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Sen. Ted "Tubes" Stevens Is Indicted
Many readers are letting us know about the indictment of Sen. Ted Stevens on seven counts of making false statements on his financial disclosure forms. We discussed the raid on the senator's house a while back. Everyone's favorite technologically challenged senator is the longest-serving Republican in the history of the upper house. An Alaskan paper gives deep background on the probe that has ensnared Stevens and a number of other Alaska political figures.
There's a joke here about federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison and clogged tubes but I'm just going to savor the indictment instead.
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
It's not just a truck you can dump things on....
It's a house, that you can add things to...apparently for free.
down the...ummm...drain.
Momentarily, the need for the construction of new light will no longer exist.
AHHH No more bridges to no where. I think I am going to cry. I wanted to visit that uninhabitabed ice berg in alaska.
How did he stay in office so long if there was already evidence of corruption in 2003 and 2004?
Honestly, I don't see this devolving into partisan bickering because everyone hates congress and the senate and everyone knows that people on both sides of the aisle are corrupt. I'm a republican and I freakin' hate this guy. Everyone I know hates corruption in the government, and this guy was one of the most corrupt out there.
Yep. crazy.
Jesus used to be my co-pilot, but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him.
Enjoy:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=_cZC67wXUTs
=^..^= all your rodent are belong to us
Actually, no, clueless asshats don't laugh at it, people who know about the subject laugh at it. The analogy is simple to the point of being useless and is only useful for those who don't have any clue at all about how the internet works, which is a quickly shrinking minority. That someone in such a position is a member of that minority is embarrassing.
text of the indictment is now available.
It was a part of the scheme that STEVENS, while during that same time period that he was concealing his continuing receipt of things of value from ALLEN and VECO from 1999 to 2006, received and accepted solicitations for multiple official actions from ALLEN and other VECO employees, and knowing that STEVENS could and did use his official position and his office on behalf of VECO during that same time period.
That sounds like good old-fashioned bribery to me, but with our screwed-up laws it's probably a lot easier to convict a politician for lying about the bribes than for taking the bribes.
Let me be the first to shout:
"Yeee-hawww!!!"
Good riddence! The coming Alaska senate race is going to be one of the most interesting in history. I suggest everyone look into it. On the democratic front, we've got popular Anchorage city mayor, Mark Beigich, who's taken the election scene by storm in just the last month or so. And Stevens, being a long time incombant, is running virtually unopposed on the republican front.
In the house, rep. Don ("I'll beat you over the head with a walrus penis") Young is having even more trouble, due to falling public perception and the VICO scandal. This long-time incumbent may be KOed in the primary by our Lt. Governor.
The republicans only star runners, at this point, are Gov. Sarah Palin and Lt Gov. Sean Parnel. Parnel is running against Young in the house, and Sarah just had a child and is busy fighting some of her own battles.
Translation: the alaska republican party is FUCKED. Before the year is out, there's a very good chance we'll see our one house seat filled by a Dem, one of our Senate seats filled by a Dem, and the state's electoral votes go to Barak Obama (currently a very close race). AK is one of the most conservative and republican states in the country, btw.
Multiplayer Gaming (defined): Sitting around, discussing single-player games with my friends, at the bar.
Senator Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) offered up this bizarre explanation for why he voted against net neutrality laws. In it, he explains how the internet works...
"There's one company now you can sign up and you can get a movie delivered to your house daily by delivery service. Okay. And currently it comes to your house, it gets put in the mail box when you get home and you change your order but you pay for that, right.
But this service isn't going to go through the internet and what you do is you just go to a place on the internet and you order your movie and guess what you can order ten of them delivered to you and the delivery charge is free.
Ten of them streaming across that internet and what happens to your own personal internet?
I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?
Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially.
So you want to talk about the consumer? Let's talk about you and me. We use this internet to communicate and we aren't using it for commercial purposes.
We aren't earning anything by going on that internet. Now I'm not saying you have to or you want to discriminate against those people [...]
