How Do IT Guys Get Respect and Not Become BOFHs?
An anonymous reader writes "I work for a small software company (around 60 people) as the sole IT guy. It's my first time in a position like this and after about 1.5 years I'm starting to get a bit burned out. I try to be friendly, helpful, and responsive and I get no respect whatsoever. Users tend to be flat-out rude when they have a problem, violate our pretty liberal policies constantly, and expect complex projects to be finished immediately upon requesting them. My knee-jerk reaction is to be a bastard, although I've avoided it up to this point. It's getting harder. For those of you who have been doing this a lot longer, how do you get a reasonable level of respect from your users while not being a jerk?"
I've sent a few of the tougher cases to http://lmgtfy.com/ Usually that smartens them up a bit without having to have too many words ;)
Be firm, but don't be a jerk. Be reasonable, and honest - justify and explain. In writing if it helps. Just don't promise more than you can deliver, and be explicitly clear about the complexity of solutions.
If they are not nice, delay the response.
Nice people get fast turn responses.
Just check with your boss first.
finish complex projects immediately upon them requesting.
Take pride in being the BOFH. Lusers need to be kept in check. Blog about how you've made their lives miserable.
Unfortunately, IT is viewed a lot like the phones by most users. It's "invisible" when it does work, and is only a priority to them when it doesn't work (or they need something!)
I've found that the best way to make people happy is to effectively communicate with them -- especially when it comes to deadlines. Now I'm not saying to sandbag :-) but if you can over-deliver some things and/or get them done earlier than promised, then you set an expectation of success and partnership with your user base. As difficult as it is, sometimes, you MUST remain non-cranky or bitchy, or you will get stereotyped as the "grumpy IT guy" faster than you can think.
If it's really burning you out after only 1 1/2 years, then you should really look at (a) your workload (b) your choice of career and (c) your work/life balance.
If something was working yesterday and it isn't working today, you broke it.
For example, email. Why does email go down? Why? What's so hard about running a mail server? It was working yesterday, I come in this morning, it's not working.. what did you do? Don't say you did nothing, you did. It was working. You stuck your grubby little paws in there and messed with it, didn't you? Fix it.
You can't handle the truth.
How we know is more important than what we know.
You have to options: slap some reality into your users and put them in their place, or burn out. Your choice.
POKE 36879,8
I couldn't do it, I became a programmer and now am one of the annoying people bugging our IT guy.
Hi,
You need to to develop policies for handling requests and have your manager back them. You also need to make sure the employees know about these policies and understand them. You might want to see if your manager will sponsor a QA half-day with some free food so you and your users can get to know each other and understand their requirements and what you can and can't do for them.
If employee's aren't complying with these policies politely explain it to them and CC it to their manager. If they do it again reference the original email and explain the problem to the manager and remind them that you have reported this kind of activity before.
If someone asks you to skip then ahead in the queue or go against company ask them to submit the request in writing to your manager.
If you streamline the process that fits your policies and make sure they see that following the rules is faster they will be more inclined to do it.
If you can't get your manager to back you on this your SOL and should be looking for a new job.
There is a difference between being a BOFH and following company policy.
These changes will not make them respect you as these people are likely assholes to begin with and should be treated as such. I don't do favors for people that can't be bothered to show a little common courtesy and they don't end up very high on my TODO list.
They treat you like crap because they can get away with it - that simple.
If the general behavior around your office is as you say, start keeping a clipboard with their project requests on it. They want something done, they get put on the list, and make sure they see that they're on the bottom of that list. Add a column to indicate estimated time required.
Essentially they're treating you like the janitor. They think everything's as simple as unclogging the toilet or getting more toilet paper. And your attitude seems to reinforce their perception of this.
You seem to show them that your time is worthless and that your job could be done by a trained monkey - why would you expect them to treat you differently?
In technology there are a lot of roles, software developers, system administrators, network administrators, project managers with technology backgrounds, etc etc etc. You sound like you might be "your company's computer guy" also known as a workstation administrator. There are as many varied roles in the workplace as there are people. Make sure not to lump it all together.
