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MS Seeks Patent On Virtual Fuzzy Dice
theodp writes "Microsoft just published a patent application for an adaptive heads-up user interface for automobiles. It covers, among other things, virtual fuzzy dice that appear to move with automobile movements."
Did they patent a virtual air freshener too? Because I really need one.
Hopefully this will fail the new obviousness criteria; note that it is still just an application. Basically, they are combining existing technologies in their obvious functionality: methods to change configuration information and display various information to vehicle operators.
I don't see any innovation here at all; they are combining elements and the result is the expected result for combining those elements.
"There are a dozen opinions on a matter until you know the truth. Then there is only one." - CS Lewis (paraprhase)
I have some fuzzy dangling things that they can try and patent.
Just what we need from a heads-up display: something which conveys no useful information and serves only to distract the driver from their main job of keeping the car on the road. This strikes me as a perfect example of the rule that, simply because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.
I can't wait till the virtual dancing hula girl arrives.... She could probably even dance to show you the direction to turn when plugged into your GPS.
Karma Whoring for Fun and Profit.
And what if Microsoft made cars? Soon we will see...
This is Slashdot. Common sense is futile. You will be modded down.
First Clippy, now Dicey?
..is more necessary. Nothing sucks more than traffic jams on the Information Super Highway. No way to signify that better than being as absolutely obnoxious as possible
"Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is." G.W.Bush
Does this patent cover anything that sways when hung from a virtual car and virtually sways?
I'm really concerned about the virtual nutsack I have hanging from my virtual trailer hitch on my virtual truck.
Vista Riceboy Edition
Will there be a GPS-based clippy that gives directions to places you don't want to go?
Slashdot social media options: AIM, ICQ, Yahoo, Jabber and Mobile Text. Why no MySpace?
Now cars will become part of a massive spam sending botnet.
Microsoft is getting into the porn industry?
I think the invisible hand of the market has its middle finger extended
--A wise old fart named SC0RN
I once played an arcade racing game where you race trucks and one of them had purple dice that showed up on screen and bounced around in your view.
I don't preview or spellcheck.
At least at Apple, OS revs get way-layed by iPhones. But this...
"Win treats sysadmins better than users. Mac treats users better than sysadmins. Linux treats everyone like sysadmins."
I have had fuzzy dice that move with the car movements for as long as I can remember. And it's a mechanical device too, not your fancy digital dice. Now excuse me, I gotta go put holes in some punchcards.
I hadn't known there were so many idiots in the world until I started using the Internet -Stanislaw Lem
Just what the motoring public needs, another source of distraction. I can see it now. People will hack the fuzzy dice to do all sorts of amusing things, notice them while driving, and crash (physically, not in the software sense).
On the plus side, I would imagine this "feature" will get the device banned under California's no "entertainment" video displays in sight of the driver whilst the car is in motion.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
Okay, if done nicely, I wouldn't mind a heads-up display (HUD). But does the general driving population need more driving distractions? Also, would other drivers be able to see it (say from behind)? Other vehicle's TVs and crap dangling from the rearview mirror always bugs me.
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.
Yeah - you can't use your brakes until you answer his questions.
:) ( http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-112322121 7782777472 )
The questions use Microsoft's excellect speech recognition technology
which is totally what she said
I cant wait to get one so I can have...
My own....
Virtual......
Jesus
A huge finger on the other hand...
Deleted
... as long as I got my digital Jesus, riding on the dashboard of my car.
Gives a new meaning to "Where do you want to go today?"
I hadn't known there were so many idiots in the world until I started using the Internet -Stanislaw Lem
..."Where do you want to go today" is about to make sense
Hey, where is my virtual fluffy dashboard and virtual coffee can conversion?
Excuse me, but please get off my Pennisetum Clandestinum, eh!
There are already heads up displays in some cars. Just another "Me Too" Microsoft Innovation that they probably bought from some startup.
I'm not putting out some flame bait, I'd think Linux powered fuzzy dice were lame too.
How about we develop better combustion technology, and better renewable resource technology, not more electronic crap to further distract the driver.
The virtual fuzzy dice idea is about as good as replacing the airbag on the steering wheel with a flat screen TV.
Shameless plug alert: Game server control panel
"You appear to be in an accident, air bags are about to deploy. Cancel or Allow?"
A patent on Virtual Flying Chairs?!
The problem with socialism is that they always run out of other people's money. - Margaret Thatcher
...digital trailer hitch dangling testicles?
that this covers anything anyone else makes that does anything, see it's adaptive.
