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Note To Criminals — Don't Call Tech Support

Billosaur writes "Darwin Awards, here he comes: Ars Technica has up a story about a would-be identity thief who did himself in by calling tech support about printer drivers. Timothy Short must have thought he'd hit the mother-lode when he stole a PC and a Digimarc printer from the Missouri Department of Revenue, perhaps with dreams of cranking out thousands of fake ids. Problem: he could not unlock the computer he stole and without the necessary drivers, he couldn't use the printer. Ever resourceful, Short called Digimarc tech support a couple of days later (twice), which brought him to the attention of a Secret Service agent, who recognized his voice from a recording of the calls. Short now faces a $250,000 fine and up to 10 years in prison."

39 of 266 comments (clear)

  1. oblig. by Shteven · · Score: 3, Funny

    haha

    1. Re:oblig. by mw13068 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Invalid markup!

      Ha ha!

    2. Re:oblig. by stoolpigeon · · Score: 5, Funny

      there should be a word for someone who has only ever made one logged in comment at slashdot and completely failed it in the process.

      --
      It's hard to believe that's how Micronians are made. Why don't we see it right now by having you both kiss one another?
    3. Re:oblig. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      There is: Shteven

    4. Re:oblig. by stoolpigeon · · Score: 4, Funny

      before this day is over, I will tell someone 'You just pulled a shteven'. Yeah- my entertainment threshold is just that low.

      --
      It's hard to believe that's how Micronians are made. Why don't we see it right now by having you both kiss one another?
    5. Re:oblig. by foobsr · · Score: 4, Funny

      losership

      Even Google thinks 'Did you mean: leadership'. Maybe failing miserably comes in handy these days.

      CC.

      --
      TaijiQuan (Huang, 5 loosenings)
    6. Re:oblig. by mstahl · · Score: 3, Funny

      In Soviet Russia, comment fails to post YOU!

      Wait wait, mods, I've got more! I, for one, welcome our new one failed comment posting overlords!

  2. Did the printer castrate him? by evildarkdeathclicheo · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Um, Darwin awards? Unfortunately, criminals are still allowed to procreate and spread their genes. So unless he's either dead or rendered an eunuch, we're still screwed. -W

    1. Re:Did the printer castrate him? by El_Muerte_TDS · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Not all dumb people are criminals. Well, not unless being stupid is outlawed.

    2. Re:Did the printer castrate him? by twistedcubic · · Score: 4, Funny

      He probably suffers from lead poisoning, that's all. No need to trample on the disabled.

  3. idiot. by andreyvul · · Score: 4, Insightful

    use driverguide or google, ya moron!

    --
    proud caffeine whore
  4. Fake ID's by jcicora · · Score: 3, Funny

    Geez, talk about a close call for people living in Misery...I mean Missouri

  5. Why ?? by Saija · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Why the Department of Revenue uses a laptop with sensitive information, making easier to stole than a desktop?
    Inquiring minds want to know...

    --
    Slashdot ya no es que lo era! ;)
    1. Re:Why ?? by Saija · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Right spanish is my native language and thanks for the tip.
      Muchas gracias viejo !

      --
      Slashdot ya no es que lo era! ;)
  6. Low IQ... by fahrbot-bot · · Score: 5, Funny

    Probably used too much leaded gasoline when he was younger.

    --
    It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
    1. Re:Low IQ... by blackcoot · · Score: 3, Funny

      there isn't a jury around that wouldn't buy a temporary insanity plea in that case.

      not that i have a raging psychotic hatred for dell tech support.

  7. In the realms of funny.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

    ...My current province of residence uses a standard Fargo ID printer to crank out Driver's Licenses. I happen to have a Fargo printer for my current workplace.

    It would take NOTHING in terms of effort to crank out fake ID's - hell, the province in question (at least at this point) doesn't even use any fort of hologram or anything to secure the ID.

    I mean, this guy is braindead for calling for tech support to use his stolen goods - but at least through his stupidity & security measures they caught him. If I was an ass, I could easily crank off what I wanted to without anyone being the wiser.

