Slashdot Mirror


New HIV Strain Discovered

reporter and barnyjr were among the readers alerting us to the discovery of a new strain of the HIV virus, found in a woman from the west central African nation of Cameroon. "It differs from the three known strains of human immunodeficiency virus and appears to be closely related to a form of simian virus recently discovered in wild gorillas, researchers report in Monday's edition of the journal Nature Medicine. ... The most likely explanation for the new find is gorilla-to-human transmission, Plantier's team said. But... they cannot rule out the possibility that the new strain started in chimpanzees and moved into gorillas and then humans, or moved directly from chimpanzees to both gorillas and humans. ... Researchers said it could be circulating unnoticed in Cameroon or elsewhere. The virus's rapid replication indicates that it is adapted to human cells, the researchers reported."

263 comments

  1. One Brave Dude... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Somewhere, someone was either very desperate, brave, stupid or all of the above to be getting busy with a gorilla.

    1. Re:One Brave Dude... by hesaigo999ca · · Score: 4, Funny

      Sometimes, love has no barriers...or cupid just does not know that bestiality is a no,no.

    2. Re:One Brave Dude... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      For some reason, your comment makes me think about the prison scene with King Gorilla and The Monarch on Venture Brothers...

      So THAT'S how it happened!

      (P.S., my captcha was "dateline"... creepy)

    3. Re:One Brave Dude... by ciderVisor · · Score: 1

      Maybe he was desperate for a fix of heroin and used the gorilla's dirty works.

      --
      Squirrel!
    4. Re:One Brave Dude... by Fross · · Score: 4, Funny

      Given the rate of infection is much higher in the, ahem, receiver of bodily fluids, than the giver, it is much more likely that it wasn't the human who had the predatory sexual instincts.

      Yikes. :/ Raped by a gorilla and given Simian aids.

    5. Re:One Brave Dude... by Sausage+Nibblets · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Somewhere, someone was either very desperate, brave, stupid or all of the above to be getting busy with a gorilla.

      You forgot drunk.

    6. Re:One Brave Dude... by vandit2k6 · · Score: 1

      don't knock it till you try it :) :) (no I am not suggesting anything)

      --
      Its nice to be important but its more important to be nice
    7. Re:One Brave Dude... by TerranFury · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Maybe the transmission happened when somebody ate the gorilla (or prepared the raw meat)? This seems more likely than interspecies sex.

    8. Re:One Brave Dude... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Too bad humans make much 'better' sexual predators than a gorilla would ever do.

    9. Re:One Brave Dude... by dbet · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Or a gorilla scratched or bit him.

    10. Re:One Brave Dude... by MBGMorden · · Score: 2, Informative

      More likely the preparation. IIRC, the HIV virus really isn't that hardy outside of a host - cooking the meat likely would have eliminated the infection (and again, IIRC, HIV can generally only be caught orally through and open sore or such in the mouth - it won't survive the conditions in the stomach to infect the host).

      --
      "People who think they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do."-Mark Twain
    11. Re:One Brave Dude... by kalirion · · Score: 4, Funny

      People, people, please remember that when you are having sex with a gorilla, you are also having sex with every gorilla that gorilla has ever had sex with!

      [paraphrased from Night Stand]

    12. Re:One Brave Dude... by hot+soldering+iron · · Score: 1

      So, possible a monkey bite? I heard that hurts like a bitch...

      --
      When you want something built, come see me. If you want correct grammar and spelling, get a F*ing liberal arts student.
    13. Re:One Brave Dude... by SkyDude · · Score: 1

      Sometimes, love has no barriers...

      Taylor:"Doctor, I'd like to kiss you"

      Zira:"Alright....but, you're so damned ugly...."

      --
      == First cross river, then insult alligator.
    14. Re:One Brave Dude... by cromar · · Score: 1

      HIV can generally only be caught orally through an open sore or such in the mouth

      There, fixed that for you!

    15. Re:One Brave Dude... by msu320 · · Score: 1

      Or... HIV can now survive the riggers of an oxygen environment long enough for airborne transmission.

      --
      New slashdot layout sucks.
    16. Re:One Brave Dude... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I think you underestimate our primate friends. You try raping one, it'll tear your arms off. You could of course catch one, sedate it, and then have sex with it, but if you've already caught one alive you might as well sell it and spend the money on whores and ale.