Back in my day, we had REAL fuzzy dice, not these fancy fake moving pictures you kids have these days.
10 FILL MUG WITH COFFEE
20 DRINK COFFEE
30 GOTO 10
Heh.
"You appear to be crying out in pain, do you wish help writing a complaint to the manufacturer?"
"You appear not a DMV certified driver, HUD functions will be limited to wanted stars and health levels"
which is totally what she said
While the patent obviously covers fuzzy dice, it also covers dangling CDs, native american dream catchers, and other things that are hung by a string. It does not cover things like Hawaiian leis, or for all you single guys out there, wedding garters.
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
Unfortunately, consumerism isn't driven by the "ability does not dictate necessity" mentality. Just take a look at the cars on the road to see this in action. How many SUV's do you see? There would be no Escalades if people didn't want lots of "chrome". We're all guilty of feeding this cycle, as I see it.
If I mod you up, it doesn't necessarily mean I agree with what you've said, sorry.
Microsoft love their eye candy don't they. Will the pretty fluffy dice be a cover up for a rather sluggish and bloated underlying system? I wonder what kind of OS they will be using for the heads up display, and if you don't connect to the activation server after 30 days will it put your car into enhanced reduced functionality mode?
I hope they offer an icosahedral version.
"You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows." - Bob Dylan
I whistled for a computer and when it came near the license plate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this program was rare But I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air
- Allow, dammit, allow!!
- 'Let's set so double the killer delete select all' doesn't seem to be a valid answer. You appear to be in an accident, air bags are about to deploy. Cancel or Allow?
My 0.02 cents
I want a heads up in the back, facing outward, so I can put 'get off my (picture of someone mooning)' for tailgaters... I can't wait till people start playing GTA on this thing and get a little confused... Or playing halo, hop in a warthog and do some real 'war driving'... here's to hoping they never had more capability in graphics than needed, to keep creative hardware hackers from being a road menace.
An I.T. motto in the hands of an idiot is a dangerous thing...
Yes, the last thing you want while driving on the freeway is to have to dodge incompetent drivers and their flaming wreckage.
Besides, road conditions are bad enough without every clueless driver on the road shooting at it.
The old Sega arcade game Rad Mobile featured a real-time dangling Sonic which swung with the movements of the car: http://www.planet-xbox.de/img/articles/2635/Sonic- Mega-Collection-Plus-2.jpg
Actually, I have wanted a missile launcher button on far more occasions than I have wanted a car horn. See, when some moron almost runs you off the freeway by merging right onto your vehicle, and speeds away at 100 mph, a car horn just won't do. A missile on the other hand, will teach him a lesson he'll NEVER remember!
I like basketball!!1!
Sadly, great technological advances such as this always seem to require useless, utterly stupid gimmicks like that in order to achieve wide adoption.
Terrorists can attack freedom, but only Congress can destroy it.
This is Microsoft's attempt to block access from other manufacturers who want to make computers that go in your car. They are slowly going in this direction with things like BMW's iDrive.
Patents on the basic application of this technology in a car will keep out any upstarts who are faster and smarter than Microsoft. It might not be valid, but any challenger (Apple, probably) will have to spend some time and cash in order to compete.
Kind of like spreading tacks on the road...
Has anyone come out with a meaningful, reliable statistic as to how much of a "replacement" this is? Sounds like your spewing some pro-MS FUD. So how much does Redmond pay for lackeys to pound on Linux and praise their products on Slashdot these days? Aren't you frightened that someday you're going to wake up and not see your reflection in the mirror anymore?
The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
"And large fuzzy dice hang like testicles from rearview mirrors"
~Vexed and loving it!
Road Kill. Displays random large animals on display to try to get driver to swerve.
...display virtual loose bits of paper, assorted junk and fast food wrappers that slide back and forth on my dashboard as I go around corners?
Have gnu, will travel.
True, I don't disagree. It would be very satisfying. Just remember that you're shooting at things in front of you. In all likelihood your missile just blew a crater in the road ahead of you. You now have to dodge it. Care to guess what the odds are that someone else is going to want to take out the idiot blowing holes in the road and swerving into their lane? ;-)
You are attempting to brake at a stop sign. Cancel or Allow?
When it notices that you've just had an accident (as indicated by a triggered airbag), the speedometer is replaced by a huge 'hazard light' switch..
