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Ultimate iPhone Review — Will It Blend?

I've been enjoying the Will it Blend videos forever. There's something about a labcoat clad crazy man putting things like marbles and soda cans into a blender and after reducing them to powder, warning you not to breathe in the particles. Well today they ask the ultimate question of the latest over-hyped internet sensation Will the iPhone Blend? Fans of these videos can probably guess the answer... and this story made my morning. I've been waiting for an excuse to link these forever. If you haven't seen these, you're in for a real treat.

38 of 347 comments (clear)

  1. Oh its not so bad by JeanBaptiste · · Score: 5, Funny

    I've been breathing that stuff for a while and nothing has ha *THUD*

    (he wouldn't just type thud, would he?)
    (maybe he was dictating)
    (oh shut up)

    1. Re:Oh its not so bad by dsginter · · Score: 5, Funny

      (he wouldn't just type thud, would he?)

      It is generally accepted that computer crashes, dropped connections and death is represented by the "NO CARRIER" stamp (line noise optional). For example:

      Hey guys - I'm currently installing a nitrous oxide system on my chainsaw and I'm wondering what happens if I turn this mixture adjustment screw^%$#^%%^&

      NO CARRIER


      --
      More
    2. Re:Oh its not so bad by thc69 · · Score: 4, Funny

      King Arthur: [about the inscription on the rock] What does it say, Brother Maynard?
      Brother Maynard: It reads, "Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Aramathia. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the holy grail in the Castle of Aaauuuggghhh...
      King Arthur: What?
      Brother Maynard: "The Castle of Aaaauuuggghhhh"
      Sir Bedevere: What is that?
      Brother Maynard: He must have died while carving it.
      King Arthur: Oh come on!
      Brother Maynard: Well, that's what it says.
      King Arthur: Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't have bothered to carve 'Aaaauuuggghhhh'. He'd just say it.
      Sir Galahad: Maybe he was dictating it.
      King Arthur: Oh shut up!
      Sir Robin: Well does it say anything else?
      Brother Maynard: No, just "Aaaaauuuugggghhh".
      [knights making groaning sounds]
      Sir Bedevere: Do you think he could have mean, 'Camaaaauuuuggghhhh'?
      Sir Galahad: Where's that?
      Sir Bedevere: France, I think.
      Sir Lancelot: Isn't there a Saint "Aaaaavvvveeeesss" in Cornwall?
      King Arthur: No that's Saint "Ives".
      Sir Lancelot: Oh, yes. "Iiiiiivvvveeessss"!
      [All knights saying, "Iiiiiivvvveeessss"]
      Sir Bedevere: Whooooouuuuaaa!
      Sir Lancelot: No no no, it's "Aaaaauuuugggghhhh" from the back of the throat.
      Sir Bedevere: No I mean, "Whoooouuuuaaa!" as in surprise and alarm.
      Sir Lancelot: Oh, you mean like, "AAAHH!"
      Sir Bedevere: Yes, that's it. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

      --
      Procrastination -- because good things come to those who wait.
    3. Re:Oh its not so bad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny
      Truly dedicated /.ers have their browsers hooked up to a dead man's switch, so that if they are incapacitated, they automatically submit whatever is currently in the "Post Comment" field. A sort of "L4st Psot!!1!!," if you will. Here, let me demonstr1-0$%#$I)%^%)#%

      NO CARRIER

  2. Server by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Looks like the server has been blended as well. :)

  3. Re:Spoiler by Evanisincontrol · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's pieces of the iPhone's evil, black heart.

  4. Innovative and Groundbreaking by rueger · · Score: 4, Funny

    Sure the innovative and groundbreaking iPhone will change the face of blending forever. Never before could you blend a full featured implementation of Apple's award winning Safari browser.

  5. Re:Great for kids! by mnmn · · Score: 2, Funny

    Did you get to the section where they blend frogs and gerbils?? ...

    (ok ok, I was only kidding. Stop with that look on your face!)

    --
    "Give orange me give eat orange me eat orange give me eat orange give me you." -Nim Chimpsky
  6. The REAL spoiler by Whiney+Mac+Fanboy · · Score: 4, Funny

    The real spoiler is in the slow motion bit. Listen closely & you can distinctly hear the iphone death cry 'Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan'.

    iPhone. The Shatner of cell phones.