The regulatory approach is wrong. Your approach is regulatory in the sense that it says "No one can charge anyone for massively invading this world of the internet". No, I'm not finished. I want people to understand my position, I'm not going to take a lot of time.
They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck.
It's a series of tubes.
And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.
Now we have a separate Department of Defense internet now, did you know that?
Do you know why?
Because they have to have theirs delivered immediately. They can't afford getting delayed by other people.
[...]
Now I think these people are arguing whether they should be able to dump all that stuff on the internet ought to consider if they should develop a system themselves.
Maybe there is a place for a commercial net but it's not using what consumers use every day.
It's not using the messaging service that is essential to small businesses, to our operation of families.
The whole concept is that we should not go into this until someone shows that there is something that has been done that really is a violation of net neutrality that hits you and me."
RS
Shoes for Industry. Shoes for the Dead.
Everyone hates congress...until election time when 95% of them get reelected.
What?
That pattern can be explained in a single word: gerrymandering.
I am officially gone from
And when will Dodd and the Democratic senators who got their mortgages personally handed to them by bank CEOs receive the same treatment? I'm not a partisan in this, and I do enjoy seeing Stevens go down, but this guy is just the tip of the iceberg. I suspect that most of Congress would have to be indicted if a sweeping investigation were done.
What he is charged with is so petty compared to the greater good he has done that will be a crying shame.
So, you're saying... as long as he keeps the money flowing to you, you are willing to overlook lies and deception? Do you think he's clean as a whistle in all his other dealings, too?
$nice = $webHosting + $domainNames + $sslCerts
Term limits would solve that problem both by definition and by addressing a core problem - length of time served equals power in both houses. Then there's the problem that races tend to involve two absolutely shitty choices. Even with some pretty blatant gerrymandering, Utah republicans can't oust democrat Jim Matheson from congress because they keep nominating idiots to run against him.
The consequence of this system is that corruption never gets rooted out and a bunch of old men are deciding the future of a country that's changing very rapidly. I'll vote against incumbents when they give me a good alternative, and that doesn't happen too often.
I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why? Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially.
:x
There is a great fear that nobody else (the up-and-comer Mark Begich for example) will be able to pull the kind of strings in Washington that Stevens was able to pull -- at least not for decades.
Ah well there's the catch. So, Alaskans don't care if they elect dumb, corrupt politicians just so long as they bring in the pork for the state? I've often wondered about the electees from Alaska. Murkowski... now there's another story. He resigns to become governor and then appoints his daughter in his place?
What about the common good of the country as a whole? Your senator does not merely pass laws that affect only Alaska, but all the other 300 million of us. And powerful, corrupt politicians like yours have been coming up with dumbass laws that affect all the US for decades. For just one fun example, how about the Unsolicited Commercial Electronic Mail Choice Act.
Our state certainly needs to rid itself of corruption. If Stevens is convicted it will be a sad day.
I'm a bit dumbfounded by this. What on earth could be sad about kicking out a senator that has been proven corrupt? Oh.. yeah, he's powerful and brings money and investment, not to mention I'm sure great parties with the oil execs at the Chalet.
I know what it's like to lose a powerful government rep. Tom Foley was speaker of the house until he was the first speaker to be unseated in ages (or maybe forever, I forget). His opponent, Nethercutt, a replublican, chided Foley for being in office so long--how does one get to be speaker otherwise?--and promised to serve only two terms. Haha. Well, that promise went out the window. Anyway, eastern Washington survived gaining a lying newbie representative, I'm sure Alaska will get over this fiasco.
-Aaron
explore and develop our natural resources like oil, gold and copper
? Really? The letter next to your name determines whether you will allow things to be dug out of the ground? Or perhaps its just that adhering to environmental regulations already in place might cut into profits a little?
Prediction: The real iPhone killer is going to be sex robots from Japan. Think about it.
I have to say I don't hate this guy. I mean let's face it he took bribes and did some other scummy things. Hate seems over the top for this guy.
Yep I don't care if he is Republican, Democrat, or Ron Paul's love child. If he guilty get him out.
