How Do IT Guys Get Respect and Not Become BOFHs?

An anonymous reader writes "I work for a small software company (around 60 people) as the sole IT guy. It's my first time in a position like this and after about 1.5 years I'm starting to get a bit burned out. I try to be friendly, helpful, and responsive and I get no respect whatsoever. Users tend to be flat-out rude when they have a problem, violate our pretty liberal policies constantly, and expect complex projects to be finished immediately upon requesting them. My knee-jerk reaction is to be a bastard, although I've avoided it up to this point. It's getting harder. For those of you who have been doing this a lot longer, how do you get a reasonable level of respect from your users while not being a jerk?"

Comments

lmgtfy

[beefsprocket]

I've sent a few of the tougher cases to http://lmgtfy.com/ Usually that smartens them up a bit without having to have too many words ;)

Re:lmgtfy

[Goldberg's Pants]

And if they don't get the hint, try this less subtle one.

Re:lmgtfy

[BrokenHalo]

Sometimes terrorism works...

...like locking the volume on their machine at max and setting their screensaver to play "badger badger mushroom mushroom" after 30 seconds' inactivity. If anyone calls to complain, just tell them that it doesn't do that if they keep working... >:-D

Re:lmgtfy

[UncHellMatt]

I work as the lone IT person in a police department. It's remarkable how much more patient and calm one can be with lusers who are A) Armed and B) Much, much bigger than me.

That said, in this position I gained some semblance of respect from my users by doing several things many people don't "teach" you. First and foremost, I set boundaries. If someone calls me in the middle of the night (being a 24/7 "shop", that sort of thing is inevitable), and it's for something like they can't print, I tell them that I'll help them when I get in, and let them know that while I don't mind that they called me, try to keep it to emergencies. Also, I made sure that the supervisors (shift sergeants) were aware of what would count as an emergency, and we talked that over. Maybe what THEY view as an emergency I wouldn't, and vice versa. Another important thing, I go by "when in Rome". Cops are a very, very different breed of user. Most I wouldn't trust with anything more complex than an abacus and smoke signals, and even then I would want someone standing by with a fire extinguisher. So I try to keep as many processes as I can as simple as I can. In other environments I've worked, when managing a network for a software development house, it was simple: I made everything as obfuscated as possible and then had 20 pages of documentation for every 2 steps taken in a process.

OK, I kid (sorta) on that last bit. But the point is, try to style your IT work to fit the people you're dealing with.

What I'm saying is don't let people walk all over you. Demand some respect. If you come over to someone's desk to help them, and they're treating you like some drive through window fast food help, walk away, and tell their supervisor you want to be treated with a little more kindness before you'll deal with them again. You don't need to electrocute users in order to gain that respect, though it IS a more fun method.

Be firm..

[Anonymous Coward]

Be firm, but don't be a jerk. Be reasonable, and honest - justify and explain. In writing if it helps. Just don't promise more than you can deliver, and be explicitly clear about the complexity of solutions.

Re:Be firm..

[frank_adrian314159]

Be reasonable, and honest - justify and explain.

And then, if they still bother you, shoot them.

Re:Be firm..

[Sfing_ter]

Please do not lie to the lad. Even after he has done ALL OF THAT, it will:
a) still be his fault email doesn't work and
b) no they didn't make any changes to ANY settings
c) still be his fault the computers don't work right

People fear what they do not understand, yes there will be that one person in 50 who actually gets it and can actually do things but they are only there to keep you going. I have seen the very best natured, good hearted individual turn into a BOFH, contributor to Work or Spoon, and all around terse individual - when he is working. He is fine when he is off work. It took 2 years for that to happen and I actually didn't think it would... but alas, intelligent people will only suffer fools for so long...

Re:Be firm..

[ikono]

Problem is, it takes a sense of logic to appreciate a sense of logic. Most of the people referring to IT do not have that sense. They justify their demands by reasoning that

"oh, those IT fuckers are too damn lazy. They say they have a thousand open tickets, but they really only have 2 or 3."

Or

"They are too lazy to address those tickets fast enough."

Or maybe they just fall back on the old standby

"MY request more important than those others. do mine first."

