Slashdot Mirror
DHS Official Considered Shock Collars For Air Travelers
"The Washington Times is reporting that the DHS wants to replace your boarding pass with a GPS-enabled shock bracelet. Plans for the device include subduing passengers remotely as well as onboard interrogation. There's even a promotional video."
Perhaps Paul Ruwaldt (the official named in this story) has been watching "The Coneheads" a bit too much, or not actually flying enough. Expressing interest is not quite the same as ordering mass quantities, but it's scary enough.
I thought that air travel was punishment enough already!
Kevin Smith on Prince
I require that this proposal be expanded to full body suits. I don't trust that a simple bracelet or collar can deliver the level of shock necessary to fight the terrorists.
I'd also like to see waterboarding apparatus installed in the bathrooms. Speed is of the essence, and taking the time to divert the plane to Gitmo for proper torture could be the few precious hours the terrorists need to steal our liberty.
Hahaha, man.. The Onion has the best articles!
Hahaha... wait, wtf?!
%#$$%#@!!!
I don't care about the shock collars, but for the love of god don't run the system on windows.
...why not just show them Slashdot's new interface?
As long as I can zap the screaming kid kicking the back of my seat. Or the obnoxious drunk who won't shut up. I can see it now. It would be like the Simpsons at the family counseling office all zapping each other. Very entertaining.
What?
Why did this fake story even get posted?
Because it's amusing? If only they had tagged it with a Monty-Python style foot and posted it to 'idle' so that we had some indication that it was silly instead of serious news...
He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
I will dissolve the DHS
How will the Emperor maintain control without the bureaucracy?
I predict a great future for video conferencing companies.
Please don't take off your shock bracelets before hijacking the plane. Thanks, Delta
No, TSA-mandated 12" exploding buttplugs would be scary. (which is what it'll take for the public to wake up)
Shock collar boarding passes are merely funny.
Obama likes poor people so much, he wants to make more of them.
Amen, brother. Don't even get me started on not carrying 100ml of fluid or taking my shoes off at the security gate. Forget Loose-Change style "Bush did it" conspiracy theories, Al Qaeda is probably a puppet of the security companies.
Yeah, go waaaay beyond "papers please" and treat *all* of your citizens as animals when they travel.
There. Fixed that for you.
Wrong!
If they put a shock collar on me, I'd blow the damn plane up on general principle.
You're on idle.slashdot.org, and your only question is why the quote tags aren't working? This page has bigger problems.
Anthropic principle: We see the universe the way it is because if it were different we would not be here to see it.
I dunno... exploding 12" butt plugs sound funny to me.
Try not to take me more seriously than I take myself.
As long as it's the shocks are cell-phone activated!
Someone must've found the movies Battle Royale 1 & 2 . Shock collers that blow up?
There's no Freedom like UFP-dom
I've figured it out! They are normal people like you and me. Only when they step into a voting booth, they get claustrophobic. This fear triggers other irrational fears, leading them to vote neoconservative.
I find your ideas intriguing and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
FGD 135
And that just scares the shit out of me.
Cynical Idealist
I found the problem with your post.
but all later aircraft are rated for aerobatics.
The 777 for instance, can take the same stresses a fighter jet can. The wings can be warped beyond 45 degrees before they disintegrate. Modern aircraft are incredibly durable.
VLC FOR MAC IS DYING! IF YOU DEVELOP, PLEASE SAVE IT!!
What a great way to get little Johnny from kicking the back of your seat. :)
A flight I was on within a couple months after 9/11 (Jan 02) the pilot came on the intercom pre-flight and thankd everyone for flying with him. He also noted that should anyone try anything "funny" he would like to remind the rest of the passengers that there are more of them than any bad guys that may be aboard. This was met with resounding applause.
Also, note that the fire extinguishers placed in well marked, easily accessible locations, make excellent bludgeons and the spray is good for a short term blinding as well.
-nB
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Why not just shoot people on sight as they arrive?
Here's a better idea: Instead of shocking, just turn those collars into miniature bombs. After all, the authorities _must_ be correct, right? Small flick of a button, a small boom, and one less terrorist! And if they're wrong... wait, they can be wrong?
.. "Blame Canada, blame Canada...."
No more I say.