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California Can't Perform Pay Cut Because of COBOL
beezzie writes "Last week, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger ordered a pay cut, to minimum wage of $6.55/hr, for 200,000 state workers — because a state budget hadn't been approved yet. The state controller, who has opposed the pay cut on principle and legal grounds, now says the pay cut isn't even feasible because the state's payroll systems are so antiquated. He says it would take six months to go to minimum wage, and nine months more to restore salaries once a budget is passed. The system is based on COBOL, according to the Sacramento Bee, and the state hasn't yet found the funds or resources, in ten years of trying, to upgrade it." The article quotes a consultant on how hard it is to find COBOL programmers; he says you usually have to draw them out of retirement. Problem is, if there were any such folks on the employment rolls in California, Gov. Schwarzenegger fired them all last week, too.
This brings back memories of when we picketed our COBOL professor christmas party with signs of:
"COBOL raises taxes"
we couldn't have been more right
The programmers of California have created the greatest payroll application of all time. You can only raise salaries, not lower them. Ingenious!
I need a COBOL programmer, who is your daddy and what does he do?
How amazed would you be to suddenly find that you just forgot what I wrote and you needed to reread my post.... again.
A story about firing employees and Ahnold and you didn't use "Terminated"?
I'm not sure whether to be relieved or outraged.
This is a delicious irony here. It's great. It's almost enough to coin a phrase "Don't attribute reprieve from malice to that which can be explained by incompetence."
Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold behind the clouds.There upon the rainbow is the answer to a neverending story
We have about 20 Cobol programmers. We still run CISC and what have you. You can have them. Cheap.
In a world of acronyms, the words are the real victims.
Just Terminate a percentage of those state employees.
They created the worst payroll application of all time... it takes 50% longer to raise them back!
Stupid sexy Flanders.
"Forrer said the system has tens of thousands of lines of code, so it is time-consuming to find and replace salaries for each job classification on an individual basis." Ummm...... they should have a look at the 30million line codebase I support. I'd love to give _that_ excuse.
I work with a COBOL system
How soon can you get on a plane to California?
"A computer without COBOL and FORTRAN is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup or mustard." --John Krueger
Coder's Stone: The programming language quick ref for iPad
Don't forget, the good governator is probably payed by that system too and you know HIS pay ain't going down.
The Governator is getting paid an annual salary of $1 a year. If his pay went down any further you'd probably end up with a divide by zero error somewhere.
Hire a Linux system administrator, systems engineer,
Sounds like a typical COBOL programmer to me.
Hell, where I work now we're having problems because a particular CBT REQUIRES a floppy disk. Nobody can get the money to have the CBT code changed. The new computers don't come with floppy drives and the old computers are required to be taken out of service. Emulation software can't be used because it won't pass the "approval process" and putting a floppy drive into a new system voids the maintenance agreement.
No, the problem is that someone put a T-800 series Terminator in charge of California!
All the state's COBOL programmers have to work around the clock just to keep that early-80's piece of shit working.
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
so, they passed the buck to you :)
really, the reason nobody can find old cobol programmers to do the work is because they know the mess they left behind and they won't touch it with a 10' pole.
MP3 Search Engine
how about $6.55 an hour and then once the budget is approved, we'll pay you the rest?
It was the Complete Idiot's Guide, thank you very much.
You made that post that from work, didn't you?
A COBOL-savvy man suffers from a deadly disease and decides to go for cryonics, hoping they will find a cure in the future. A hundred years from now they wake him up. He's relieved and asks: "Thank god, you've found a cure." - "No", they tell him, "we're short of COBOL programmers."
from the to-stupid-for-words dept.
Sorry, they already have a budget crisis.
It doesn't mean much now, it's built for the future.
I saw a job posting requiring 15 years of active directory experience. I sent them a resume' for Sam Beckett.
More accurately, to program in cobol, you wouldn't have to pay me a salary, you'd have to pay compensation for mental pain and anguish.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
No, the ideal cadidate is still a 22 year old college graduate.
All you need is 25 years of Java and .Net experience to back those credentials.
If I was in charge of programming the new pay system, I wouldn't be too worried about me making minimum wage...
So... Listen.
I have a job for you in California I need to take care of. Come with me if you want to live.
They will do the jobs that no American will. Picking fruit, writing COBOL....
for the first time in my life, I can honestly say "Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for COBOL!"
/employed at a California state-run institution of higher learning.
Programmer: an ingenious device that converts caffeine into code.
Wonder why they can't find any Cobol programmer? There are probably Cobol programmers on the state payroll maintaining this system, but do you want to modify a computer program, so your employer can cut your pay by 75%? Didn't think so.
Isn't it what they program rotary phones with?
I'll bet you a donut to your paycheck that if the legislature passed a resolution that the shortfall would come out of that person's budget until it was resolved, you would start hearing about solutions instead of excuses.
-fb Everything not expressly forbidden is now mandatory.
He's not really a Republican. He was just built by Democrats to look like a Republican. The chip inside is really a Democrat.
now we need to go OSS in diesel cars
They need a COBOL programmer to assign everybody's wages to minimum.
But when he's done, whatever he sets his own wages to, he'll apparently be the only one who can change it.
If the masses can keep you down, you're not the Ubermensch.
alias 'pretty please'='sudo --dont-ask-for-password-because-i-dont-have-it'
sudo make me a sandwich!
Why yes, I AM a rocket scientist!
<nazi type="grammar">
alias 'sandwitch'='sandwich'
</nazi>
How are sites slashdotted when nobody reads TFAs?
off topic, perhaps, but how is the first xkcd refference in the thread redundant?