Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Researchers Developing Cancer-Fighting Beer

Posted by samzenpus on from the drink-your-way-to-a-better-you dept.

CWmike writes "Ever picked up a cold, frosty beer on a hot summer's day and thought that it simply couldn't get any better? Well, think again. A team of researchers at Rice University in Houston is working on helping Joe Six Pack fight aging and cancer with every swill of beer." Thank you science! Now we just need cigarettes that cure baldness.

14 of 283 comments (clear)

  1. Baldness by TheSpoom · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think if Star Trek has taught us anything, it's that baldness is one thing that will never be cured.

    --
    It's better to vote for what you want and not get it than to vote for what you don't want and get it.
    - E. Debs
    1. Re:Baldness by geekoid · · Score: 5, Funny

      In Star Trek Appearance doesn't matter. Only disobeying rules at key moments matters.

      --
      The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    2. Re:Baldness by lysergic.acid · · Score: 5, Funny

      that's a common misconception. they're actually killed by sudden intense bursts of high-energy gamma rays, which are invisible to the naked eye. the sparks are secondary effects added artificially by the ship's computer system to make the crewmen's deaths look more festive.

      this feature was deemed necessary to save doomed crew members from the shame of dying unceremoniously by innocuous-looking console malfunctions. in fact, before the pyrotechnic sparks and digital sound effects were added, many console operators' deaths would go unnoticed for hours, and sometimes even days. often Starfleet captains would unknowingly complete entire missions with a bridge full of dead crewmen sitting at their consoles--this is also why officers are now required to stand at the tactical station.

  2. Rice? by Hatta · · Score: 5, Funny

    Beer from Rice University? I hope it doesn't taste like Budweiser.

    --
    Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
    1. Re:Rice? by Cyberia · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Good news: Cancer deaths down. Other news: Liver disease is up, researchers are looking for cause & cure.

  3. Spinal detachment by isBandGeek() · · Score: 5, Funny
    TFA:

    And they added that giving high doses to invertebrates extends their life spans

    So if we remove our spines and drink a lot of this miracle beer, we can increase our lifespans? Tell me where to get this beer!

  4. Alcohol, the cause of and solution to. . . by Apple+Acolyte · · Score: 5, Funny

    To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. -Homer Simpson

    --
    Part of the hardcore faithful who believed in Apple long before it was cool again to do so
  5. Baldness is not a disease! by ODBOL · · Score: 5, Funny

    > Now we just need cigarettes that cure baldness.

    Now, cut it out! God made a few good heads. He had to cover the rest with hair.

    --
    Mike O'Donnell http://people.cs.uchicago.edu/~odonnell/
  6. Re:Guinness already does it... by pclminion · · Score: 5, Insightful

    What is this thing with Guinness? The only difference between Guinness and yellow American beer is the color. If you want a good stout there are plenty to choose from. Instead people seem to treat Guinness as some kind of stand-out because it's the only dark-colored beer available in many places. That doesn't make it unique or even particularly good.

  7. Did anyone else... by resignator · · Score: 5, Funny

    read this as' "Cancer-Fighting Bear"? I was seriously concerned there for a moment.

    --
    "At first, we thought it was just another snake cult."
  8. Drink to fight cancer! ? by w0mprat · · Score: 5, Insightful

    While I get this is a good way to sneak beneficial nutrients into the diets of people who may otherwise have no interest nor motivation in seeking them, I have one problem with it: Considering alcohol consumption is a risk factor for many types of cancer (and being loaded with empty calories contributing to other health problems), this better be a no/low-alcohol beer or there may be no net benefit to consuming this versus not drinking any beer at all. Ok sure, one standard drink per day has not been shown to be a problem. This is not the behaviour of your typical beer affictionado. There may be a trend to drink more, just because it's perceived to be healthy.

    I do think reservatol has huge potential though, I'm sure Ray Kurzweil is already taking it along with his 250 pills a day. I also agree with finding feasible ways to improve the nutrition of existing food products rather than changing the habits of millions of consumers (which requires delivering boot to ass of corporates over their marketing amongst other things).

    Yet, why not investigate economic ways to put it in milk or processed grains? Hell why not bundle it along with xylitol and omega 3 in things we eat commonly? We could all but wipe out everything from tooth decay to heart disease, to dementia in one go.

    --
    After logging in slashdot still does not take you back to the page you were on. It's been that way for 20 years.
  9. pish posh by retchdog · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The "French paradox" isn't one. The French are healthier because 1) they exercise; and 2) they only eat their famous meals on occasion. Generally, they eat "peasant food"; potatoes, bread, stews, &c. But of course that would be too difficult; no, it must be the wine. Drink, drink, drink! It's good for you!

    Here's a hint: the French drink wine because they enjoy it. When I drink beer, it's because I enjoy it. I probably won't enjoy this genetically-engineered "good for you" beer as much, so the whole idea is a non-starter. I could always just eat a pomegranate, and then drink a good beer. And for those who don't like pomegranates, we can just synthesize this "resveratol" and put it in multivitamins right?

    --
    "They were pure niggers." – Noam Chomsky
  10. Making love in a canoe by quenda · · Score: 5, Insightful
    Why is American beer like making love in a canoe?

    .

    .

    They're both fucking close to water.

    - the Bruces, Woolloomooloo university
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_WRFJwGsbY

  11. Re:Guinness already does it... by NoisySplatter · · Score: 5, Funny

    That's because nobody wanted to drink the last little bit left in the bottle so they removed it preemptively.

    --
    In Soviet Russia meme tires of you!