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Bill Gates Denied Visa To Nigeria
Xight notes a Gizmodo story that is a few days old but hasn't gotten a lot of play. It seems that Nigeria recently denied Bill Gates a visa to travel there on his recent trip to Africa. The initial denial was "on the premise that they required proof he would not reside in Nigeria indefinitely, causing a strain on social services and a general nuisance for immigration." The comments to the post are worth reading too.
Wow I miss read that one...
I read it as "Bill Gates Denies Vista for Nigeria"
They would be very lucky if that was the case
"Bill Gates denied Vista to Nigeria"
For a moment I wondered if Microsoft was trying to do something about 419 scams.
#naabhaprzrag, #sverubfr-000, #agi-fcbafberq, negvpyr[pynff*=' negvpyr-ary-'] { qvfcynl: abar !vzcbegnag; }
...is if he plans to give away Vista CDs.
I know he's rich, but does he really have the power to deny credit cards to entire countries?
Bill Gates my Dear,
we are deeply grateful sorry to not be approval of your visa into the country of Nigeria. The reasons for not doing so are abundant in nature. Please to rectify the following dear concerns we have:
1) ur dick is 2 small. This pleases no Nigerian woman and is offensive toward the women. You think having average sized cock is OK? Regards, no.
2) we believe for you want to reside in Nigeria indefinitely, causing a strain on social services and a general nuisance for immigration. If this is not your meaningful wish, offer to us a letter in explanation.
3) You aren't really want to come to Nigeria, no? Tell us who you, in reality, are in person.
Nigerian customs will make you a real man!
Very Regards,
Nigerian Immigration.
If moderation could change anything, it would be illegal.
Hello, My Name is Bill Gates. Due to a recent administrative difficulty with the government of Nigeria, I himbly beseach your assistance in helping to move my $40,000,000,000 ass there. I will be so kind as to deposit a portion of this money in the account of your specification. Your assistance in this matter great isly apreciated, your servant, Bill Gates.
For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
who could possibly want to stay in nigeria indefinitely?
This kind of language is what [African] applicants for US visas face when denied US visas at the many US visa posts across the continent. I guess it cuts both ways.
"Bill Gates" isn't exactly an unusual name, and if he didn't submit the right paperwork, of course it gets denied; even if you're an evil, monopolistic overlord billionaire, you still have to prove your identity and your financial status. It's either that, or use the backdoors in Windows to approve the paperwork himself, which I guess amounts to the same thing.
(I suspect that his notoriety is kind of a nuisance for other people with that name, who probably have to deal with "stop clowning around, what's your real name" a lot. It's probably kind of nice that Nigeria treats the name as just a name).
On the other hand, maybe they just correctly reasoned through that Gates was retiring in 2008, that Windows is having problems, and that his company definitely is being an economic nuisance to Nigeria already.
Someone was just looking for a bribe, that's all.
Nigerian economy is in a crapper.
As an American who actually worked in Nigeria for awhile a few years ago, I can tell you what the problem may have very well been; he probably didn't give the proper cash "donations" to the right people.
I actually had some problems with getting in myself that my employer had specifically prepared me to deal with, giving me a supply of local cash and instructions to use it liberally to ease my travel process. 500 Naira in the right hands turned the officials from meddlesome and probing to very welcoming in record time.
The BBC is now reporting that Bill Gates has purchased the entire country of Nigeria. According to insider sources massive restructuring will occur in order to bring the property back into profitability. Layoffs are expected.
A friend of a friend (OK, so this is probably just a joke...) is entering Australia for an extended work contract, and the immigration official asks him if he has ever been convicted of a crime in his country of origin. He replied, "I didn't realize that was still a requirement for entry."
If it's not a true story, it should be.
We know he doesn't torture puppies for fun because he's too busy torturing users for profit!
Duh.
Most citizens of Africa and indeed, any "developing" country, have very difficult times obtaining US visas. The presumption of US visa officers is that you are an intending immigrant unless you show otherwise, ie, guilty unless proven innocent. Even if one provides paperwork like financial statements, etc, they are often thought to be forged, even if not. It all boils down to a quick interview of a couple of minutes at most where the officer has to review all documents and make a snap decision.
I guess Nigeria just wanted to give the US a taste of its own medicine.
-- Samir Gupta, Ph. D. Head, New Technology Research Group, Nintendo Co. Ltd., Kyoto, Japan.
Was Nigeria using signed ints to indicate an applicant's financial status? I could see Bill's balance causing an overflow and appearing in the negatives leading to misinterpretation...
