Slashdot Mirror
Using Technology to Enhance Humans
Roland Piquepaille writes "It's a well-known fact that technology can improve our lives. For example, we can reach anyone and anywhere with our cellphones. And people who can't walk after an accident now can have smart prosthesis to help them. But what about designing our children on a computer or having a chip inside our brain to answer our email messages? Are we ready for such a future? In 'Robo-quandary,' the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports that many researchers are working on the subject. And as a professor of neuroscience said, "We can grow neurons on silicone plates; we can make the blind see; the deaf hear; we can read minds." So will all we become cyborgs one day?"
"Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better...stronger...faster."
We're all going to die. i intend to deserve it.
Scientists are saying that in the future we will be able to have sex with robots. I tried that once. It was horrible. Right in the middle I had to call tech support.
Valkyrie is about to die! Wizard needs food -- badly!
Wake me up when I can get my eyes shined for a couple packs of Kool menthols.
The Farewell Tour II
...but who plans on being that important to justify being accesable 24/7 via a brain implant?people can wait for me to return a message on the answering machine. Do you mean say you're that important, other people should just wait for you?
True. Personally, I think I'd prefer slashdot if we had to write our posts long hand, and send them in by postal service.
[lonely geek]: Hello? Are you human?
[support]: Yes dearie, I am human...
[lonely geek]: Oh good, I'm speaking with a real techie girl! My LoverBot v6.2 beta just crashed in the middle of some awesome robolovin', and I can't get her rebooted. Can you help me?
[support]: {chewing gum sound} Have you tried plugging her in, givin' her some juice?
[lonely geek]: Oh yes, Lots!! but, for some reason she doesn't respond? Whats's going on???
[support]: ....I mean of the electricity kind...
[lonely geek]: oh yes, that too. But she won't start up!
[support]: haven't you tried readin' the manual?
[lonely geek]: You mean that damn phone book sized thing that came in the box? ...no...
[support]: Well, once you git 'round to readin' it', {chewing gum sound} give us a call, willya? Thanks... [CLICK, dead air...]
[lonely geek]: Noo!! Don't hang up on me, I only want to be carressed... that is all! Sigh, where's that manual?
If you have a problem with that, just go into autistic mode.
Newb.
"Excuse me, sir, your head is shaking. Are you going to answer that?"
Pretty handy for answering incoming calls. However, pretty hard to carry on a live conversation with frothy bubbles spewing forth from your mouth. But, then again, I could always shave with it. I think I'm still undecided on this technology.
I hope, when they die, cartoon characters have to answer for their sins.
Well, I don't know about the next one, but I saw on the 11 o' clock news earlier that the last one is currently listed as being in stable condition.
Try not to take me more seriously than I take myself.
Well, all these years later, I for one, still think this joke is funny... Now imagine the future malware that infects someone's cranial implant with a synthetic experience that makes them experience goatse in a way that is indistinguishable from really being there? or better yet, experience being goatse, bending over by the mirror, feeling the gapingness, and shoving things up there. If firewall tech is anything like it is today, I think I'll pass on the implants. But the possibilities for pushing people over the edge are tantalizing in the cybernetic future.
It's funny to read an article like this after reading how technology makes people drive their cars off a cliff or into a speeding train.
I can imagine the news:
Suzy, 23, said her bionic implants made her drink boiling water until her jaw dropped. "The implant said it's room temperature, and I have absolute trust in my bionic implants".
That scares me no end. I can't imagine that technology having no bad side-effects. No way I'm going to let them use that on me.
-- Cheers!
Just wait until someone decides to think about goatse.cx. See if you still like the hive mind connection then...
His pacemaker is a good example of how people can get "enslaved by technology".
The GP said he uses tech for fun and profit and this is your response? If life after needing a pacemaker doesn't include some fun then help the guy live it up a little, please. Just not with an iPod.