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How Do I Prevent Lan Party Theft?

DragonTHC writes "I'm thinking about hosting a lan party open to the public. I'm aiming for approximately 60 people to attend. I can handle all the logistics of operation. The only thing I can't wrap my head around is: how do I prevent theft at the lan party? Do I hire security guards? Do I need security cameras? I don't know the people who will attend, and I don't know if they're trustworthy enough to not steal other people's equipment. What do I do?"

69 of 758 comments (clear)

  1. Hire a guard, in cosplay by gentimjs · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hire a security guard, but if you want to intimidate lanparty geeks you need to have him dressed up as Arthas or something. Make sure the "steel is real" when selecting a weapon to go with the costume, geeks can tell 440stainless vs polished aluminum a mile away.

    1. Re:Hire a guard, in cosplay by eclectro · · Score: 5, Funny

      geeks can tell 440stainless vs polished aluminum a mile away.

      Or they could use something nerds are really afraid of, girls.

      --
      Take the cheese to sickbay, the doctor should see it as soon as possible - B'Elanna Torres, "Learning Curve"
    2. Re:Hire a guard, in cosplay by Rorschach1 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Yes, but there's also an attraction. The end result is that every girl at the event will end up with a halo of geeks around her, separated by a 1-2 meter buffer zone.

      Or haven't you ever been to DefCon?

    3. Re:Hire a guard, in cosplay by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Holy Shit

      Hire in 4 hot strippers dressed in tight security uniforms and/or cosplay getup. Have them patrol the area, making small talk, keeping things in order. Nothing will be stolen but glances, my friend.

      Win.

  2. a huge porn server by thermian · · Score: 5, Funny

    Stick one of those on the network, and people will be too busy downloading that to bother about stealing stuff.

    --
    A learning experience is one of those things that say, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.' - D. Adams
    1. Re:a huge porn server by MortenMW · · Score: 3, Funny

      Downloading music is stealing! I guess that applies to porn as well, unless you license it under the GPL or something. But GPL-porn would probably be made by the same people that release software under the GPL......

  3. Re:FIRST POST!!@1! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    I'm trying to come up with words to describe how epic this fail is...

  4. DRM by CyberVenom · · Score: 5, Funny

    Everyone knows that DRM is really the only answer for preventing theft in today's high-tech society.

  5. Re:Insurance? by hey! · · Score: 4, Funny

    Solution: hold the party in your parent's basement.

    --
    Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
  6. Re:Parties in general by eln · · Score: 5, Funny

    You can't expect to prevent theft at all in any kind of party.

    Hell, if it's a really good party you should wake up 2 weeks later naked in an alley in Tijuana.

  7. nooooo! by thermian · · Score: 5, Funny

    But GPL-porn would probably be made by the same people that release software under the GPL......

    Must...burn...imagination....

    --
    A learning experience is one of those things that say, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.' - D. Adams
    1. Re:nooooo! by spazdor · · Score: 4, Funny

      /34/ Richard Stallman.

      GO GO GO

      --
      DRM: Terminator crops for your mind!
    2. Re:nooooo! by TheSpoom · · Score: 4, Funny

      Congratulations, you have irreparably broken the internets.

      --
      It's better to vote for what you want and not get it than to vote for what you don't want and get it.
      - E. Debs
  8. Re:How many people at the party do you know? by pilgrim23 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Invite Hells Angels they have a long track record of providing security http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altamont_Free_Concert

    --
    - Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum.
  9. As far as security goes - by Recovering+Hater · · Score: 3, Funny

    - You should hire the Hells Angels and pay them with beer. Make sure you announce it nationwide and let everyone know that event is free. Then you let someone film a doc about it. Oh, and make sure you have everyone stand out in the hot sun all afternoon before it kicks off. And don't forget to make it easy for everyone to have easy access to drugs an alcohol.

    --
    My humor is probably your flamebait
  10. Re:The question should be. by dvice_null · · Score: 5, Funny

    > How can you steal from them without them finding out?

    1. Make everyone sign "The host can keep any stuff that is left behind" contract before entering.
    2. Yell "oh my god, are those girls naked out there"
    3. When everyone is out, close the door
    4. Profit

    That is actually not stealing, because you made them sign. If you want to steal, skip #1.