-- Samir Gupta, Ph. D. Head, New Technology Research Group, Nintendo Co. Ltd., Kyoto, Japan.
Yeah, I tend to get grilled heading across the border. The US border guards seem to think my plan is to sneak in, and live in the US permanently.
Seriously. Dude. I'm already a citizen of CANADA. Don't flatter yourselves.
(note for the humour-impaired: I actually did consider the move before 9/11 - but today?? It's hard not to laugh at the border when they accuse me of this.)
Endless arguments over trivial contradictions in books written by ignorant savages to explain thunder in the dark.
From: billgates@microsoft.com
X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2800.1106
X-Mimeole: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2800.1106
Date: Fri, 05 Oct 2007 16:11:04 +0000
Dear friend,
This letter might come to you as a surprise as we have not met
before,but I believe that you would be compelled to help me after
going through the contents of this letter.
My name is William Henry Gates III, borned October 28, 1955. I am a
American entrepreneur, philantropist and chairman of Microsoft,
a american software companny.
Basically, I was involved in maintaining my statusquo as the richest
man in the world until August (2007), when a Mexican bilionaire called
Carlos Slim surpassed my wealthy in (1) billion american
dolars. He (Carlos Slim) did not stop at that; he also went on to
afirm that his monopoly would be larger than mine.
As at this momemt, I have grudgingly gone to Nigeria, in disguise, to
undertake seizure of a hiden part of my fortune, totalling an extra USD
$28,750,000,000 (twenty eight billion, seven hundred and fifty million
United State Dolars) that I obtained from several russian organizations
for facilitating scams, trojans and keyloggers business in Windows(tm)
systems. However, since I must fake otherwise, I can only
unlock the money in the local branch of my bank in Abuja, but I cannot
take the money back with me.
Hopefully, however, I can use the services of a Diplomatic Courier to move
this money (registered as official docments) out of Nigeria to America.
All you need to do is to claim this money from the Courier Company. You will
be required to contact the Courier Company that moved this money (oficial
documents) out of Nigeria to America. All neccesaries which can facilitate
andn enable you claim the money on my behalf will be forwarded to you as
soon as your consent to procced is received.
For your assistance, you will be entitled to 20% of the total sum. This is
over US $5,000,000,000 (five billion United State Dolars) for you, my friend.
Can you help me? Are you trustworthy? Can you handle this money? Are
you capable of handling this money? If so, please contact me.
I will send instructions on how you must make a (symbolic) small initial
deposit by Western Union or MoneyGram (at your personal choice) to the Courier
company which will be promptly returned to you, just to prove that you have
a working bank account that can receive the aforementioned large sum of money.
Please send me your account details and address so that we can make this
whole transaction as quick as possible.
Your sincerely,
Mr. William Henry Gates (the third)
Give visa to Bill Gates? Cancel or Allow?
I'm in banking, used to work for the Professional Services division of one of the ratings agencies, and at that firm I was the only person willing to travel to Nigeria.
Even considering the people living there are doing the best they can with what they got - I have a lot of respect for the dignity of the ordinary Nigerians just getting on with life - it's a pretty crappy place.
My last two visits there THE POLICE tried to rob me, each time. And ordinary crime is far more pervasive and violent. Recently I read about an armed gang that raided a hotel lobby, fully knowing there would be business visitors checking in & out, with luggage, expensive laptops, mobile phones, cash and passports.
South and East of Lagos in the Niger Delta region, Europeans and Americans must travel with very heavy security, as abductions for ransom are appallingly common, to the point where we were issued cards with instructions for how our abductors could arrange payment. They aren't going to harm you, for many of the gangs operating there it's just a business! Killing is bad business. Returning live hostages yields cash.
Finally, there is a large North / South - Christian / Muslim divide, lots of tension that often erupts into violence.
If Bill Gates was really denied a visa to visit Nigeria, this was more than likely based on fears for his safety and how embarrassing it would be for Nigeria should one of the world's richest men be held for a Software Magnates ransom.
PS - While Africa's most populous country is hardly peaceful and not at all safe, I found it a strangely beautiful and compelling place.
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No, not really. Finally someone actually enforces their laws. Bill should get no more special treatment over anyone else.
---- Booth was a patriot ----
Sorry about him, i think we just got internet access in our asylums or something.
This is a joke. I am joking. Joke joke joke.
"...a loudmouth frat boy type living off his father's name." Hey, tell him he could be President of the U.S.