Slashdot Mirror
Jack Valenti, Dead at 85
saforrest writes "Jack Valenti, a man whose influence in both Washington and Hollywood was profound, died today at age 85. He first became famous as special assistant to Lyndon Johnson: he can even be seen in the famous photo aboard Air Force One. In 1966, he quit this job to become president of the MPAA, from 1966 to 2004."
I say to you that a stroke is to Jack Valenti as the Boston strangler is to the woman home alone.
RIP, Jack!
I won't believe until it's confirmed!
-Nick
pwned
May Satan put you in a screening room with nothing but heavily blocked and poorly encoded DivX movies playing 24x7xInfinity.
Rest in Peace, sweet prince.
Just use a urinal for a tombstone!
Why did the media leave out the part about someone driving a wooden stake through his heart?
Until I see that footage, I'm not going to believe tha...
(Hold on - someone's at the door.)
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH.....
.torrent?
I'll be sending your wife and children burned copies of my DVD collection to include in your casket. May you be infuriated by them for eternity.
Ads? What ads?
The man's dead, show some respect. Let's have a moment of silence in his honor. Oh... wait, my moment of silence is actually encrypted using DRM that I lost the license key for. I'd reverse engineer it but I don't want to get in trouble...
This sig has been temporarily disconnected or is no longer in service
In an earlier time, Jack Valenti would have been a lord buying favours from the king.
The people would have lived in fear of his insanity.
Thankfully a knight might have challenged Jack and killed him in combat.
In the modern world we just have to wait for old age (or scandel) and hope the next guy to pay off the powers that be will be less effective.
Don't ruin the hope.
How we know is more important than what we know.
Nah, just bury him face down.
By the time he digs all the way to daylight, hell come up just in time to terrorize China’s thriving movie industry.
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
Well, I guess all modern days villains' first request in hell would be "May I read the Slashdot homepage?"
That'd be their final judgement.
Virtual Betting on Facebook for non-geeks.
Oh so you mean aside from a Financial rapist, this guy was also a government sanctioned murderer?
Fucking sweet!!
Silentchris throws another log of karma on the fire.
It wasn't until he got into politics that he turned evil, and after all, didn't we forgive Darth Vader at the end?
... "
"He's more politician than man now, twisted and evil
"Ladies and gentlemen, my killbot features Lotus Notes and a machine gun. It is the finest available."
I just heard some sad news on talk radio - asshole and excessively litigating prick Jack Valenti was found dead in his Washington mansion this morning. There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community will miss him - even if you didn't enjoy his approach to suing anything that moved, there's no denying his contributions to the fat wallet of MPAA members everywhere. Truly an American icon.
"We don't have to celebrate his death..."
Okay, that's it... You're out of the club!
The race isn't always to the swift... but that's the way to bet!
If you don't get an attorney, do you at least get a continental breakfast and a little mint on your pillow? Those civil suites sound like a total ripoff.
He should have been hung as an enemy of our rights as Americans.
He may well have been hung, but I believe you meant hanged...
And in other news, Satan has relocated to Arizona. When asked to comment on the change of venue,
he stated : "There's only enough room for one of us down there, and though I invented Lawyers this guy owns them all."
Service guarantees Citizenship! Questions Guarantee GITMO.... Amerika Uber Alles!
Your piss deserves better.
Makin' money, makin' friends, makin' whoopee and wearin' Depends
Not me. I'm waiting for it to show up on TorrentSpy.
And that, Alanis, is ironic.
The French, back in the day, had a better way of handling people like that.
It was called the Guillotine.
America's problem is we hate the French and did not learn to emulate them in this case.
--- Grow a pair, liberals... stop letting the Republicans bully you!
Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things right now: Jack and shit... and Jack left town.
No sig for now.
Are you seriously lumping Hitler, Castro and Valenti together?
REALLY?
You're right, that's silly, Castro isn't even dead yet...
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
But was he well hung?
"We shall grapple with the ineffable, and see if we may not eff it after all." - Douglas Adams
...smothered in hot grits.
$%*&^*^#^!@!# (CONNECTION LOST)
If you don't want to repeat the past, stop living in it.