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Researchers Developing Cancer-Fighting Beer

CWmike writes "Ever picked up a cold, frosty beer on a hot summer's day and thought that it simply couldn't get any better? Well, think again. A team of researchers at Rice University in Houston is working on helping Joe Six Pack fight aging and cancer with every swill of beer." Thank you science! Now we just need cigarettes that cure baldness.

44 of 283 comments (clear)

  1. Baldness by TheSpoom · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think if Star Trek has taught us anything, it's that baldness is one thing that will never be cured.

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    1. Re:Baldness by geekoid · · Score: 5, Funny

      In Star Trek Appearance doesn't matter. Only disobeying rules at key moments matters.

      --
      The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    2. Re:Baldness by hkmarks · · Score: 3, Interesting
    3. Re:Baldness by grahamd0 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Curing baldness would probably be one of the evils that was abandoned after the Eugenics Wars. I'll note that Khan had a full head of hair. It's a slippery slope from Rogaine to genocide.

    4. Re:Baldness by lysergic.acid · · Score: 5, Funny

      that's a common misconception. they're actually killed by sudden intense bursts of high-energy gamma rays, which are invisible to the naked eye. the sparks are secondary effects added artificially by the ship's computer system to make the crewmen's deaths look more festive.

      this feature was deemed necessary to save doomed crew members from the shame of dying unceremoniously by innocuous-looking console malfunctions. in fact, before the pyrotechnic sparks and digital sound effects were added, many console operators' deaths would go unnoticed for hours, and sometimes even days. often Starfleet captains would unknowingly complete entire missions with a bridge full of dead crewmen sitting at their consoles--this is also why officers are now required to stand at the tactical station.

  2. Rice? by Hatta · · Score: 5, Funny

    Beer from Rice University? I hope it doesn't taste like Budweiser.

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    1. Re:Rice? by Alien+Being · · Score: 3, Interesting

      OK, Bud isn't the best tasting beer, but it's always decent. I've had too many skunked bottles of "premium" beers to continue being snobbish about it.

      FWIW, my favorite beer of all time is Pete's Wicked Ale. I'll put Guinness, Grolsch and a few others close behind.

    2. Re:Rice? by Cyberia · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Good news: Cancer deaths down. Other news: Liver disease is up, researchers are looking for cause & cure.

    3. Re:Rice? by ArcherB · · Score: 4, Funny

      Beer from Rice University? I hope it doesn't taste like Budweiser.

      It it's from Rice, that makes it Sake.

      (duh!)

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    4. Re:Rice? by UncleFluffy · · Score: 4, Informative

      The brewer posted the recipe online some time ago (Free as in Beer Speech) so you can always make your own:

      All Grain Recipe - Pliny the Elder ::: 1.074/1.012 (6 Gal)

      Grain Bill

      • 12 lbs. - 2 Row Pale Malt (American)
      • 1 lb. - Corn Sugar
      • 1/3 lb. - Crystal Malt (45L)
      • 1 lb. - CaraPils Malt

      Hop Schedule

      • 1.5 oz - Chinook (First Wort or Mash Hop)
      • 2.75 oz - Warrior (90 Min.)
      • .5 oz - Chinook (90 Min.)
      • 1 oz - Simcoe (45 Min.)
      • 1 oz - Columbus (30 Min.)
      • 2.25 oz - Centennial (Flameout)
      • 1 oz - Simcoe (Flameout)
      • 3.25 oz - Columbus (Dry Hop)
      • 1.75 oz - Centennial (Dry Hop)
      • 1.75 oz - Simcoe (Dry Hop)

      Yeast

      • White Labs California Ale Yeast (WLP001) - 1800 ml starter

      Mash/Sparge/Boil

      • Mash at 150 to 152 for 60 min.
      • Sparge as usual
      • Boil for 90 minutes (remember to compensate your water if you normally do 60 min boils)
      • Cool and ferment at 66 to 68
      --

      What would Lemmy do?

  3. Spinal detachment by isBandGeek() · · Score: 5, Funny
    TFA:

    And they added that giving high doses to invertebrates extends their life spans

    So if we remove our spines and drink a lot of this miracle beer, we can increase our lifespans? Tell me where to get this beer!

    1. Re:Spinal detachment by w0mprat · · Score: 3, Funny

      Oh, you can skip a step there: Some of us have no feature of anatomy resembling a spine!

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    2. Re:Spinal detachment by pluther · · Score: 3, Funny

      So it only works on Democrats?