    (Posted as AC, not because I do anything wrong, but I'd rather not have anyone realize the stupidity of this province & take advantage of it just out of my location in profile)

    1. Re:In the realms of funny.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Informative
  8. Please Hold by Trub68 · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Hello tech support, yes I'll hold" KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK "Hmmm must be the pizza"

  9. Another story from 1993.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

    The Australian University of Newcastle Engineering Department once had a undergraduate lab of Sony NEWS BSD Unix workstations http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sony_NEWS , possibly one of the first institutions in the country to roll out such a setup. As you may of guessed, the lab was soon broken into and several of the machines stolen.

    About a week later, Sony Australia Support got a call.. from someone asking how they could install MSDOS onto the machines. The Rep handling the NEWS said they could courier and C.O.D replacement diskettes to the caller... got their address, and then said "Actually, could you do me a favour, and please return those stolen computers to the University of Newcastle..."

  10. Note To Non-Criminals -- Don't Call Tech Support by Lust · · Score: 5, Insightful

    No one should call Tech Support - it's too frustrating.

  11. Waaaiiit a minute... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Interesting

    So the Secret Service just happened to be listening to the tech support line, hoping to recognize a criminal voice? I believe this is what they call a "buried lead" - the story should be, Secret Service Listens to Tech Support Lines. I assume, perhaps naively, that the secret service was listening in on the hope that their thief would call, and that they therefore had a warrant, but this un-addressed bit of the story is disturbing to me. My first question was "how did the Secret Service agent hear the voice to begin with?" Maybe he was moonlighting as a phone support monkey.

    1. Re:Waaaiiit a minute... by UninvitedCompany · · Score: 3, Informative

      One might conclude that the Service listened to a recording of the conversation. Many if not most tech support and customer service calls are recorded.

    2. Re:Waaaiiit a minute... by GPL+Apostate · · Score: 3, Informative

      It was a specialized stolen printer, a kind intended to print government IDs. I don't think it was like your deskjet.

      --
      Microsoft says legacy (serial/parallel) ports are bad. They don't obfuscate the hardware enough.
  12. DAMN! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    And here I thought getting printer drivers from HP was tough.

  13. Gary Glitter by Joe+Jay+Bee · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Reminds me a bit of former UK pop star Gary Glitter. His career ended in tatters after a PC World technician discovered child porn on his PC while repairing it. Easily the best example of why criminals shouldn't call tech support (especially when you keep incriminating evidence on your bloody computer...)

  14. Just the tip of the (criminal element) iceberg? by uofitorn · · Score: 3, Insightful

    This is funny and all. But I can't help but wonder how often this kind of thing goes on that we aren't aware of and is perpetrated by non-Darwin candidates. I mean, news is only "news" when it's interesting and unusual (given that it's usually reported by a for-profit institution).

    --
    "What kind of music do pirates listen to?" -Paul Maud'dib
    "Yeeeaaarrrrr n' Bee!!" -Stilgar, Leader of Sietch Tabr
  15. Finally! by kcarlin · · Score: 5, Funny

    A positive result from calling vendor tech support! And resolution in record time!

    --
    Free Adam Smith! (Or best offer.)
  16. would've been caught anyhow by viscus · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Had he been able to get the printer working with his computer, he probably would've promptly made a posting to his local Facebook network reading: "HAY GUYS I CAN HOOK YOU UP W/ FAKE ID LOL" and been busted anyway.

  17. Re:Ha. by xaxa · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think he's outdone by the the Chinese gang who took £26billion of fake English notes (in the non-existant £500,000 denomination) to the Bank of England and asked for it in current currency. How stupid do you have to be to take fake, non-existant currency to the Bank of England to convert it to current money? That's the central bank in England, and issues all the currency.

  18. It Takes More Than Just Technology... by morari · · Score: 4, Funny

    I remember a few years back when a group of preps and jocks from the local private school were busted for selling fake IDs. These kids' mommies and daddies had their bank accounts stuffed well enough for them to afford to properly produce, en mass, said IDs. The fakes were so perfectly manufactured that the only way anyone ever caught on is that the drunken little snobs failed to spell "license" correctly!

    --
    "He who can destroy a thing, controls a thing." --Paul Atreides, Dune
    1. Re:It Takes More Than Just Technology... by kd5ujz · · Score: 4, Informative

      One way to spot a fake Texas DL is to check the word "Directive" (In the sentence "Directive to physician has been filed at tel #") on the back of the license. The first "i" will not have a dot.