    17. Re:One Brave Dude... by tuzo · · Score: 1

      No mod points but +1 for Night Stand reference!

      Hey, I'm sick. I need help!

    18. Re:One Brave Dude... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Your new here, aren't you?

    19. Re:One Brave Dude... by ObsessiveMathsFreak · · Score: 1

      Yes, but it's a more boring explanation, so people are going to ignore it.

      --
      May the Maths Be with you!
    20. Re:One Brave Dude... by Moraelin · · Score: 1

      Maybe the transmission happened when somebody ate the gorilla

      Now, now... as long as it was between consenting adults, there's no need to be prudes about it ;)

      --
      A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
    21. Re:One Brave Dude... by mhaskell · · Score: 1

      Um, what Jane Goodall reeeaaally die of? :-)

    22. Re:One Brave Dude... by sabernet · · Score: 1

      Flash: You're free. He[Gorilla Grodd] can't control you anymore.
      Cowin: He wasn't controlling me, we were in love!
      Flash: Internet romance.*shrug*

    23. Re:One Brave Dude... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What a load of bullshit.
      HIV is not the cause of 'AIDS'.

      Most of you don't even know what AIDS is. Yet you're all commenting on it as if you know.

      Indicator disease - HIV = Indicator disease (i.e. TB, etc.)
      Indicator disease + HIV = 'AIDS'

      Therefore the definition of 'AIDS' is a circular one... And therefore useless.

      You idiots will carry on spouting the 'official line' and would rather die than read an opposing view. What does that say about you?

      Try reading Rebecca Culshaw's book "Science Sold Out", or just go online and read some of the opposing views, which prove beyond any shadow of a doubt that what is called 'AIDS' is nothing to do with a sexually transmitted virus.

    24. Re:One Brave Dude... by interkin3tic · · Score: 2, Funny

      Maybe the transmission happened when somebody ate the gorilla (or prepared the raw meat)? This seems more likely than interspecies sex.

      The two aren't really mutually exclusive. Trust me.

    25. Re:One Brave Dude... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!

    26. Re:One Brave Dude... by BlackCreek · · Score: 1

      Or someone was just beaten (and bitten) by a Gorilla, who got bored and left? Or the person manages to reach for the gun and shoots the gorilla?

    27. Re:One Brave Dude... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You might want to take a look at this. After that refutation it's doubtful there are any true statements at all in her book.

      http://www.aidstruth.org/documents/science-sold-out-summary.pdf

    28. Re:One Brave Dude... by K.+S.+Kyosuke · · Score: 1

      Great. I see the newspaper headline. Open sores: Danger for African people? Ballmer's second Christmas?

      --
      Ezekiel 23:20
    29. Re:One Brave Dude... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yet despite this ripping arms off aspect humans are more likely to attempt having sex with a gorilla than the other way around. Besides have you ever seen the penis of such creature? Chances are that he's neither.

    30. Re:One Brave Dude... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      From what I understand, they have quite small reproductive organs. *phew*

    31. Re:One Brave Dude... by Pharmboy · · Score: 1
      --
      Tequila: It's not just for breakfast anymore!
    32. Re:One Brave Dude... by rve · · Score: 1

      Maybe the transmission happened when somebody ate the gorilla (or prepared the raw meat)? This seems more likely than interspecies sex.

      When I was in college (a long long time ago in a land far far away) a professor, discussed the 'single immoral man' theory behind the origin of AIDS. A student brought up this same argument as you do: "people in Africa hunt and eat apes, or keep them as pets. There are specialized monkey butchers, it is more likely that AIDS jumped species during hunting or preparation of the meat. ".

      The reaction from professor (an American) was interesting: "Ugh, disgusting. I don't believe it" and he continued his story about the single immoral man theory.

      I hope none of the students got romantically involved with this gentleman :)

    33. Re:One Brave Dude... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That wouldn't be too bad, actually. A gorilla's erect penis is only about 1.5 inches in length (see e.g. Wikipedia).

      Well, granted, you still wouldn't want a gorilla raping you...

    34. Re:One Brave Dude... by JosKarith · · Score: 1

      Well, as long as nobody's eating rice pudding it'll all be fine...

      --
      'Don't worry' said the trees when they saw the axe coming, 'The handle is one of us.'
    35. Re:One Brave Dude... by RockDoctor · · Score: 1

      More likely the preparation.

