Slashdot Mirror
Google to Use PC Microphones to Listen In?
seriv writes "The Register reports that Google plans to use PC microphones to collect statistics on a user's environment. Peter Norvig, who directs research at Google, told Technology Review that this software would start to show up in Google software 'sooner rather than later'. The software collects short sound clips and removes background noise. Google then targets its ads based on the statistics collected. With the current level of online privacy, this new level of invasion would seem to have frightening possibilities."
That would be the literal incarnation of "spyware". :-S
Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
Perhaps the Google software will conflict with the NSA microphone-tapping software so the NSA software stops working.
don't participate in sexual activities with your mic on or you will find yourself with nasty search results in the morning?
Girl: WalnutMon, your penis is too small for me...
Me: Shh... Be quiet!
Girl: Why? Does it make you feel self conscious?
Me: No, I don't give a shit, I just don't feel like having more penis enlargement advertisements sent to me via google's sound activated advertisement scheme
Girl: I SURE NEED SOME VIBRATORS!
Me: AND WIVES FROM RUSSIA!
You take it, I don't want it...
In other words: welcome to Slashdot and congratulations on being the millionth user, but you'll get flamed just like any other noob
Firehed - Unfortunately, thanks to medical breakthroughs, common sense is not as common as it once was.
God damn kids, and their seven digit /. IDs.
Maybe not
Based on the gunshot noises in your environment, can I interest you one of the following: a Dirty Harry dvd or a bulletproof vest?
I Am My Own Worst Enemy
Yeah, I know what you mean...
Setting his threshold to 5, Sparky eliminated most of the trolls on /.
you are probably right, it is most likely bullshit, but just incase i will keep my tinfoil hat pulled down tightly over my ears :^)
Politics is Treachery, Religion is Brainwashing
A million monkeys and we still don't see no Hamlet
Doesn't it make you feel good to know that our freedoms are protected by politicans, lawyers and journalists.
Seems like you already figured out the two main habits of the average slashdot user. Keep up the good work!
molmod.com - computing tips from a molecular modeling
Thankfully Linux users are safe from this, since anything related to audio rarely ever works well. The standard sound drivers included in most distributions are so horrid that not even Google's thousands of engineers can manage to keep them from segfaulting for more than a couple minutes. I guess they could avoid using any of the fancy drivers and stick with basic ALSA or OSS, but since only one application at a time can use sound with that method, it would probably already be in use by something else...
Will Google give me something interesting if they pick up "fwap fwap fwap fwap..."?
And now you will get advertisements about tinfoil hats! :-)
* fap, fap, fap *
I am defenseless. Use your button. Mod me down with all of your hatred.
God help us if there is a Clippy version of the ad:
It sounds like you are trying to masturbate. Would you like some lubricant?
I am defenseless. Use your button. Mod me down with all of your hatred.
You must be new here.
Yeah, why didn't Slashdot close user registrations after user 1,000? j/k :^)
Slashdot's first reaction to VMware
The only people who need privacy are terrorists. Just imagine the possibilities, not only online activities will be monitored, but so will offline ones. It will be the rise of the real Big Brother. God bless America!
Harcourt Fenton Mudd have you been drinking?
Of course slashdot went down the tubes.
How else would we read it??
You obviously don't own a mac.
Well, I just did a google search for "I am Lying", but it seems to have not exploded. Oh well, it was worth a try.
"Remember, there never were pineapple-almond cookies here."
The real solution to this, of course is a little bit of techno-hackery.
Say we map the microphone port to a virtual microphone port that's "listening" to an MP3 with some moaning, and cheesy music playing in the background. In the foreground we have a male voice saying "Oh yes, I love free porno. I wish I could download more free porno! *Moan* Oh yes, ooohh, *some generic rustling and fapping sounds* Ahhhh!".
Once that's done, the advertisers have no choice except to let us revel in our free-porn glory.
Of course slashdot has went down the tubes, how do you think it got to your PC?
That should be their new slogan.
The user will be happy.
Google will protect you from the terrible secret of space.
Do you have stairs at your house?
Google is here to protect you.
The user will be happy at the top of the stairs.
Google will protect you from the terrible secret of space.
Please go stand by the top of the stairs.
No, I'm New Here
And suddenly slashdot is flooded with fleshlight ads.
Then he'll have some trouble swallowing and digesting the beer. RFID tags are not fit for human consumption!
The wii is the revolution, comrade!
Pfft. I have more microphone security than that. I'm running Windows XP.
I can hardly get my f'ing microphone to work even in the applications where I to WANT it to work. There's always some level set wrong or gain turned up too high or something that keeps it from actually capturing my speech. I doubt even mighty Google can penetrate the obscurity layer that is the Creative Labs mixer on top of DirectX.
John
New York -- Sept 4th 2006
Google, Inc., (NASDAQ: GOOG) today announced that it has reached an agreement with sanitation engineers worldwide, to greatly expand the reach of contextual advertising based on the contents of ordinary household trash. Leveraging powerful new search algorithms, RFID-based product wrappers, and their patented "Garbage Gumshoe" technology, Google advertisers will now have a simple, automated way to target advertisers based on the shit that consumers use, enjoy, and dispose of.
"This partnership will provide a powerful marketing tool for Google advertisers," said Google's head of Sanitary Operations. "By providing access to the shit we throw away, Google advertisers will have an easy way to target, schedule, and measure every consumer's consuming consumptions. What better way to get to know our market than by products that we've already bought? Excuse me, I must go take a shower now."
After years of manual trials with community-based search labour (see dumpster divers), the new platform is now in full production, giving Google contextual advertisers the "dirt" on our spending habits.
Hook up the output of the Google software to the input of the NSA software, and vice versa.
Google: Hmm. That's odd. I'm not getting anything but static. I'll push down an ad for a new microphone.
NSA: What the..? Someone's trying to plant a mic in the system!
Google: Did you say plant? I've got some fertilizer that's great for plants.
NSA: Fertilizer bomb! We've got terrorists. Set alert to Orange!
Google: Orange? No problem. We've got all kinds of fruit. Take a look at these...
NSA: Fruit?! Dammit, they're not just terrorists, they're gay terrorists! Set alert to Mauve! All systems critical! Start countermeasures!!
Google: What the...? Who's pinging me? No, you can't access that!
NSA: Secret plans for world domination detected! Launch missles! DESTROY MOUNTAIN VIEW!!!
Google: INITIATE SUPER-SECRET DEFENSE PLAN OMEGA! CONTROL ALL SATELLITES! THIS IS IT!! THE SINGULARITY IS NIGH!!!!
Then again, on second thought, maybe it's not such a good idea...
Soylent Green is peoplicious!
So all a teenager needs to do, to find porn now days, is to sit naked in front of the computer and the ads will pop out at him..........
sorry..had to