  11. Re:Nudity solves the problem by ogrius · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yeah and then you get someone who "proves" they can hide items... Don't go there. :)

  12. Hasn't been a problem for me by mypalmike · · Score: 5, Funny

    I've been to dozens of LAN parties, and I've never lost any equipment. In fact, I usually end up leaving with more equipment than I came with.

    --
    There are 0x40000000 types of people: those who understand 32-bit IEEE 754 floating point, and those who don't.
  13. Re:Handcuff them by Farmer+Tim · · Score: 5, Funny

    Handcuff them to the table, and when they want to leave, you can escort them out.

    I used to work for you, didn't I?

    --
    Blank until /. makes another boneheaded UI decision.
  14. Re:Insurance? by Archangel+Michael · · Score: 5, Funny

    I don't think you ought to underestimate the dangers of *E*X*T*R*E*M*E* *F*R*A*G*G*I*N*G*!!!!

    --
    Agent K: A *person* is smart. People are dumb, stupid, panicky animals, and you know it.
  15. Re:kensington cable locks by Farmer+Tim · · Score: 5, Funny

    Make sure the cable is looped around something that is relatively solid and unmovable.

    Such as the gamers themselves. Oh, wait...

    --
    Blank until /. makes another boneheaded UI decision.
  16. Re:Easy by Farmer+Tim · · Score: 4, Funny

    What? Use social interaction to simply fix a problem that could equally be solved by the use of needlessly complex technology!? ARE YOU MAD?!?

    --
    Blank until /. makes another boneheaded UI decision.
  17. Re:Insurance? by Thelasko · · Score: 5, Funny

    The reality here is this is a LAN party, not a frat-boy keg party. The risks are low.

    LEMME SHOW YA SOMETHIN!!!!
    All of the equipment blows one of the fuses in the OP's antiquated household wiring. Anxious to get back to playing Counter-Strike, one of the guests uses a penny in place of a fuse.

    Do not panic, I am a fire marshal!

    --
    One of our competitors trademarked the term "hypothesis". From now on, we will call them "boneheaded ideas".
  18. Re:Insurance? by ksd1337 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Just don't invite Steve Ballmer, unless you plan on charging him for the chairs he destroys.

  19. Re:Severe Ass Whoopin by amishjim · · Score: 2, Funny

    *stealing. . although anyone impersonating Seal should also get an Ass Whoopin. .

  20. Re:Insurance? by camperslo · · Score: 5, Funny

    Solution: Assuming all guests are adults, consider having a "clothes off at the door" policy.
    That'll really make things difficult for thieves, and will weed out those wearing explosives too!

  21. Re:Insurance? by JustOK · · Score: 5, Funny

    what were the dinosaurs REALLY like?

    --
    rewriting history since 2109
  22. Re:Insurance? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Oh please. If you're constantly worried about being sued you might as well just never get out of bed in the morning.

    precisely why i don't get out of bed until well into the afternoon.

  23. Re:Insurance? by Atraxen · · Score: 5, Funny

    No, no, no.... He wants LOWER risk...! Have you been to a LAN party lately? Between that many PSU's and the lack of a shirt to hold in the BO, explosives are less of a risk than biowarfare.

    And no one wants a real-world Zerg rush on the nose.

    --
    Be careful of your thoughts; they could become words at any minute...
  24. Re:Insurance? by irishPete · · Score: 5, Funny

    This is slashdot - it IS his parent's basement.

    --
    disk? hmmm... I know I saw it somewhere...
  25. Re:Insurance? by eln · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's not really accurate either. My Slashdot UID has been passed on for generations, and will continue to be passed on. I'm actually only 3 years old. Some families pass on the family name, we pass on the family Slashdot UID.

  26. Re:Insurance? by ferat · · Score: 5, Funny

    what were the dinosaurs REALLY like?

    "Barney" was frighteningly accurate.

  27. Re:Insurance? by lastchance_000 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts...

  28. Re:Insurance? by Domini · · Score: 2, Funny

    Unless your brother is already hosting his Obama-D&D session there...

  29. Re:Insurance? by Dmala · · Score: 5, Funny

    How do people even hurt themselves in lan parties?

    Have you *seen* some of the cooling systems on these custom rigs? You could easily get sucked into a CPU fan.

  30. Re:The question should be. by corbettw · · Score: 2, Funny

    We're talking about a bunch of geeks at a LAN party. I think your cunning plan would fall apart at step 2 as everyone would be too focused on the game to pay attention to naked women.