    --
    There are shills on slashdot. Apparently, I'm one of them.
  7. Let me be the first to say... by PlatyPaul · · Score: 1, Funny

    ... that I have never before seen anything so awesome in my entire life.

    Moon landing? Berlin Wall? Not even close.

    Totally... frickin'... sweet.

    --
    Misery loves company. Online misery loves unsuspecting random strangers.
  8. Not that great by LighterShadeOfBlack · · Score: 5, Funny

    My kids and I spent nearly an hour looking at all of these last night. Sam kept exclaiming "That's totally awesome!" Even four year-old Emma enjoyed the blending of the Barbies. You do realise you're going to have to keep your blender under lock and key for the next 12 years right?
    --
    Spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, and stupid comments are intentional.
  9. WM5 Phone by Stevecrox · · Score: 4, Funny

    Do you know I watched this on my Windows Mobile phone and seems to have broken it the video just keeps looping over and over I'm not certain but I think the "happy" midi tune plays every now and again

  10. Re:Sell it on eBay... by TheThiefMaster · · Score: 4, Funny

    I like how it says "Product: iPhone Condition: Used" :)

  11. Re:It always seems to by jimstapleton · · Score: 5, Funny

    As well as being fun, its an amazing ad for the company, everything they but into their blenders ends up as toxic dust!!!

    Yes, because I really want my spaghetti sauce to become toxic dust. I think I'll take a blender that doesn't make everything toxic.

    --
    34486853790
    Connection too slow for X forwarding? Try "ssh -CX user@host"
  12. Re:Spoiler by CaptainPatent · · Score: 4, Funny

    No, it just spews a black cloud of overrated whenever the marketing hype wire in the iphone is severed.

    --
    Well, back to rejecting software patent applications.
  13. Obi Wan: by RicoX9 · · Score: 3, Funny

    I felt a great disturbance in the intertubes, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

  14. Re:It always seems to by jordan314 · · Score: 1, Funny

    Heh it says "Condition: used". I'm sure it's only slightly scratched.

  15. Re:As funny as the videos are.... by cyphercell · · Score: 5, Funny

    After recently purchasing a $85 blender that bit the dust on a box of frozen strawberries, this is just the kind of advertising I appreciate right now.

    --
    Under the influence of Post-Cyberpunk Gonzo Journalism
  16. The ultimate end to this blending thing by paiute · · Score: 4, Funny

    "We found the Holy Grail"

    it blends

    "Cure for cancer"

    blend it

    "Kids, in this cage is the last living mouse lemur on Earth."

    where's that outlet?

    --
    If Slashdot were chemistry it would look like this:Cadaverine
  17. Re:the real Ultimate Review by Bazman · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well that's as maybe, but its the ultimate review for *that* particular iPhone!

    1913 Webster definition of ultimate is rather apropos:

    3. Incapable of further analysis; incapable of further
                division or separation; constituent; elemental; as, an
                ultimate particle; an ultimate constituent of matter.
                [1913 Webster]

  18. Re:It always seems to by Rogerborg · · Score: 5, Funny

    Can they blend one of their own blenders? Wow, meta headrush.

    --
    If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
  19. Re:It always seems to by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Amazingly, the dust still had to be sent to Apple to get the battery out.

  20. $599 smoothie by starbuckr0x · · Score: 2, Funny

    Good god, that's one expensive smoothie! Have to admit, though, it put up a pretty good fight in those first few whacks!

    --
    -50 DKP for lame post!
  21. Re:Spoiler by Penguinisto · · Score: 3, Funny
    ...and here I thought it was just the ashes of all those kittens Apple cremates daily, after using them to make sacrifice to Steve Jobs. They have to hide the remains somewhere (that pile is getting awfully big back behind the Cupertino offices...) What better place to stash kitten ash than in consumer products that seem to be flying off the shelves. It is also well known that kitten ash is a vital component in making sure that LCD screens shine brighter while reducing battery draw. How, you ask? Well, since all kittens are innocent, and their cute little souls remain attached to their earthly remains for some time, the cremated kitten tends to glow quite a bit when in the presence of an electrical field, due to electromagnetic reaction against the lingering kitten soul.

