Star Trek Fragrances

An anonymous reader writes "I am a trek fan and excited about the new movie, but this is too much. From the Trek Movie Article: 'Genki Wear, known for its licensed science fiction jewelry and perfumes, has produced what might be the most unusual Star Trek product ever: Star Trek colognes and perfume based on the original 1960s television show. ... There are three fragrances planned for 2009 with the monikers 'Tiberius," "Red Shirt" and "Ponn Farr."'" Are they telling us we stink?

Comments

At Least It's Humorous

[eldavojohn]

*squirts some "Red Shirt" cologne on himself*

You smell that? That's ambergris from the original humpback whales they used in Star Trek IV:The Voyage Home.

I will admit, though I hate the idea, at least the "Red Shirt" has some humor to it--the box has "Red Shirt: Because tomorrow may never come" on it. And the article subtitles the picture with "Live every day as if it could be your last, with 'Red Shirt' cologne." The hilarious marketing slogans basically write themselves though:

• Be the first to investigate a hostile planet--and smell good doing it with Red Shirt cologne!
• Let that blood sucking vampire cloud know how you roll with the wafting fragrance of Rid Shirt cologne!
• Go out in style with the scent of Red Shirt cologne!
• If they don't remember your name, at least they'll remember how you smelled--like Red Shirt cologne.
• etc.

Re:At Least It's Humorous

[TTURabble]

Be the first to get shot down in flames with Red Shirt cologne!

At the Bar:
Tiberius: Look at those women, my...god, I'll...need a...wingman. Red Shirt, accompany my away team.
Red Shirt: Aw Crap.

Re:At Least It's Humorous

[Shakrai]

Tiberius: Look at those women, my...god, I'll...need a...wingman. Red Shirt, accompany my away team.

What makes you think Denny Crane or James T. Kirk need a wingman to pick up chicks? ;)

Re:At Least It's Humorous

[sunami88]

Eau de la Vag Vert!

Why was that the first place my mind went? I can picture the ad campaign now, "Is your man a Star Trek nerd? Has he always wanted to boldly go where no man has gone before? To seek out new life, and fuck it? Well now he can experience all the extraterrestrial aromas with *dramatic pause*, Eau de la Vag Vert!"

Maybe I should seek professional help. Anyone got Deanna Troi's number? :P.

Re:At Least It's Humorous

[InsertWittyNameHere]

If you're going to boldly go where no man has gone before, you wanna smell like it.

Re:At Least It's Humorous

[PrescriptionWarning]

Be the first to get Snu-Snu'd to death by large amazonian planet women due to smelling of Red Shirt cologne!

Re:At Least It's Humorous

[morgan_greywolf]

*squirts some "Red Shirt" cologne on himself*

Here, let my try some of that.

spray

Hmmm...smells pretty g

Re:At Least It's Humorous

[Kozz]

Oh, sure. Leave out TJ Hooker.

Re:At Least It's Humorous

[ring-eldest]

That's what the transporter is for. Beam her up, Scotty. Leave the dress.

Eau de Janeway drives me crazy

[BadAnalogyGuy]

You fanbois can keep your Jolene Blalock and Jeri Ryan.

Give me Kate Mulgrew any day. I'd pilot my shuttle into her delta quadrant any day.

Re:Eau de Janeway drives me crazy

[Shakrai]

I'd pilot my shuttle into her delta quadrant any day.

Until she opens her mouth. You'd think with 24th century medical technology they could cure smokers voice.....

Re:Eau de Janeway drives me crazy

[drewvr6]

That used to be called "sultry" in B.P.C. (Before Political Correctness). Of course smoking used to be cool in movies. Now organizations count the number of light-ups in each film. "Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the cough.".

Re:Eau de Janeway drives me crazy

[pandrijeczko]

Not that I think it's disgusting in the first place but there's nothing to say he's not a "senior Slashdotter" of a similar age to Kate Mulgrew... she's only 53 years old after all...

I'm 47 for heaven's sake! Not all Slashdotters are spotty teenagers or whiny CompSci graduates...

Re:Eau de Janeway drives me crazy

[rich3rd]

Bringing this back on-topic, I feel exactly the same way about perfume. All I want is to breathe clean air, but every time I go out in public some asshole has to ruin it for me. What the fuck makes people think they have the right to pollute my personal airspace with that obnoxious garbage? Every time some Axe-boy walks past and fills my nostrils with the reek of synthetic male puberty pheromones I have to stifle a very strong primal urge to snap their scrawny neck like a toothpick. When I finally do crack and go off on my rampage, my defense will be chemically-induced temporary insanity. The first one to go will be the one who calls me a "whiner" or some such; then I will give them something to whine about for the last few seconds of their life.

Ponn Farr..

[bossanovalithium]

Because once every seven years means you have to smell as good as you possibly can before embarking upon a hormone filled sexual conquest fest. Might not stand up in court...

Orion slave girls

[WidescreenFreak]

Hey, whatever gets me some hot Orion slave girls works for me, particularly this Dabo girl turned Orion slave girl.

Species?

[Midnight Thunder]

I we sure these are designed to attract the female of the human species?

Re:Species?

[ReiDragon]

Jack harkness? Is that you?

I wonder

[TheP4st]

Will it help me "assimilating" Seven of Nine?

Re:I wonder

[Anonymous Coward]

Looking for an opportunity to use your nanoprobe?

Re:I wonder

[DarthVain]

even better name... Chanel No. 7 of 9

lol, this shit writes itself!

Re:I wonder

[DarthVain]

or simply "Borg" with fancy umlauts over the "o" to make it seem European.

As Checkov Would Say

[Slightly Askew]

Are they telling us we stink?

Perhaps you have heard Russian epic of Cinderella? If shoe fits, wear it!

Geeks are reknowned for their bathing abilities...

[VShael]

And their showering frequency.

Why every morning, the average Trek geek steps into his shower, hums the Trek theme loudly for 60 seconds, and calls that a sonic shower.

Water hardly ever comes into it.

They call it Ponn Farr

[FlyingSquidStudios]

but it smells like Horta with just a touch of Targh...

Red Shirt

[RevWaldo]

Le Nez - And here's our latest mixture for Red Shirt. Have a whif and tell me what you pick up on.
Marketing Exec - Let's see.. - burning flesh and polyester?
L - Quite right. And?
M - Cold sweat.
L - Anything else?
M - I'm thinking..a hint of self-defecation?
L - Excellent! We also included some sagebrush to give it that "stuck on a barren desert planet" air.

red shirt-

[way2trivial]

for when you really expect to get shot down

Vulcan One-Night Stand

[Enderandrew]

Ponn-Farr and Away

Missing option:

[Junior J. Junior III]

I want Khan musk.

Re:Fine Print

[th0mas_g]

Unfortunately, all it does is make you go crazy and throw soup bowls at your sympathetic nurse.

All have that unmistakable hint of ....

[PPH]

...your parents basement.

I can see how this went...

[that IT girl]

Clearly, someone was tired of standing around at sci-fi conventions where everybody smells. They might not shower, they might not buy regular cologne, but they'll buy STAR TREK COLOGNE! :D

Genius. Especially since people will undoubtedly want to "collect the whole set" (granted there are only two at the moment). PROFIT!