      True,

      IIRC, the HIV virus really isn't that hardy outside of a host -

      True again ; in fact, more true than most people realise. A significant change in pH (see stomach discussion later) or temperature is generally sufficient to kill the virus (or render it incapable of completing it's life cycle, which is effectively the same thing. Remember the old ha-ha-but-serious joke about a chicken being an egg's way of making another egg ; but if the egg never develops into another chicken, then the egg might as well be dead).

      cooking the meat likely would have eliminated the infection

      The process of killing the infected host will cool it to below the temperature at which the virus can remain infectious. As the circulation stops, the cells continue to respire and produce CO2 and thus lower the pH. Then, in the butchery the bulk of the blood is lost while oxygen is introduced, reducing the CO2 content of the flesh and raising the pH again. The start of decay involves the production of acids that tenderise the meat - the same reason that you use wine or wine vinegar to marinade your steak - with further lowering of the pH.
      By the time the meat gets is ready to go into the cook pot, it's not likely to be a HIV infection threat - though it may be riddled with other pathogens. (I had to debunk a victim of one of those "oxygen therapy" scams recently ; haven't seen him for a month or so, but I hope that he's done a bit more research on this idiocy and decided to not get involved in the pyramid scheme.)

      (and again, IIRC, HIV can generally only be caught orally through and open sore or such in the mouth - it won't survive the conditions in the stomach to infect the host)

      Saliva contains significant (though uncharacterised) antiseptic components, which only makes evolutionary sense if you think about it. Again, even taking a fresh mouth full of creamy spunk, little if any viable virus survives to make it to the stomach. Really, you need to have an open sore in your mouth and get a blob of spunk right onto it to have a good chance of acquiring an infection orally. The blunt experience of the older whores in the Bois du Bolougne (sp?) is that the ones who swallow have a significantly lower attrition rate compared to the ones who take creampie up the arse (or pussy, for those who have one or a simulacrum).
      But that's old news - people knew that in the mid-1980s. It's not sexy science, but the epidemiologists have unimpeachable evidence of who does and doesn't die. It's also not a message that sits well with the "every sperm is sacred" and "sex is for god" schools of "thought". Which is their problem, not reality's problem.

      --
      Birds are not dinosaur descendants;birds are dinosaurs, for all useful meanings of "birds", "are" and "dinosaurs"
    36. Re:One Brave Dude... by TerranFury · · Score: 1

      Y'know, from a certain ethical viewpoint, eating animals is more disgusting than having sex with them, I suppose...

      ...not that I share this opinion. :-)

  2. Risk by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    The most likely explanation for the new find is gorilla-to-human transmission

    So you'll be able to spot those at greatest risk by the way they are walking?

    1. Re:Risk by Missing_dc · · Score: 1

      Gorillas may be far stronger than humans, but we are hung much better.

      --
      How amazed would you be to suddenly find that you just forgot what I wrote and you needed to reread my post.... again.
    2. Re:Risk by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Something to think about if you ever run into a gorilla while being naked.

    3. Re:Risk by vain+gloria · · Score: 1
      I'm not sure I'd want to publicly claim to have a gorilla penis. From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis

      For example, an adult gorilla's erect penis is about 4 cm (1.5 in) in length;

    4. Re:Risk by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      not after it's torn from your body like a dirty banana it isn't

    5. Re:Risk by GargamelSpaceman · · Score: 1

      I thought gorillas had tiny peni.

      --
      ...
    6. Re:Risk by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I thought gorillas had tiny peni.

      So does most of the /. crowd. Your point?

    7. Re:Risk by decoy256 · · Score: 1

      He's saying that humans are hung better than gorillas, not that he has a gorilla penis.

    8. Re:Risk by scorpivs · · Score: 1

      More likely, it has less to do with size, and more to do with the motions and noises.

      --
      There is nothing to FEAR but NOTHING itself; and I fear there is a whole lot of nothing going on. --scorpivs
  3. Alright, guys... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Who screwed the gorilla?

    1. Re:Alright, guys... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      CmdrTaco or kdawson, who knows?

  4. How? by DoofusOfDeath · · Score: 2, Interesting

    How would HIV be transmitted from a gorilla to humans?

