alter elevation, that would indeed be cool. It'd also be a bit more difficult to manage with regards to flushing-as-we-know-it, though

- you don't have to smell the toilet, typically.. unless you live in Europe and still have an older style bowl where your faecal matter just rests in a small puddle before getting flushed ('observation deck' bowls), you'll have one where all that stuff goes into a deep body of water where no odor can escape. Presumably you'd also have some manner of perfumed flush block thingy in there to keep whatever diluted smell of urine covered.

the remainder of the list is just getting silly.. why no HD TV? fold-out laptop with broadband internet? make the seat double as a massage chair and shoepolish station! Let's leave it at it being a restroom, please :)

That said, there have been advances even in recent decades as far as the toilet seat goes. e.g. from the 'observation deck' style to the deep bowl style, and from a regular gravity-does-it-all flush to a gravity+jet-flush, from one-flush-fits-all to the water conserving dual-flush-capacity tanks, etc. Maybe they're nowhere near as cool as an elevation-controllable toilet, but they're worthy progressions nevertheless.

Re:Moo

[DJPenguin]

Congratulations - you are now officially slashdot's leading toilet expert :)

WTF?

[BrokenHalo]

Most people use toilets more often than iPods

I can't remember the last time my iPod used the toilet...

Power outages

[UbuntuDupe]

Back in May where I live, there was a severe storm that knocked out power for, depending on where you live, 12-72 hours. Being without power in the black of night with rain pounding on my windows and having to navigate with a flashlight made me realize how thankful I am that the toilet DOES NOT depend on electricity.

Please folks, make sure the technology makes you better off than before.

Re:Power outages

[TigerPaw]

Being without power in the black of night with rain pounding on my windows and having to navigate with a flashlight made me realize how thankful I am that the toilet DOES NOT depend on electricity.

And when lights came on, you realized that it wasn't the toiletseat you were sitting on...

Japan?

[Anonymous Coward]

I was just in Tokyo and all the toilets in nice places are heated and (you have the option to) squirt warm water up your crack... Not news.

Broadband.

[EnsilZah]

Get your broadband enabled toilets today for a quicker download.

This isn't new

[bblboy54]

I've had webcams in bathr.....
Nevermind, nothing to see here.

Korean Toilets

[localman]

First off, a warning: this post may have too much information. That said...

Anyone here ever use one of those toilets with the built in ass washer? I visited Seoul a few years back and stayed with in-laws. Their toilet had a little control panel with various symbols on it for male, female, water, wind (no earth or fire, thankfully). I feared it for most of my visit, and never tried it out. Eventually though curiousity got the better of me and i pressed a button after I was done (male water). It made few little mechanical sounds and then a tiny sprayer started shooting warm water into my ass crack. It was so ticklish that I just about jumped off the seat; fumbling around with the controls to get it to stop. Eventually I succeeded, but man that was weird. Despite any potential improvement in hygene, I can't handle the ass tickling fountain thing. But hey, I say try it out sometime if you have the chance.

Cheers.

Re:Korean Toilets

[Patrik_AKA_RedX]

The female option could have the ATR* function. That could be very painful for the male user.

*Automatic Tampon Remover.

Listen up, people

[Anonymous Crowhead]

If your defecation is so out of control that you need a $1000 toilet to help stay "fresh", then maybe you should address your diet. If everytime you have a sit down you end up with explosive shit-chunks plastered all over you nether regions, then SOMETHING IS WRONG. If you need a computer-assisted washdown, you are a sick animal. You need to get your fat ass out of the Taco Bell line and down to the produce aisle of your local grocery store, stat.

This bidet garbage was invented when contaminated water gave everyone a daily dose of the runs. You should not need it today. If you do, you are unhealthy.

Re:Listen up, people

[kraada]

I suffer from Crohn's Disease, along with approximately half a million other Americans. To summarize: Crohn's is an autoimmune disease of the digestive tract which causes inflammation in various places. When you have inflammation in your intestines, that part of the intestine cannot reabsorb liquid.

I don't have a bad case. But there are some horror stories out there: people who have to go 10-20 times a day, people who end up needing permanent ileostomies (a surgical bypass of the end of the intestines), etc.

Even with my relatively mild case, I have to take three Sitz Baths a day, two showers a day, and cleaning up after I go is not fun on top of that.

This toilet seat? Sounds like it would be fantastic for me and others like me. It could probably save me 20 minutes a day, at least. If my health insurance covered it, or I could afford the thing, I'd buy one tomorrow. Seriously.

And one in 350 people in America have this problem along with me. And the numbers are rising. (The disease was unheard of pre-20th Century -- not from lack of diagnostic methods, from lack of existing. There's a growth curve that is followed in developing countries; a Crohn's specialist I spoke to said that there are varioius studies underway to figure out what parts of our diet changed enough to create such an outbreak -- he hinted at processed sugar being a leading candidate. Unfortunately I lack a citation here, but the head of the Crohn's & Colitis center at Mass General seems like a pretty good source to me.)

I can see these things selling very, very well if they can bring the price point down just a tad, or convince health insurance to cover it for people in scenarios like mine (even partially).

So, yeah, I'm unhealthy -- but it's not my fault, and one of these things could make quite a difference.

Re:Listen up, people

[TheDugong]

"use phones and keyboards that are used by others, but have yet to touch a stranger's bare butt" Well, this is slashdot after all.

Re:Listen up, people

[morie]

not sure you've got the concept of conception down...

Re:Hold on, I'm expecting a fax....

[westlake]

Seriously, are we THAT dependent? I mean, no offense, but I dont feel a need to have a remote control to wipe my ass.

We grow older. In time even the simplest of things become more difficult. The paperless, self-cleaning, toilet begins to look pretty good when the alternative is "assisted living" or nursing home care.

Re:Go ahead

[Patrik_AKA_RedX]

You're asuming your toilet wouldn't be right in the center of the explosion. I mean if I would attack your country, the first thing I'd do is a full out asssault on every toilet. Then food drops followed by food-with-laxative drops. All that is left then is to wait until every soldier blows up because of the need and inability to go. Then the survivers get to clean the whole mess up in exchange for toilet priveledges. Trust me, they'll be very eager at this point.
All that then is left is a nation wide Wash-Your-Hands-Campagne.

I see them all the time in Tokyo

[rhythmx]

I moved to Tokyo on business a few months ago, and (to my surprise) there were electronic controls on all the toilets in the office. Features include:

• deoderant fan
• bidet on/off
• bidet aim
• water pressure
• seat warmers

I've come to find that these are actually quite common here too.. see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilets_in_Japan