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Get on the 'Gates for President' Bandwagon

netbuzz writes "Dilbert's Scott Adams kicked off the idea in his November 19th blog post, saying there isn't anything wrong with this country that President Bill Gates couldn't cure in less time than it takes to get a new operating system out the door. Today, the idea is moving forward with a brand-new 'Bill Gates for President' Web site. Adams is also back on the campaign trail, flogging the site and Gates' candidacy." A blog post at Network World includes a lot of eye-rolling about this idea, but neither Adams nor the folks at the 'Gates for President' website seem to be taking this lightly.

30 of 654 comments (clear)

  1. Imagine if ... by Salvance · · Score: 5, Funny

    Geez ... if people thought Dick Cheney was cold and ruthless, wait until they have Bill Gates in charge. Plus, imagine some of the innovations we'd see:

    Pres Gates Day 1: The U.S. needs to become the most innovative country in the world, so I have decided in interest of attaining this goal we will rebuild Washington D.C. ... the new city will be named Capitol 2.0
    Pres Gates Day 365: The Capital 2.0 is running ahead of schedule, I know it's been tough living and working out of trailers, but we should be finished within a year
    Pres Gates Day 700: Due to the new competition from Tokyo's rebuilding operations, we have decided to restart our Capitol 2.0 project, but the delay will be worth it since our new Capitol will be even better than the original one planned
    Pres Gates Day 1000: We have found that the Capitol 2.0 subway system was incompatible with the Capitol 2.0 sewage system, so we will rebuild DC's old subway system and try to make it work within the Capitol 2.0 structure
    Pres Gates on his last day: On my final day in office, I am proud to unveil Capitol 2.0 ... at first you may think it looks just like DC, but we actually repainted all the buildings, and added innovative new parking meters that destroy your car if you try to park in same parking spot more than 3 times.

    --
    Crack - Free with every butt and set of boobs
    1. Re:Imagine if ... by Reverend528 · · Score: 4, Funny
      if people thought Dick Cheney was cold and ruthless, wait until they have Bill Gates in charge.

      Everyone will forget Cheney once vice president Ballmer is in office. He breaks tie votes in the senate... with a chair!

  2. BSoD by Dutchmaan · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Blue State of Death" ?

  3. shock! by joe+155 · · Score: 4, Funny

    "there isn't anything wrong with this country that President Bill Gates couldn't cure in less time than it takes to get a new operating system out the door"

    Have things really got that bad?

    --
    *''I can't believe it's not a hyperlink.''
  4. Top Ten Reasons Bill Gates Would Run for President by transporter_ii · · Score: 4, Funny

    1. He wants to buy an old Cesna, paintit flashy colors, and call it Air Force '95.
    2. He heard that some government agencies were using UNIX.
    3. He wants to get that illegal sports car in SF Bay into the US.
    4. He just thinks it would be neat to be president of two big thingies.
    5. He's hot for Janet Reno.
    6. His ego needs to be inflated.
    7. He lost the key to his mansion, so he needs a new place to live.
    8. He thinks that he can use MS Money to balance the budget.
    9. He feels that Perot just didn't throw enough money at it.
    10. He wants to make Windows '95 the official operating system of the USA.

    Ok, those look kind of dated...but still funny

    On the serious side, I wonder how many people with the power to see into the mysterious future, were tempted to e-mail the editor about a SERIOUS problem with this story!

    Transporter_ii

    --
    Doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, religion destroys spirituality
  5. Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft... by BandwidthHog · · Score: 4, Funny
    Hmmm...I seem to remember that Bill say that he was going to be stepping down as Microsoft CEO in a couple of years...

    You must have heard that a couple of years ago.

    --

    Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
  6. Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft... by HTTP+Error+403+403.9 · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'd rather vote for John Cusack.

    --
    I'm not a Troll, it's reverse psychology.
  7. Qualifications? by BandwidthHog · · Score: 4, Funny

    I’ve been saying for years that we need to stop electing millionaires.

    Careful what ya wish for, I suppose.

    --

    Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
  8. The ultimate application of the Dilbert Principle by archeopterix · · Score: 4, Funny

    Thank you, Scott.