    1. Re:How? by Lilo-x · · Score: 2, Insightful

      hunting and eating,

      --
      This is my sig, there are many like it but this is mine
    2. Re:How? by Vectronic · · Score: 4, Insightful

      During hunting most likely, get a cut from a branch/rock/weapon/etc, then get the blood from the gorilla in the cut, or get bitten/attacked by the gorilla itself. Could also be transmitted through eating (really I don't know fuck all about it), I imagine that a lot of people there (or "here" for that matter) have gum/teeth problems, perhaps an open wound or sore in the mouth from something, add that to improperly (or uncooked) meat, voila.

    3. Re:How? by ferd_farkle · · Score: 5, Funny

      Killing, butchering, and eating your own meat involves a great deal of blood.

    4. Re:How? by noundi · · Score: 5, Funny

      Gorilla mage casts HIV.
      You take 23 damage!
      You're poisoned!

      And that's how babies are made.

      --
      I am the lawn!
    5. Re:How? by laejoh · · Score: 0

      Here, a clue: alt.binaries.erotica.bestiality...

    6. Re:How? by Shikaku · · Score: 1

      There are stories of primates raping humans.

      Who said it has to be bestiality?

    7. Re:How? by CarpetShark · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Sex, needle sharing, blood transfusion, or breast feeding. Take your pick.

      Seriously... I'd guess biting or something like that. There's more here:

      http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/factsheets/transmission.htm

    8. Re:How? by DoofusOfDeath · · Score: 1

      There are stories of primates raping humans.

      Who said it has to be bestiality?

      I'd be skeptical of such stories, because they could plausibly be (shudder) bestiality rape erotica.

      Not saying it definitely never happens, I'm just saying the wretched, amazing human imagination strikes me as the more likely cause of such stories.

    9. Re:How? by squoozer · · Score: 1

      I'm guessing it was probably from blood getting into a cut / mouth rather than a misguided attempt to create an ape / human hybrid if you catch my drift. If you ever hunt something you will find out that like humans animals, as a general rule, don't want to die. This leads to a lot of blood, thrashing about and noise where you can easily end up cut. Even when they are dead there are risks as even a small animal has a surprising amount of blood in it which for some reason wants to spread itself liberally about your person.

      --
      I used to have a better sig but it broke.
    10. Re:How? by PCM2 · · Score: 1

      Most diseases of humans (but not all) are believed to be zoonoses, meaning they have crossed over from animals to humans. We refer to a certain form of the influenza virus as "bird flu," but that's not really accurate, as all forms of influenza are believed to have originated with birds. It's hard to imagine a human getting sneezed on by a duck and coming down with the flu, but the transmission only needs to happen somewhere once for the disease to have a shot at viability amongst human populations.

      --
      Breakfast served all day!
    11. Re:How? by Mr.+Underbridge · · Score: 0

      How would HIV be transmitted from a gorilla to humans?

      Come on man. I'd draw you a picture, but it's definitely NSFW.

    12. Re:How? by neokushan · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Somebody once told me, and by somebody I mean someone that should actually be knowledgeable about the subject (Zoology expert), that apparently our DNA is close enough to some primates that it IS possible to have offspring with them, similar to how Lions and Tigers can have offspring (of course most animal hybrids are usually sterile), but nobody's ever tried it for a plethora of reasons (mostly moral ones).

      Now this leads me to 2 points:

      1) If anyone has any facts or data relating to this little tidbit of information that either proves or disproves it, please post a link or two! I'm very intrigued to know if he is actually right.

      2) If this is IS true, then we can probably put this whole idea of someone fucking a Monkey and catching AIDS to rest, since by and large there would HAVE to have been a monkey/human hybrid born at some point, which I don't think has ever happened (despite supposedly being possible).

      --
      +1 IDisagreeSoHeMustBeATrollOrAnAstroturferOrAShill
    13. Re:How? by mo0s3 · · Score: 1

      Most of the others are on the ball but here's a reference about the transmission of HIV-2, which is not the strain in the article

    14. Re:How? by Hurricane78 · · Score: 1

      That's common retarded badmouthing: 'Because they're Africans they must be "oh-so-primitive".'

      As the summary states, it is very optimized for humans, and so very likely started in humans too. Which also makes more (common) sense.

      --
      Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
    15. Re:How? by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      God-schmod, I want my monkey man!

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
    16. Re:How? by Wain13001 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Good point.

      You will notice that the places where such stories tend to occur are the same places where "witches steal men's penises" and the like. Somehow I find myself having doubts as well.