There is only so much one can take before their logic circuits get overloaded, and they default to the Jackass Mentality.

Re:Be firm..

[Anonymous Coward]

Have lunch together with your colleagues, instead of eating a sandwich at your desk.
That makes you seem more like a human than a utility.

Re:Be firm..

[Sobrique]

Wish I had mod points, because your comment is insightful. If you 'keep the distance' from your colleagues, you'll gain hate, because people don't understand computers or you. If you have lunch with them, then you'll know them personally, and they'll feel a little more comfortable about talking to you about little IT problems, which have been annoying them.
Alternatively, make a point of going for a walk around each of the departments you support EVERY day, to say 'hi' and maybe see if everything's ok.
In my experience, most of the frustration with 'IT' is very often trivial problems, that escalate until they get annoyed enough to go see IT about it. By having a walk 'round the site, you'll spot these, have a bit of a chat, pick up on the 'my mouse is a bit odd' type problems, and get 'em sorted proactively. It sounds like slacking off - and to be fair, it is, sort of - but it's the kind that will end up with your IT department appreciated and welcomed. Call it 'user support clinic' or something, if you need to justify it.
It will also let you see the smouldering before a fire breaks out that you'll have to go pounce on and fix - usually users will be bitching to each other about something being 'a bit flakey' long before it gets to IT as a critical fault.

Re:Be firm..

[dkleinsc]

This is really the key right there: For most people, someone they know personally that fixes their problems is friendly and helpful. Someone they don't know personally that fixes their problems gets about the same level of respect and attention as their plumber.

The other related techniques are:
1. Learn to speak in their language, rather than speaking your language. If they call it a "whizbang", call it a "whizbang" when you're around them, even if they're wrong. At the very least, avoid computer-speak as much as possible.
2. Use their name. If you see them, say "good morning/afternoon, Bob" or something similar.
3. When you fix a problem that they can fix, you can tell them something like "next time this happens, you can try ...". Obviously, don't tell them anything that could make things worse, but learning how to clean out a mouseball or check the plugs might prevent you from getting called in and at the very least will give them something to do that feels useful while you fix the problem.

Remember than when someone contacts IT, they've gone from feeling like a capable adult to feeling like a stupid helpless child. Part of what you have to do is convince them they're a capable adult as you're fixing the problem.

Try the slow down method

[jackb_guppy]

If they are not nice, delay the response.

Nice people get fast turn responses.

Just check with your boss first.

Re:Try the slow down method

[Marful]

LOL @ Rush first...


I do estimating at my work (and also a little IT) and we used to have a system for "rush quotes" that people could submit. Over the course of a month, it turned out that every quote was a rush quote, which made the system pointless.

So, I'd be wary of instituting something with a "rush" system...

BR

Re:Try the slow down method

[Eivind]

Oh, you just need to make it clear to them in a language they understand: Money.

We've got "rush-jobs", as in "drop whatever you're doing and do this NOW" jobs.

They are charged triple the normal rate. The intention is loud and clear: If it's not important enough that you're willing to pay triple to have it fixed right-now, then it's not a rush-job.

Works fine. I seldom get more than 2-3 rush-jobs in any given month.

Re:Try the slow down method

[phantomfive]

I point it out directly, matter of factly. "That's not a very nice thing to say," or "that's not very respectful." Honestly, and not angrily. Then I wait. Awkward silence.........for them. In most cases they will get a goofy grin and say, "yeah" or something and then we are friends again. In some cases they storm out angrily, but that's their fault (what are they going to say, "he told me it wasn't a nice thing to say!!" is going to make HIM look bad, because you were just trying to help out), and suddenly there's less work for you.

If this doesn't work, it's probably because you're not respecting other people enough. Expect respect from everyone, but respect everyone as well (even if they don't deserve it).

Don't avoid it!

[Anonymous Coward]

Take pride in being the BOFH. Lusers need to be kept in check. Blog about how you've made their lives miserable.

Re:Don't avoid it!

[RogueyWon]

I've seen a couple of IT careers ruined by this attitude. In one case, getting fired was just the start of the guy's problems.