In any career there are hurdles and IT is no exception. It's important to see the path ahead of you as difficult as it may be. Most people enter into IT with a passion for computers and technology. They want to learn more, they want to be able to build bigger and better infrastructure and to knock down all obstacles in their way. You need to find your niche. Some people are software development gurus and some people understand the intricate details that bind systems together. Do you spent your evenings learning new technology and figuring out the latest and greatest?
Try not to take things personally with dealing with others. It's important not to consider anybody just a "user." You have customers. Your customers want service and it's your job to provide that service to them. Most people in IT are very standoffish, anti-social and overly opinionated. It takes awhile to adapt and adjust to actually interfacing with people. The most important attribute of any employee is communication and nobody succeeds in a vacuum. Treat your customers well and you'll get respect in return. Itâ(TM)s fine to have a preference and its fine to have opinions. Just make sure you temper them with objective thinking, facts, and (at least) the appearance of an open mind.
If this is your first IT role you may want to consider why you got into it in the first place. What's your goal? How do you see your future? I've been a system administrator for over 10 years and have made the transition to being a system architect. My goal is to design infrastructure for the biggest installations on the planet. What's yours?
When they're nice to you, make an effort to fix their problem as quickly and offer suggestions. Be friendly and personable.
When they're not nice to you, everything takes twice as long. Get everything in writing. Do it all formally. REMAIN professional. Acting like a child will only make your own life stressful and miserable and ultimately get you fired.
Now there are exceptions. Anyone in a sufficiently high position is going to be able to have you fired if they think you're stalling. So do tread carefully.
The above advice might SEEM unprofessional - not always doing your best - but in the long run you're doing the business a favour. You'll be surprised how much more respect you get once your users learn that giving respects gets them the result they wanted. At which point everything runs more efficiently.
You'll never get anywhere in business by being seen as a doormat.
These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
Remember the other side of the equation. Users who have to sit for days doing nothing because their user accounts aren't set up right. Ridiculous security policies like being forced to change your password every month. Network configuration changes that break sofware they've been using for years. Pointless upgrades that add bloat and remove features.
It's tough being a user, seemingly toyed with by the IT guys.
worked in my case. IE when I switched companies a year ago, the people who had respect for me before, knew enough about PC's they still got by. Those without respect got to deal with your more typical corporate IT guy (not a total bastard, but at times). The guy who disliked me the most (actually accused me of sabotaging his win 95 box from the network, to our boss, just 18 months ago) publicly wished me back.
After doing this type of work for a while, I've found that the best way to keep my sanity while keeping users happy was to implement rigorous policy regarding how and when users ask for help. It sounds like your outfit may be too small to have a dedicated "helpdesk" or front line support, but I would suggest at least setting up a helpdesk system or Sharepoint portal that is self service to allow users to send in issues.
This allows you to maintain visiblity into your workload, so you can show why something isn't getting done after the fifth time Joe User asks the status, plus is an easy sell to your management with the argument that it allows you to effectively prioritize without users in your face all day asking why such and such isn't done or that this or that is the most important thing in the world at the moment.
The best thing about a policy like this is that you can easily deflect to people that are rude or in your face. "Did you put in a ticket?" "Sorry, I'm super busy and I can't effectively prioritize this request until you submit it." "Oh, your an asshole and want to know the status every five minutes? Check the portal." Getting enforcment on this is your biggest battle. If you can't win that, then take your experience, dedication and hard work and start shopping around. There's no reason to be burnt out because of the user population if you can help it.
One thing to keep in mind is that in their eyes you are on par with the plumber. Nobody really wants to call the plumber or have him around, OTOH you really need one when the fecal matter hits the rotary air impeller. When they give you attitude they are probably angry / frustrated at their machine / server / the situation and not necessarily you specifically. If they're being really uptight when you walk in the door remind them that you've had the last 15 seconds to fix it and you're on their side.
Depending on the political situation you may be able to interject something into a company meeting explaining what's going on and get people to consider your side.
