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R.I.P Usenet: 1980-2008

CorinneI writes "In a way inconceivable in today's marketplace, Usenet was where people once went to talk — in days before the profit-centric Internet we have today. The series of bulletin boards called 'newsgroups' shared by thousands of computers, which traded new messages several times a day, is now a thing of the past."

35 of 625 comments (clear)

  1. Usenet is dead... by Notquitecajun · · Score: 4, Funny

    Netcraft confirms it!

    1. Re:Usenet is dead... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      I just figured we finally made it to October!

    2. Re:Usenet is dead... by Wireless+Joe · · Score: 4, Funny

      Netcraft confirms it!

      ME TOO!

  2. It's about time. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Think of the children who read alt.startrek.furrydom.localgettogethers

    1. Re:It's about time. by shutdown+-p+now · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yes, what about us?

  3. alt.terrible.news.horrify.cringe.wail by kahei · · Score: 5, Funny

    alt.beloved.usenet.gone?.withered?.dead?
    alt.black.day.is.is.ever-shall-be

    alt.thoughtful.pause.pause.pause.pause

    alt.brief.check.make.perform.check
    alt.noble.usenet.remains!.lives!.cheers!
    alt.brave.usenet.!surrenders.!bows.!gone!

    alt.silly.blog.!informs.!researches.!educates
    alt.dumb.blogger.drools.mashes-keys-at-random.drools
    alt.credulous.slashdot.reports.dramatises.alarms

    alt.trusty."alt.adjective.noun.verb.verb.verb".remains.endures.twinkles

    --
    Whence? Hence. Whither? Thither.
  4. Article summary by operagost · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Before the Eternal September, but after the Great Renaming, I learned about sex on Usenet."

    No need to read any further...

    --

    Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
  5. Re:this was never about porn by waffledoodle · · Score: 5, Funny

    Dude, be cool!!!

  6. Somebody's got to say it by Oloryn · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Imminent Death of the Net predicted. Film at 11."

  7. So what was your favorite newsgroup name? by smellsofbikes · · Score: 5, Funny

    Coz your post is dead accurate about the whole usenet sense of humor.

    I loved:
    alt.fan.tonya-harding.whack.whack.whack
    alt.sex.bestiality.barney.die.die.die
    and all the many alt.*.whilst.wearing.rubber.knickers groups.

    Not that I ever *read* any of them, but it made my heart warm knowing they existed.

    --
    Nostalgia's not what it used to be.
    1. Re:So what was your favorite newsgroup name? by $RANDOMLUSER · · Score: 4, Funny

      alt.swedish-chef.bork.bork.bork
      alt.barney.die.die.die
      alt.party-of-five.puke.puke.puke
      alt.impeach.bush

      --
      No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
  8. Re:WHAT? by Man+in+Spandex · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hmmmm, so we have to stake Usenet through its heart, or at least hurt it with garlic?

  9. Re:yellow journalism at it's worst by Randwulf · · Score: 5, Funny

    I've heard the number of Usenet users has tripled in the last six months.

  10. Re:I didn't get on USENET until 1995 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    ME TOO!

  11. It was a typo... by argent · · Score: 2, Funny

    He misspelled ditzy and calamitous.

  12. Re:this was never about porn by uniquename72 · · Score: 4, Funny

    While I know you're right, I feel much better and safer knowing that it is no longer possible to trade kiddy porn online anymore.

    The ends justify the means. Thank you, Mr. Cuomo.

  13. Re:2 points by mc900ftjesus · · Score: 2, Funny

    Outlawing drugs has worked so well, whatever do you mean?

  14. Re:WHAT? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    ME 2!!

  15. Re:WHAT? by computational+super · · Score: 2, Funny

    Necrophiliac.

    --
    Proud neuron in the Slashdot hivemind since 2002.
  16. Re:Hmm...Giganews and other services are still the by clamantis · · Score: 3, Funny

    Guess I should have quoted something for that to make sense.

    >First top-post! [wikipedia.org] Usenet started
    >dying for me when that became a crime worthy of
    >vituperation.

  17. Response from alt.fan.monty-python by g2devi · · Score: 4, Funny

    > Just because mainstream internet providers are dropping it doesn't mean it is dying. Usenet is immortal,
    > like Dracula, it will never die.