    17. Re:How? by Opportunist · · Score: 0, Flamebait

      ...there would HAVE to have been a monkey/human hybrid born at some point

      I know there's a GWB joke in there, I just know it... too bad he wasn't the one whose birth certificate is missing, that would be a zinger now!

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
    18. Re:How? by ciderVisor · · Score: 1

      Rule 34 writ large.

      --
      Squirrel!
    19. Re:How? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Are gorillas part of the regular diet in Cameroon?

    20. Re:How? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Just go get Steve Ballmer drunk. Much simpler.

      Just make sure it is in a bar with seats FIXED to the ground.

    21. Re:How? by dvoecks · · Score: 1

      The bloody party is always field dressing. It's no stretch to imagine cutting yourself while field dressing an animal. I wear very thick rubber gloves when dressing deer. Not getting messy is a luxury villagers out hunting for "bush meat" probably don't have.

    22. Re:How? by rainmaestro · · Score: 5, Interesting

      I'd have to go back into journals to find exact articles, but here is what I remember from my Primatology courses:

      (1) Human/Chimp hybrid experiments have been done, by a Soviet researcher in the early 20th Century. No offspring were ever produced.

      (2) Recent research (2000+) suggests that we did breed with chimps regularly in the period following the initial divergence. As time goes on and we continue to diverge, it becomes less feasible.

      Not very specific, but it wasn't a topic we covered in any real depth.

    23. Re:How? by wintermute000 · · Score: 1

      To paraphrase Ricky Gervais, 'at least that's the excuse I would have given'

    24. Re:How? by ArcherB · · Score: 1, Troll

      ...there would HAVE to have been a monkey/human hybrid born at some point

      I know there's a GWB joke in there, I just know it... too bad he wasn't the one whose birth certificate is missing, that would be a zinger now!

      Racial overtones aside, why couldn't the same joke be made about Obama? We strive for a color blind society, right?

      --
      There is no "I disagree" mod for a reason. Flamebait, Troll, and Overrated are not substitutes.
    25. Re:How? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Not the way they're doing it.

    26. Re:How? by iluvcapra · · Score: 1

      Sounds like the West African spin on the old incubus myths to me. If a girl wanted an abortion, it'd probably be much easier for her to claim she was carrying a gorilla child, rather than a cad's, or her uncle's...

      --
      Don't blame me, I voted for Baltar.
    27. Re:How? by Scragglykat · · Score: 1

      Perhaps it piggy backed in some slung poo?

    28. Re:How? by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      Well, to be fair, so far Obama doesn't seem to have the education of a chimp, so the parallel doesn't really work out. He's actually pretty witty, I can't think of any major bloopers and blunders he showed during press conferences or TV shows.

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
    29. Re:How? by Scragglykat · · Score: 1

      I told that cat/bunny/girl NO! officer! Honest!

    30. Re:How? by BauerUK · · Score: 1

      During hunting most likely, get a cut from a branch/rock/weapon/etc, then get the blood from the gorilla in the cut

      Although that's the excuse I'd have given...

    31. Re:How? by ArcherB · · Score: 1, Offtopic

      Well, to be fair, so far Obama doesn't seem to have the education of a chimp, so the parallel doesn't really work out. He's actually pretty witty, I can't think of any major bloopers and blunders he showed during press conferences or TV shows.

      Then you're not looking hard enough. There are plenty of Obama gaffes. They all happen off-teleprompter. See, with Bush, every misstep was shown on every news program, every advertisement for every news program, every nightly talk show, plastered all over the web and anywhere else it could be shown.

      With Obama, any gaffes are ignored by all except for a few conservative blogs. For example, imagine if Bush had done the following:
      PIE!!!
      It would have been on every news cast, every talk show etc. Since it's Obama, it's ignored.

      As for Obama's education, have you seen his school records? Neither has anyone else. He won't release them.

      --
      There is no "I disagree" mod for a reason. Flamebait, Troll, and Overrated are not substitutes.
    32. Re:How? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Because aside from completely racist overtones, Obama is in no way monkey-like. GWB on the other hand...

    33. Re:How? by squoozer · · Score: 2, Informative

      IANABiologist but I've studied some biology. AIUI the DNA is quite similar but breeding is about more than just the DNA. I doubt that the other machinery necessary to produce viable off spring is sufficiently compatible. Wikipedia sheds more light on the possibility of the humanzee http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanzee

      --
      I used to have a better sig but it broke.
    34. Re:How? by Joren · · Score: 2, Informative

      ...there would HAVE to have been a monkey/human hybrid born at some point

      I know there's a GWB joke in there, I just know it... too bad he wasn't the one whose birth certificate is missing, that would be a zinger now!