All in all, remember to keep calm and be sure this is really the right thing for you to be doing. Maybe it's time for you to make a change?
Have a frank discussion with your manager. Explain what your problems are. If he has a spine at all, he'll set reasonable expectations of you, and stand up to other managers who're complaining, thus isolating you from this BS and letting you do your job.
If you don't have a manager who can do this, you need to talk to the higher-ups about remedying this situation (which should be doable in a company that size), by either moving you under a competent manager, hiring one, and optionally firing the nonmanager who you currently report to. If that problem can't be fixed, you will soon have to choose between your sanity and your job. Protip: Choose sanity.
You also obviously need more people. If there are legitimate projects that are waiting because they're low priority in your deep stack, then it's a pretty easy case to make. I've been a single IT guy in a 60 person software company, and it's simply not sustainable long-term.
Software developers rarely manage their own machines. And that's not necessarily a bad thing... I got my degree in Computer Science. Great people to solve a hairy logic problem, not someone you'd want with admin access on any machine you have to support...
My blog. Good stuff (when I remember to update it). Read it.
middle management.
Be professional
Be confident in your expertise
Don't over explain the issue if there's no need to
Don't talk down to them
Don't assume just because they don't know how to fix something that they are lazy or stupid
Don't play that "give them exactly what they asked for to the letter". Be a human.
If you honestly have too much work, let it be known to your managers. Make sure your not slacking off if you do this.
Shower
If you do all of these things and they are still "unappreciative"
1) Are you sure it's not you? Are you warranting it? Or, are you being over sensitive.
2) Maybe you work for a shitty group of people. Most places I've worked, our IT people have gotten respect. I've seen a few who didn't, and honestly, I think it was their condescending attitude and/or blame delagation that made others combative.
3) Find a new field of work. Maybe this isn't what you're cut out for. Employees are your customers and you have issues with them. Get out of the service industry.
A techie respecting a manager? Respecting someone who thinks a tie is a sign of civilisation, who thinks a blackberry is the pinnacle of technology? Gimme a break. :)
I've been in both positions. And I slowly get to see just why it was so hard as a "techie" to respect managers, now that I'm turned into one: The mindset and goals are vastly different.
I don't strive for a perfect solution anymore. A solution that works... no, not even that. I'm looking for a solution that doesn't break the budget, that I can "sell" to my higher ups without having to tear down walls of resistance (yes, that means "Windows good - big successful company behind it that has been in biz for years", "Linux bad - No company behind it, smells like some geek toy project"), that looks like it could get the job done and that can be administered without having to hire additional people.
Yes, I hate myself too, why're you asking?
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
I have an answer that's probably not going to be too popular around these parts, but I'm going to give it anyway: Learn to be political.
There's not a particular technique or trick. You're going to have to learn about the culture of the company you are, and observe who is getting treated decently and getting respect. Get in with one or more of those people, and that connection will help you. Learn what the "popular kids" have in common and make it your own. Experiment and learn how to complain productively, how to get what you want, how to persuade those who disagree with you, and how to defend yourself against attacks. It's strategy. It's war. It's the way of the weasel.
Now I'm not advocating that you actually lie, cheat, or do a bad job. Just understand that success takes more than doing a good job. Political savvy is a valid skill of its own.
I found solace in drugs, booze and hookers. This worked out great for a while. After some time (about 10 hours) it started affecting my job and personal life. I have since been fired from job, so the stress is gone. The bad thing is that now I am addicted to drugs and it burns when I piss. Oh yeah, my left me and took our kids to her mothers.
--
My parents went to slashdot and all I got was this lousy sig!
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My parents went to Slashdot and all I got was this lousy sig.
Here's what I did in that situation:
I put up a large white-board, and each time someone requested a job, I wrote it on a strip and put it at the bottom of the list.
When they complained about the delay, I pointed to the white-board and suggested that they negotiate with those above them for priority.
It worked well.........
http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Behavioral-Deficiencies-.aspx
What happens when "middle management" applies to everyone from the CEO down to the managers?
