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Senate Passes Bill Targeting College Piracy
An anonymous reader brings news that the College Opportunity and Affordability Act has passed in the US Senate and now awaits only the President's signature before becoming law. Hidden away in the lengthy bill are sections which tie college funding to "offering alternatives to illegal downloading or peer-to-peer distribution of intellectual property as well as a plan to explore technology-based deterrents to prevent such illegal activity." The EFF issued a statement expressing concern over the bill earlier this year, shortly before the House of Representatives approved it. We discussed the introduction of the bill last November. The Senate vote was 83-8, with 9 not voting. The full text of the bill is available. The relevant section is 494, at the end of the general provisions.
College piracy really is getting out of hand these days. I just graduate college recently, and it's ridiculous how easy and casual it is.
Copyright infringement is illegal and costs companies money. As a legitimate consumer, I feel duped when others are trading around something I paid good money far.
I'm all in favor of trying to prevent and deter this unlawful activity.
Hidden away in the lengthy bill are sections which tie college funding to "offering alternatives to illegal downloading or peer-to-peer distribution of intellectual property as well as a plan to explore technology-based deterrents to prevent such illegal activity."
I haven't read the bill yet, but that sounds like an attempt to force colleges into hostile partnerships with MPAA/RIAA agencies/affiliates. If that is the case, then I urge the colleges to satisfy the requirement of "offering alternatives" by partnering exclusively with indie, creative-commons, and public domain distributors.
BTW - why in the world do colleges need to be involved in "offering alternatives" when there are dozens of well known websites already offering alternatives. iTunes anyone? Rhapsody? eMusic? If people aren't using these already what makes anyone thing that a college offering the same will suddenly be more successful? It is no business of a college, which people pay to attend, to be factoring into their cost model marketing and/or service costs of music/movie distribution.
because many of the local merchants will have a sign in their doorway that says something like this:
"Everyone MUST check their bags and backpacks at the front!!"
Most college kids are thieves. I wasn't but I got blamed for a theft when I was in school and of course, no one believed me when I told them what happened.
I hope that son of a bitch got his.
Oh yeah, copyright infringement is theft!
Someone (I don't have the needed skills) should make a website that correlates information on campaign donations from opensecrets with voting records of public officials. This was obviously bought by IP-industry lobbyists, and I think that if the general public could see this corruption more easily it would be a lot easier to root out.
Ignore $4+ a gallon gasoline that's hurting average people, but pander to the the MAFIAA in order to grub for campaign contributions.
Welcome to Pirate College Matey! Join the best fratenity! Rum Booty Booty Booty! Aaarrr! Salute our mascot, the Squawking Pirate! Keelhaul the Mizzenmast!
Nobody learns from history I guess, especially our legislators. Because the following should be obvious by now, even to them:
Which will fail.
Which will fail. None will be as free or convenient. Until we can get all our spiffy new digital music, digital TV, digital movies, and digital books (especially digital college textbooks for those college folk) in 100% quality with no DRM for free paid for by means of ads or some other non-consumer cost business model, then people (especially poor college students) are going to continue to resort to P2P.
It's inevitable. P2P should be competed against. Not legislated against. Make the cheapskate college students part of your business model or go the hell out of business.
You're right, I wouldn't steal a car. But if it were possible, I sure as hell would download one!
This is just getting ridiculous...
No company could afford to investigate and prosecute the 40% of the population that downloads copyrighted material without permission. So last week we read about ACTA, where Big Media has convinced our government to carry out investigations on its behalf to try to stop illegal downloading. So let the tax payers pay for their own investigation/prosecution!
Being so inferior to free downloads, Big Media cannot afford to market their wares widely enough to compete. So now, they have convinced our congresspeople to force nearly every university in the country to provide free marketing for them.
Big media and corporatism have gone too far, and will continue to fuck us over if we do not start pushing back. It will require every bit of power we legally have, and if we don't start doing something soon, we won't have enough power to fight it legally. This situation will be our own fault, of course.
"I urge the colleges to satisfy the requirement of "offering alternatives" by partnering exclusively with indie, creative-commons, and public domain distributors."
Which would not stop students from downloading works that the MPAA governs at the same time.
"BTW - why in the world do colleges need to be involved in "offering alternatives" when there are dozens of well known websites already offering alternatives. iTunes anyone? Rhapsody? eMusic?"