    SPAM: [after SPAM's cut off both of the UseNet's arms] Look, you stupid Bastard. You've got no arms left.
    UseNet: Yes I have.
    SPAM: *Look*!
    UseNet: It's just a flesh wound. ....
    SPAM: Look, I'll have your leg. [Recieves a very sharp kick] Right! [Chops off one of the UseNet's legs]
    UseNet: Right! I'll do you for that!
    SPAM: You'll what?
    UseNet: Come here!
    SPAM: What are you going to do, bleed on me?!
    UseNet: I'm invincible!
    SPAM: You're a looney.
    UseNet: The UseNet always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then. [Hopping on one leg towards SPAM]
    [SPAM chops his other leg off, leaving his body upright on the ground.]
    UseNet: Alright, we'll call it a draw.
    SPAM: Come, Patsy!
    UseNet: Oh, oh I see. Running away, eh?! You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!!

    [Fade to black.]

    Netcraft: Bring out yer dead. [Hits gong]
    Mass Media: Here's one.
    Dead UseNet: I'm not dead!
    Netcraft: What?
    Mass Media: Nothing. Here's your ninepence.
    Dead UseNet: I'm not dead!
    Netcraft: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
    Mass Media: Yes he is.
    Dead UseNet: I'm not!
    Netcraft: He isn't!
    Mass Media: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
    Dead UseNet: I'm getting betta!
    Mass Media: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
    Netcraft: I can't take 'im like that! It's against regulation!
    Dead UseNet: I don't want to go on the cart!
    Mass Media: Oh, don't be such a baby!
    Netcraft: I can't take him.
    Dead UseNet: I feel fine!
    [Mass Media knocks UseNet dead]

  18. won't work by commodoresloat · · Score: 2, Funny

    if the government is more precise in what they shut down (ie, if they shut down just alt.binaries)

    This will only kill the binary pron, leading to a new rebirth of ASCII pron!

  19. Please stop posting ! by Zoxed · · Score: 2, Funny

    Please can you all stop posting to this thread: have you forgotten the first and second rules ?

  20. The first two rules of USENET by bryansj · · Score: 3, Funny

    This is just resetting USENET so that the first two rules are back in place. Move along please.

  21. Re:Google Groups by ettlz · · Score: 4, Funny

    That's awfully subjective. I find the GG interface to be an exercise in masochism.

    Well I'm sure there's something in the alt.* tree for you!

  22. Really? by Grashnak · · Score: 2, Funny

    I am looking at alt.news.usenet.demise.predicitions-by-asshats right now and I can't see anything to suggest this is true.

    --
    Life needs more saving throws.
  23. Re:Hmm...Giganews and other services are still the by camperdave · · Score: 3, Funny

    I dunno, what's a metafor you?

    --
    When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
  24. the web is dead by TomatoMan · · Score: 4, Funny

    It seems like more and more people are making more and more outrageous predictions & claims.

    Sometime in the late 90s, Wired ran a cover story that contained an assertion that "the Web is dead."

    That's about when I canceled my subscription.

    --
    -- http://frobnosticate.com
  25. Re:Hmm...Giganews and other services are still the by SilentBob0727 · · Score: 3, Funny

    A metaphor is a cool breeze on a hot summer day.

    Or is that a cliche?

    --
    Life would be easier if I had the source code.
  26. Re:Google Groups by cparker15 · · Score: 2, Funny

    I see... what's the URL for using Gnus through my Web browser again?

    --
    Have you driven a fnord... lately?

    You must wait a little bit before using this resource; please try again later.

  27. Re:Google Groups by kwabbles · · Score: 2, Funny

    Long live Gnus.

    I'd use gnus, except I don't have enough hard drive space to install emacs.

    --
    Just disrupt the deflector shield with a tachyon burst.
  28. Re:Hmm...Giganews and other services are still the by Spy+der+Mann · · Score: 3, Funny

    They still have pretty good fetish porn. Chicks in rubber and PVC.

    And here I thought techno chicken was weird!

  29. Re:Google Groups by slyn · · Score: 4, Funny

    Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

  30. Re:Dark Usenet? by Just+Some+Guy · · Score: 5, Funny

    I was a collaborative effort.

    Tell your mom I said hi.

    --
    Dewey, what part of this looks like authorities should be involved?
  31. Re:Hmm...Giganews and other services are still the by I+don't+want+to+spen · · Score: 3, Funny
    You're right.

    Predictions are dead!

    --
    Don't go to a brothel if you want to buy broth