Don't answer that. It was sarcastic. They'd fire me for it, but I was already fired. Now I have all the time in the world to work on my BOFH-isms. :)
"Hello BSA? What's the payout on an anonymous tip these days?"
"Hello DHS? What's the payout on an anonymous tip these days?"
"Hello IRS? What's the payout on an anonymous tip these days?"
"Hello FTC? What's the payout on an anonymous tip these days?"
Ahhh, we see a running trend. And one previous employer was worried about direct retaliation, either through DoS attacks, or a sniper posted within a mile of their front door (the sniper being me). I had more fun doing absolutely NOTHING to them. They were so worried about what I *could* do that they drove themselves nuts looking for my back doors, monitoring for my attacks, and watching for me behind every corner. I didn't even know this first hand. Word got back to me from other people over the years. :)
And for the record, I don't believe in back doors, because they could be a security hole while I'm there. A DoS attack just isn't worth my time. They'll always screw something up on their own, I don't have to help it along in the least. I don't believe in jail time either, so physical violence is out unless they provoke it. (i.e., show up to my house with a gun drawn, and see how long you last.)
Sometimes the best revenge is to do absolutely nothing at all. It'll leave them wondering what I'll do for years to come. :)
Serious? Seriousness is well above my pay grade.
I went to school for CS and while I was in school, I had a student sys admin job in one of the colleges on campus. Once in a while I'd run into some odd problem but most of it was easy. Now, the really tough jobs are the ones I come up with on my own computer.
You're right, anyone who actually knows anything about computers will only have problems that make no sense at all. Ignorant users are easy, savvy users are a nightmare....
-SaNo
The same way anyone else gets respect. Actually get to know your coworkers, make sure that they know you understand their concerns and needs (and it helps if it's true), be someone who isn't just the weird guy in the server room that nobody ever talks to.
Don't consider getting to know your coworkers to be 'politics'. That's an anti-pattern.
It's not a cure-all, but if at least some people start thinking of you as a human with a name, and actually trust you, it helps a lot.
And also, return the favor. They're not just users violating policies and expecting miracles - they're stressed out people with demanding jobs that need support. If you don't respect them, it's _blindingly obvious_ and they will respond in kind.
Not everyone's personality is suited to this approach, but a little bit of empathy goes a long ways.
-- Kate
Don't say no. Seriously, don't tell users "No you can't do that, no you can't have that." Instead, explain to them what they have to do and/or what has to happen for them to get it.
For example suppose a user wants admin on their desktop and it is against company policy. Tell them it is against policy, and ask them if you can help them with what they need. If they say "I don't want your help, I want admin," then tell them "Well ok, but to do that you'll have to get a policy exception, here's the process for doing that." Now the process may be "Ask the big boss who is going to say no," that's fine. Just let them know what they need to do to get what they want. If it is something they can't or won't do, well then no problem. If they can, well then also no problem.
The reason is it makes you not the bad guy. You aren't telling them "No this is impossible," which they figure is bullshit, you are telling them "This is possibly, but only if preconditions are met." It really does make a difference. Also makes a difference if you have to defend yourself to someone higher up. If you said no, maybe the higher up gets you in trouble for that. If you said "Here's what you have to do," and the person didn't do it, when you explain that to the higher up they'll more likely ask the person "Why didn't you do what he said?"
Also you never know, even if you think the conditions won't be met, maybe they are. Maybe it was more possible than you thought. Like say a user says "I need 50TB of storage on the central NAS." There's not that kind of space, you've got 10GB per user and that's all. Well you go and find out what it would cost to add 50TB to it. Say with the disks, shelf, backup tapes and drives and such it is $200,000. You then tell them "Ok to get that you'll need to get a requisition for $200,000 for us to buy the necessary hardware." Week later they show up with all the necessary stuff. Turns out their project is real important and the funds are there for stuff like that, even though you didn't think so.
This falls in with the same sort of thing the GP talked about like skipping them to the top. Whatever the process is for that, tell them what they have to do. "Ok we can do that, however for that exception to be made a vice president or higher needs to send a written request to the IT manager. Once he has it, he'll have me move you to the top." Or whatever is applicable to your company. It makes you not the asshole, covers your ass and so on.
