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Grandma's On the Computer Screen This Thanksgiving
Pickens writes "Video calling, long anticipated by science fiction, is filtering into everyday use, and two demographic groups not usually thought of as high-tech are among the earliest adopters — the nursery school set and their grandparents. According to the AARP, nearly half of American grandparents live more than 200 miles from at least one of their grandchildren, and about two-thirds of grandchildren see one set of grandparents only a few times a year, if that. Internet companies are also promoting video chat as an enhancement to standard IM and Internet phone services; for example, this month Google introduced bare-bones video capability in Gmail. Some veterans of the technology fear that the video cam has started to substitute, rather than supplement, actual time together. And no one quite knows what it means to a generation of 2-year-olds to have slightly pixelated versions of their grandparents as regular fixtures in their lives."
Video calling is more of gimmick for mobile devices IMHO. When 3G first came out here in France, my wife & I got two GSMs that had video calling. We used it twice as a gimmick, then just never bothered again.
It's different in a business context, but there again, the video part seems always to be sued to slow slides rather than faces. Good advice that I've always followed is 'meet the people in real life first' before you try doing anything significant via videoconf - or even a normal call.
Finally, what may propel uptake by the kids and elders is simplicity. My elderly mther did not use Skype until I bought her a cordless skypephone that 'just works' (no PC required).
Webcams and software used to be a bitch to setup and use, and you had to stay stuck to the desktop PC. Plus all the conferencing s/w was incompatible.
Now my kids all have little Asus Eee PCs with Skype/MSM and integrated Wifi & Webcam, so they can wonder about the place untethered and chat with their grandparents and friends 'normally'. Interesting, though, they'll always be doing another thing at he same time - you just don't seem to get the same focused concentration on the other person with video conf.
E.M. Forster wrote a story call The Machine Stops in which humans have become so isolated as to live in individual cells with all their needs provided by machinery that delivers everything to their isolated habitats. It is considered weird to actually meet someone in person. It's a great read and the parallels to the internet are a little eerie.
Another example of a physically and emotionally disconnected population would be the Solarians from Isaac Asimov's Future History novels. They actually carried it to the point where they became extinct.
The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
My parents were abusive. Physically, emotionally, they were out there.
Highlights from my childhood include being abandon 3 miles from home, with the family dog, without a leash. I wound up taking off my shoelaces and using them for a leash.
Another time, they wanted me to eat the tomatoes in my salad. I didn't. I just hate the taste of tomatoes. Things escalated. My parents eventually decided they'd take my leather belt off and whip me with it until I caved.
The list goes on and on.
The classic "holy shit" moment would be when they decided my brother, who was in medical school at the time, wasn't spending enough time with them. So the told folks at the school they thought he was using drugs. He wasn't. But that lie nearly cost him his future career.
I was in my mid-20's before I realized that most kids aren't actively trying to commit suicide to escape their parents. I was one of the lucky ones. I got away, and I got help.
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That was all decades ago. Now, I'm a parent, and I face an awful situation: Do I cut ties with my parents, who are now grandparents? Or do I keep them in my kids lives, but at a distance?
It's not as cut & dried as you think.
If I cut my parents out of our lives, I would face a lawsuit. My parents are wealthy. I'm not.
More critically: If I cut them out, what do I do a decade from now when my kids turn 18, and my parents show up out of nowhere to give them a new car. They'll pull the o'l line: "We wanted to be there for you, giving you birthday presents, but your parents wouldn't let us."
If you have never dealt with someone who has a borderline personality disorder, or who is obsessive-compulsive about winning and quite machiavellian about it, well you are just fucking screwed.
You can't imagine the depths and degrees of the lying and manipulation that go on. It is beyond the comprehension of a sane mind.
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Video chat offers a unique opportunity. I don't have to worry about them hitting my kids. I can supervise, even record & play back, and discuss afterwards what is happening. Where they are lying. How to tell they are lying. What they hope to gain from their lies.
Besides, when they misbehave, it's a lot easier to close the laptop lid than to throw them out of the house. (Not that I wouldn't enjoy throwing them out. But doing so does set a bad example for my kids.)
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As my wife so aptly put it: "It's like going to the zoo. You don't want the tigers to come visit you..."
This is an absolute blessing on future generations. I don't usually get so excited but I sort of had a dream like this.
It's a match made in heaven. In the future, bored shitless elders - with aeons of wisdom and humility, virtually incarnated as the little angel/demon sitting on the shoulder of their penultimate biological successor as their own vessel prepares to depart. Helping with math, watching out for cars, that sort of thing.
The young in turn are turned on to the awesomeness of wisdom, experience, and respect at a crucial age, before high school destroys their morals.
It's very Being John Malkovich, it's very comforting. Yay. Maybe we can save this world and become kick-ass people, everyone of us. Let's go guys.
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