As far as partisan bickering... I never understood the emotional investment people make in politicians.
See my blog http://ilovecookes.blogspot.com/ for light hearted technical information.
That pattern can be explained in a single word: gerrymandering.
Actually there is a bit more to it than that. Your own Congressman is probably pretty good at delivering "economic development" to his district. The other 434 assholes are just wasting our tax dollars on "pork".
Ever wonder why Congress as a whole gets shitty approval ratings yet people usually have good things to say about their own Rep?
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
If he simply said "the Internet is like a series of tubes and if too much stuff is going through it, it will slow down", then he might have been right, generally speaking.
However, his speaking style was garbled and it frequently looked like he was trying to make a point, didn't know what it was, and was confused about technical details that shouldn't confuse someone basically in charge of setting Internet policies for the USA. Here are a few gems (thanks to the previous poster who posted this text):
Ok, talking about Netflix here. So far, so good. You order movies online and they arrive at your door.
Now he, all of a sudden, leaps from movies delivered to your door to movies streamed online. He seems to think that: 1) you would order ten movies at once, 2) you would stream those ten movies at the same time, and 3) you would be surprised when your connection speeds dropped into the basement.
Obvious misuse of terminology. I might be nitpicking if the person in question was an 80 year old grandmother who just got online, but this guy was in charge of setting Internet policies in the US. Can't he call it an "e-mail" and not an "Internet." (Unless his staff really was sending him an interconnected network of computers. I'd like to see the shipping charges on that!)
Or because the mail server was slow. These things happen and they're almost never due to commercial internet traffic slowing things down.
He seems to be of the mind that sites like YouTube just dump their content onto the Internet and it somehow clogs up the works for everyone. The reality is that YouTube, and sites like it, take up 0 content all by themselves. When you request a video from YouTube, the server responds by sending you the video and just that video, not YouTube's entire collection. If a lot of people on your network are viewing a large number of YouTube videos, then, yes, YouTube traffic will account for a fair amount of the total traffic going over the network. However, this traffic is initiated by the user, not the site.
Or, more likely, because the DOD isn't dumb and doesn't want to deliver sensitive and classified information over a public network.
My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why? Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially.
Everybody is so amused by the "series of tubes" line that they overlook this far more important statement that actually demonstrates his ignorance. He apparently believed that bandwith problems (clogged tubes) cause an email to be delayed for days, when that obviously can't be the case. This doesn't have the hilarious memorability of Stevens' other statements, but it does a much better job of showing his substantive misunderstanding of issues relating to net neutrality.
He's an 80+ year old Senator
Age is not an automatic criteria for cluelessness
You ignored the part about him being a Senator
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
You also call a computer a "box", but I doubt anyone would think a shoebox can serve the same purpose, or would compare it with one when it comes to getting math problems solved.
Jargon doesn't have to be accurate. It rarely is. How often do you have to search for your data that you put on a "heap" (provided you can code, that is)? How often do you kick your system while you "boot" it? Ever tried to bend or even fold a 3.5" "floppy disc"? Have you ever made out with a port because it's got a female connector? Do you have to keep your cat away from your "mouse"? Ever unlocked your door with something you got from a "keyboard"?
The audience is encouraged to come up with worse jargon abuse.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
I love that all the conservatives think I'm a liberal, and all the liberals think I'm conservative.
Anyway, you wrote: "Our state certainly needs to rid itself of corruption. If Stevens is convicted it will be a sad day. What he is charged with is so petty compared to the greater good he has done that will be a crying shame. And entirely his fault. He should of course take the blame for his actions. But that doesn't change the fact that it will hurt the state MORE if he is convicted... the damage comes from the hurt this does to the Republican party in Alaska."
I read you as follows:
Do I have that right?
If so, you are saying, in essence, that as long as he keeps the money [benefits, improvements, etc.] flowing, you are willing to overlook [forgive, sideline, ignore, etc.] lies and deception for the greater good of the Republican party [you]. Right?