Now this doesn't deal with all cases. Some people are just pricks and will always be so, they figure you have to jump at their every word. However many people are just stressed and taking it out on you. If you show them that you are willing to work with them, that can really help. It makes a big psychological difference to many people when they feel like they are empowered and they have control. When you tell them "Yes, but..." followed with the things they need to do, it is back on them, they are in control. When you tell them "No," you are being a jerk and taking control from their perspective.
You were babysit^Wadministrating a Windows 95 machine in 2007?! Yikes!
I am a software engineer working at a firm that has 50% engineering and 50% sales and administration. We use an outside firm for IT support since :
1) We can change our own printer toner
2) If something is broken on our PCs, we either don't trust anyone else to fix it for us or simply need a new PC at which point we reinstall it anyway.
3) There's no such thing as an IT guy that would even understand where to begin to install and configure our tools (which actually suck since we have to enter in hardware addresses just to get them to start)
4) We don't use much more than an e-mail server, a file server, and a Cisco. None of which requires a system administrator on site.
5) Subversion and Wiki servers are run on a separate machine that the developers take control of.
I would seriously pity any fool that would even consider being the first IT guy to start working at this company if it ever grew large enough that it should need one on site. Being the IT guy at a small engineering firm where the people on site have historically simply fixed their own stuff would be a disaster. I've seen it before as well. You just don't ever want to be that guy. The problem is, most software engineers learned a lot of what they know by grinding through these problems on test networks, home networks, school networks, etc... It is very rare they ever had to do a good job and make something that could stay live 24/7. So they don't know what it takes to make a system stable for 60 users that can be depended on, instead, they know that it's just a line in a script, what's so hard about that.
If you want a position where a system adminstrator receives more respect, then go to a non-tech company. For example, the happiest system admins I've heard of work at places like paper mills. Remember that you're working at a company where you're more of a convenience than a necessity. If you got hit by a bus, the software engineers would hate doing it, but they'd just start doing the work themselves instead. In a way, at the company you're working at, you're nothing more than a single person that asks the boss for money for new stuff instead of having 40 engineers dropping receipts on his desk. So, in a way, where you are working, you're simply a secretary.
If you want recognition for your talents, go to a company where instead of being "The guy who could have been a programmer/engineer but wasn't smart enough" and head to a company where you're "The guy who keeps the company running".
People on the job seem to get irrationally angry when it comes to computers and networks. Some of it is justified when they are being blocked from getting their own work done, and they will absolutely take it out on you when they don't have a good explanation for why things don't work. Those stupid IT guys messed it up again. It's the department everyone loves to hate.
The professional approach is to leave your ego at the door when you clock in, and be sure to log all questions and complaints and your responses. If something escalates into a problem where your job is threatened, you can show the paper trail to your management.
If someone is constantly berating you about computer problems that really are PEBCAK, just log each and every complaint plus your response. It can become quite an amusing read after a while, and you can share it with your management. It makes the other guy look bad. Of course, your goal shouldn't be to screw the other guy, but if they are being kind of childish and vindictive, it's very useful for deflection and self-defense should you be called on the carpet later on.
Also, good communication is the key to defusing people's annoyance. When people are sitting around waiting for the network to come back up, or the departmental printer keeps not working right, or the web is really slow--if there's an explanation forthcoming quickly, people can understand that you're working like mad to fix it. When an IT department has a stand-offish attitude and refuses to answer phone calls and emails in a timely way, people will assume the worst.
it's = "it is"; its = possessive. E.g., it's flapping its wings.
Not just that. One of my professors was very well regarded in the algorithms field (can't remember exactly what for) and I remember he asked me to look at his Windows 2000 email machine once. Luckily he did all his important work on Unix, because that Win2K machine was probably the most spy and shitware infested POS I have ever seen. He was wondering why it was going "a little slow". It was at a constant 70%+ CPU usage from the amount of crap running. *shudder*
Someone who is a very good algorithm developer, or even a very good programmer doesn't necessarily have to have the sense to know how to properly admin and maintain a machine.
My blog. Good stuff (when I remember to update it). Read it.
After 15 years of working in this field I can offer you some advise but you are not going to want to hear it.
1. Do some work on yourself, read books on how to communicate with difficult people.
2. If you dont like how you are treated in any situation you have two options: remove yourself from siuation. Or accept the situation gracefully and do you best to improve it.
IMHO experience after trial and error, I have learned to trust my instincts. After years of working on my personality my goal is to be my genuine best with quality service and professionalism, by setting and example of being humble and compassionate to every one I meet, and I mean everyone regardless of what I think about the person.. Then after looking at the situation and finding no fault in my treatment toward others, I have to realize that I cant change people. I can only change myself and if my qualities are not enough to reverse someones bad treatment against me, I remove myself from the situation and find another company that values what I do for them and treats me with respect. I dont have time for people that are not able to appreciate my qualities. Let the deal with people that are just as miserable as them, They can be good company for each other.
The next job you interview for, start doing some interviewing of them in return. Talk with them about your qualities, and talk about your history with the people you worked with in the past and explain how you want work with those kinds of people in the future. If your interviewers become defensive, or try to dismiss your claims, that is the first warning sign. I usually give it three warning signs before I walk out and thank them for their time. The second warning sign is an interview that is too much like an interview and offers no friendliness or balanced approach to genuine conversation along with the interview process. If its all business and no talk about personal interests or desires, its not going to be a friendly place to work.
The third warning sign is when you ask or are given and opportunity to walk around and meet some of the people that work there. Ask them what its like working there, If you get allot of pauses in their communication or sideways looks that is the third warning sign.
Meet your interviews more than once and make sure they make you feel comfortable in the work place before you make any decisions. No job is worth not feeling respected, you can always find another one.
In my own professional life I have decide that I dislike most large businesses mostly because of petty politics and peoples obsession with status which means absolutely nothing to me. so I work for myself, I started my own small business providing excellent computer, web-site and video/audio services to people who give a shit.
Ah yes, the old developer vs admin thing where the admins get pissed off with the developers learning things (like DHCP the stupid bastard) by playing with production networks. Many well administered places have a completely seperate subnet just for the developers so they can break as much as they like without disturbing production (except for the idiot that just learned about routing who will get on every network he can). There can also be a lot of "I broke this dev box and have no backups but I'm not going to tell you how I broke it because you should be smart enough to figure that out". It takes a lot of work to support developers because they will know more about the subsystem they are working on but will rarely have the patience (or time) to explain to details of what was happening when they broke the system - about all you can do is have good practices in place (and enforced) to allow going back to a working state.
The biggest difference is the admin will take the time to have some way to roll back a change and should also take the time to understand what is going on which can mean hitting the docs or trying it on a test system, and if necessary they will wait for a window when the system is idle. Developers in that situation will often just play instead and rarely think of the consequences to every other user. A good admin will also play about with stuff they don't understand, but on a spare machine that is just there to be trashed and off the network if there is a chance of things going wrong there.
Every person who came to this command had to sit through a face-to-face IT brief with me. I gently explained what they could and couldn't do, how to report problems, etc. They signed off on the brief so I know they got it and I had a record of it.
Occasionally, I had some assholes who insisted on being...well, assholes...and breaking the rules. My policy was to sit down with them privately and explain that they did sign a document saying they understood the rules. I would also gently confront them with the problem they were causing, and I would ask them not to do it again. Then, I'd follow up. Still a problem? Disable their account, send a report up the chain. The fireworks would usually start (especially among the officers) when I shut them down...they'd run to the executive officer and piss like kittens about their access, at which point the XO would show them my message. Then he'd call me in, and we'd have it out in front behind closed doors. I always won. One or two incidents like this usually stopped them completely.
I had a set of policies that were outside the "official" IT instructions, but they were mine nonetheless:
I've always found that violators of my rules tend to get upset when they can't get to their stuff or find their passwords being reset every six hours. Sometimes you have to get their attention.
