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MS Seeks Patent On Virtual Fuzzy Dice

Posted by kdawson on from the scent-of-virtual-pine-sol dept.

theodp writes "Microsoft just published a patent application for an adaptive heads-up user interface for automobiles. It covers, among other things, virtual fuzzy dice that appear to move with automobile movements."

43 of 173 comments (clear)

  1. Air freshener by mattb112885 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Did they patent a virtual air freshener too? Because I really need one.

  2. Obviousness Criteria by ThosLives · · Score: 4, Informative

    Hopefully this will fail the new obviousness criteria; note that it is still just an application. Basically, they are combining existing technologies in their obvious functionality: methods to change configuration information and display various information to vehicle operators.

    I don't see any innovation here at all; they are combining elements and the result is the expected result for combining those elements.

    --
    "There are a dozen opinions on a matter until you know the truth. Then there is only one." - CS Lewis (paraprhase)
    1. Re:Obviousness Criteria by PinkyDead · · Score: 2, Interesting

      This sucks:

      GM/Ford/BMW (or whoever) patents putting information on the windscreen -- Hmmm useful.

      Microsoft [attempts to] patents putting more information on the windscreen -- WTF?!

      Wasting the patent office's time should be a crime. I wonder could patent a bigger wheel - I'd make a fortune.

      --
      Genesis 1:32 And God typed :wq!
    2. Re:Obviousness Criteria by GIL_Dude · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I'm not sure it would even be that useful if GM/Ford/BWM or whoever did it. It would probably be ad-supported anyway. Can you just imagine?

      Hey, driver - you need new wiper blades. Check out the specials at Pep Boys (tm)! While there, get an oil change!

      I just hope that never comes true!

    3. Re:Obviousness Criteria by conspirator57 · · Score: 3, Interesting

      My dell here does that for me. It's let me know for the past 6 months that my battery "is still working, but nearing the end of its useful life." The same notice provides a handy "come on down to the web dealership..." notice and link to dell's shop. It does this each time the laptop starts. Oh, and the laptop is one year old, so it was six months old when it started this crap.

      --
      "If still these truths be held to be
      Self evident."
      -Edna St. Vincent Millay
    4. Re:Obviousness Criteria by sqldr · · Score: 2, Funny

      Hopefully this will fail the new obviousness criteria

      I, on the other hand, hope that all of microsoft's other patents fail, and this is the only one they're left with in their entire portfolio. Fluffy dice.

      --
      I wrote my first program at the age of six, and I still can't work out how this website works.
    5. Re:Obviousness Criteria by djh101010 · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Oh, and the laptop is one year old, so it was six months old when it started this crap.

      Seems to me, that'd be a great time to call Dell for a warranty replacement of the battery. Make their advertising scheme cost them. "Your app tells me that my battery, which is only 6 months old, is already crap. Send me a new one."
    6. Re:Obviousness Criteria by conspirator57 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      except the battery is fine. There's just some damn bit stuck somewhere that it's reading and setting off this ad/nag ware. My beef, and the GGP's beef is with the ad/nagware. I don't want it there, and I can't find a control panel item or other overt way to disable it, though it hasn't gotten annoying enough to send me registry hacking yet.

      --
      "If still these truths be held to be
      Self evident."
      -Edna St. Vincent Millay
    7. Re:Obviousness Criteria by Phroggy · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Then they can either send you a new battery any, or tell you how to fix it. Or both (if they send you a new battery and that doesn't solve the problem, then they can tell you how to fix it).

      --
      $x='S24;r)>63/* h@<5+oZ)32"5cz';$me='phroggy'x$];
      $x=~y+ -xz+\0-Tx+;print$_^chop$me for split'',$x;
  3. I'll say! by ClayJar · · Score: 5, Funny

    Did they patent a virtual air freshener too? Because I really need one. I'll say. I can virtually smell you from here. :D
  4. I have some... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have some fuzzy dangling things that they can try and patent.

    1. Re:I have some... by CrtxReavr · · Score: 5, Funny

      If you'd wipe better, you wouldn't have so much prior art.