The BOFH stories are funny. Simon Travaglia writes well and manages to put out clever little satirical stories on a regular basis. He provides an ongoing wry commentary on the state of IT practices in business. He has also, albeit unintentionally, through his cultural influence in the IT world, been the driving force behind more sackings than I care to imagine.

The point that often gets lost is that his stories are fiction.

Yes, fiction.

The unpleasant fact is that in the real world, sysadmins are not generally omnipotent technical gods able to manipulate entire companies at will and escape the consequences of their actions. Nor are management always incompetent drones who will believe anything they're told provided you use big enough words to confuse them. The stereotypes may be comforting, but they're largely not true.

As I say, I've seen two cases of people getting sacked for directly BOFH-inspired behaviour. One was a guy I shared a house with for a while around 2000 or so, after graduating. He used to regale us with his own "BOFH" stories (though most of them were petty and unfunny). After just over a year, we got home one evening to find he'd been fired. He'd sent out e-mails from his boss's boss's account, designed to promote his own reputation in his company. This had, of course, gotten back to his management chain. My housemate was actually furious because he was convinced that the allegations against him couldn't be "proved". He freely admitted to us he'd done it. But it couldn't be proved, he cried. Honest. The world just wasn't supposed to work this way. He never actually went as far as trying to claim unfair dismissal. I think reality finally managed to penetrate his skull.

The second guy I saw fired I didn't know so well - rather I saw it at a distance across the organisation where I was working (in 2002). Again, he was a sysadmin (albeit one of several - this is a big organisation). He'd picked up a grudge against a non-technical member of staff and had done the classic BOFH trick of filling their file storage space with naughty pictures then reporting that he'd found them there. In BOFH land, the target would swiftly escorted off the premesis while the BOFH celebrates down at the pub. Of course, in the real world, of course, the victim protested his innocence. The employer follows proper channels and investigates. An external auditor works out exactly what's happened. The sysadmin in question is sacked. And reported to the police. And sued by his intended victim.

So yes, read the BOFH, enjoy the stories. But don't, for a moment, think they highlight an appropriate way to behave in the real world.

Patience!

[KenCrandall]

Unfortunately, IT is viewed a lot like the phones by most users. It's "invisible" when it does work, and is only a priority to them when it doesn't work (or they need something!)

I've found that the best way to make people happy is to effectively communicate with them -- especially when it comes to deadlines. Now I'm not saying to sandbag :-) but if you can over-deliver some things and/or get them done earlier than promised, then you set an expectation of success and partnership with your user base. As difficult as it is, sometimes, you MUST remain non-cranky or bitchy, or you will get stereotyped as the "grumpy IT guy" faster than you can think.

If it's really burning you out after only 1 1/2 years, then you should really look at (a) your workload (b) your choice of career and (c) your work/life balance.

Re:Patience!

[Anonymous Coward]

If you want respect you're in the wrong job. Be firm, fair and friendly but don't look for love.
Be responsive and always close the circle by telling the user what you have done for him.
Tell people what their priority is and be prepared to negotiate. Remember every time you have to do more validates your free time when things are slack.
A special request today is business-as-usual tomorrow. You are only as good as your last result.

You want the truth?

[QuantumG]

If something was working yesterday and it isn't working today, you broke it.

For example, email. Why does email go down? Why? What's so hard about running a mail server? It was working yesterday, I come in this morning, it's not working.. what did you do? Don't say you did nothing, you did. It was working. You stuck your grubby little paws in there and messed with it, didn't you? Fix it.

You can't handle the truth.

Well..

[jessejay356]

I couldn't do it, I became a programmer and now am one of the annoying people bugging our IT guy.

Teach them!

[xous]

Hi,

You need to to develop policies for handling requests and have your manager back them. You also need to make sure the employees know about these policies and understand them. You might want to see if your manager will sponsor a QA half-day with some free food so you and your users can get to know each other and understand their requirements and what you can and can't do for them.

If employee's aren't complying with these policies politely explain it to them and CC it to their manager. If they do it again reference the original email and explain the problem to the manager and remind them that you have reported this kind of activity before.

If someone asks you to skip then ahead in the queue or go against company ask them to submit the request in writing to your manager.

If you streamline the process that fits your policies and make sure they see that following the rules is faster they will be more inclined to do it.

If you can't get your manager to back you on this your SOL and should be looking for a new job.

There is a difference between being a BOFH and following company policy.

These changes will not make them respect you as these people are likely assholes to begin with and should be treated as such. I don't do favors for people that can't be bothered to show a little common courtesy and they don't end up very high on my TODO list.

Re:Teach them!

[JWSmythe]

    The last place I was at, I was driven absolutely nuts with incomplete trouble tickets by people who had no clue what they wanted.

    "I want an FTP account for a user in [city]."

    So I'd reply, give me a hint of which server, what username, what password, and why you're requesting this. Each server had dozens of machines.

    I had written up a very clear and concise list of what was expected in a ticket. That was overridden by middle management as unnecessary.

    "Can you search the Apache logs for [customer]?" That would be a customer who had a presence in several cities, and each one had several sites. No hint of what was being searched for, the date(s) to search, what server, what city, or anything more than the customer.

    And my favorite. "We need this project documented. You have 2 weeks.". That's it, no more real explanation. I'd never worked on the project. Had been categorically excluded from the project. Was not allowed to know anything about the project, and suddenly I was to recreate the project (document building each and every custom app from source), which the steps weren't documented and only vague ideas were given about any of it. I asked for information. I begged for information. I was told "This has to be done or the company won't be paid for the project." One week went by and finally information started trickling in. The last day of week 2, I had everything I needed (at like 5pm on Friday). I wrote up a 20 page document, included both sources and compiled versions, with an explanation of how things worked to the best of my understanding. I made ISO images, and put them on an internal server so the requestor could get them either that night, or Monday morning.

    "What were you thinking? Why would you make ISOs. I wanted it exactly as we'd ship to the customer." Ahhh, well beyond spec, but reading minds was part of the job, right? I can read minds, and theirs are drawing a blank most days.

    So I burnt the CD's, printed the document, put it in a FedEx envelope with a bogus shipping label, and put it in the managers chair, like it had just come in. He sat on it for two more weeks before handing it off to someone else in house to "test". A month later, he hadn't finished testing. Another week later I was told "You didn't include instructions on ...." No shit, I didn't know anything about ..... No one told me about ..... You're only coming to me now to tell me ..... exists. Why wasn't I told about this when I started, so I could complete your request. The truth? Because they don't know what they want, what any other middle manager has had someone do, or even what other departments are doing. Countless meetings all day long, and no one has a clue.

    Am I ranting?

There are many hats...

[bol]

In technology there are a lot of roles, software developers, system administrators, network administrators, project managers with technology backgrounds, etc etc etc. You sound like you might be "your company's computer guy" also known as a workstation administrator. There are as many varied roles in the workplace as there are people. Make sure not to lump it all together.

In any career there are hurdles and IT is no exception. It's important to see the path ahead of you as difficult as it may be. Most people enter into IT with a passion for computers and technology. They want to learn more, they want to be able to build bigger and better infrastructure and to knock down all obstacles in their way. You need to find your niche. Some people are software development gurus and some people understand the intricate details that bind systems together. Do you spent your evenings learning new technology and figuring out the latest and greatest?

Try not to take things personally with dealing with others. It's important not to consider anybody just a "user." You have customers. Your customers want service and it's your job to provide that service to them. Most people in IT are very standoffish, anti-social and overly opinionated. It takes awhile to adapt and adjust to actually interfacing with people. The most important attribute of any employee is communication and nobody succeeds in a vacuum. Treat your customers well and you'll get respect in return. Itâ(TM)s fine to have a preference and its fine to have opinions. Just make sure you temper them with objective thinking, facts, and (at least) the appearance of an open mind.

If this is your first IT role you may want to consider why you got into it in the first place. What's your goal? How do you see your future? I've been a system administrator for over 10 years and have made the transition to being a system architect. My goal is to design infrastructure for the biggest installations on the planet. What's yours?

Re:How do I get a reasonable level of respect?

[Kenja]

No, that will result in you being taken for granted and labeled a failure when you dont produce the same level of results at the same speed next time.

Use the Scotty principal. Estimate the time needed as three times what you expect, then when it takes you twice as long you're a genius for finishing it early.

Remember...

[Toonol]

Remember the other side of the equation. Users who have to sit for days doing nothing because their user accounts aren't set up right. Ridiculous security policies like being forced to change your password every month. Network configuration changes that break sofware they've been using for years. Pointless upgrades that add bloat and remove features.

It's tough being a user, seemingly toyed with by the IT guys.

Re:Move to a different company

[Dare nMc]

worked in my case. IE when I switched companies a year ago, the people who had respect for me before, knew enough about PC's they still got by. Those without respect got to deal with your more typical corporate IT guy (not a total bastard, but at times). The guy who disliked me the most (actually accused me of sabotaging his win 95 box from the network, to our boss, just 18 months ago) publicly wished me back.

Can't get no respect!

[zugmeister]

One thing to keep in mind is that in their eyes you are on par with the plumber. Nobody really wants to call the plumber or have him around, OTOH you really need one when the fecal matter hits the rotary air impeller. When they give you attitude they are probably angry / frustrated at their machine / server / the situation and not necessarily you specifically. If they're being really uptight when you walk in the door remind them that you've had the last 15 seconds to fix it and you're on their side.
Depending on the political situation you may be able to interject something into a company meeting explaining what's going on and get people to consider your side.
All in all, remember to keep calm and be sure this is really the right thing for you to be doing. Maybe it's time for you to make a change?

Don't do what I did!

[deets101]

I found solace in drugs, booze and hookers. This worked out great for a while. After some time (about 10 hours) it started affecting my job and personal life. I have since been fired from job, so the stress is gone. The bad thing is that now I am addicted to drugs and it burns when I piss. Oh yeah, my left me and took our kids to her mothers.

--
My parents went to slashdot and all I got was this lousy sig!

White Board

[Ozoner]

Here's what I did in that situation:

I put up a large white-board, and each time someone requested a job, I wrote it on a strip and put it at the bottom of the list.

When they complained about the delay, I pointed to the white-board and suggested that they negotiate with those above them for priority.

It worked well.........

Re:How do I get a reasonable level of respect?

[TwistedPear]

I find multiplying the time estimate by Pi gives a more realistic looking number... :)

Two-way street

[Kirby]

The same way anyone else gets respect. Actually get to know your coworkers, make sure that they know you understand their concerns and needs (and it helps if it's true), be someone who isn't just the weird guy in the server room that nobody ever talks to.

Don't consider getting to know your coworkers to be 'politics'. That's an anti-pattern.

It's not a cure-all, but if at least some people start thinking of you as a human with a name, and actually trust you, it helps a lot.

And also, return the favor. They're not just users violating policies and expecting miracles - they're stressed out people with demanding jobs that need support. If you don't respect them, it's _blindingly obvious_ and they will respond in kind.

Not everyone's personality is suited to this approach, but a little bit of empathy goes a long ways.

Also

[Sycraft-fu]

Don't say no. Seriously, don't tell users "No you can't do that, no you can't have that." Instead, explain to them what they have to do and/or what has to happen for them to get it.

For example suppose a user wants admin on their desktop and it is against company policy. Tell them it is against policy, and ask them if you can help them with what they need. If they say "I don't want your help, I want admin," then tell them "Well ok, but to do that you'll have to get a policy exception, here's the process for doing that." Now the process may be "Ask the big boss who is going to say no," that's fine. Just let them know what they need to do to get what they want. If it is something they can't or won't do, well then no problem. If they can, well then also no problem.

The reason is it makes you not the bad guy. You aren't telling them "No this is impossible," which they figure is bullshit, you are telling them "This is possibly, but only if preconditions are met." It really does make a difference. Also makes a difference if you have to defend yourself to someone higher up. If you said no, maybe the higher up gets you in trouble for that. If you said "Here's what you have to do," and the person didn't do it, when you explain that to the higher up they'll more likely ask the person "Why didn't you do what he said?"

Also you never know, even if you think the conditions won't be met, maybe they are. Maybe it was more possible than you thought. Like say a user says "I need 50TB of storage on the central NAS." There's not that kind of space, you've got 10GB per user and that's all. Well you go and find out what it would cost to add 50TB to it. Say with the disks, shelf, backup tapes and drives and such it is $200,000. You then tell them "Ok to get that you'll need to get a requisition for $200,000 for us to buy the necessary hardware." Week later they show up with all the necessary stuff. Turns out their project is real important and the funds are there for stuff like that, even though you didn't think so.

This falls in with the same sort of thing the GP talked about like skipping them to the top. Whatever the process is for that, tell them what they have to do. "Ok we can do that, however for that exception to be made a vice president or higher needs to send a written request to the IT manager. Once he has it, he'll have me move you to the top." Or whatever is applicable to your company. It makes you not the asshole, covers your ass and so on.

Now this doesn't deal with all cases. Some people are just pricks and will always be so, they figure you have to jump at their every word. However many people are just stressed and taking it out on you. If you show them that you are willing to work with them, that can really help. It makes a big psychological difference to many people when they feel like they are empowered and they have control. When you tell them "Yes, but..." followed with the things they need to do, it is back on them, they are in control. When you tell them "No," you are being a jerk and taking control from their perspective.

Wrong company to work for

[LostMyBeaver]

I am a software engineer working at a firm that has 50% engineering and 50% sales and administration. We use an outside firm for IT support since :
  1) We can change our own printer toner
  2) If something is broken on our PCs, we either don't trust anyone else to fix it for us or simply need a new PC at which point we reinstall it anyway.
  3) There's no such thing as an IT guy that would even understand where to begin to install and configure our tools (which actually suck since we have to enter in hardware addresses just to get them to start)
  4) We don't use much more than an e-mail server, a file server, and a Cisco. None of which requires a system administrator on site.
  5) Subversion and Wiki servers are run on a separate machine that the developers take control of.

I would seriously pity any fool that would even consider being the first IT guy to start working at this company if it ever grew large enough that it should need one on site. Being the IT guy at a small engineering firm where the people on site have historically simply fixed their own stuff would be a disaster. I've seen it before as well. You just don't ever want to be that guy. The problem is, most software engineers learned a lot of what they know by grinding through these problems on test networks, home networks, school networks, etc... It is very rare they ever had to do a good job and make something that could stay live 24/7. So they don't know what it takes to make a system stable for 60 users that can be depended on, instead, they know that it's just a line in a script, what's so hard about that.

If you want a position where a system adminstrator receives more respect, then go to a non-tech company. For example, the happiest system admins I've heard of work at places like paper mills. Remember that you're working at a company where you're more of a convenience than a necessity. If you got hit by a bus, the software engineers would hate doing it, but they'd just start doing the work themselves instead. In a way, at the company you're working at, you're nothing more than a single person that asks the boss for money for new stuff instead of having 40 engineers dropping receipts on his desk. So, in a way, where you are working, you're simply a secretary.

If you want recognition for your talents, go to a company where instead of being "The guy who could have been a programmer/engineer but wasn't smart enough" and head to a company where you're "The guy who keeps the company running".

Put everything in writing

[yog]

People on the job seem to get irrationally angry when it comes to computers and networks. Some of it is justified when they are being blocked from getting their own work done, and they will absolutely take it out on you when they don't have a good explanation for why things don't work. Those stupid IT guys messed it up again. It's the department everyone loves to hate.

The professional approach is to leave your ego at the door when you clock in, and be sure to log all questions and complaints and your responses. If something escalates into a problem where your job is threatened, you can show the paper trail to your management.

If someone is constantly berating you about computer problems that really are PEBCAK, just log each and every complaint plus your response. It can become quite an amusing read after a while, and you can share it with your management. It makes the other guy look bad. Of course, your goal shouldn't be to screw the other guy, but if they are being kind of childish and vindictive, it's very useful for deflection and self-defense should you be called on the carpet later on.

Also, good communication is the key to defusing people's annoyance. When people are sitting around waiting for the network to come back up, or the departmental printer keeps not working right, or the web is really slow--if there's an explanation forthcoming quickly, people can understand that you're working like mad to fix it. When an IT department has a stand-offish attitude and refuses to answer phone calls and emails in a timely way, people will assume the worst.

I once felt your discomfort.

