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Senator Proposes to Monitor All P2P Traffic for Illegal Files

Posted by Zonk on from the kind-of-strains-the-mind-to-think-about-huh dept.

mytrip writes "Senator Joe Biden (D-Del) has proposed an ambitious plan, costing on the order of $1 billion, aimed at curtailing illegal activities via P2P networks. His plan involves utilizing new software to monitor peer-to-peer traffic on an ongoing basis. 'At an afternoon Senate Judiciary subcommittee hearing about child exploitation on the Internet, Sen. Joe Biden (D-Del.) said he was under the impression it's "pretty easy to pick out the person engaged in either transmitting or downloading violent scenes of rape, molestation" simply by looking at file names. He urged use of those techniques by investigators to help nab the most egregious offenders."

30 of 626 comments (clear)

  1. WHAT!?! by Ceiynt · · Score: 5, Funny

    pretty easy to pick out the person engaged in either transmitting or downloading violent scenes of rape, molestation" simply by looking at file names. Ok, so all my Metallica files will be relabled (Not Metallica_Not Illegal file_Ignore). That should keep the feds off me.

    1. Re:WHAT!?! by LMacG · · Score: 4, Funny

      Hmmmmm, what am I going to do with this file therapist.avi?

      --
      Slightly disreputable, albeit gregarious
    2. Re:WHAT!?! by mwvdlee · · Score: 4, Funny

      I propose using "JoeBiden_[number].jpg" as a generic filename for all pornographic material.

      --
      Slashdot social media options: AIM, ICQ, Yahoo, Jabber and Mobile Text. Why no MySpace?
    3. Re:WHAT!?! by mwvdlee · · Score: 3, Funny

      Perhaps we could just encode filenames in Joe/Biden binary.
      A file named "nasty_barely_legal_sicko_porn.jpg" would become something like "JoeJoeBidenJoeBidenBidenJoeJoe BidenBidenJoeJoeJoeJoeBiden BidenBidenBidenJoeJoe BidenBidenBidenJoe JoeBidenBidenJoeJoeJoe
      JoeBidenBidenJoeBidenBiden BidenJoeBidenJoeJoeJoeJoe JoeBidenJoeBidenBidenJoeJoe BidenBidenJoeJoeJoeJoeBiden BidenJoeBidenBidenBidenJoe.jpg".

      --
      Slashdot social media options: AIM, ICQ, Yahoo, Jabber and Mobile Text. Why no MySpace?
    4. Re:WHAT!?! by Cornflake917 · · Score: 3, Funny

      You shouldn't be downloading stuff from Sean Connery. I learned it the hard way when I downloaded analbumcover.avi.

      --
      Abaddon: An Xbox 360 Indie game
  2. Aw jeez Joe... by beavis88 · · Score: 3, Funny

    And here I have been giving you credit for not being a total tool. How wrong I was...

    Post Attachment: Cowboy_Neal_Riding_Congressman.jpg

  3. Hmmm - just rename the files by GuyverDH · · Score: 2, Funny

    Give them all names like "Senator Joe Biden's Personal Photo and Video Stash.tbz"

    --
    Who is general failure, and why is he reading my hard drive?
  4. ugh by jollyreaper · · Score: 4, Funny

    I hate it when they can't keep the script straight. The dems are supposed to be the stupid ones, the republicans are supposed to be the evil ones. Quit horning in on their territory!

    --
    Kwisatz Haderach
    Sell the spice to CHOAM
    This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
  5. Uh-oh... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    ...I suppose I should stop sharing the file US_Govt_Rapes_Citizens_Rights.doc lest I be marked as one of "the most egregious offenders"

  6. From now on... by zerocool^ · · Score: 3, Funny

    From now on, I'm renaming all the tarballs I package.

    tar -cvf XXX-9yo-boys-blowjobs-and-crystal-meth.tar dovecot-1.0-stable/

    ~Wx

    --
    sig?
    1. Re:From now on... by kotj.mf · · Score: 4, Funny

      > tar -cvf XXX-9yo-boys-blowjobs-and-crystal-meth.tar dovecot-1.0-stable/

      I was thinking something more along the lines of:

      cp never_gonna_give_you_up.avi XXX-9yo-boys-blowjobs-and-crystal-meth.avi

      --
      hang brain.
  7. Seems easy enough.... by spookymonster · · Score: 2, Funny

    ... we wait for the Senators to open the file "report_on_perverts_downloading_rape_and_molestation_files.doc" and then BAM! arrest the whole lot of them.