Because, according to the EFF themselves:
"The recording industry is already willing to offer unlimited downloads with subscription plans for $10 to $15 per month through services such as Napster and Rhapsody. But these services have been a failure on campuses, for a number of reasons, including these: They don't work with the iPod, they cause downloaded music to "expire" after students leave the school, and they don't include all the music students want." - Fred von Lohmann, http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/05/AR2007060501761.html
"If people aren't using these already what makes anyone thing that a college offering the same will suddenly be more successful?"
Because if they had a local library then students could access the library off of their campus, instead of having to download over the internet. They wouldn't have to worry about trojans, or whether the music file would even play on their player, etc. The aforementioned may make it seem like I think students are stupid - perhaps, because the Washington Post thinks university system administrators are stupid; some gems:
"Unless a school using the tool has firewalls on the borders of its network designed to block unsolicited Internet traffic -- and a great many universities do not"
"The toolkit allows an administrator to require a username and password for access to the Web server. The problem is that the person responsible for running the toolkit is never prompted to create a username and password."
And at least Dave Taylor at the U of P agrees: "even with a firewall keeping non-university students from accessing the toolkit's Web server, any student on the network armed with the Internet address of the Web server could view all of the traffic on his or her segment of the network, said Penn's Dave Taylor."
- http://blog.washingtonpost.com/securityfix/2007/11/mpaa_university_toolkit_opens_1.html
"It is no business of a college, which people pay to attend, to be factoring into their cost model marketing and/or service costs of music/movie distribution."
Apparently it is. Quoth that EFF dude again:
"Universities already pay blanket fees so that student a cappella groups can perform on campus, and they also pay for cable TV subscriptions and site licenses for software."
Moreover, the EFF dude thinks that's an excellent thing to apply to music downloads as well:
"By the same token, they could collect a reasonable amount from their students for "all you can eat" downloading." - Fred von Lohmann, http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/05/AR2007060501761.html
As I'm currently in the "poor college student" demographic, I feel as if I can give a little insight into what these "alternative offerings" actually end up being.
I attend a rather well known college, and we were supposedly one of the first in the country to adopt a service that provided an 'alternative' to media piracy for students to obtain material by. This was originally provided by Napster, and for the the most part it wasn't a bad deal. At no extra cost to the students, you were able to get (mostly) DRM free music for your listening pleasure (or, it could be stripped out easily; through various methods)
Fast Foreward to 2007 -
As soon as my university's contract ran out for the Napster service, they picked up another service called "Ruckus" which, unlike Napster, is a dismal failure in what a digital media service should be. The catch line was "Expanded digital offerings then just music", but the reality of the situation ended up being:
- Almost no mainstream record companies signed up with the service. Most of what was provided is from independent or self publishing labels. Not the popular music people want
- There are 'movies' you can download with the service, but they consist almost entirely of music videos, again, of those strange bands you've never heard of. They also delete themselves after 2 days.
- Massive, MASSIVE amounts of DRM. Everything WMA or WMP formatted, and cannot be ported to multiple devices. Files expire after x period, etc.
The result of this means that for the student, you're back to square one, with piracy usually the most desirable option for obtaining media. It's not uncommon for underground networks to pop up, such as Dtella in such an environment, and if anything seems to further encourage such behaviour.
Step 1:
Go here: http://www.govtrack.us/
Step 2:
See if your Senator voted in favor of this bill.
Step 3:
Notify your Senator that you'll be voting for his opponent the next time he's up for re-election.
On a sidenote, this is why earmarking legislation is a major problem. Corrupt legislators know they can smuggle crap that would NEVER pass in a million years, if they hide it in a bill that has otherwise good intentions. It's one of the few things drawing me to voting for McCain, since he's one of the more outspoken people about this particular practice.
Bad laws should be enforced, even if it requires new laws.
Bad laws that are not strictly enforced remain in power.
Bad laws that are not enforced give enforcers too much power (whether to turn a "blind eye").
Bad laws that are not enforced create a distrust of law in general, and lawlessness.
Maybe once copyright is TRULY enforced on all of society, people will realize that these restrictions are simply not worth it and finally abolish copyrights.