      -CR

      --
      "So is the BSD licence even more 'free' (than GPLv2)? Yes. Unquestionably." --Linus Torvalds (TinyURL.com/2vugzl)
  5. Great by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Just what we need from a heads-up display: something which conveys no useful information and serves only to distract the driver from their main job of keeping the car on the road. This strikes me as a perfect example of the rule that, simply because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.

    1. Re:Great by somersault · · Score: 4, Insightful

      "Simply because you can do something, doesn't mean you should."

      I thought that was one of Microsofts' main beliefs.. simply because they can put out (largely) pointless new versions of Office and Windows, they do. They also charge insane amounts for little extra functionality, just because they can. At least people are catching on a bit with Vista.

      --
      which is totally what she said
    2. Re:Great by slashname3 · · Score: 2, Funny

      The other issue is that we finally get to experience the punch line to that old joke, stopping the car every 100 miles to reboot it.

      And just think of all the accidents when the blue screen of death obscures the entire windshield...

    3. Re:Great by Locutus · · Score: 2, Funny

      Didn't you know that they had promoted the designer of Microsoft BOB to the auto research department?

      LoB

      --
      "Anyone who stands out in the middle of a road looks like roadkill to me." --Linus
  6. What will they patent next... by downix · · Score: 3, Funny

    I can't wait till the virtual dancing hula girl arrives.... She could probably even dance to show you the direction to turn when plugged into your GPS.

    --
    Karma Whoring for Fun and Profit.
    1. Re:What will they patent next... by Andrewkov · · Score: 2, Insightful

      You should patent that before someone from Microsoft reads your post!

    2. Re:What will they patent next... by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 2, Funny

      Virtual bobbing chihuahua head. It detects when someone is tailgating and then, while bobbing up and down, it flips the driver the bird.

      --
      My blog
  7. Wonder if they will assist.. by CIANCHAMBLISS · · Score: 5, Funny

    First Clippy, now Dicey?

  8. Patent Coverage? by OctoberSky · · Score: 2, Funny

    Does this patent cover anything that sways when hung from a virtual car and virtually sways?

    I'm really concerned about the virtual nutsack I have hanging from my virtual trailer hitch on my virtual truck.

  9. Re:queue microsoft crash jokes by mwvdlee · · Score: 5, Funny

    Will there be a GPS-based clippy that gives directions to places you don't want to go?

    --
    Slashdot social media options: AIM, ICQ, Yahoo, Jabber and Mobile Text. Why no MySpace?
  10. Prior art by Kazymyr · · Score: 2, Funny

    I have had fuzzy dice that move with the car movements for as long as I can remember. And it's a mechanical device too, not your fancy digital dice. Now excuse me, I gotta go put holes in some punchcards.

    --
    I hadn't known there were so many idiots in the world until I started using the Internet -Stanislaw Lem
  11. Another driver's distraction! by G4from128k · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Just what the motoring public needs, another source of distraction. I can see it now. People will hack the fuzzy dice to do all sorts of amusing things, notice them while driving, and crash (physically, not in the software sense).

    On the plus side, I would imagine this "feature" will get the device banned under California's no "entertainment" video displays in sight of the driver whilst the car is in motion.

    --
    Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
  12. Distractions by sjaguar · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Okay, if done nicely, I wouldn't mind a heads-up display (HUD). But does the general driving population need more driving distractions? Also, would other drivers be able to see it (say from behind)? Other vehicle's TVs and crap dangling from the rearview mirror always bugs me.

    --
    If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.
  13. Re:queue microsoft crash jokes by somersault · · Score: 2, Informative

    Yeah - you can't use your brakes until you answer his questions.

    The questions use Microsoft's excellect speech recognition technology :) ( http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-112322121 7782777472 )

    --
    which is totally what she said
  14. Virtual.... by JeremyGNJ · · Score: 2, Funny

    I cant wait to get one so I can have...

    My own....
    Virtual......
    Jesus

    1. Re:Virtual.... by Zordok · · Score: 2, Funny

      If it's virtual, how can you "reach out and touch faith"?

  15. WTF? Dice? Nobody will pay for that! by Colin+Smith · · Score: 2, Funny

    A huge finger on the other hand...