    Genius, I tell ya!

    --
    - Despite popular opinion, I am not perfect.
  8. Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? by neersign · · Score: 2, Funny

    and both Reps and Dems continually find ways to waste my money and tax me more. Some of the things these people come up with is absolutely ridiculous. Did you know that in Maryland, our senate/congress just passed a very important bill to name our official state cake? Seriously. These people get payed with our tax dollars to sit in a room and discuss these things, and they just raised our state sales tax because they have so many more excellent things to talk about. Thank you for wasting my money, Government, because I can't think of a better way to spend it myself.

  9. Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? by phoomp · · Score: 2, Funny

    I suppose he'll be looking for file names such as: "This file contains illegal content)

  10. Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? by Dancindan84 · · Score: 4, Funny

    People have of course screwed with filenames just to see what happens (much more in Kazaa/Limewire than Bit-torrent), probably to test Rule 34, with interesting results; Yeah, I love that bash.org entry too: http://bash.org/?572066
    --
    "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." - Oscar Wilde
  11. Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? by UncleTogie · · Score: 3, Funny

    So change a few to "JoeBidenHavingSexWithPreteens.mpg" and watch the fun begin!

    --
    Don't tell me to get a life. I'm a gamer; I have LOTS of lives!
  12. FYI by Dancindan84 · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's a lie...

    --
    "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." - Oscar Wilde
  13. Pfft. no biggy by IKILLEDTROTSKY · · Score: 2, Funny

    If they do implement this filter it still wouldn't know l337 speak. Which is fine since I've been naming all my files things like: T3h_Ul71m473_ch1ld3_pr0ns!!!!1.avi regardless of content for years anyway.

  14. Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? by Kierthos · · Score: 2, Funny

    May I suggest that we start renaming files to "Joe_Biden_is_an_ignorant_prick"?

    --
    Mr. Hu is not a ninja.
  15. Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? by Discordantus · · Score: 2, Funny

    As far as I know that defense probably wouldn't work. It's akin to leaving your gun on the kitchen table. In the US, the use of various tools implies knowledge & responsible handling. Unless you live in California where you can get away with anything. Hmm. So you're saying that me sharing my wifi with my neighbors is irresponsible? I thought it was called "being nice".
  16. Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? by clang_jangle · · Score: 4, Funny

    I prefer "joe_biden_with_grandkids-EXTRA_HOTTT-XXXXX.mpg"

    --
    Caveat Utilitor
  17. P2P Users Propose to Monitor All Senators... by moxley · · Score: 3, Funny

    P2P Users Propose to Monitor All Senators for Illegal Activity:

    Including:

    Taking of bribes or payment for votes/policy quid pro quo.
    Hiring of prostitutes
    Possession of Child Pornography
    Violation of Campaign lows relating to finances
    Violation of Federal "do not call" registry
    etc, etc, ad infinitum.

  18. Re:The man's a genius! by computational+super · · Score: 2, Funny

    Joe Biden, I would guess.

    --
    Proud neuron in the Slashdot hivemind since 2002.
  19. Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? by billcopc · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'd rather see this guy get Rickrolled halfway to hell, then sued by Rick Astley for downloading his song.

    Oh I would PAY to see that.

    --
    -Billco, Fnarg.com
  20. Leet Speak will Foil Sen Biden by DarthTeufel · · Score: 3, Funny

    C47CH ^^3 N0\/\/ j03 8id3n

  21. Re:Remember, Kids by IronChef · · Score: 2, Funny

    I love violence and boobies--where's the party for ME?

  22. Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? by LucidBeast · · Score: 2, Funny

    I agreed with you even before realizing I had read "wifi" as "wife".

  23. Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? by Danny+Rathjens · · Score: 2, Funny

    This "fixed that for you" meme is quite obnoxious. Everything on the internet is archived and when you modify someone's quote to make it look like they said something other than what they actually said there is now a lie about what they said in the permanent record.

  24. Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? by onehippo · · Score: 2, Funny

    Everything on the intartubes is archived and when you modify someone's quote to make it look like they said something other than what they actually said there is now a lie about what they said in the permanent record.
    FTFY
  25. Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? by cjb658 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Billions? Bah, if China has already done it, it will be easy for us to reimplement their solution. After all, we get all our other stuff from China, why not our censorshi- loyalty enforcement facilitators.

    Wait...no...Joe Biden is the best senator ever! I welcome our new censorship overlor...

    NO CARRIER