You can tell America has been bought and paid for when the government is willing to sacrifice the next generation's education so that the copyright of big corporations is no longer infringed upon.
from the bill
(2) develop a plan for offering alternatives to illegal downloading or peer-to-peer distribution of intellectual property as well as a plan to explore technology-based deterrents to prevent such illegal activity.
===
ok... "our plan for offering alternatives to illegal downlaoding is to provide internet access so people can reach legal distributer of digital media. As a technological deterent we plan on deleting offender's accounts"
"College Opportunity and Affordability Act"
You gotta love the humor of conservative lobbyists. "Opportunity" to "act" to reduce the "affordability" of your "college" tuition by hiring a guy to play whack-a-mole with your P2P ports "and" write reports about it? I guess they figure people who work in the college sector already get paid too much to do too little.
If the activity wasn't illegal in the first place, illegal activity would be prevented!
Colleges clearly need to just start lobbying hard and heavy to make illegal downloading legal. Teach classes explaining the harm caused by corporate lobbying, and the importance of lobbying for what one believes in WITH MONEY.
Oh... the universities' deterrents need to be "technology-based"... So use the internet to send in your lobbying money!
If every college started doing this, it might actually work :)
So, our government has figured out how it can control us, even though we are supposed to be the ones controlling them.
They take money from us via taxes, and then offer money back to those who follow their orders. If the government has all of this extra money lying around, perhaps taxes should be reduced? With a strictly progressive tax system, the money would automatically be staying with the people who the government has to "aid" in our current system.
I guarantee that if there is ever a long lived stable democracy, this kind of shit will not be going on. If our citizens ever come out of their ambivalent haze, they will be outraged enough at the inadequacy of our system to overthrow it, quite possibly with a stick, rather than a carrot.
instead of dealing with the energy crisis, the congress and senate would rather please its RIAA/MPAA Masters
Thanks to file sharing, I purchase more CDs
Thanks to the RIAA, I buy them used...
"(a) In General- Each eligible institution participating in any program under this title shall to the extent practicable-" [emphasis added]
Note the use of 'shall' and not 'must'. I believe this means that the section is not mandatory.
[At least this is the interpretation in government contracts, but correct me if I'm wrong.]
Also, the term 'practicable' is open to interpretation.
The wording of the bill seems to me to be deliberately vague: "a plan to explore...". My prediction is that colleges will draw up this "plan to explore" and then do nothing, or very little, to act on it because it's so much cheaper and easier, and because they don't care about illegal downloading.
That said, it does open a path for more laws which do require a higher degree of filtering, reporting, or whatever. This could be the beginning of a series of bills each a bit more stringent than the next.
hear that title now : "College Opportunity and Affordability Act"
if you look at it, all the keywords are there. wow, now see : "OPPORTUNITY" a positive word. "AFFORDABILITY" another good, positive word. "COLLEGE" wow, higher education too.
if you read it, you may be tempted to think this is something that provides opportunity, affordable college education and such. HOW can it be bad ?
they do that all the time. check this now : Digital Millenium Copyright Act.
examining it gives you all the necessary feelings : "digital" - wow it has to be something progressive. Millenium - oh boy, we are in 21st century yay. "copyright" -> it has "right" in it, so it has to be good. if you add the bait that is "it will provide/protect jobs" while advertising for it, you are sure to fool the public.
but of course, for them to be fooling american public for SO long with same ploys, and successfully too, there has to be a number of preconditions, providing for the fooling. i am not sure which hold true :
a) American people are UTTERLY stupid
b) American people "dont care" c) American people care little, but only for selfish reasons - see "it will protect jobs". and plan very short sighted.
d) American people are powerless
f) All of the above
g) Mixture from all the above in varying degrees.
Read radical news here
the 'alternative opportunities' that they are required to offer are the shit that RIAA/MPAA bosses are selling. they are basically being FORCED to sell products for those organizations. thats it.
Read radical news here
The small business I work for provides short term student accommodation (universities here in Belgium don't have dorms like in the States, private companies or student associations organize housing). In one of our residences, 20 students in downloaded 1.2 terabytes in the month of July. The volume causes all kinds of trouble for me as the IT guy because our ISP is perpetually threatening to cut us off if we don't upgrade to $superExpensivePlanOfTheMonth. We all know here that the overwhelming majority of this traffic is p2p.