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  4. Alcohol, the cause of and solution to. . . by Apple+Acolyte · · Score: 5, Funny

    To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. -Homer Simpson

    --
    Part of the hardcore faithful who believed in Apple long before it was cool again to do so
  5. Baldness is not a disease! by ODBOL · · Score: 5, Funny

    > Now we just need cigarettes that cure baldness.

    Now, cut it out! God made a few good heads. He had to cover the rest with hair.

    --
    Mike O'Donnell http://people.cs.uchicago.edu/~odonnell/
  6. I liked it, but... by Andr+T. · · Score: 4, Insightful

    In general, the addition of the resveratrol shouldn't affect the taste of the beer, since the chemical is odorless and tasteless, he said.

    So, why not adding it to... water? Because that way you wouldn't get in the newspaper, not even a /. mention?

    --

    Any life is made up of a single moment, the moment in which a man finds out, once and for all, who he is.

    1. Re:I liked it, but... by pushing-robot · · Score: 4, Informative

      Because they're using yeast to produce resveratrol, beer seems a logical choice of beverage. Besides, I think they're targeting that vast group of Americans who think it's unpatriotic to drink water.

      --
      How can I believe you when you tell me what I don't want to hear?
    2. Re:I liked it, but... by CaptainPatent · · Score: 3, Funny

      SHHHHHH!

      that completely invalidates our excuse then:

      "Honey, Would you put that beer down and go mow the lawn?!"
      "Can't sweetie, it's time for my treatment!"

      --
      Well, back to rejecting software patent applications.
  7. Re:Guinness already does it... by geekoid · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yeah, the science is still out on 'Zapping' oxidants.

    --
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  8. Re:Guinness already does it... by pclminion · · Score: 5, Insightful

    What is this thing with Guinness? The only difference between Guinness and yellow American beer is the color. If you want a good stout there are plenty to choose from. Instead people seem to treat Guinness as some kind of stand-out because it's the only dark-colored beer available in many places. That doesn't make it unique or even particularly good.

  9. Did anyone else... by resignator · · Score: 5, Funny

    read this as' "Cancer-Fighting Bear"? I was seriously concerned there for a moment.

    --
    "At first, we thought it was just another snake cult."
  10. Drink to fight cancer! ? by w0mprat · · Score: 5, Insightful

    While I get this is a good way to sneak beneficial nutrients into the diets of people who may otherwise have no interest nor motivation in seeking them, I have one problem with it: Considering alcohol consumption is a risk factor for many types of cancer (and being loaded with empty calories contributing to other health problems), this better be a no/low-alcohol beer or there may be no net benefit to consuming this versus not drinking any beer at all. Ok sure, one standard drink per day has not been shown to be a problem. This is not the behaviour of your typical beer affictionado. There may be a trend to drink more, just because it's perceived to be healthy.

    I do think reservatol has huge potential though, I'm sure Ray Kurzweil is already taking it along with his 250 pills a day. I also agree with finding feasible ways to improve the nutrition of existing food products rather than changing the habits of millions of consumers (which requires delivering boot to ass of corporates over their marketing amongst other things).

    Yet, why not investigate economic ways to put it in milk or processed grains? Hell why not bundle it along with xylitol and omega 3 in things we eat commonly? We could all but wipe out everything from tooth decay to heart disease, to dementia in one go.

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    1. Re:Drink to fight cancer! ? by geekoid · · Score: 4, Insightful

      "While I get this is a good way to sneak beneficial nutrients into the diets of people who may otherwise have no interest nor motivation in seeking them,"

      Except a bunch of ignorant fear mongers will scream about it killing us, even though there is years of data spreading over millions of drinkers.

      see Fluoridated water.

      --
      The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
  11. Re:Wine by Ortega-Starfire · · Score: 4, Funny

    Ah, but who will metamod your moderations in drinking? I'm moderately worried about this.

    --
    ---- Liquid was a patriot ----
  12. Re:Guinness already does it... by bluefoxlucid · · Score: 4, Interesting

    You'll need their yeast strain is what. This won't be so hard to procure.

  13. So true by unassimilatible · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Homebrewers laugh at Guinness, as like with most commercial beers, it tastes like water after you taste a well-bodied homebrew.