    It's cheaper than the standard backlighting, easier on your battery, environmentally friendly, and is super quiet (except for the occasional barely-discernible "mew!" at startup). Now if it weren't for all those damned moralists out there, I could have one of those 25" LCD's that're augmented by kitten ash that the State Department refuses to import! Sure, color calibration is a bitch (cats are somewhat color-blind), but once it's all set up, you get a peaceful soft glow that is very easy on the wattage.

    (seriously though - I think it's prolly the battery contents, which could be reacting with either a metal or some other subtstance in the iPhone's makeup.).

    (...and yes, I own and use a Mac @ home).

    (...and yes, I have two cats living @ home with me. Whether they fear me or I fear them - I leave up to you to decide).

    /P

    --
    Quo usque tandem abutere, Nimbus, patientia nostra?
  22. Re:It always seems to by Random832 · · Score: 3, Funny

    And in case the PP didn't get it, the iphone ends up as toxic dust because it is made of toxic dry materials. If you just put a piece of wood in, you'd end up with ordinary (not toxic) dust, and if you put spaghetti sauce in you won't end up with any kind of dust unless you use a lot less water than normal people do.

    --
    We've secretly replaced Slashdot with new Folgers Crystals - let's see if it notices.
  23. Fun? by mi · · Score: 4, Funny

    As well as being fun ...

    Fun? I was, actually, rather revolted... It always saddens me, when things break irreparably. I once felt depressed for a week after accidentally dropping an old hard-drive on the floor — it worked before, but broke due to my sloppiness...

    To do this sort of thing on purpose, with a shiny, new (and beautiful!) piece of high-tech electronics is a sin. To enjoy watching it is perverse, in my humble opinion...

    --
    In Soviet Washington the swamp drains you.
  24. Had to be said: by Lars+T. · · Score: 2, Funny

    - I think that voids the warranty.
    - I don't think Apple will replace the battery on that one.
    - So now they are stuck with a 2 year AT&T plan and don't even have an iPhone.

    --

    Lars T.

    To the guy who modded me down from perfect to terrible Karma - Apple haters still suck

  25. Scratches by jbeaupre · · Score: 2, Funny

    They could ask for a refund or replacement claiming the screen scratches too easily.

    --
    The world is made by those who show up for the job.
  26. Re:It always seems to by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    That depends, do they make Klein Blenders?

  27. Re:I don't quite enjoy it so much by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm guessing you're just jealous he blended an iPhone when you don't have one.

  28. Re:Sell it on eBay... by dueyfinster · · Score: 2, Funny

    Maybe Slashdot should be: News for Nerds, Stuff that shatters?

    --
    --- Duey Finster http://www.dueyfinster.com
  29. Re:It always seems to by Mister+Whirly · · Score: 2, Funny

    If that is the case, I would suggest buying spaghetti sauce that doesn't contain any toxins to start with; I hear that really cuts down on the amount of toxic dust produced. Of course the sauces that DO contain concentrated toxins are generally priced much lower than the higher quality ones that contain only food grade ingredients. But it's really up to the consumer if they want to save that extra .50 cents or not...

    --
    "But this one goes to 11!"
  30. Re:Every other sentence by neonmonk · · Score: 2, Funny

    He just told you that so he could 'examine' your prostate. =D

  31. Re:It always seems to by Ambidisastrous · · Score: 5, Funny

    Minor clarification: The fully assembled skyscraper would also be harmful if you inhaled it.

  32. Re:As funny as the videos are.... by The+One+and+Only · · Score: 2, Funny

    And if you DO get them packed in metal, just use a Blendtec blender. Yes, It Blends!

    --
    In Repressive Burma, it's not just your connection that dies. slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=314547&cid=20819199
  33. Re:I don't quite enjoy it so much by nuzak · · Score: 2, Funny

    The stick up your ass: will it blend?

    --
    Done with slashdot, done with nerds, getting a life.
  34. Re:Spoiler by Thing+1 · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's pieces of the iPhone's evil, black heart.
    "Mom, Dad, don't touch that! It's pure evil!"
    --
    I feel fantastic, and I'm still alive.
  35. don't be silly by commodoresloat · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's just kool-aid.