In other words, I am very sensitive to anti-piracy arguments because I have felt the pain of dealing with it. I have toyed with the idea of putting some sort of traffic shaping technology between the students and the net or limiting their access, but ultimately I have decided to put up with the headache.
This is why: Students need freedom to grow, even if they abuse it at times (or even most of the time). If I implement traffic shaping or limit bandwidth, that one CS student who uses bittorrent to distribute his project will be screwed out of an education, and the world might be screwed out of a really cool innovation. That one aspiring film maker won't be able to distribute the movie that will make her famous and change the world of art. Sooner or later all of those students will be paying for their own bandwidth and they will learn the lesson about how their abuse is hurting the rest of us, but never again in their lives will they have the opportunities to create and learn that they have now, and unfettered access to the net is part of that.
I cannot imagine any kind of traffic control that will not pose these kinds of problems. If we allow schools to shape bandwidth, the quality of the education they offer will suffer. I hope that US universities stand up for what is right on this one.
weirdest thing I ever saw: scientology advertising on slashdot.
why anonymous ?
a lot of people here have the balls to defend ideas that are against overreaching patent/copyright malpractice and mishaps, even at times at the cost of getting sued.
but you dont have the balls to post something with your own username, despite it is certain that noone is going to sue you, bash you in the head or steal your panties ?
and,
why so serious ?
Read radical news here
It's going to get a lot worse. Soon even your personal life will be invaded:
Want that home loan? Well you have to agree to be monitored. Want that job? Better not be on any IP 'watched list' ( much as bad credit can ruin you now )
Random street searches " we see you have an ipod, that is grounds for search. Do you have your licenses for every song on here in your possession?"
---- Booth was a patriot ----
musicians dont get ZIT out of the records they sell. the amount per cd/song they get is SO pathetic that it is negligible. the record companies force them to go on concert tours to earn the millions they are earning. this is a self reinforcing slavery cycle. even if you're a top band, your record earns the record co countless millions, but you are forced to go over lengthy concerts in which you will at most accrue $1-2 m after going through countless countries and 5 to 10 concerts.
excuse me, but musicians arent getting shit out of this deal, and im not going to pay a record company $20 bucks an album, whereas the musician gets only a few cents out of it.
it doesnt make sense.
previously it was hard to distribute a creative material. you had to record it to tapes distribute to stores, advertise it, sell it. now there is internet. now there are cds that cost 0.01 per. storage and distribution is much easier. (compare the space that is required by a casette tape to a cd and how much you can squeeze into a transport). the cost of distribution have taken a dive, and profit margins rose. but we are STILL paying same bucks per album like 20 years ago. WHAT is the deal here ?
let me tell you the deal. record companies are making huge profit margins now distribution costs are down, and they are enjoying it TOO much that they are resorting to malpractice, racketeering, bribery and public enemy methods to preserve it. thats NOT a competitive practice, and it has NO place in a market that is supposed to be free.
no.
im not paying ZIT to a record company until things are set right. if they see in themselves the right to be bitches, well, i can play that game too.
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if the country prioritizes its corporations' profits more than it prioritizes its citizens, its citizens prioritize their selfish agendas more than they value their education.
you reap what you sow. simple as that.
Read radical news here
.
Chemical Society President Praises House Passage of Higher Education Act
The president of the American Chemical Society today praised Congress as well as a coalition of science, business and education organizations for their work leading to House passage of the Higher Education Opportunity Act which supports STEM education.
ACS President Bruce Bursten, Ph.D., Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences, University of Tennessee, Knoxville said the final bill showed Congress understands the importance of STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) education programs to America's future.
"As both president of the world's largest scientific society and a university faculty member and dean, I am grateful for the bill's emphasis on improving the rigor of teacher-education programs in science and math, and the priority it places on providing incentives to encourage students to obtain STEM degrees and pursue STEM-related careers. I am especially pleased the bill takes actions to expand efforts to encourage diversity in the science and technology workforce by increasing the participation of underrepresented groups. On behalf of the more than 160,000 members of the American Chemical Society, I thank Congress for giving education policy the attention it deserves via this important bill."
In a letter to leaders of the Senate and House committees which guided the bill's passage, the American Chemical Society joined 13 other science, education, and business organization in praising the "outstanding bipartisan leadership" of Congress on this issue.