If this occurs just as you're reaching for where the hazard light was, then it'll switch the hazard light back to it's usual position -- just as you're reaching for it in the normal speedometer position. ... ad-infinitum, until the ambulance crew shows up and admits you to the psych ward.
Sometimes boldness is in fashion. Sometimes only the brave will be bold.
Two words (and a punctuation device):
Hiscock & Barclay (http://www.hiscockbarclay.com/home/)
I dunno about Barclay, but Hiscock must be pretty impressive (not to mention respected) to achieve named partner status in a law firm....
I know I saw it in Crazy Taxi (on the Dreamcast)...
Ug... This patent crap has gotten out of hand.
We should just scrap the whole pile of fuzzy dice & start over with a shorter available protection period & an easier means of shooting down invalid patent apps to begin with.
Oh! And this one time, at band camp...
There is an obvious social utility. By swapping the dangling dice for a 'toddler_on_the_road' image, you could cause a driver to swerve into an oncoming mega truck. These lawyer-free relationship terminations could be called microsoft divorces. Of course you wouldn't be able to get the software direct. It would have to be a Mafia Supplied (MS) killer app.
The toddler image would be best converted into a cubist image after say 3 secs so that forensic work would have difficulty distinguishing jiggling dice from dicing with death.
Sorry. Jiggling dice does mean dicing with death. Shouldn't we allow idiots to embrace Darwin and all his works.
Gives 'Blue Screen of Death' a new meaning...
Lodragan Draoidh
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. - Mark Twain
No similarity to Dashboard, I reckon. *rolleyes* I can't believe these weirdos.
I claim prior art - all of MSFT's profits are belong to me.
-- Tigger warning: This post may contain tiggers! --
Article title should read, 'MS seeks patent on bad taste'. BTW, whats Microsoft doing getting into the motor trade? Is this Bill's idea for pimping his 959?
Brings to mind a fake advertisement clip from Streets of SimCity:
"Fuzzy dice accessories: Chew toys for your car."
tasks(723) drafts(105) languages(484) examples(29106)
For those masters of innovation at Microsoft!
Fuzzy dice - a Bill Gates invention!
60 million sold in the first six months!
Fuzzy Dice Service Pack 1 will soon be released!
Meanwhile, Secunia released a study today that says Fuzzy Dice can be "pwned" in seconds...
Richard Steven Hack - This sig is TOO GODDAMN SHORT TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL WITH! MORONS!
Blue Screen of Death just got a literal meaning.
Usage: km/h for speed (kilometers per hour); kph for very slow impulses (kilopond hours).
While driving, I need the following information:
- A good view of surrounding traffic, assisted with mirrors where necessary.
- Indication of conditions that require my attention in the near future (e.g. directional indicator is on, high beams on, handbrake engaged, fuel is low, oil pressure has suddenly dropped...), i.e. the usual warning lights, plus fuel and temp gauges.
- Knowledge of my current speed, i.e. speedometer, to stay within posted limits.
That's all. A tachometer is nice to have to optimize performance and economy, but not a necessity.What I watch while driving, in order of frequency:
- The road in front.
- The mirrors.
- Speedometer + tach every now and then.
- The rest of the instrument cluster every now and then, to check fuel level. Any warning lights will be noticed at this time, or while checking the speed.
My car is old enough (1999 Ford Focus station wagon) that heating and A/C can be adjusted by touch (rotary knobs). Also, the radio has controls in the steering column, so it can be controlled without looking. I don't use a mobile phone or change CDs while driving.If there's information being distributed about something blocking the road... well, that's why I have the RDS radio.
For me, any additional information in the field of view would only be clutter, especially if it's moving or changing shape. In my view, it's a benefit of the traditional instrument cluster, as well as a traditional HUD, that every display component has a fixed location which can be memorized. This memorization can go so far that one does not need to focus to the instrument cluster; when I see a blue light in the dashboard, I know it means my high beams are on.
Analog gauges don't require exact focus for an approximate reading, and the most frequent indicator lights are pretty soon memorized. I can see a benefit in a HUD that displays the speedometer + active warning lights information while driving, but not in one that has moving or shifting elements (which only take the driver's attention off the road), or one that would be used while parked (a conventional display would work better, as it doesn't depend on lighting conditions outside).
Usage: km/h for speed (kilometers per hour); kph for very slow impulses (kilopond hours).
You can get an honorable mention for doing stupid stuff that could have killed you but doesn't.