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Hippies Say WiFi Network Is Harming Their Chakras

Posted by samzenpus on from the what's-with-all-the-negative-waves dept.

Anti-Globalism writes "A group of hippies is complaining that a recently installed WiFi mesh network in the UK village of Glastonbury is causing health problems. To combat the signals from the Wi-Fi hotspots, the hippies have placed orgone generators around the antennae." Although there have been many studies that show no correlation between WiFi and health issues the hippies say, "Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man."

9 of 432 comments (clear)

  1. Shut up! by fucket · · Score: 5, Funny

    You can't own the electromagetic spectrum, man.

    1. Re:Shut up! by n0dna · · Score: 5, Funny

      "I can. But that's because I'm not a penniless hippie." /futurama

  2. Re:"Orgone Generators" by Gandalf_Greyhame · · Score: 4, Funny

    nah, I don't want to pinch them to wake them up... I want to give them a bloody good bitch slapping and tell them to get a job

    --
    I am not stubborn. I am right!
  3. Commant by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    FiWi connectians doesn't mess up your ability to think, you knough.

  4. ob: south park quote by Kierthos · · Score: 5, Funny

    hippies... hippies... they say they want to save the world, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.

    --
    Mr. Hu is not a ninja.
  5. Re:"Orgone Generators" by Architect_sasyr · · Score: 4, Funny

    Note to self: Convert doomsday device to look like a hippy "good-vibe" machine.

    --
    Me failed English...
    FreeBSD over Linux. If my comments seem odd, this may explain...
  6. Re:"Orgone Generators" by LoadWB · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have to call shenanigans on the whole "negative energy" thing.

    For one example, take a microwave oven. You put something in, turn it on, and the item cooks. That is an exhibit of POSITIVE energy flow. If you put a hippie in the microwave, the magnetron emissions does not suck the life energy out of the hippie, the hippie's life energy is released from its oppressive corporeal representation into the next higher plane. Ergo, another positive energy transfer! Come on, hippies... we are talking technology-assisted ascension!

    And TVs, radios, etc. POSITIVE energy. In all cases we are using technology to enhance nature, similarly to the way hippies use crystals, precious metals, and *ahem* herbs to enhance nature.

    Or at least that is how it works in my head.
    --
    Free Waterfall, Jr.: "We taught a lion to eat tofu!"
    Lion, sickly and emaciated: *cough* *cough*
    --
    Lur: "Ohhhh, there must've been something bad in the hippie I ate..." [/futurama]

  7. Re:"Orgone Generators" by Hal_Porter · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm sure that before they made those claims, they consulted all the sages they could find in yellow pages.

    No way man, experts and sages have all been paid off by Big WiFi.

     

    Incidentally, does anyone else find it ironic when hippies loudly proclaim that pot is harmless and then show signs of serious paranoia when they explain that it is only illegal because of some complicated conspiracy?

    --
    echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
  8. Re:"Orgone Generators" by notnAP · · Score: 5, Funny

    All energies that take wave form are positive.

    And then, they're negative.

    And then, they're positive.

    And then, they're negative.

    And then, they're positive.

    And then, they're negative.

    And then, they're positive.

    And then, they're negative.

    And then, they're positive.
    ...

    Some make these transformations wicked fast.