      Whose birth certificate is missing? It isn't Obama's.

      --
      -- Joren
    35. Re:How? by operagost · · Score: 1, Informative

      W earned degrees from Harvard and Yale. If that's a chimp education, well then sign me up, Bonzo! BTW, Obama has a similar education: BA from Columbia, law degree from Harvard.

      --

      Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
    36. Re:How? by decoy256 · · Score: 1

      as all forms of influenza are believed to have originated with birds.

      Is that why it's called the "flu"? Har Har Har.

    37. Re:How? by pherthyl · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      That's your best example? One weird diversion to talking about pie? I have no idea why he would go off on a tangent like that, but it's nothing compared to Bush's mistakes (there are whole compilations of those on youtube). So even if the media actually did ignore his mistakes (given that a pie discussion if the best you could come up, that's pretty much proven wrong), then youtube should provide an accurate picture.

    38. Re:How? by bunratty · · Score: 1

      Yeah, you're right! Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on, uh, you can't get fooled again!

      --
      What a fool believes, he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away.
    39. Re:How? by ArcherB · · Score: 0, Troll

      That's your best example? One weird diversion to talking about pie? I have no idea why he would go off on a tangent like that, but it's nothing compared to Bush's mistakes (there are whole compilations of those on youtube). So even if the media actually did ignore his mistakes (given that a pie discussion if the best you could come up, that's pretty much proven wrong), then youtube should provide an accurate picture.

      You have Bush's eight years as president plus his years as Texas governor plus four years as a president's son and another four as the vice president's son. Papa Bush was also head of the CIA, but I don't know of any vids from that era.

      With Obama, you have a couple years as a state senator (a job that is ignored by the media), a couple years as a senator and a few months as president.

      So of course there is going to be be more on Bush. But the point remains that the press will NOT show Obama in a negative light. If you don't believe this, you are being delusional. Also, it doesn't hurt that has Biden as a gaffe machine.

      Still, the point is not what you can find on YouTube. It is what is shown on TV, which is what the 99% of the public sees. Most people don't do you-tube searches.

      --
      There is no "I disagree" mod for a reason. Flamebait, Troll, and Overrated are not substitutes.
    40. Re:How? by fyrewulff · · Score: 1

      It's ignored because most people had already gotten tired of the Bush jokes, and it results in people of either party switching the channel.

      I had a personal rule that a late night comedian is allowed 1 president joke with a limit of another one that builds upon the previous joke. Unsuprisingly, I changed the channel a lot more on Leno than I did Letterman, although Conan and Craig I never changed the channel on for that rule yet.

      It's not a matter of my personal opinion of the president, more of a "stop using filler jokes to pad your monologue".

      --
      "We need to get over this notion, that, for Apple to win... Microsoft must lose." - Steve Jobs, 1997
    41. Re:How? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      the people that voted for him have the IQ of a chimp though - hows that ?

    42. Re:How? by bunratty · · Score: 1, Offtopic

      The press are reporting that Obama's approval rating dropped sharply after his comment that the police "acted stupidly" by arresting Gates. You're obviously wrong that the press will not show Obama in a negative light. Could it be that you have some sort of bias that is clouding your perceptions?

      --
      What a fool believes, he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away.
    43. Re:How? by networkBoy · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      meh
      I would have pointed to the "cops acted stupidly" comment myself.

      Reverse racist?
      Assuming his friend could do no wrong?

      Look, I realize that someone's going to troll or flamebait me, but fact is I don't think anyone since Regan was very eloquent once off teleprompter...

      As to Regan, didn't he use astrologers (by way of his wife)?
      And Carter was a terd.
      And Nixon was a Liar.
      And I forgot Ford (sorry)
      And Kennedy was in a box before I was born (Damn shame too, I wanted to see the moon landing...)