This is the story that will be reprinted by his campaign.
Senators serve six-year terms that are staggered so elections are held for a third of the seats (a class) every second year. United States Senate
The Senate is quite deliberately structured to filter out the background noise - so that it can focus on what is central and not peripheral.
The odds are quite good that you will out of school and have other things to think about before your Senator comes up for relection. Your threat is just so much hot air.
Free music in the dorms is never going to rank high on his list of priorites.
I haven't read the bill yet...
That puts you in the same group as the members of the senate that voted for it.
Apart from what *AA says, is there ANY proof that there is piracy going on in colleges across US?
Don't tell me that every one knows why students use DC++ etc.. I want PROOF of piracy?
They did the same thing when the drug war was all the rage, and all those laws are still in place.
We know it hasn't worked, but it was never about something that works. If it damages the economy or puts millions in prison, they just don't care. Think of this as setting the boundaries of discourse. Even if it doesn't help the music industry in the short term, the majority of Americans will absorb the following:
Its not about making sales or promoting a store, its about changing hearts and minds. The music industry will benefit from the assumptions: they have to exist because otherwise music is stealing, and decent people are against stealing music, and organizations work to stop stealing music.
Sure, we smoked in college and downloaded music, but now we're adults. We don't sit in meetings and suggest that drug tests at work are wrong... do we?
tomorrow who's gonna fuss
It's a good sign that the RIAA is successfully preventing the public from hearing the product turned out by the big labels. Younger demographics, who are their target, do not listen to the radio nor watch TV. They get their music through their friends and online. The more successful the RIAA is at cutting off the online channel, the less access they have to the people they want to reach.
Older demographics already have all the Huey Lewis & the News and Led Zep tracks they could ever want, so they're not going to make up the shortfall. So, the more draconian laws like this the RIAA can get passed, the faster they'll accelerate their disappearance.
It's going on 10 years since they declared war on the music-listening public. I can't wait until we never hear the acronym RIAA again.
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
Is P2P even all that relevant when a 1TB USB HDD costs about a hundred fifty bucks? Load drive with songs/movies/media/whatever, walk 10 ft to dorm door next to yours, select all, copy, paste, wash, rinse, repeat.
Just stop trying to pretend that it can be stopped or traced. Stop writing worthless laws to try and curtail it. It's too late. It's too easy and too widespread and P2P isn't really that much of a factor when such massive amounts of data can be transferred so quickly and cheaply by actually picking up a hard drive and carrying it to your buddy's place. It's only a matter of time before multi-terabytes of storage are on a tiny memory stick for twenty bucks. Then what?
Artists and media companies need to start offering value again (like the awesome new Paul Westerberg album available at the DRM-free Amazon MP3 store for $0.49). Like it or not, the ease of copying (illegal as it may be) has caused the value of media to plummet. The more artists (like Nine Inch Nails, Radiohead, and Paul Westerberg) realize that and adjust accordingly, the better off they'll be. Instead the **AA will continue to be in the pockets of lawmakers for more continued (albeit unsuccessful) attempts to put the toothpaste back in the tube.
-S
--- What parts of "shall make no law", "shall not be infringed", and "shall not be violated" don't you understand?
So I'll just say "Bravo"!
What's the value of information that you don't know?
Colleges should comply by putting up links to free legal music downloads. There you go, an alternative to illegal music downloads.
On the final version of the bill that came out of conference committee and went to the White House
House: 380-49
Senate: 83-8
Why do we need to link to the "open source!" info when the original source is also open to the public (and, in my opinion, more useful)?
Could provide an opportunity for people and indie sites to get together and present something useful to the universities that will help them comply, support the underdogs, etc.
It's sad that something like this can get passed. I would be appalled if this happened in my country.
'Thats they exact same thing a banana wrench monkey.'
Too bad Slashdot didn't post the submission I made for this news item:
"Rep. Barney Frank -- shown here at a July 30 press conference with MPP's Rob Kampia -- has introduced a bill to remove federal criminal penalties for small marijuana violations. Take a minute to urge your member of Congress to support this commonsense bill now."
