Ted "A Series of Tubes" Stevens Found Guilty

techmuse writes "According to a series of tubes sites, Senator Ted Stevens has been found guilty of lying about free home renovations that he received from an oil contractor. He faces up to 5 years in jail, and the outcome of his current reelection bid is now in doubt. 'The conviction came after a tumultuous week in the jury room. First there were complaints about an unruly juror, then another had to be replaced when she left Washington following the death of her father. Finally, jurors on Monday discovered a discrepancy in the indictment that had been overlooked by prosecutors. Jury deliberations in this historic trial have at times been as contentious as some of the proceedings The Justice Department indicted Stevens on July 29, and the Alaska Republican took a huge legal gamble and asked for a speedy trial in order to resolve the charges before Election Day. Judge Emmet Sullivan complied with Stevens' request, and in less than three months from the time of his indictment, Stevens was found guilty.'"

Comments

Hey Ted, maybe you can understand this

[Anonymous Coward]

Prison, it's not like a big building, it's more like a series of cubes.

Re:Hey Ted, maybe you can understand this

[Anonymous Coward]

I didn't think it was possible to shoot halloween candy out one's nose, but you AC, have proven me wrong.

Re:Hey Ted, maybe you can understand this

[Anonymous Coward]

it's more like a series of cubes.

in the shape of a bar of soap?

Re:Hey Ted, maybe you can understand this

[spintriae]

Old Ted had better be watching his ass, lest his own tubes get clogged.

Re:Hey Ted, maybe you can understand this

[iminplaya]

He can always call Joe the plumber.

Jail: "Just A Series of Bars"

[KnowledgeEngine]

I can forsee the senator saying that his jailtime will be much like living normal life, but behind a series of bars connected together. I look forward to his jailing, so I can enjoy more humorous remarks about the particular "Series of Bars" he is behind at any given time.

Re:Jail: "Just A Series of Bars"

[hondo77]

I mean, really, why else would he want to have the trial finished before the election?

+1 Evil genius

Does he have to pay

[seanadams.com]

for his own rape kit?

Welcome to PMITA Federal Prison...

[nweaver]

A scene a few months from now:

Hello senator. Congratulations on being reelected dispite being a convicted felon. I hope you enjoy serving your remaining term in PMITA Federal Prsion. Have a nice day.

Re:But Colin Powell!

[Jeremiah Cornelius]

Agreed. Maybe he can join Stevens in the pen, someday.

A Senator in the Fed Pen? he's going to come face to face with a whole new series of tubes!

Dear Ted:

[Anonymous Coward]

Have fun at Gitmo.

Cordially,
Kilgore Trout

a series of TOOLS

[Rick Bentley]

Congress is a series of tools. Each one 2-4 years long. I guess this one was older and rustier than most.

Re:Meet the new Senator, same as the old Senator..

[Maguscrowley]

I'd vote for the sled dog. They're so cute and cuddly and can't possibly produce any legislation more stupid then some human politicians I'm aware of.

Still, a few well placed biskets, or a good scratch behind the ear, could lead to a bad corruption scandal.

Totally Tubular!

[WillAffleckUW]

Or, in non-geek-speak, GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!

I hope they sentence him to 40 years hard-wiring routers ....

Re:Duh

[morgan_greywolf]

Well, see, Ted doesn't think that Americans, whose hard-earned tax dollars paid for those oil company incentives, were smart enough to catch him. No, rather than thinking of Americans as citizens, he understands them as a series of boobs.
 

Re:Meet the new Senator, same as the old Senator..

[feed_me_cereal]

you sound like a cubs fan

I apologize in advance

[Anonymous Coward]

So he's going to be having a problem with a series of pubes, huh?