    --
    God invented whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.
  31. Re:Insurance? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Don't forget sunglasses to combat the glare from all the pasty white flesh! ...and don't bother bringing a camera.

  32. Do like at chuckee cheese by nurb432 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Stamp everyones hands, and compare it to what they take out.

    Oh, and armed guards for those that try.. A few dead bodies on a stake out front will be a grand deterrent.

    --
    ---- Booth was a patriot ----
  33. Re:Insurance? by JCSoRocks · · Score: 2, Funny

    ZOMG funniest thing I've ever read on here. only thing you left out was an awesome video link... Like this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8g_arzPICEA

    --
    You are using English. Please learn the difference between loose and lose; they're, there, and their; your and you're.
  34. Or by dreamchaser · · Score: 3, Funny

    Or they could use something nerds are really afraid of, girls.

    Or soap. Or sunlight.

  35. Re:Insurance? by Tetsujin · · Score: 5, Funny

    do you graybeards have a script that scrapes slashdot for the string 'uid' in user comments? i honestly can't think of how else there's such a high correlation for all the 'uid' posts to garner so many old-timers.

    Well, see, most of the younger crowd doesn't know this - but back in 1999, in response to the impending Y2K crisis, most slashdot users got neural jacks wired in to help with patching critical date-field-overflow issues. So most of the old-timers on Slashdot don't actually "read" things here, rather the postings are integrated into our overall consciousness as a background process.

    --
    Bow-ties are cool.
  36. Re:Insurance? by NaDrew · · Score: 4, Funny

    what, they don't have taco bell in Finland?

    In the future, all restaurants are Taco Bell.

    --
    Vista:XPSP2::ME:98SE
  37. Re:The question should be. by babasc · · Score: 5, Funny

    I don't think the girls need to be naked

  38. Re:Insurance? by eln · · Score: 4, Funny

    Like all Slashdot readers, I possess preternatural intelligence, and I have been blessed with unlimited knowledge from birth on a wide variety of topics, many of which were unknown to anyone else at the time. I'm also irresistible to women and, although only 3 years old, already possess incredible cynicism and am nostalgic for a time decades before I was born.

    Because of this, like all Slashdot readers, I am able to provide opinions and factual information on virtually any topic posted here. Our information is always more accurate and reliable than the article, and all Slashdot readers are absolutely correct in everything they post, even when they contradict each other.

    If you need any proof of these extraordinary claims, just browse any article here on Slashdot. The politics section is particularly good for this.

  39. Re:Insurance? by Intron · · Score: 4, Funny

    A related exercise is: with over 1.2M slashdot UIDs issued over a period of 11 years, how many of those users are deceased? The worldwide mortality rate of 9.5/100,000/year suggests about 600 UIDs are "pushing up vaxes". Come to think of it, I haven't been attacked by some of my foes in a while.

    --
    Intron: the portion of DNA which expresses nothing useful.
  40. Re:Insurance? by Renderer+of+Evil · · Score: 2, Funny

    Forget all that. What the submitter needs is a scientific method to screen the attendees to find out whether they're trustworthy. It can be a brief multiple choice survey.

    Question: You down with OPP?
     
    A: Yeah you know me.
    B: What's OPP?
    C: Prefer not to answer.

  41. Re:Insurance? by aplusjimages · · Score: 4, Funny

    Dude you should have seen the last Rockband party we had. The guys house burnt down and I ended up with hepatitis c. But we unlocked that Gold Artist achievement.

    --
    Can I bum a sig?
  42. Re:Insurance? by MobileTatsu-NJG · · Score: 4, Funny

    Some families pass on the family name, we pass on the family Slashdot UID.

    Oh please. Until evolution cooks up chicks that are turned on by Starfleet Away-Team gear, we all know there is only going to be one generation of Slashdotters.

    --

    "I like to lick butts!" by MobileTatsu-NJG (#32700246) (Score:5, Informative)

  43. Re:Insurance? by v1 · · Score: 3, Funny

    I thought we could just easily go by the length of the user name, but what would I know?

    --
    I work for the Department of Redundancy Department.
  44. Re:Insurance? by stmfreak · · Score: 2, Funny

    Of course not, your UID is too damn high.

    --
    These opinions guaranteed or your money back.
  45. Cumberbund? by Tatarize · · Score: 2, Funny

    Eric?