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    1. Re:So true by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      yeah, some people think brewing their own beer automatically raises them to supreme beer snob status.

      me: uh, is this beer really supposed to be stringy?
      homebrewer: you just don't know good beer.
      me: i hope it's the good kind of bacteria

    2. Re:So true by PinkyDead · · Score: 4, Funny

      Shit! How could I have been so wrong all my life! Thanks for opening my eyes. Nary a drop of that evil black stuff will pass my lips ever again, it's homebrew from here on in.

      One question, though, how long does it actually take before I'm a fully fledged member of the "Association Of Home Brewers and Other Tedious Arseholes That Sit At Home On Their Own Smugly Pontificating About How They Know Everything Society"?

      Get over yourself.

      --
      Genesis 1:32 And God typed :wq!
  14. Re:Wine by shawb · · Score: 4, Insightful

    This does have to be applied recursively. Moderation in all things... especially moderation.

    --
    I'll never make that mistake again, reading the experts' opinions. - Feynman
  15. pish posh by retchdog · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The "French paradox" isn't one. The French are healthier because 1) they exercise; and 2) they only eat their famous meals on occasion. Generally, they eat "peasant food"; potatoes, bread, stews, &c. But of course that would be too difficult; no, it must be the wine. Drink, drink, drink! It's good for you!

    Here's a hint: the French drink wine because they enjoy it. When I drink beer, it's because I enjoy it. I probably won't enjoy this genetically-engineered "good for you" beer as much, so the whole idea is a non-starter. I could always just eat a pomegranate, and then drink a good beer. And for those who don't like pomegranates, we can just synthesize this "resveratol" and put it in multivitamins right?

    --
    "They were pure niggers." – Noam Chomsky
  16. Clinical Trials by AikonMGB · · Score: 4, Funny

    Where do we apply for clinical trials?!

    Aikon-

  17. The future by CmdrPorno · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I for one welcome this new synthesis between vice and medicine. What about strippers who can cure STDs and gambling to cure dyslexia?

    --
    Sent from my iPhone
  18. Making love in a canoe by quenda · · Score: 5, Insightful
    Why is American beer like making love in a canoe?

    .

    .

    They're both fucking close to water.

    - the Bruces, Woolloomooloo university
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_WRFJwGsbY

    1. Re:Making love in a canoe by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Any drink that becomes more palatable the colder it gets is not worth drinking in the first place. What next -- Bud Numb, with anaesthetics to dull your tastebuds while you desperately try to prove your manliness by downing the foul stuff without vomiting?

    2. Re:Making love in a canoe by Hotawa+Hawk-eye · · Score: 4, Funny

      Here's your lukewarm glass of water. If you want something else, we also have lukewarm milk.

    3. Re:Making love in a canoe by tehcyder · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Any drink that becomes more palatable the colder it gets is not worth drinking in the first place.

      What about a martini?

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
  19. Don't diss the bears! by dreamchaser · · Score: 3, Funny

    Do not underestimate the potential of nanobears with regards to their ability to fight diseases like cancer. I for one welcome our microscopic ursine overlords.

  20. Re:Guinness already does it... by rrhal · · Score: 4, Informative

    You can buy their Yeat strain from any well stocked Home brew supply - one of the promenent Yeast labs has it.

    --
    All generalizations are false, including this one. Mark Twain
  21. Slashdot Community Effort by pipingguy · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I'm fighting cancer and growing hair right now!

  22. Guess what the #2 best-selling beer is in Ireland by unassimilatible · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Budweiser

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  23. Resveratrol is not produced during fermentation by fragMasterFlash · · Score: 4, Insightful

    The resveratrol in wine does not come from the yeast used to ferment it, it is a present in the fruit from which the wine is produced. While I have had far too much beer this evening to produce any links to back up this claim I will stake my reputation as an engineer, brewer and vintner that the stress undergone during the maturation of red wine grapes leads to the production of resveratrol. While tweaking yeast strains to reduce their impact on the resveratrol present in beer wort is an interesting idea, I would hazard that producing barley malt which contains a higher level of resveratrol would be much more likely to produce the desired result.

  24. Re:Guess what the #2 best-selling beer is in Irela by KiloByte · · Score: 4, Informative

    Budweiser

    Yeah, Budweiser from Budweis (sometimes called Budvar), not watered horse piss from Anheuser-Busch.

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  25. Re:Guinness already does it... by NoisySplatter · · Score: 5, Funny

    That's because nobody wanted to drink the last little bit left in the bottle so they removed it preemptively.

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  26. I apologize in advance... by BForrester · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hence motto, "to baldly go where no one has gone before."