      --
      -William
      God is everything science has yet to explain.
    2. Re:It Takes More Than Just Technology... by Afrosheen · · Score: 4, Informative

      Actually I just checked mine, and since the authentic license (like mine) is missing the dot on that i, the fake will *have* the dot on the i. I guess that's what you meant to say.

    3. Re:It Takes More Than Just Technology... by glesga_kiss · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Could be similar to the way cartographers sometimes include deliberate errors in maps such as misspelt streets or a small imaginary cul-de-sac. Helps spot the most obvious knock-offs.

    4. Re:It Takes More Than Just Technology... by Jesus_666 · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Phone book companies do this, as well. They include fake phone numbers in their books; if a competitor uses their (copyrighted) data they can easily find out just by taking the competitor's book and looking for the fake number.

      --
      USE HOT GRITS WITH STATUE OF NATALIE PORTMAN (NAKED AND PETRIFIED)
    5. Re:It Takes More Than Just Technology... by myth_of_sisyphus · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Back in the day I came into possession of an ID that vaguely resembled me. It was worth more than gold to me.

      One night at a club the bouncer scrutinized the ID and then asked me what my sign is. I had no idea. I memorized everything else on the ID but didn't think to figure out the astrological sign. His kung-fu was good.

      I immediately countered with an exasperated "I'm an atheist, if I don't believe in god why would I believe in stars directing my fate?"

      He had no answer to that and let me in.

    6. Re:It Takes More Than Just Technology... by andyr · · Score: 4, Funny

      I tell them Faeces. It takes them a little while to register ..

      --
      Andy Rabagliati
  19. While we're on the topic... by citking · · Score: 4, Interesting
    When I was working for a small Midwestern university as a network consultant we had a lab machine disappear. It would seem that, the last time the hardware was placed back in the lab, another consultant forgot to run the security cable through the PC's security plate.


    At this particular university the networking equipment we had (DEC repeaters) didn't have the subnetting capabilities to split nthe "business" side of the network from the "student" side of the network. Thus, until the network equipment was to be upgraded over the following summer, students were required to have an Intel, 3Com, or Xircom NICs to reduce the chance of some off-brand card storming the network. Of course, this rule was unpopular with students since these cards tended to cost a bit more than the PowerPipes cards available at Best Buy's bargain bin for $4.99. We kept track of the MAC addresses of students' cards to avoid the "Hey, let me borrow your MAC address" and also had a table that we updated with the first 3 pairs of octets in the MAC address. So, to say we enforced this policy with due diligence is an understatement.


    The machines we had for the people who conducted university business were also equipped with 3Com cards. We always inventoried these machines upon arrival and saved the MAC addresses in the database as well to keep people from borrowing one from the lab machines. Yes, the process was annoying and, as I said, it was eliminated once the network equipment was replaced.


    My boss, the helpdesk manager, tried in vain to search the repeaters for the missing lab machine's MAC address. Finally, one Friday about 2 weeks after the computer disappeared we decided to try again on a lark.


    Bingo! We found the machine coming off of a port in one of the residence halls. A quick call to the university police and we were on our way over to the room where the MAC address was currently being used.


    The guy who was in the room at the time denied having stolen anything and granted the officer permission to search. The officer gave me the go-ahead to open the student's machine and, lo and behold, there was the NIC with our MAC address on it (3Com does an excellent job of putting it top-center for easy reference). The student said that he purchased the card from a store and that it was his and that this whole thing was a huge misunderstanding...


    ...right up until the point where we broke out the UV light and found our university's security stamp on about 3 places on the card.


    After that the student was arrested on the spot. Last I heard he was expelled and was ordered to pay back the $1500 cost of the machine (he had taken a few choice parts and tossed the rest. It was a Gateway; I would have done the same).


    It just goes to show that even the smart ones get caught from time to time. If you're going to steal technology it's probably best to get the hell out of dodge after doing so and NOT call tech support or, in this case, plus a stolen NIC into the network.

    --
    "This food is problematic."
  20. hey hey HEY! by geekoid · · Score: 3, Funny

    This is Slashdot, we don't have room for reasonable discourse!

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    The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect