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Duke Nukem For Never
PLSQL Guy writes "Duke Nukem Forever developer 3D Realms is shutting down, according to Shacknews. They cite 'a reliable source close to the company,' who said the developer is finished and employees have already been let go. It looks like all of the Duke Nukem Forever jokes are turning into reality; DNF might turn out to be the ultimate vaporware after all."
3D Realms' webmaster, Joe Siegler, confirmed the closing, saying that he didn't know about it even a day beforehand. Apogee and Deep Silver, who are working on a different set of Duke Nukem games (referred to as the Duke Nukem Trilogy) say they are not affected by the problems at 3D Realms.
Sounds like they are all outta gum
Will they be shutting down the coming next 10 years?
SCNR...it is bad for the devs at 3d, but still...it opens a whole new series of jokes.
scheuri
yeah, well you can go to hell. Thank God Duke Nukem Forever was never released. If they had "competent managers" as you call them, we probably would have had a laughable pile of shit for an FPS released under the title that will forever have soiled Duke's reputation, which I foresee happening under Take-Two.
Well, long live the DNF April Fools Jokes.
There've been calls to open-source the game.
Why ? There is already better open source vaporware - Hurd. Though I must admit that DNF has a much cooler mascot with Duke.
Perhaps Duke can become the mascot of Hurd now ?
He is free... for other vaporware.
I hope the project lead burns the building down in a desperate effort to destroy what of the project is done. The bastardisation of Duke Nukem Forever, in my opinion, would be an unforgivable offence, and we know Take-Two's ripe to do it too.
I wish we all would have hurd that a long time ago, as to not get our hopes up.
Old answer: "When it's done."
New answer: "No, we are done."
"Die endgueltige Teilung Deutschlands - das ist unser Auftrag." - Chlodwig Poth
This is like the vatican coming out and saying "Shows over people, no second coming. Sorry, pack it up and go home."
What ridiculous mythical everpresent promise are we going to look forward to now?
A bullet may have your name on it but splash damage is addressed "To whom it may concern."
Damn... 13 years of development down the drain.
hail to the king baby
...
I guess the Hurd has a chance to beat Duke Nukem Forever to 1.0, after all! Who woulda thunk it?
we aint even on the same plane here man. Duke Nukem isn't something to trifle with, if you're putting out THE Duke title of all time, you gotta do it right, and if that means scrapping everything multiple times over a span of time larger than a decade, you do it. Some things are more important than time and money, Duke Nukem is one of these things.
I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going to repent all of my sins and start frequenting a church, hopefully when I die, Duke Nukem Forever will be waiting for me on God's Commodore 64.
I always thought Guns 'n' Roses was DNF's main competition in the Vaporware Wars Of 1994-2009. :)
I honestly never thought Axl would ship his album first for the win, but, here we are.
Guinness World Records reports that the long-standing record for constant masturbation previously held by Gooey, a chimpanzee at the Buffalo Zoo, in what was thought to be an unbreakable grip, was "overcome in one magnificent stroke" by the DNF team at 3D Realms.
The sheer magnificence of the accomplishment has moved a Guinness spokesman to suggest that DNF has actually outgrown the term "vapourware", and become something else entirely. He suggests a new definition, "spankerware", be coined to cummemorate this astounding, 12-year feat of dong-flogging. "If this were an anniversary, the appropriate gift would be linen...and lots of it", the spokesman said.
I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
I'm here to kick ass and fund development!
And I'm all out of funds.
Hello, I am Fox News. I want to hire you to write some more funny news titles for me. When would you like to start?
The Sticky Issue - My TF2 Blog
What a shocker. Not.
Apparently, you retained some of your witticisms from when you were 15, as well. That's da bomb!!
Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure everything I just said is completely wrong.
You were dedicating neurons to this? You need to get out more.
No sig today...
to write code and chew bubble gum; and I'm all out of gum...
"Deep Silver and Apogee Software are not affected by the situation at 3D Realms. Development on the Duke Nukem Trilogy is continuing as planned."
There's a plan to this project?
Wouldn't it be hilarious if the turned round in a month and said "Fooled you here it is!!!".
-1 disagree is not a modifier for a reason. -1 troll, flamebait, redundant, overrated are NOT acceptable substitutes.
This has got me all nostalgic, so I loaded up Duke Nukem 3D to pay my last respects. But when I try to run it, I keep getting this message:
SecureROM Activation Failed: Could not connect to the 3drealms activation server.
What does it mean??
Take off every Sig. For great justice.
They'll botch up this too, if asked about when they are shutting down they'll say 'When it does'
After logging in slashdot still does not take you back to the page you were on. It's been that way for 20 years.
With such an acronym as the abbreviated name of the game, who could have expected anything less, to be honest? Maybe it was just a practical joke all along!
Yeah, I mean, I read "DNF" and I'm like Disjunctive Normal Form ? Ha, what kind of name is that !
