Slashdot Mirror
Hospital Confirms Steve Jobs's Liver Transplant
CNet is reporting that the hospital where Apple's CEO reportedly got a liver transplant two months ago has now confirmed the truth of these reports. "Steve Jobs underwent his liver transplant about two months ago at Methodist University Hospital in Memphis, the hospital confirmed Tuesday. Jobs, who returned to work Apple's campus in Cupertino, Calif., on Monday after a six-month medical leave, 'is now recovering well and has an excellent prognosis,' according to a statement by Dr. James D. Eason, the program director of the Methodist University Hospital Transplant Institute. ... While Eason said the confirmation was being provided with Jobs's approval, he cited patient confidentially in saying that he could not reveal any further information on the specifics of Jobs's surgery."
third party upgrades were approved
Nullius in verba
About the same time this buddy of mine, Eugene Victor Tooms went missing.
I record my sleeptalking
Yes, but the Steve Jobs update adds new features such as cut and paste, MMS, Spotlight search and an improved calendar!
"Can of worms? The can is open... the worms are everywhere."
was that Jobs underwent a brain enhancement procedure which enables him to sufficiently focus his mental RDF energy for use as a telepathic weapon.
Apple will house the new weapon, tentatively codenamed iDontThinkSo in an underground bunker beneath their Cupertino campus.
Because of Mr Jobs' prolific temper, executives were initially concerned about the potential for misuse the weapon presented and the possibility of its use against enemies who were not truly dire. For this reason, a killswitch was installed to be controlled remotely via Phil Schiller's iPhone.
Analysts predict the new weapon will bolster the company's share price by at least 20% and should by them enough time to complete the fully cybernetic Jobs 2.0.
That would be 'dumbass, Sir!' to you... And thank Bhudda for /., where people can have a good old fashioned virtual pissing contest without mods getting in the way :)
Maybe now he'll understand why it's so important to be able to install third-party parts and he'll decide to loosen-up the licensing a little bit.
"Tell me doctor, with all of your defenses, are there any provisions for an attack by killer bees?"
$10 says his old liver ends up on ebay.
He didn't need to go on the organ transplant waiting list. There are thousands of apple fanboys who'd gladly give their livers to the almighty jobs in a heartbeat.
And when he takes his shirt off you can see the backlit apple logo they installed, which also mysteriously doubled the cost of the operation.
- There is no point, it's like a sphere -
but they couldn't find his old one.
How we know is more important than what we know.
Well a double-dumbass on you, sir!
---- Liquid was a patriot ----
Which is worse:
* The First Poster who blows his own post away by failing to quote out of context to confuse readers into thinking he had a point
or
* The guy with mod points that mods said poster up and then posts as AC to clear said mod?
Signed,
The Second Dumbass
He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
They need to do way instain doner> who spilt thar libres. becaise these bibers cabt fight back it was on the news this mronign a boss in memps who had bight on his liber. They ar had him company for two month and back for new liber. Only just now the talm abiyt it! Probly even deed alraidy!
Ask me about repetitive DNA
This is going to go well with Fava beans and a nice Chianti
Task Mangler
Luckily, a normal person has 2 kidneys, 2 lungs and 2 hearts they can donate, so it's not really a problem.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine -- Robert C. Gallagher
A apple a day, doesn't keep the doctor away.
He's created jobs, lots of them
Yes - he created "Jobs". 4 of them to be specific. *nods* I suppose you could say that it's a lot, in some parts of the States. What does this have to do with the fundamental aspects of economy?
;)
(or would that be Jobs'?)
- Mad, ingenous - they've both left you puzzled -
And there are a whole boatload of people who go to AA and never kick the habit. You can't just count successes and declare yourself helpful. There's never been any scientific study of AA effectiveness and the whole emphasis on converting people to christian values makes it entirely suspect.
How we know is more important than what we know.
I dunno about everyone else but when I heard "hormonal imbalance", and Steve Jobs had dropped out of sight, I figured he was in big trouble.
;) ).
e.g. cancer or AIDS or something else as serious as that.
You don't announce a hormonal imbalance that's not serious that way (he couldn't even appear in public!). Well unless he was changing gender (either voluntarily or involuntarily
So if you would sell/buy Apple stock just because Jobs is very sick, you should have done it the day they said "hormonal imbalance". But most "investors" won't do that - they'll just wait for someone to start first.
It's just like when Alan Greenspan says "irrational exuberance". He's not going to come out and say "Uh everyone, sell! Sell! Sell!". That would be irresponsible and stupid of him.
You want the sheep to move in a particular direction, but not rush off the cliff together.
Apple recently introduced a new exclusive product, the iDonor card. While more expensive than existing cards, its stylish design and unique branding ensured there was a queue of fanbois stretching round the block at every Apple store on the planet.
Home fucking is killing prostitution.
Objectivity, on my Slashdot!? Begone with thee!
He's a time lord.
Let's not forget: any number of Apple fans would probably readily line up to give their liver to Steve! Fame can be more useful than wealth.
There's probably an iPhone app for it.
no u
You just got troll'd!