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Scientists Find New Painkiller From Saliva
dptalia writes "Scientists have found a new pain killer based on human saliva. Apparently 1 gram of the new drug provides as much pain blocking as 3 grams of morphine. The drug blocks the breakdown of the body's natural pain killing mechanism. Scientists say the molecule is simple and synthesis is expected to be simple."
When the researchers injected a pain-inducing chemical into rats' paws, 1 gram of opiorphin per kilogram of body weight achieved the same painkilling effect as 3 grams of morphine.
Well wouldn't you say anything to make them stop spitting on you?
"No more, yes alright it works I'm not in pain anymore."
Moving out of cuckoo land, I have a twisted ankle after a fall yesterday should I hock a loogie onto it?
liqbase
Just when I'd kicked my morphine habit, now I'm going to get jailed for posession of saliva.
'cos morphine rules !!
I was in hospital one time after an operation and I was on a self administered morhine drip. But it would only give 1mg every 2 minutes (or whatever is the appropriate dose). But the machine also logs how many times you press the button so the staff can see how much pain you think you're in.
So I wouldn't have to count, I pressed the button every time the track changed on my mp3 player. Best hospital visit evar!!!1
I was lying there one time, opened my eyes and the Everquest HUD was there. In the chat window I was being spammed with :
You need to go to the toilet.
You need to go to the toilet.
You need to go to the toilet.
You need to go to the toilet.
Eventually I went and everybody who spoke on the journey, their chat came up in the window.
It was ace.
When they checked the machine they asked me if I was in a lot of pain, I ust said "no I like the morphine" and we all had a laugh. Until they took it off me.
Then they gave me these awful morphine based tablets and they gave me a bad trip so I stopped taking them.
There are places where the networks are not touching,and there are places where they are-Boeing's Lori Gunter
The scientists never think these things through, do they? This is going to create huge problems for school discipline. Now whenever students are caught shooting spit balls at other students they can claim they were just implanting an airborne pain killer delivery system.
"But I was just helping Anne's neck pain..."
Saliva is a painkiller? How come I have toothache then?
http://twitter.com/onion2k
how many people thought that said salvia?
Sorry, it had to be said.
The rats? What about those poor bacteria in the saliva, just being sacrificed so the scientists could make the painkiller? There were probably more bacteria in there, eradicated, than there were humans that ever lived!
== Jez ==
Do you miss Firefox? Try Pale Moon.
I am going to claim saliva addiction and start snogging every good looking girl I see for the rest of the afternoon.
Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
What truth?
There is no dupe
I hate rats. I'll buy a product based on how many more rats they killed during testing then the nearest competitor.
Next up, little rat-like dogs. Can we require medical testing on those?
I'm completely against animal testing on cute little fuzzy bunnies and cool dogs, like golden retrievers. I'm against testing on some monkeys, but others you can go for it - like that little brown bastard that threw feces on me at the zoo. Give him monkey-AIDS.
Also, I never buy bug repellent that has been tested on mosquitoes. The slaughter must stop!
W..w..W - Willy Waterloo washes Warren Wiggins who is washing Waldo Woo.
Easy to synthesize.
Made from saliva.
Well, the "War on Drugs" is about to get interesting. Have you had you mouth drained by a government-approved suction center yet today? "Today the police knocked over another spit house..."
(I know, I know, synthesize means they don't need actual saliva... just trying to be funny.)
W..w..W - Willy Waterloo washes Warren Wiggins who is washing Waldo Woo.
"Scientists say the molecule is simple and synthesis is expected to be simple."
If it weren't for that students of the world could rejoice with a much less embarrassing way to pay for their university fees than sperm donation, they could've spat their way through uni!
Yes, but the dosage of freight train required is a lot bigger.
Why yes we can advance science in other ways!
:)
Just sign these release papers and we'll get the 'advancement' started.
People selfishly swallowing gallons of their own saliva, drinking juices in between just to get their next kick... Oh god, I hope the Republicans take over congress again so they can attack this scourge to society.
Think of the children! Defenseless, even on school yards! We will need to increase the number of police on the streets with packs of flour to stuff into people's mouths to prevent prevent them from getting high.
Or suffocate them with nitrous oxide. Let them go out laughing...
"It ain't a war against drugs.it's a war against personal freedom" --Bill Hicks
As for the small rat-like dogs, I'm afraid they're pretty much worthless even for cruel and inhumane experiments. However, you can still feed them to coyotes. Coyotes are cool dogs like golden retrievers and they eat small rat-like dogs! They go through poodles like I go through popcorn. Yay coyotes! Alligators are no good though. Sure they eat small rat-like dogs and the occasional resident from Florida but they're cold blooded and you know they're trying to bring back the dominance of the dinosaur. I suggest we genetically engineer crocodiles to have warm blood and fur. That'd show them!
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
I can't get the picture out of my mind of a rat being tortured with make up. I picture researchers putting some gastly shade of eye makeup on a female rat and watching to see if she can get a date with a male rat.
I suspect alcohol is involved, which would explain the current ghastly shades of eye makeup available for human women. Don't the researchers realize that after a few cold ones, the male rats could care less about the eye makeup?
.. its that they didn't even BOTHER to call me after that.
learn from yesterday, plan for tomorrow, party tonight
or one out of three ain't bad
Ouch, I hadn't thought that through.
It still might be worth it.
W..w..W - Willy Waterloo washes Warren Wiggins who is washing Waldo Woo.
What if some little kid who doesn't know any better has a toothache, and this poor kid comes across this Slashdot post labeled "Informative" and subsequently thinks that drilling a hole in his aching tooth with his dad's powerdrill is the smartest idea ever? Did you think of this all-too-possible scenario, mods?
Please think of the children.
Oh great, muggers are now gonna hit us over the head and cut our tungues off for drug extraction.
Table-ized A.I.