By the way, make sure you get away from the desk for a while during the day, even if it's just to go outside for a short walk or stretch. Just getting some non-office air in your lungs and stretching the back, legs and arms will make you feel a lot better.
I don't do sysadmin stuff now. I'm a web apps developer, a contractor, I get paid very well (a high security clearance helps), and my job has little of the stress and responsibilities I had before. This is much better.
Joe Dougherty, Florida, USA
The words I thought I brought, I left behind. So, never mind.
I've been at it for my present company for over 4 years now. It is hard not to be a BOFH. Be good at what you do. If you are good people will respect you, unless they are an utter ass, there is no helping those people. Yes I will get stern with some of the hard headed ones. But usually after I've shown them a few times, exactly what THEY DID to cause the problem, they can fix it themselves. If after those few times you are still coming and asking for help then I might let that rudeness come out. I've only been a BOFH once, and I felt so much regret afterward that I apologized to the user and told them I was wrong for what I said. I didn't want to turn in the PHB, who are the real assholes around here.
Learn your users personalities. Learn their level of user. Then use that information when assisting them. It makes it person and real for them and they will respect you more. No matter how many times you've heard the question or been presented with the problem, the user hasn't. It's like the person at walmart being asked where the trash bags are 100 times a day. He knows, and has said it a 100 times, but when you're the 99th person asking, he might be tired of hearing that same question over and over and gets rude. But if you understand that this person hasn't been told 98 times before, those were 98 other people, and this person really doesn't know, you can keep it real every time someone asks a question that you've answered before. Patience and lots of it go a long way.
Meditate. It keeps you relaxed when even the nastiest of shit hits the fan. If you are at peace with yourself, you are at peace with all.
Lastly, work for a company with HIGH turnover so that you never have to deal with someone for more than a year. That way every user is a new user.
Just kidding about that last one.
Well, maybe not your exact job, but close enough. The thing is, you seem to be confusing " friendly, helpful, and responsive" with being their bitch, and "being a bastard" with asserting yourself and your rights.
Here is what I did:
As for the plan of action, consider the following:
As you can see, this requires that your boss stand behind you and back you 100%. If not, then you are better off finding a new job. But, even if your boss will over-ride you every single time, you are better off pushing problems up the chain of command. Eventually, they will stop coming to you and start going to your boss. Then, you can turn to your boss and say "Which of these four 'important projects that have to done before everything else', do you want me to do first?" You can force your boss to set priorities and then when people come asking about their oh so important projects, you can say "My boss said I am to work on these projects in this order. Your project is number y, I am on x." and if they don't like it point them back to the boss.
If you haven't gathered yet, the objective is to either get the authority you need to assert yourself and your rights, or force everything to go through your boss and make him deal with them while you look for a new and better job.
There is no "-1 offended" or "-1 you don't agree with me" mod options for a reason.
1) Love your users. Be happy to help them. If you're having a bad day, either fake pleasantness or apologize for seeming "a little off" and explain with open sincerity about your bad day. If you can't create an atmosphere of good faith and empathy, you don't belong in IT. ..oO(That user needs training.) Not ..oO(That user is an idiot.)
2) Don't assume that because you can do something, it must be easy. Google searching, for example, is not easy. Don't assume that knowing how to do something really well means that that you can be effective at explaining it. If a user gets confused, blame yourself. "Sorry, I haven't found a good way to explain this." "Oh come on, you're not stupid; it's just not as intuitive as it should be. We're still in the dark ages of software."
3) Recognize that people need validation. In general, people hate having to ask for help. Acknowledge their need as reasonable. Any kind of hesitancy to help will create a sense of invalidation, which can poison your reputation forever.
4) Where reasonable, cultivate friendships with your users.
5) If the user seems incapable, your response should be
6) In policy disputes, be an advocate for the users. When you enforce policy, be clear that it is out of obligation.
7) Acknowledge that your role is to give other people the tools and environment they need to do their work.
Hope this helps.