  9. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 3, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  10. Finally! by Cr0w+T.+Trollbot · · Score: 4, Funny
    A politician with the honesty of Bill Clinton, the dashing presence of Michael Dukakis, the sexy charisma of Hubert Humphrey, the commanding stature of Joseph Lieberman, the popularity of Gray Davis, the humble background of John D. Rockefeller, the down-home charm of John Kerry, the electoral experience of Pat Robertson, the honesty of Dan Rostenkowski, and the huge following of Dennis Kucinich!

    Crow T. Trollbot

    1. Re:Finally! by CrashPoint · · Score: 3, Funny
      A politician with the honesty of Bill Clinton, the dashing presence of Michael Dukakis, the sexy charisma of Hubert Humphrey, the commanding stature of Joseph Lieberman, the popularity of Gray Davis, the humble background of John D. Rockefeller, the down-home charm of John Kerry, the electoral experience of Pat Robertson, the honesty of Dan Rostenkowski, and the huge following of Dennis Kucinich!

      And the streamlined verbal economy of Crow T. Trollbot!
  11. Just one question by antifoidulus · · Score: 4, Funny

    Will there be a "Cowboy Neal" option on the ballot?

  12. Re:Remember by DeepHurtn! · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yes, as George W. Bush has clearly demonstrated, the key to success in politics is to be an unsuccessful yet still rich businessman.

  13. Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft... by JDevers · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hell, I think I would rather vote for Joan Cusack...

  14. Re:Expect a ban on open source.. by McFortner · · Score: 5, Funny
    I have seen the future....

    President Gates was quoted as saying regarding the MicroSoft investigation, "Justice Department investigation? What Justice Department investigation?" MicroSoft stock prices climbed 200 points today when Wall Street heard the news.

    In related news, Steve Job's execution as a Enemy of the State is scheduled to go on as planned at 9pm EST. Live, pay-per-view coverage can be found on MSNBC.com.

    --
    Beware of Sales Reps bearing gifts.
  15. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 4, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  16. Re:First day on the Job by drinkypoo · · Score: 4, Funny

    So what does he do for the other 23 hours and 55 minutes?

    --
    "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
  17. I solemnly swear to embrace the Constitution... by Peter+Trepan · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...and extend it...

    --

    Step into a huge movement. Don't Tread In Me.

  18. Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft... by Intron · · Score: 4, Funny

    But Bill Gates wasn't in Predator.

    --
    Intron: the portion of DNA which expresses nothing useful.
  19. Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft... by Jett · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'd rather vote for John Carmack.

  20. Re:The very same things which make us hate M$... by JazzLad · · Score: 5, Funny

    Boy are *you* gonna regret that comment 90 days after he's elected!

    --
    "If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear." - Every fascist, ever
  21. Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft... by TerminalWriter · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'd rather vote for Carnac the Magnificent

  22. Re:Remember by Surt · · Score: 4, Funny

    Indeed, when I look at our president, I remember not to hire from those Universities.

    --
    "Who is the Journal of Quantum Physics going to believe?" --Stephen Hawking
  23. Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft... by Ignominious+Cow+Herd · · Score: 3, Funny

    "I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!!!"

    --
    Lump lingered last in line for brains, and the ones she got were sorta rotten and insane.
  24. Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft... by Pharmboy · · Score: 3, Funny

    In this world, you have only predators and prey. I would always choose to be the predator.

    If he could do for the US what he did for operating systems, then the US would own the whole world, but it would be a crappy place to live and wouldn't work very well.

    --
    Tequila: It's not just for breakfast anymore!
  25. Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft... by Sj0 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Making up words is also very innovatorious. You, sir, are a true innovatoriat.

    --
    It's been a long time.
  26. Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft... by StikyPad · · Score: 5, Funny

    So you're saying nothing would change...

  27. Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft... by mrchaotica · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'd rather vote for Jack Thomps... wait, what the fuck am I saying?!! *shoots self*

    --

    "[Regarding the 'cloud,'] ownership was what made America different than Russia." -- Woz

  28. Re:Uh... by The+Benefactor · · Score: 4, Funny

    I have, I'll get right on it... oh, er, whoops!

    --
    To err is human, to arr is pirate.