      -nB

      --
      whois gawk date unzip strip find touch finger mount join nice man top fsck grep eject more yes exit umount sleep dump
    44. Re:How? by smellsofbikes · · Score: 4, Informative

      Very unlikely. Humans have one fewer pair of chromosomes than any of the other primates (because two of their chromosomes fused to form one of ours) and a bunch of chromosomes have long sequences that are inverted compared to other primates' sequences. That's not to say it couldn't happen: horses and mules have a 1pair difference, and manage to produce (mostly sterile) offspring regularly, but that's rare. And, as someone else said and is discussed in more detail in the wholly wonderful book Elephants On Acid , scientists in the old Soviet Union tried repeatedly to make human/chimp hybrids using artificial insemination in volunteers, and never had any success. There have been documented cases of primates raping humans, as well, but again, no documented offspring. (There's a very creepy scene in -- I believe -- Farley Mowat's Woman In The Mists where he describes a woman researcher working for Diane Fossey being raped by a chimp while other researchers stood and watched. I know it was her group, but I don't remember if it was his book that discussed it.)

      --
      Nostalgia's not what it used to be.
    45. Re:How? by buchner.johannes · · Score: 1

      It would be so cool if the Centaur sceletons of Volos were real

      --
      NB: The message above might reflect my opinion right now, but not necessarily tomorrow or next year.
    46. Re:How? by GooberToo · · Score: 1

      There actually is a documentary about this very subject. It was spurred by the discovery of a chimp that had very human like features; including a difference in facial features and its hip bones allowing for a slightly more human-like posture and stride. It was eventually confirmed by DNA testing it was a mutant and not a human-chimp hybrid. Nonetheless, as a result of the associated exploration of the subject matter, modern consensus is that man is generically too far apart to successfully breed with ape, chimp, or monkey, without the significant aid of generic manipulation/engineering.

      Sorry, I don't recall the name of the chimp (which is now dead) or much additional details. Regardless, its likely some investigation via Google will quickly turn up some links for additional reading.

    47. Re:How? by ArcherB · · Score: 0, Troll

      The press are reporting that Obama's approval rating dropped sharply after his comment that the police "acted stupidly" by arresting Gates. You're obviously wrong that the press will not show Obama in a negative light. Could it be that you have some sort of bias that is clouding your perceptions?

      At the time he made the "stupidly" comment, it was not a negative thing. It was just a white cop arresting an poor old black man with a cane in front of his own home. It wasn't until we found out that Gates had broken into his own house, refused to show ID, followed the police man out into the street, made a scene and insulted his mother before he was arrested. It was also not known at the time that the officer was actually a police academy instructor on racial profiling or that there were black officers on the scene that backed the arresting cop. So when Obama made the comment, he was being shown as a man of action, not a man sticking his nose where it didn't belong.

      You seriously believe that Obama and Bush receive equal treatment? I recall Bush being called a fascist on MSNBC. No such criticism when Obama took over a major American industry (GM) and fired the CEO.

      Sorry, but I never saw a reporter say that Bush made a thrill go up his leg!

      --
      There is no "I disagree" mod for a reason. Flamebait, Troll, and Overrated are not substitutes.
    48. Re:How? by bunratty · · Score: 0, Offtopic
      --
      What a fool believes, he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away.
    49. Re:How? by Totenglocke · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      What about Obama messing up the oath of office? True, the person reading it did mess up -- however, Obama should've read over the oath and prepared beforehand to make sure that HE didn't mess up. Or, what about this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leEcpFOrulY video which is just one of many instances that shows that Obama can barely form a coherent sentence if it's not scripted and already rehearsed? Then there's that incident you always hear of with Obama and the Irish PM where Obama thanks himself for coming because someone screwed up the teleprompter..... If you bother to look on youtube, you'll find plenty of instances of Obama looking like an idiot (better yet, you can even find one where he blatantly admits that his cap and trade plan will quote "cause energy prices to skyrocket"......yup, because that's what we need during a recession!).

      --
      "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." ~Thomas Jefferson
    50. Re:How? by migla · · Score: 5, Funny

      You need to be almost incredibly stoic to kill, butcher and then eat your own meat, though.

      --
      Some of my favourite people are from th US; Vonnegut, Chomsky, Bill Hicks.
    51. Re:How? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Wasn't Bush a C-average student & a cheerleader?

      A cheerleader is still a cheerleader, even at Harvard.

    52. Re:How? by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      I don't want to picture him with the quarterback, I don't want to picture him with the quarterback, I don't want to picture him with the quarterback...

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
    53. Re:How? by ArcherB · · Score: 0, Troll

      Obama has been called a communist on Fox News. There you go again!