    --
    Deleted
  16. I don't care if it rains or freezes... by Internet+Ronin · · Score: 2, Funny

    ... as long as I got my digital Jesus, riding on the dashboard of my car.

  17. Re:queue microsoft crash jokes by Kazymyr · · Score: 2, Funny

    Gives a new meaning to "Where do you want to go today?"

    --
    I hadn't known there were so many idiots in the world until I started using the Internet -Stanislaw Lem
  18. Re:Arcades by Neon+Spiral+Injector · · Score: 3, Informative

    Sega's Rad Mobile had a virtual, fuzzy, Sonic dangling from the rear-view. He bounced and swayed with the movements of the car.

  19. Re:queue microsoft crash jokes by Andrewkov · · Score: 3, Funny

    "You appear to be in an accident, air bags are about to deploy. Cancel or Allow?"

  20. So... What's Next? by blcamp · · Score: 3, Funny


    A patent on Virtual Flying Chairs?!

    --
    The problem with socialism is that they always run out of other people's money. - Margaret Thatcher
  21. Re:queue microsoft crash jokes by somersault · · Score: 2, Funny

    Heh.
    "You appear to be crying out in pain, do you wish help writing a complaint to the manufacturer?"

    "You appear not a DMV certified driver, HUD functions will be limited to wanted stars and health levels"

    --
    which is totally what she said
  22. Nothing new here by Gazzonyx · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Unfortunately, consumerism isn't driven by the "ability does not dictate necessity" mentality. Just take a look at the cars on the road to see this in action. How many SUV's do you see? There would be no Escalades if people didn't want lots of "chrome". We're all guilty of feeding this cycle, as I see it.

    --

    If I mod you up, it doesn't necessarily mean I agree with what you've said, sorry.

    1. Re:Nothing new here by Gazzonyx · · Score: 2, Interesting
      That's a very good point; I think that companies 'forcing' software on people is the other half of the viscous cycle - if they don't, their competitors will.


      I think we're all partly responsible for Microsoft being what it is. And I'm saying this, mind you, as a Linux user. If Microsoft didn't 'push' software on us, Apple would; if Apple didn't, IBM would... Sun... Novell... your friends neighbors brothers nephew ("...and everyone says he's a real whiz with computers, and he's writing this software that...").


      Sometimes I think we deserve this monster we've built. Everyone is falling over themselves to get our money, and we walk to the slaughter like the cattle we are. As a fan of irony, and an esoteric dichotomy, I should note that while I complain about this, I've also used it for my own gain on several occasions. I guess that's just part of my inner turmoil.

      --

      If I mod you up, it doesn't necessarily mean I agree with what you've said, sorry.

  23. Re:Horn by MrNiceguy_KS · · Score: 2, Funny

    Don't forget Virtual Middle Finger! (tm)

    --
    Redundancy is good And also good.
  24. Re:Wow, virtual fuzzy dice. How useless by goldenrod3 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Better combustion technology, efficiency etc. blah blah, that would be far too sensible! How about a fast, small footprint, reliable, secure operating system with a clean, responsive interface? Instead we have Vista!!

  25. Re:Finally... by Alioth · · Score: 2, Funny

    There'll be DRM, so it should really be "Where will we allow you to go today?"

    --
    Oolite: Elite-like game. For Mac, Linux and Windows
  26. Can they .... by PPH · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...display virtual loose bits of paper, assorted junk and fast food wrappers that slide back and forth on my dashboard as I go around corners?

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
  27. Based on Vista? by Micah_H · · Score: 2, Funny

    You are attempting to brake at a stop sign. Cancel or Allow?

  28. Fuzzy Dice Prior Art...??? by tmasman · · Score: 2, Funny
    Um, isn't that already in use in a ton of other games already?
    I know I saw it in Crazy Taxi (on the Dreamcast)...

    Ug... This patent crap has gotten out of hand.
    We should just scrap the whole pile of fuzzy dice & start over with a shorter available protection period & an easier means of shooting down invalid patent apps to begin with.

    --
    Oh! And this one time, at band camp...