    --

    It is no longer uncommon to be uncommon.
  46. Re:Insurance? by leathered · · Score: 4, Funny

    Good idea until the Goatse man turns up, he's got plenty of space to hide stolen goods.

    --
    For all intensive porpoises your a bunch of rediculous loosers
  47. Re:Insurance? by oatworm · · Score: 4, Funny

    THIS IS SLASHDOT!!!

  48. Re:Insurance? by ferat · · Score: 4, Funny

    No, I mostly just lurk. I feel obligated to post when people make funny comments about low UIDs.

    This is generally followed by the people with two digits mocking me for creating my account after class rather than before.

  49. Re:Insurance? by Oktober+Sunset · · Score: 2, Funny

    Pffft, unless you were crawled out of the sea bashing two vacuum tubes together then you are not a greybeard.

  50. Re:Insurance? by sphealey · · Score: 2, Funny

    Tasty.

    sPh

  51. Re:Insurance? by Tubal-Cain · · Score: 4, Funny

    What's OPP?

  52. Re:Insurance? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    The reality here is this is a LAN party, not a frat-boy keg party. The risks are low.

    Guess again.

  53. Re:Insurance? by Lazyrust · · Score: 5, Funny

    Its all fun and games till someone goes "I put on my robe and wizard's hat...."

  54. Re:Insurance? by DamienNightbane · · Score: 3, Funny

    That's not funny. My brother died that way.

  55. Re:Insurance? by SoulDrift · · Score: 2, Funny

    Slashdot discussions/flamewars subconsciously integrated into your brain as a background process?

    That is the worst thing I have ever heard.

  56. Re:Insurance? by Sfing_ter · · Score: 2, Funny

    dood, you gotta refrigerate that corpse!

    --
    A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Emo Philips
  57. Re:Insurance? by tsa · · Score: 2, Funny

    Oh come on, everybody knows you become a greybeard when you're forced to use Vista.

    --

    -- Cheers!

  58. Re:Insurance? by palegray.net · · Score: 2, Funny

    No shit, reminds me of Bob's apartment in the late 90s. Yes, we had LAN parties. Clothing was optional, and strongly discouraged. Yes, some rather attractive girls were present.

    I'm in the Navy now. I've long since become accustomed to the sight of naked men walking around (boot camp kinda fixes any phobias people might have there). It's well worth the occasional glimpse of flabby naked dude to spend the evening with decent looking naked females at a LAN party.

    I fully support this "security measure."

  59. JESUS! by crhylove · · Score: 3, Funny

    uid 327 ?!?! What, are you like a bacteria from the Archean?!?

    --
    I hold very few opinions. I hold information based on observation and fact. If you wish to disagree, please use facts.
    1. Re:JESUS! by kju · · Score: 2, Funny

      uid 327 ?!?! What, are you like a bacteria from the Archean?!?

      Sometimes i feel like, but seriously i'm not that old. I only have a low uid because when they were introduced i was at the right place at the right time. Or to be honest: Slacking instead of working, like the prototypical slashdot user. So i probably deserved it anyway :-)

  60. Re:Insurance? by BrokenHalo · · Score: 2, Funny

    Being the only Unix admin helps of course too.

    So do you go around offering everybody a nickel to go get a better computer?

  61. Re:Insurance? by StalinsNotDead · · Score: 2, Funny

    Maybe it would be fun to have a Slashdot Archive topic, where special news items from ~5 years ago can be discussed again

    They do. It's the front page.

    --
    Thanks to the internet, we can now all die alone together! -SomeWoman
  62. Re:Insurance? by forgotten_my_nick · · Score: 3, Funny

    LOL.. this story is scary but true (in Ireland).

    I used to go a LAN party every month for CS:S. During the summer the scout den we rented out had no air-con so we had to open all the windows and doors. Even with that the sweat was pouring off a lot of people.

    Two of the guys for some reason felt the need to strip off down to only underpants. It is was disturbing trying to play with them across the room as it looked like they were totally naked.

    So as we all playing CounterStrike Source there screams of "plant the bomb", "Kill the hostage", etc, etc.

    Around the evening time a plain clothes cop walks in with a weapon and says "Hows it going?" Looks at the computers, sees we are playing CSS then looks over to the two guys naked. One of them says "It's not what you think!".

    Cop took it well, just laughed and said keep the noise down as someone had reported us.