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The Military Plans To Regrow Body Parts
Ponca City, We Love You writes "The Department of Defense has announced the creation of the Armed Forces Institute of Regenerative Medicine to 'harness stem cell research and technology... to reconstruct new skin, muscles and tendons, and even ears, noses and fingers.' The government is budgeting $250 million in public and private money for the project's first five years, and the NIH and three universities will be on the team. The military has been working on regrowing lost body parts using extracellular matrices and scientists in labs have grown blood vessels, livers, bladders, breast implants, and meat and are already growing a new ear for a badly burned Marine using stem cells from his own body. Army Surgeon General Eric Schoomaker explained that our bodies systematically generate liver cells and bone marrow and that this ability can be redirected through 'the right kind of stimulation.' The general cited animals like salamanders that can regrow lost tails or limbs. 'Why can't a mammal do the same thing?' he asked."
I wonder if they're going to grow that ear on a mouse.
There are shills on slashdot. Apparently, I'm one of them.
Can we make some of the parts BIGGER when they are grown?
I can see a HUGE market for this.
and maybe a career in PR0N.
How amazed would you be to suddenly find that you just forgot what I wrote and you needed to reread my post.... again.
Mmmmm, I thought I had already killed that one...
When his defense asked, "Which computer has Jon Johansen trespassed upon?" the answer was: "His own."
Adamantium skeletons?
Mr. Garrison already did this. He grew a new penis for himself on a lab mouse cause he wanted to change back to a man again. The hard part was catching the little fucker. It kept escaping him and scared all the women around town. (You would think a woman would be delighted to see a runaway penis).
"scientists in labs have grown ... breast implants..."
So soon those penis enlargement ads won't be just a scam?
Not that I need anything like that...
"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
Lobotomy, lobotomy, lobotomy, lobotomy!
DDT did a job on me
Now I am a real sickie
Guess I'll have to break the news
That I got no mind to lose
All the girls are in love with me
I'm a teenage lobotomy
Slugs and snails are after me
DDT keeps me happy
Now I guess I'll have to tell 'em
That I got no cerebellum
Gonna get my Ph.D.
I'm a teenage lobotomy
if you steal from one source, that is plagiarism, if you steal from many, well, that's just research.
So, the US military is looking to fund a project to re-grow body parts, including meat, and PETA is offering money to someone who can create artificial meat. That sounds like a match made in Soylent Heaven to me; "It's your *own* meat; how could it not be ethical to eat it? You didn't suffer did you?"
UNIX? They're not even circumcised! Savages!
If you think a little you might figure out the real, long term agenda of their research.... Just think about that sharks can already regenerate lost fins. But how about the things attached to their head? Mmmmm, do you get it....
I can see it now... an Iraqi dissident is hiding in a ditch near Baghdad, determined to ambush the next American patrol, then reconsiders because he's distracted by the sergeant's spectacular breasts....that might just work. Hooraay! Fake Tits for everyone!
Tails only come in cat tail form, bundled with extra large cat ears. And we only sell to girls, sorry.
I wonder how much it will cost the general public once the technology matures. An arm and a leg?
If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.
Imagine how many more soldiers they will get with the this advertising. Serve now and get a 12" penile enhancement!!!! Just 3 inches per tour!!!!