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Chuck Norris Backs Down On Lawsuit

DeathElk writes "Perhaps Chuck Norris has found a soft spot. He just dropped a lawsuit against university student Ian Spector and Spector's publisher, Penguin Group Ltd. Spector had previously penned a compilation of well known 'Facts' about Chuck Norris. We discussed the suit when it was filed last year."

22 of 76 comments (clear)

  1. Why Chuck Norris changed his mind by xmas2003 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Per the article, he dropped his lawsuit because:
    he has since changed his mind on Spector's musings - including one entry that claims: "Chuck Norris can impregnate women with only a glance. He can also do this to men."

    Does this type of flattery really work with THE Chuck Norris?

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  2. Re:Oh, great. by corsec67 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Chuck Norris's kick is so strong it can strip the CSS from a page.

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  3. Re:Oh, great. by jeiler · · Score: 4, Funny

    Can even Chuck Norris kick the trolls out of /.?

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  4. Re:No Idle on the Front Page, please. by cleatsupkeep · · Score: 2, Funny

    And we'll call it Digg. And there will be blackjack, and hookers.

  5. Chuck Norris didn't back down from the lawsuit... by Xelios · · Score: 2, Funny

    the lawsuit backed down from... ahh never mind.

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  6. Chuck Norris backs down on lawsuit... by RuBLed · · Score: 3, Insightful

    then unleashes a roundhouse kick!...

  7. the only thing Chuck Norris backs down from by BlueshiftVFX · · Score: 2

    is his own kickass reputation.

  8. Did his lawyers only just realise by imneverwrong · · Score: 4, Insightful

    ...that parody is protected speech?

  9. But why? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Every country on Earth has made it illegal to mock Chuck Norris. Those that did not are no longer countries.

  10. Chuck: the IT Edition by tigersha · · Score: 4, Funny

    OpenBSD was created when Chuck Norris ripped the BSD kernel apart

    Chuck Norris runs UNICOS on his wristwatch

    The FIN bit in an IP packet is used to indicate that Chuck is coming over the Ethernet to get you

    The first terabit switch blew up when Chuck connected his computer to it

    Chuck Norris measures the speed of his CPU in BogoTips, not BogoMips /proc/uptime overflowed on Chucks 128 bit machine.

    82.4% of the liquid helium produced on earth is used to cool Chuck's superconductive CPUs

    The IPV6 Address space was exhausted when Chuck assigned an address to each of the CPU's in his Beowulf cluster

    Chuck Norris won the Turing award 4 times. Last time was for an algorithm to factor primes

    Chuck Norris scans his own PC for Mail Viruses by smell. And God bless you if you spam him

    Chuck Norris uses cat and echo instead of UPDATE and SELECT

    Chuck Norris's LISP machine does not use a Garbage collector. It does not need one.

    Half-life 2 was based on Chucks day off last week

    For Chucks computer P=NP is irrelevant. Everything runs in one clock cycle.

    Chuck Norris does not have CD Burner. He has a CD Blaster. And all CD's are rewritable on his machine.

    Oracle is named after Chucks CPU branch prediction unit

    Each of the CPUs in Chucks Beowulf cluster can crack any AES block in a picosecond

    The PowerPC chip was pulled from the market when IBM realized that no processor is as powerful as Chucks brain

    When Chucks computer crashes the lights dim all over town

    Choogle Earth can zoom down to the level of quarks and leptons and is updated every femtosecond

    Chuck Norris' chains down his mouse with Kevlar ropes ever since it ate his pet tiger

    Chucks's house is wired with Cat100 quantum optical cable that carries terabit ethernet with ease

    Steve Jobs's reality distortion field is generated by Chuck

    The last time Chuck Norris had a core dump 15 people died

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    1. Re:Chuck: the IT Edition by m_frankie_h · · Score: 5, Insightful

      That would be Bruce Schneier.

    2. Re:Chuck: the IT Edition by eugene+ts+wong · · Score: 2, Funny

      The punch card was invented and named after Chuck's preferred method of typing.

  11. LIES ALL LIES by renegadesx · · Score: 5, Funny

    The Lawsuit backed down on Chuck Norris!

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  12. Strange... by Rui+del-Negro · · Score: 2, Interesting

    This is odd, because I have the book (my girlfriend got it for me a couple of months ago), and in it the author says that he met with Chuck Norris and got his OK.

    Is this really old news (from before the book's latest edition), or did Carlos Ray give the OK and then decide to sue?

    1. Re:Strange... by Fluffeh · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Well, look, prior to getting my kit off, I tell potential sex partners that I have a huge willy. My point is that not everything you hear is true and it's just as easy to be told a lie via print.

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  13. Chuck Norris cares about us by TempeTerra · · Score: 5, Funny

    This is clearly a benevolent act by Mr Norris, as a single one of his roundhouse kicks would have destroyed the entire legal system.

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  14. Re:Is this really "news for nerds"? by Aeternitas827 · · Score: 2, Funny

    *glances at title...(Is this really "news for nerds"?)..* *examines the fact that this phenomenon occurred on the intarwebs...* *considers that the intarwebs are mostly frequented and posted upon by said nerds...* Yes, this is news for nerds. And news for nerds = news, as the 'for nerds' is merely a narrowing qualifier, essentially irrelevant to the nature of 'news'...kinda like: X+0=X, where X="news", etc, etc, yatta, yatta, yatta.

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  15. Re:Is this really "news for nerds"? by Aeternitas827 · · Score: 2, Informative

    Ignore the lack of line breaks above, for I am an idiot.

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  16. Re:Chuck Norris by Dr_Barnowl · · Score: 3, Funny

    Chuck Norris never backs up ; if his data and the universe disagree, the universe is wrong, not the data.

  17. Re:Oh, great. by tepples · · Score: 3, Funny

    That's not a kick; that's just DeCSS.

  18. Re:Is this really "news for nerds"? by JCSoRocks · · Score: 3, Funny

    rofl. The person that modded this "informative" is brilliant. That's awesome.

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  19. Re:Oh, great. by pintpusher · · Score: 2, Funny

    Chuck Norris actually touches the asymptote.

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