Slashdot Mirror
Robot Identifies Human Flesh As Bacon
Jearil writes "Wired's 'Table of Malcontents' blog links to an article about a wine-tasting robot that thinks humans taste like bacon. The Japanese robot is intended to act as a personal sommelier, suggesting wines, cheeses, and hors d'oeuvres based on its owners personal tastes. It also apparently thinks humans would be tasty as part of a sandwich." From the article: "Let the robot holocaust commence: robots think we taste like bacon ... Upon being given a sample, he will speak up in a childlike voice and identify what he has just been fed. The idea is that wineries can tell if a wine is authentic without even opening the bottle, amongst other more obscure uses ... like 'tell me what this strange grayish lump at the back of my freezer is/was.' But when some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot's omnivorous clanking jaw, he was identified as bacon. A cameraman then tried and was identified as prosciutto." This is most distressing.
Bacon flavored soylent green
Politics is Treachery, Religion is Brainwashing
And that's all I'm going to say.
Was he supposed to know what human flesh tastes like? 'Cause once they get the taste, there's no going back!
If brevity is the soul of wit, then how does one explain Twitter?
This is most distressing.
No it's not. It's brilliant. The only thing putting me off cannabalism was a concern I might not like the taste. Best news ever!
http://twitter.com/onion2k
Well, I for one welcome our new human-eating robotic overlords
humans tasted just like chicken. (I haven't summoned the courage to ask my wife what she thinks I taste like.)
Dog is my co-pilot.
Let's just hope these robots are orthodox religious types...
After calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
Note to self: Change chicken-based recipes.
it looks like the Rise of the Machines will take place in the kitchen.
The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
Mmmmm..... Bacon....
What is mankind really? Well, it's just two words put together Mank, and ind.
One thing is certain, the repetitive jokes will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new "I for one welcome..."-joke-setting-up overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted Slashdotter I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground repetitive-joke-comment caves (as if they need it).
Read Pynchon.
Say, they didn't happen to give us that cameraman's name? Where to find him, perhaps? He sounds like the kind of guy I'd love to meat. Er, meet. He sounds like maybe he could use a comforting olive oil bath, and then relax on a bed of mozarella and fresh basil.
They like alcohol. And gambling.
Well at least now we know to pair human flesh with a darker, spicier red like Zinfandel or Shiraz / Syrah.
Phew.
In addition to tasting the male cameraman, a female reporter was smelled. The robot described her as having a pungent fish odor.
Robots don't know it's not bacon!
He should have chosen a Burgundy, which is a fine match for prosciutto, instead of a Chianti.
Life is like a web application. Sometime you need cookies just to get by.
What does robot taste like?
Engineering is the art of compromise.
Only build Jewish robots.
What will the robot say Kevin Bacon tastes like?
Sounds about right. Most cameramen I know (including myself) are just big hams!
"All Your Flesh Are Belong to Us"
Being a savory pork flavor and all, I figured calling tasty human steaks "The Other Other White Meat" would be the perfect catch phrase to start the Marketing kickoff for the North American Human Meat Producers Alliance with. But, then I realized that Africans, Asians and Native Americans would get upset because it's so "white-centric".
See how polarized we've become on the race card?
So I guess we'll just have to play into it.
Humans: The Black, White, Red and Yellow Meat, Taste the Rainbow Next to Your Potatoes
There, I hope you're all happy.
As I once heard... Humans = Eat + Sleep + Play + Work Pigs = Eat + Sleep Substitute and you get: Humans = Pigs + Play + Work Now subtract Play from both sides Humans - Play = Pigs + Work Conclusion: Humans who don't understand how to play are just pigs that know how to work.