[joedoc]

I was the IT department head at a small Navy command from 1998 through 2006 (my position was eliminated via cutbacks...now I'm a contractor). I had small staffs of one or two guys over that time, but spent a few years slugging it out alone. I had many of the same issues you do, perhaps not with the intensity you've experienced. Navy enlisted folks, for the most part, tended to treat me respectfully, and the officer corps and senior staff nearly always knew better than to get on my bad side.

Every person who came to this command had to sit through a face-to-face IT brief with me. I gently explained what they could and couldn't do, how to report problems, etc. They signed off on the brief so I know they got it and I had a record of it.

Occasionally, I had some assholes who insisted on being...well, assholes...and breaking the rules. My policy was to sit down with them privately and explain that they did sign a document saying they understood the rules. I would also gently confront them with the problem they were causing, and I would ask them not to do it again. Then, I'd follow up. Still a problem? Disable their account, send a report up the chain. The fireworks would usually start (especially among the officers) when I shut them down...they'd run to the executive officer and piss like kittens about their access, at which point the XO would show them my message. Then he'd call me in, and we'd have it out in front behind closed doors. I always won. One or two incidents like this usually stopped them completely.

I had a set of policies that were outside the "official" IT instructions, but they were mine nonetheless:

1. We have a trouble ticket reporting system on the command web site. That's where all problems get reported. It's a simple form, fill out details, I'll contact you. How quickly depends on emergency level. This didn't apply to my boss (the XO) or the unit Commanding Officer. But they rarely had problems.
2. I don't deal with problems that you tell me when I'm walking down the hall or working on something else. I'll listen, but you need to post a trouble ticket. That's the only way I can track and prioritize issues. If you tell me and don't report it properly, don't complain when it doesn't get fixed.
3. Make sure they understand that the computers and the network don't belong to them. I used to tell my folks that all the IT stuff belonged to me, because someone in the Navy chain put me in charge of it. If they want to do stuff you don't want them doing, explain that they can do that stuff at home. Not on your network. Then cut them off if they insist.
4. Use all the security and administrative tools you have at your disposal. I hate working with Windows, but my experience with their servers and domains was that you have a slew of security tools built in that can cut out pretty much all behavior you don't like. Document all your policies (especially for you own sanity - you need a way to remember how to undo stuff!), and make sure they understand them clearly.

I've always found that violators of my rules tend to get upset when they can't get to their stuff or find their passwords being reset every six hours. Sometimes you have to get their attention.

By the way, make sure you get away from the desk for a while during the day, even if it's just to go outside for a short walk or stretch. Just getting some non-office air in your lungs and stretching the back, legs and arms will make you feel a lot better.

I don't do sysadmin stuff now. I'm a web apps developer, a contractor, I get paid very well (a high security clearance helps), and my job has little of the stress and responsibilities I had before. This is much better.

Re:Be firm..and good

[elevtro]

I've been at it for my present company for over 4 years now. It is hard not to be a BOFH. Be good at what you do. If you are good people will respect you, unless they are an utter ass, there is no helping those people. Yes I will get stern with some of the hard headed ones. But usually after I've shown them a few times, exactly what THEY DID to cause the problem, they can fix it themselves. If after those few times you are still coming and asking for help then I might let that rudeness come out. I've only been a BOFH once, and I felt so much regret afterward that I apologized to the user and told them I was wrong for what I said. I didn't want to turn in the PHB, who are the real assholes around here.

Learn your users personalities. Learn their level of user. Then use that information when assisting them. It makes it person and real for them and they will respect you more. No matter how many times you've heard the question or been presented with the problem, the user hasn't. It's like the person at walmart being asked where the trash bags are 100 times a day. He knows, and has said it a 100 times, but when you're the 99th person asking, he might be tired of hearing that same question over and over and gets rude. But if you understand that this person hasn't been told 98 times before, those were 98 other people, and this person really doesn't know, you can keep it real every time someone asks a question that you've answered before. Patience and lots of it go a long way.

Meditate. It keeps you relaxed when even the nastiest of shit hits the fan. If you are at peace with yourself, you are at peace with all.

Lastly, work for a company with HIGH turnover so that you never have to deal with someone for more than a year. That way every user is a new user.

Just kidding about that last one.