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Virginia Spammers Go To Jail, And Pay For It
An anonymous reader writes "A Virginia appeals court has upheld the first felony conviction under a state anti-spam law. In the process, the court also suggested that spam recipients might be able to sue spammers for money damages. According to the court, taxing a person's servers with unwanted e-mails is a form of trespass, little different than intruding on their land or making unwanted use of their private property. Perhaps because of this decision, spammers will soon find themselves on the receiving end of a million dollar class action suit."
God, how many years will the "You've got Mail" voice actor get?
Would be to have the spammers make and eat spam (the meat) all day while the prison guards sing about the joys of spam.
taxing a person's servers with unwanted e-mails is a form of trespass
Does this mean if I receive spam from him, I'm legally allowed to shoot him?
but if I sued someone like that, I wouldn't want to sue for money. Since the crime is spam, I wanna sue for meat. Let me bring in a knife or sword for the verdit if I'm successful, I'll carry out the sentance for free... I think the digits will do nicely (and prevent more spam)
34486853790
Connection too slow for X forwarding? Try "ssh -CX user@host"
I read the title as "Virgin Spammers". Well, not for long! Brown wings ahoy!
. . . All actions one can perform will land you in jail. Also, even those actions that you do not perform you will pay a fine or fee of some sort for.
Really... I never knew it until I moved here!
Man, that just makes me feel unpopular. Even telemarketers don't like me.
I for one am in favor of the death penalty for anyone who sends me an e-card with a big-headed cat and a song composed entirely of 'meows'. I'm coming for you, Aunt Jane.
Murderer: What you in for, boy?
Spammer: Uh... I... I, uh... sent people spam emails... lots of 'em...
Murderer: That make you feel tough, boy?
Spammer: Oh no... no... not at all... got pretty rich though...
Murderer: That so? Well, Daddy's gonna make you his pretty little rich boy... [resting arm on Spammer's shoulder and winking]
Spammer: Guard!!!! Help!!!!!!!
GetOuttaMySpace - The Anti-Social Network
...just talk dirty to them. Ask them what they are wearing. If it's a girl, ask if she is wearing tights and whether she is menstrating just now. They won't be phoning you back ever again and it's not an obscene call as they dialed you. Everybody wins!!
Another classic would be a three-way call, though I've never done this with an incoming sales call. Simply put them through to the customer service desk of one of their competitors. Sit back and laugh as they argue with each other.
Other people suggested get an answerphone. That's just not practical for most people. If the volume of sales calls grows over the volume of personal ones then it might be worth it. But I don't want to spend the rest of my days listening to short "could you call me back?" messages from friends. If I'm going to be doing their tech support they might as well be paying for the call! ;-)
In a perfect world... spammers would get caught, go to jail, and share a cell with many men who have enlarged their penisses, taken Viagra and are looking for a new relationship.
We're getting there.
Judgement against spammers Sergey Popovich, Kiev, Georgia and Chi Xiangjung, Nanking, PRC. For 1,000,000,000 $. Awarded by Virginia Commonwealth Supreme Court. Buy-now price 5$. Opening bid 1 cent.
Also you will get emails like this:
Allow me to please introduce myself. I am Michael Dewy of Dewy, Chetham and Howe, attorneys at law, Richmond, VA. I have recently won a judgement for 1 billion dollars against two spammers in Taiwan. This is my proposal to you. Please advance me the money needed to finance an expedition collect the said sum from Taiwan and we can share the proceeds 25% to me and 75% to you.
sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
I though in Texas you could shoot anybody, anywhere, for any reason. Isn't that why people live in Texas??
"But this one goes to 11!"
--insert random text from random book--
Take it to the limit, everybody to the limit, come on, everybody fhqwhgads.
No you can't shoot anybody for any reason, but you can get married without realizing it!
Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds