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Jack Valenti, Dead at 85
saforrest writes "Jack Valenti, a man whose influence in both Washington and Hollywood was profound, died today at age 85. He first became famous as special assistant to Lyndon Johnson: he can even be seen in the famous photo aboard Air Force One. In 1966, he quit this job to become president of the MPAA, from 1966 to 2004."
I say to you that a stroke is to Jack Valenti as the Boston strangler is to the woman home alone.
RIP, Jack!
pwned
Why did the media leave out the part about someone driving a wooden stake through his heart?
Until I see that footage, I'm not going to believe tha...
(Hold on - someone's at the door.)
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH.....
I'll be sending your wife and children burned copies of my DVD collection to include in your casket. May you be infuriated by them for eternity.
Ads? What ads?
Screening nothing but Adam Sandler movies. After all, he's not there for the entertainment.
John
The man's dead, show some respect. Let's have a moment of silence in his honor. Oh... wait, my moment of silence is actually encrypted using DRM that I lost the license key for. I'd reverse engineer it but I don't want to get in trouble...
This sig has been temporarily disconnected or is no longer in service
In an earlier time, Jack Valenti would have been a lord buying favours from the king.
The people would have lived in fear of his insanity.
Thankfully a knight might have challenged Jack and killed him in combat.
In the modern world we just have to wait for old age (or scandel) and hope the next guy to pay off the powers that be will be less effective.
Don't ruin the hope.
How we know is more important than what we know.
Nah, just bury him face down.
By the time he digs all the way to daylight, hell come up just in time to terrorize China’s thriving movie industry.
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
Well, I guess all modern days villains' first request in hell would be "May I read the Slashdot homepage?"
That'd be their final judgement.
Virtual Betting on Facebook for non-geeks.
Silentchris throws another log of karma on the fire.
It wasn't until he got into politics that he turned evil, and after all, didn't we forgive Darth Vader at the end?
... "
"He's more politician than man now, twisted and evil
"Ladies and gentlemen, my killbot features Lotus Notes and a machine gun. It is the finest available."
"We don't have to celebrate his death..."
Okay, that's it... You're out of the club!
The race isn't always to the swift... but that's the way to bet!
If you don't get an attorney, do you at least get a continental breakfast and a little mint on your pillow? Those civil suites sound like a total ripoff.
He should have been hung as an enemy of our rights as Americans.
He may well have been hung, but I believe you meant hanged...
And in other news, Satan has relocated to Arizona. When asked to comment on the change of venue,
he stated : "There's only enough room for one of us down there, and though I invented Lawyers this guy owns them all."
Service guarantees Citizenship! Questions Guarantee GITMO.... Amerika Uber Alles!
The 100 greatest movies of all time. On DVD. 60 inch plasma TV. Sound system on loan from Heaven. Region 1 DVDs, region 3 player.
Hear recorded Slashdot headlines on your phone! New service beta testing. Just call (248) 434-5508
And that, Alanis, is ironic.
The French, back in the day, had a better way of handling people like that.
It was called the Guillotine.
America's problem is we hate the French and did not learn to emulate them in this case.
--- Grow a pair, liberals... stop letting the Republicans bully you!
Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things right now: Jack and shit... and Jack left town.
No sig for now.
Are you seriously lumping Hitler, Castro and Valenti together?
REALLY?
You're right, that's silly, Castro isn't even dead yet...
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
He's actually been dead for some time. The walking dead. Nothing much is going to change really. His corpse will still rise up every night and feast upon the living. He'll still be an abomination in the eyes of God. He's just taking a little ground rest for a few years. He'll be back worse than ever around 2015.
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
Netcraft confirmed it; they also reliably inform me that, yes, Jack Valenti *could* run Linux.
....Natalie Portman has been implicated in the death and....UMMMMFFF!!!!...
Further reports of Valenti's death are coming in; for reasons that are as yet unclear, he was found naked and petrified in Soviet Russia. When as we all know, old people like Valenti live in South Korea. And.... UUURGH!!!
(Dogtanian is yanked off the stage by several angry mods)
(RIP Dogtanian's karma, 2002 to 2007)
"Slashdot - News and Chat Sites Deviant". (Click "homepage" link above for details).
...smothered in hot grits.
$%*&^*^#^!@!# (CONNECTION LOST)
If you don't want to repeat the past, stop living in it.