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How Vampire Bats Evolved To Live On Blood Alone

Posted by samzenpus on from the I-vant-to-suck-your-blood dept.

New research has discovered some of the genetic changes that allowed vampire bats to live on a diet of pure blood. One of the bats' most important evolutionary traits is the ability to manipulate an anticoagulant protein in their blood and saliva. In humans similar proteins protect against heart attack by breaking up blood clots and clearing vessels.

26 of 82 comments (clear)

  1. Simple Really by eldavojohn · · Score: 5, Funny

    They just needed to pass the BAR exam.

    --
    My work here is dung.
    1. Re:Simple Really by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Oh c'mon, knock it off! As if bats don't have a bad enough image as it is :(

    2. Re:Simple Really by R2.0 · · Score: 5, Funny

      HEY - my wife's a lawyer! How dare you compare her to a bloodsucking...

      Nevermind.

      --
      "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
    3. Re:Simple Really by bluefoxlucid · · Score: 4, Funny

      If you're lucky, your wife is good at sucking...

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      Support my political activism on Patreon.
    4. Re:Simple Really by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      ... if it weren't for the sharp teeth, you would be right

  2. Let's do some REAL science. by snowraver1 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Who care? What we all really want to know is how Batman evolved from human to hero. Are the tights the key?

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    1. Re:Let's do some REAL science. by Drooling+Iguana · · Score: 5, Funny

      That, and a steady supply of underage circus performers.

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      ... I'm addicted to placebos
    2. Re:Let's do some REAL science. by Chris+Burke · · Score: 4, Funny

      God damnit, so close and I'm stuck with this stupid butler trained in holistic medicine!

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
  3. Simple. by grub · · Score: 5, Funny


    "They live on blood because that's how God designed them!"
    Sarah Palin

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    Trolling is a art,
    1. Re:Simple. by R2.0 · · Score: 5, Funny

      I swear, half of Slashdot is secretly hoping McCain wins, because if he loses, they won't have anything to post.

      --
      "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
    2. Re:Simple. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      If he loses, we won't be able to cry ourselves to sleep anymore.

    3. Re:Simple. by Chris+Burke · · Score: 2, Funny

      I swear, half of Slashdot is secretly hoping McCain wins, because if he loses, they won't have anything to post.

      I'm not worried, since Palin has promised to continue providing us with material in either case.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
  4. Off Topic by Number6.2 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Fly, my Children! FLY! Bwaha ha ah ah ha ha ha ah ah ha!

    --
    "If god did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him" --Voltaire
  5. Re:What it should be. by MBGMorden · · Score: 4, Funny

    How about they do something useful and give us immortality and the strength of 20 dudes and all the other cool abilities? Then I'll be impressed, oh yeah and none of the weaknesses.

    Hell I honestly think I could live with the weaknesses if it meant immortality.

    I mean seriously what do vampires have against them? An inability to interact with religious objects, an aversion to sunlight, no reflection, and they can't eat garlic?

    I'd bet that 1 and 2 aren't an issue for most Slashdotters anyways, and most probably don't care about their own reflection either (heck usually when I see mine it's a glare on my screen so if I didn't show up then all the better). The garlic thing might be an issue, but I'm sure me and Papa John's could work something out.

    --
    "People who think they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do."-Mark Twain
  6. Re:What it should be. by nomadic · · Score: 2, Funny

    Did you show your wife this comment?

  7. Re:What it should be. by Billhead · · Score: 2, Funny

    As if you go out in the sun much anyways.

  8. Re:What it should be. by R2.0 · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Or just make all the women look like Kate Beckinsale. Being bitten on the neck is a small price to pay for my wife having that body."

    Yeah, but you also get made into her slave and enter into a life of servitude...oh, wait...

    --
    "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
  9. Re:What it should be. by R2.0 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "That's a detail that seems to be missing from most vampire movies."

    I'm sure Ann Rice covered watersports somewhere in her books.

    --
    "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
  10. how do they get away with it? by Khashishi · · Score: 4, Funny

    Mosquitos have stealth going for them, but I really don't understand how a bat is gonna feed on a mammal without getting beaten off. I mean, you can't really not notice a one-ounce hairy beast sucking on your neck and pissing on you at the same time. If a bat tried to feed on me, I'd pound it to a pulp.

    1. Re:how do they get away with it? by onkelonkel · · Score: 2, Funny

      Some animals sleep.

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      None of them can see the clouds; The polished wings don't care.
    2. Re:how do they get away with it? by MaxwellEdison · · Score: 2, Funny

      They feed while their prey is sleeping. If you don't believe me, ask the one waiting on the back of your curtains.

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      -=Bang Bang=-
    3. Re:how do they get away with it? by c0ck_l0rge · · Score: 2, Funny

      As a fellow mammal, I know that getting beaten off would make me go away..

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      nothin' sounds quite like an 808
    4. Re:how do they get away with it? by gardyloo · · Score: 2, Funny

      As a fellow mammal, I know that getting beaten off would make me go away.

      No way. You'd just roll over and fall asleep.

  11. Re:What it should be. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    not to mention all that iron... geez, it must be a sad part of the day when they have to go #2

  12. Re:What it should be. by jonaskoelker · · Score: 2, Funny

    No garlic? Count me out!

    Wait, are you saying that's why I'm such a "hit" at parties?

  13. Re:What it should be. by tngaijin · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hell I honestly think I could live with the weaknesses if it meant immortality.

    I mean seriously what do vampires have against them? An inability to interact with religious objects, an aversion to sunlight, no reflection, and they can't eat garlic?

    I'd bet that 1 and 2 aren't an issue for most Slashdotters anyways, and most probably don't care about their own reflection either (heck usually when I see mine it's a glare on my screen so if I didn't show up then all the better). The garlic thing might be an issue, but I'm sure me and Papa John's could work something out.

    "Just send over a delivery guy with marinara sauce, pepperoni and cheese on his neck please."