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WHO Raises Swine Flu Threat Level
Solarch writes "Late in the afternoon on Wednesday, the WHO raised the pandemic threat level for H1N1 "swine flu" to 5. Global media outlets(such as CNN, Fox News, and the BBC) preempted normal broadcast coverage and immediately published stories on their websites. To clarify, the WHO's elevation is mainly a sign to governments that the virus is spreading quickly and that steps should be taken on a governmental level to stage supplies and medicines to combat a possible pandemic. Unfortunately, broadcast coverage focused on phrases like 'pandemic imminent' (CNN marquee).
In other news, patient zero, the medical term for the initial human vector of a disease, has been tentatively identified in Mexico."
Who does raise the swine flu threat level?
""Late in the afternoon on Wednesday, the WHO raised the pandemic threat level for H1N1 "swine flu" to 5."
Wow. I knew they had good music but I did not know Peter Townshend was in charge of changing pandemic threat levels.
Yes! I listen to NYC Speedcore and do math at 3AM. I suggest you try it too.
> Would hate to die of Swine Flu, just because of what it's called... and all that it
> would imply if I caught it...
Then call it Mexican flu.
Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
Nigel Tufnel: You see, most organizations, you know, will be warning at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your warning. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One warninger.
The media can do what they will with this non-story.
I'm safe - I don't believe in that e-vo-lution crap, so this new disease could not have evolved from swine! It's all just pig nonsense.
I'm going back to prepare a round of raw bacon sushi!
I have no problem with your religion until you decide it's reason to deprive others of the truth.
Bah, we all should know this "swine flu" is actually a well orchestrated distraction from our real threat.
ZOMBIES!
Fear not the Swine Flu pandemic. Fear instead the imminent Zombie pandemic.
Unless of course this is just phase 1...
Would hate to die of Swine Flu, just because of what it's called... and all that it would imply if I caught it...
You're thinking of Swine Syphillis.
Now that's just insulting.
The Stonecutters!
I was once a horse.
Don't kid yourself, slashdot-netizen, chances are you don't get enough human interaction or even sunlight to risk infection. You're as good as immune.
It's the Aporkalypse!
SHUT! DOWN! EVERYTHING!
For example, Madagascar has just closed its seaport. And here I was, so close, to winning :(
Damn Congress, we told them to cut the pork, and the jerks bring the plague on the House instead.
Fuck systemd. Fuck Redhat. Fuck Soylent, too. Wait, scratch the last one.
That page is riddled with [citation needed]. It doesn't exactly inspire confidence.
That's actually what Israel is calling it. I guess "swine flu" isn't kosher.
...the future crusty old bastards are already drinking the Kool-Aid.
> Would hate to die of Swine Flu, just because of what it's called... and all that it
> would imply if I caught it...
Then call it Mexican flu.
That's better?
This is how it always starts...
There is no clear, obvious reason for a higher morality rate across Mexico, including and especially in the downtown Mexico City hospitals, than in the US.
Well I heard that the hospital gowns in Mexico actually close in the back and cover the ass completely. If that isn't reason for a higher morality rate, then I don't know what would be...
And all organic.
As a bonus, it's "green". Anyone who succumbs to this will naturally reduce their carbon footprint.
This issue is a bit more complicated than you think.
Some doc posted some information on Boing Boing, they don't believe that swine flu is causing Cytokine Storms.
Info here
I think we'll be safe from an Aporkalypse.
The Dr and Rose appear on a spaceship cunningly disguised as a planet only to find there's a mysterious disease that's killing spectacularly low numbers of people who all happen to live in the same city. Normally he wouldn't worry about it but Rose manages to get infected so the Dr raises the threat level to OMG. He works night and day to find a cure only to be forced to infect himself, die from the disease, but not really as his seemingly magic, but really explainable in materialistic terms, Time Lord powers cause him to regenerate in the form of Tom Baker.
He draws some of his own blood with his sonic screwdriver and, treats Rose, who makes a full recovery. As a gesture of good will, and for the episode to end on a relative high note (despite Tom Baker's haggard appearance), he takes the TARDIS into a low "earth" orbit and sprays the serum into the jet stream, thus curing and inoculating most of the world. The Dr and Rose leave for better times.
Just moments later the Vogons appear and destroy the world to make way for hyperspace bypass.
I guess we need the help of The Doctor, and Martha Jones. If it spreads to Wales, then Torchwood can help.
Swine flu is a horrible name.
I'm going to call it "bacon lung".
Everything's better with bacon.
Just make sure you don't get caught downloading the iraq war. With all the money they put into it, I don't think they'd be happy to find it being torrented.
The shareholder is always right.
So long as this is going on, I'll make sure to was my hands with soap and water after using the bathroom, to try to avoid sick people, and to go to health services if I start showing flu-like symptoms
it might be a wise idea to do these things even when you're not in the epicenter of a hot zone
You mean herpes is kosher, so they don't have to change its name?
You really have to be Jewish to realize what an idiot this guy is. But if you're not, you can sort of get the idea.
Sounds like a Mexican standoff with the religious party!
You call it swine flu.
I call it weaponized bacon.
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beware he who would deny you access to information, for in his mind he dreams himself your master
Ring a ring of nachos
A pocket full of tissues
Arriba Arriba
We all fall down.