$nice = $webHosting + $domainNames + $sslCerts
Well, sure, Series of Tubes works fine. What I'm wondering is, at the level at which you can say the internet is a series of tubes, how can you say that it isn't a truck? I think trucks works just as well if not better than tubes since the internet is really comprised of discreet packets not a continuous flow.
The internet is a like a truck that you dump things on, but if what you're sending is too big to fit on a single truck you have to split it up into separate trucks that are each sent individually and if the roads are congested your trucks will show up late. The trucks may choose different routes to the destination and show up out of order, and some trucks may get in a collision and thus not get delivered at all so you need a way to account for each truck and re-ship the pieces that went missing. Some roads don't allow large trucks so then the truck's load needs to be split up onto two smaller ones. And so on and so on.
Really, the reason he gets made fun of is that if you read everything he said, he obviously has no idea what he's talking about. Series of tubes is a decent analogy by accident.
The enemies of Democracy are
There is nothing particularly hypocritical in denouncing, what you think is an awful idea, while milking it for as long as it is forced upon you anyway.
In Soviet Washington the swamp drains you.
The simple truth is that Ted Stevens has been sent back repeatedly because he is effective at ensuring that Alaskans get overrun as little as possible by the Will of the People (who live SOMEWHERE ELSE), and that when they must bow to the Will of the People From Somewhere Else, that those peolpe pay mightily for the privilege. Ted Stevens has never pretended to have any other mission in the Senate, in fact.
Dear old Ted has been an Alaskan senator for a long time, during which Federal control over Alaska has escalated. He's good at telling you he fights for Alaskan autonomy, not actually doing it.
Incidentally: most of the charges in this case are bullshit, as anybody who thinks about it for a minute can tell you; in a state that is "sparsely populated", exactly how many choices of company do you have for things like home construction? Very few. Who benefits from legislation? Likewise very few people. There are not that many people in these circles; it's difficult to avoid "benefiting" one of them.
The charges revolve around Ted getting tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars of goods and services for free. Is that normal? Does that sound legal to you?
Incidentally, I live in another state where people from the rest of the country are called "outsiders," and I've come to find that use of the term correlates very strongly to an inability to see things from other perspectives and think flexibly. The more you recognize that you live in a small part of a large continuum of geographical and cultural diversity, the less you'll fall into the sad trap of dividing the world into Us and Them.
"I zero-index my hamsters" - Willtor (147206)
Being indicited is nothing. Yet. Once convicted, either W or McCain will pardon him, if they are in office.
Don't be so sure on that one. Although I'm not fan of the major parties, McCain and Stevens have been opposing each other on key issues for a long time. Probably the most distinctive between the two is the issue of earmarking. McCain's opposition and Stevens' abuse of them have been completely polar stances on the issue.
Just because people share the same political party does not mean their views do not vary widely, and the idea that 50% of politicians get to walk just because their party is in the white house is not reality.
Microsoft Sucks, F/OSS Rocks. I get mod points now right?
The Senate's rules require that Stevens immediately give up his committee chairs or "ranking member" status that gives him privileges in controlling most Senate business:
Indictments should be a lot more common for that gang of crooks.
--
make install -not war
I may be a conservative, but after watching in disgust when he made his impassioned plea to save his Bridge to Nowhere from the Ax of Excess, and how he'd have to leave the Senate if that piece of governmental waste was cancelled, I was shouting at the TV: "DO IT! DO IT! PLEASE DO IT! GET HIM OUT OF THERE NOW!"
Unfortunately they bowed to his threat at the time.
If the Democrats were as hard on their elected politicians as I was on this one, we could have a much better Congress than we have now. Having someone as a member of your own party doesn't make them wonderful. Sometimes they're just embarassing.
"It's the height of ridiculousness to say for those 9 lines you get hundreds of millions."
McCain and Stevens have been opposing each other on key issues...
Ah yes, the Geritol "Tastes great/Less Filling" debate.
Actually, the Vietnam War began during the Eisenhower administration, but thanks for playing anyway. As a parting gift, here is a link from Wikipedia.
I feel like death on a soda cracker.