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The 5 Most Laughable Terms of Service On the Net
nicholas.m.carlson writes "According to these five terms of service and EULA, Google owns any content you create using its Chrome browser and can filter your Gmail messages if it likes. Facebook says it can sell its users' uploaded images as stock photography. YouTube can keep footage of your kids forever, even after you've deleted it from the site. And AOL can ban you for using vulgar language on AIM. Funny, right? That's why Valleywag calls them 'The 5 most laughable terms of service on the Net.'"
Reader dlaudel writes, regarding the previously-mentioned Google EULA for Chrome, "According to Ars Technica, Google's EULA for Chrome was just copy-and-pasted from its EULA for other services, a practice that is apparently common at Google."
I never knew there was a way to guarantee a first post...That makes your failure all the sweeter. Mmmmm, tasty failure.
I skimmed the terms of use when I started my Verizon DSL account several years ago, and I'm quite certain it said something about downloading pornography being prohibited. Um, yeah, sure -- click "agree" to continue...
the DMCA is laughable too, and we're not laughing
We are. HAR HAR HAR!
Sincerely yours,
the R.I.A.A.
Lol 3rd Pots! err opst ...stop
Fuck it.
Content created with Google Chrome. By reading this post you acknowledge and agree that Google (or Google's licensors) own all legal right, title and interest in and to the post, including any intellectual property rights which subsist in the post (whether those rights happen to be registered or not, and wherever in the world those rights may exist). You further acknowledge that the post may contain information which is designated confidential by Google and that you shall not disclose such information without Google's prior written consent.
Tomorrow we'll see the 10 fastest ... and then the 20 worst ... and then the 100 funniest ...
And on the day I read a headline like "the 50 hottest nerds" on the frontpage, I'll digg that story. (and promote it on every other page I can find too).
Slashdot will need it, by then. Sigh..
Copy-paste copy-paste copy-paste
How's that for some sh---
[------ACCOUNT BANNED-------]
Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Such an optimist! May I have your autograph? I don't see people like you very often.
More realistically, they try and the consumer has no clue about their rights and they succeed. But even more likely, they never do anything.
You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of nuclear, missiles, or chemical or biological weapons.
I always make it a point to alter the EULA to my terms. Really, if a forced, non-negotiated contract can be valid, I've got them by the balls.
A simple yellow Post-It note with my terms stuck to the screen allows me to click "OK" to the presented terms.
I'm not sure how I'm going to get Google to send me all of their 2008 profits in exchange for testing their browser, though.
"National Security is the chief cause of national insecurity." - Celine's First Law
All your base are belong to Google
Doesn't mean its enforceable. What if I put a website up that had a TOS that said (which of course you had to go to my website to read.)
"By accessing or using our web site at www.youarenowmyslave.com or the mobile version thereof (together the "Site") or by posting a Slave Button on your site, you (the "User") signify that you have read, understand and agree to be bound by these Terms of Use ("Terms of Use" or "Agreement"), and are my personal slave forever."
Guess what, not enforceable. There are even more issues with EULA stored online (that you have to seek out to read) plus various things about contracts requiring negotiations and consideration.
Is for the Dunhill web site. Dunhill makes expensive stuff for people who earn bags of money. In their EULA, it says that you are not allowed to link to their web site unless you get written permission. You can read that http://www.dunhill.com/en/terms-and-conditions/ Be sure to forward that to a few people.
or by posting a Slave Button on your site, you (the "User")
Let me suggest a slight change: by posting a Slave Button on your site, you (the "Leather-hooded Gimp")...
Get your own free personal location tracker
None of these are as good as this one: http://www.dvorak.org/blog/html/terms.html
Sorry, but our systems have detected that you posted the above using Google Chrome. Therefore, the content of your first post are belong to us, along with any rule-ness benefits ownership implies.
Don't worry. There are plenty of designers who aren't.
upon the advice of my lawyer, i have no sig at this time
I once saw an EULA that said "If you decline this agreement, you agree to ..."
SECTION 11.4
YOU agree that your casting of a gaze at the HEADQUARTERS or a BRANCH of a COMPETING COMPANY shall result in your TRANSFORMATION into a PILLAR OF SALT.
Damn... One more rotten bill to pay. You'll have to send me your address for the check.
I mean, that post was okay, but not nearly worth the price. But since you said I have to, I guess I'll pay up...
We are, too. YO HO HO!
Up yours,
The Pirate Bay
No designer in their right mind would use even an nth of the shit uploaded on Facebook everyday.
Now that is what I call Intelligent Design (TM). (*)
* = Yes, this was a joke. Now, go back to the beginning of this row and start reading. (This sentence is unreachable).
She made the willows dance
Not court. You agreed to Mandatory Binding Arbitration (MBA), remember?
My brain works.
If Google really cared they would fix Android Chrome to reflow text, instead of discriminating