*chuckles*
aha... okay, stop staring at me, guys ?
FTFY: The duke is dead... hail to the duke baby
My first program:
Hell Segmentation fault
I would like to reiterate http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=1220783&cid=27813603
The vapor that I long for most
The Duke, the Wolf*,
And the Starcraft: Ghost
They saw their code build
So they'd boast
The day
Their sche-----dule died.
And Duke was saying:
(Chorus)
bye, bye
Eat some shit and then die
... apparently, writing code isn't as easy as (American) Pie :)
I take it the developers have plenty of gum.
"Install the Hurd NOW, or I'm gonna rip off your head and shit down your throat."
I thought it was "Do Not Fold" - which is normally stamped on packages containing CDs or other fragile media, and indeed, it seems that DNF are folding :)
"Did not Finish" makes much more sense though.
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for being subtle.
GPL v. 2 isn't bad, just outdated.
As opposed to GPL v. 3, which isn't good, just new.
The FSF will take over the project, call it Duke Gnukem Forever, and make it the killer app for Hurd.
Perhaps the projects could merge. HIRD of Users Reviving Duke?
God tried Linux, but couldn't find the drivers for his wireless. He keeps trying, but I don't think he has a prayer.
rewriting history since 2109
Hmm, getting paid for 15 years to produce nothing of value (as far as we can tell)... sounds like job security to me!
"Action without philosophy is a lethal weapon; philosophy without action is worthless."
The way I see it, they've produced exactly two games over the last five years, according to WP (Prey and some variants of Duke Nukem). Nothing to do with being nice to your employees. The bottom line is that just two releases won't keep your business in business. Which probably boils down to management issues, yeah.
MMO Vampire Role Playing
But, of course, it must have a silly cutesey name like the "Dukey".
> no, yes, maybe (tagging beta)
Besides Bloussard in his blog mentioned that the check list of undone/buggy stuff for DNF has/had only 24 objectives left.
23. ?????
24. PROFIT!
Duke Nukem rips off your head and craps in your neck. You are stunned: HP -18
Duke Nukem craps in your neck: HP: -9
Duke Nukem craps in your neck: HP: -9
Duke Nukem craps in your neck: HP: -9
You flail your limp wristed pansy fist unconvincingly at the Duke: You miss.
Duke Nukem craps in your mouth: HP: -9
You are dead.
Your spirit rises slowly from your defecated corpse.
Duke rips off your ghost's head and craps in your ghostly neck: XP: -100
Duke rips off your ghost's head and craps in your ghostly neck: XP: -100
Duke rips off your ghost's head and craps in your ghostly neck: XP: -100
Duke rips off your ghost's head and craps in your ghostly neck: XP: -100
Duke rips off your ghost's head and craps in your ghostly neck: XP: -100
Your XP has dropped below 0.
Deleting player account
Goodbye
connection to dnfMUD has been terminated
I have to admit, that's the most hilarious insult I've heard all month. Bravo sir.
I mean, this guy actually did work at 3DRealms and this is his blog, but seriously, CliffyB and Marc Rein threatening developers with broken chairs? Tim Sweeny tackling people and holding them down for gang beatings?
Pshaw! Thats nothing compared to what EA does to their employees.
Do you think its easy to code with broken thumbs?
"I am the king of the Romans, and am superior to rules of grammar!"
-Sigismund, Holy Roman Emperor (1368-1437)
Sometimes one should just product out the door, but other times one should use the preview button a bit more diligently ;-)
Guns don't kill people; Physics kills people! - John Lithgow as Dick Solomon on Third Rock From The Sun
I thought it was Did Not Finish...
Oddly it makes sense...
DNF DNF. Did Not Finish Duke Nukem Forever...
DNF Squared I guess.
So while Crap normally means deification...
Wow, I've heard of kids flushing lots of stuff down toilets, I never realized people tried to flush gods as well!
Crap normally means deification
I have no humorous quip to add do this, but it stands on its own =)
Your brain is not a computer.
Duke Nuken Forever
1997 - 2009
tl;dnf
Next time they might want to consider putting two developers on the project.
Wanted: witty unique signature. Must be willing to relocate.
So while Crap normally means deification it has been expanded to anything so worthless that it needs to be disposed of as soon as possible.
Crap means "deification" to you? Man, you've got a weird theology. Are the 2 Girls and One Cup considered holy artifacts?
(-1, Raw and Uncut is the only way to read)
Duke Nukem Forever is dead... But look forward to Duke Nukem Forever: The Movie
Maybe they'll make a game to tie-in with the movie.
You don't get graded on obscure abbreviations in English classes.
Site is slashdotted. Or just offline due to bankrupcy.
"Install the Hurd NOW, or I'm gonna rip off your head and shit
down your throat."
That's actually a pretty hard choice.