Now that's something worth passing! A lot of geeks smoke cannabis, I'm sure this news item would be interesting to a lot of geeks, but Slashdot passed on the news:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zo78L3ZFGKk
https://secure2.convio.net/mpp/site/Advocacy?pagename=homepage&page=UserAction&id=177
Other items of interest:
http://tv.mpp.org/shorts/profiles-in-marijuana-reform-milton-friedman-part-1/
http://tv.mpp.org/shorts/profiles-in-marijuana-reform-milton-friedman-part-2/
http://tv.mpp.org/shorts/profiles-in-marijuana-reform-rick-steves/
http://tv.mpp.org/shorts/profiles-in-marijuana-reform-john-newmeyer/
http://tv.mpp.org/shorts/the-human-cost-of-marijuana-prohibition-part-2/
http://tv.mpp.org/shorts/the-human-cost-of-marijuana-prohibition-part-1/
http://tv.mpp.org/shorts/profiles-in-marijuana-reform-jim-hightower/
The bill should mandate the requirement of music appreciation courses. This would be the best long term solution.
This is a message that our current legislators think that serving the corporate recording and distribution industry is far more important than allowing kids to get an education. The primary subject they are voting for is to let a small portion of selfish interests be able to dictate frivolous laws on what all of us should do and don't do regardless of what consequences and damages it puts on the judicial and justice system.
"Enjoy what you're doing! If it becomes drudgery, you're doing it wrong!" - Jim Butterfield
Please please please post where I can get a 1 *TB* USB device for only $150--I've been looking for months and haven't found anything anywhere near that.
http://www.provantage.com/hammer-hu1100-1000~7HAMM00Q.htm
http://www.ecost.com/detail.aspx?edp=41483993
But there is seemingly an upside to the **IAs "lining" the pockets of government officials:
1. They have a failing business model --> loosing money
2. Lining pockets --> loosing money
So, if they keep up with 1 & 2 (Especially if 2 keeps asking for more and more), they will eventually run out of money, because they can sue all they want, they will never recoup the money that they wasted in court costs, and the fact that most people could never afford their exorbitantly high demands.
This is actually genius. If this bill passes, the universities will be required by law to 'offer alternatives'. The government is under some obligation to fund such mandates, and as such, indie/creative-commons/public domain distributors may have a huge opportunity to make the government fund their efforts to provide alternatives. It would also clearly meet the additional requirement to 'explore technology-based deterrents to prevent such illegal activity' by design, making it the cheaper and more attractive solution for Universities who have to implement such systems. Even if the government doesn't pay, the Universities will need to comply with the law and would certainly pick the cheapest system. If that system is backed by lawyers, the staff, and students... the RIAA would have a really hard time convincing congress that the law was wrong and that it needs to be re-written so that they can get paid. I don't care enough about music to do anything, but non-RIAA distributors have a huge opportunity to create a system that complies with a law written by the RIAA and steal their most lucrative market. (Instead of just their music - heh!)
So I will assume that all the other "no votes" are potential vice presidential candidates :-)
What?
This is the modus operandi in Russia and the rest of that part of the world though it also happens sometimes because people have no access to broadband and need a workaround. People routinely carry hard drives around to exchange terabytes of games, movies, music, and of course porn. Or they download things at work or at college and then take their hdd home. That US colleges might have to come down to this level is unfortunate.
The title should read: Congress Thinks Commercial profits > (greater than) Education
(though in general it's more like money greater than citizens...)
"Enjoy what you're doing! If it becomes drudgery, you're doing it wrong!" - Jim Butterfield
To Feingold, Kucinich, and Lee... shame on you. This would be expected from everybody else, but from you three I expected better. Especially you, Ms. Lee. You were the only standout of the whole bunch. And now, it turns out that you too, are a sellout or didn't bother to read the bill. Off to Hades with every last one of you!
What?
It's this kind of nonsense that stopped me from contributing to the university. I figured if they had enough money for patronage to the record labels, my contribution was not going for it's intended purpose: educating young adults.
You were mistaken. Which is odd, since memory shouldn't be a problem for you
"College Opportunity and Affordability Act" = "Federally Inexpensive Youth Targeted Infringement Mechanism" Oh yeah. Forcing Colleges to create resource pools, and be net-nannies; That'll definitely make college more affordable. \:|
Reread: "College piracy" == Piracy of colleges/college degrees
Because you have access to everyone's home directories....