      Right! What do you call it when the government takes over industry? Is that not the textbook definition of communism? So, how about the other twenty or so networks? Why are they not connecting the dots? There's only two dots to connect; the definition of communism and what is happening.

      I'll see your one FoxNews "Obama=Communist" and raise you a MSNBC "Bush=Fascist". The difference is that Bush left office when his term was up. A true fascist wouldn't have done so. But Obama is taking over American industry! First banking and insurance. Then the auto industry. Next on the target list is health care. I'm sorry. Do you know what communism is?

      --
      There is no "I disagree" mod for a reason. Flamebait, Troll, and Overrated are not substitutes.
    54. Re:How? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's your best example? One weird diversion to talking about pie? I have no idea why he would go off on a tangent like that, but it's nothing compared to Bush's mistakes (there are whole compilations of those on youtube). So even if the media actually did ignore his mistakes (given that a pie discussion if the best you could come up, that's pretty much proven wrong), then youtube should provide an accurate picture.

      You have Bush's eight years as president plus his years as Texas governor plus four years as a president's son and another four as the vice president's son. Papa Bush was also head of the CIA, but I don't know of any vids from that era.

      With Obama, you have a couple years as a state senator (a job that is ignored by the media), a couple years as a senator and a few months as president.

      So of course there is going to be be more on Bush. But the point remains that the press will NOT show Obama in a negative light. If you don't believe this, you are being delusional. Also, it doesn't hurt that has Biden as a gaffe machine.

      Still, the point is not what you can find on YouTube. It is what is shown on TV, which is what the 99% of the public sees. Most people don't do you-tube searches.

      Where's the troll in this comment? Does the truth hurt the moderator's pussy?

    55. Re:How? by sexconker · · Score: 1

      Eating your own meat also involves a lot of flexibility.

    56. Re:How? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's also a frequent rite of passage in hunting cultures to eat a portion of one's first kill on the spot.

      I've heard deer hunters say they were told they had to either drink the blood of their first kill or stick their head in its carcass. I don't know how widespread that is, but it shows how long things like this can live.

    57. Re:How? by ArcherB · · Score: 0, Troll

      Sad that when we are talking about media bias, you bring HuffPo. HuffPo is never a unbiased source. Expecially considering that the person who said it is NOT a FoxNews employee.

      Still, what do you call a form of socialism that abolishes private ownership?

      --
      There is no "I disagree" mod for a reason. Flamebait, Troll, and Overrated are not substitutes.
    58. Re:How? by mypalmike · · Score: 1

      One theory is that HIV/AIDS spread to humans through vaccinations cultured in simian tissue.

      --
      There are 0x40000000 types of people: those who understand 32-bit IEEE 754 floating point, and those who don't.
    59. Re:How? by sleepy_sanchez · · Score: 3, Informative

      Stalin thought to produce super-soldiers by producing these primate hybrids. In fact, Africans were involved in the experiment, because they were thought to be genetically more "compatible"(trailing behind the evolutionary timeline) . This is the best google link I could find: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/stalins-space-monkeys-808978.html

    60. Re:How? by ObsessiveMathsFreak · · Score: 1

      Or incredibly hungry.

      --
      May the Maths Be with you!
    61. Re:How? by TheCarp · · Score: 1

      Actually, after seeing what 8 years of his reign did to the republican party, I wish I had voted for him!

      I mean he really caused them a severe loss in stature. The real upside though, seems to be that the republicans sound like they are abandoning the crazy nutjob evangelical messages and letting the real conservatives actually try to push an agenda again. Thats such a breath of fresh air.

      A real conservative is someone that can be reasoned with. This false-flag conservatism that has been pushed by the wingnuts out there always stuck in my craw. I may be no conservative, but, I agree way more with men like William F Buckley than any of the clowns in the Bush Gang.

      -Steve

      --
      "I opened my eyes, and everything went dark again"
    62. Re:How? by ckaminski · · Score: 1

      Ok, I don't get it. There's no obvious har har in there as there would be with Bush, and it might have even been mildly humorous if there was some setup involved?

      Or is it simply a metaphor how everyone seems to want to eat of Obama's pie? Or his mother-in-law's pie? Is this a failed metaphor for big business begging at that government's tit for some food?

      Help me, I don't get it.

    63. Re:How? by ksheff · · Score: 1

      What deer hunters are you referring to? I've never heard of people doing that in the US.

      --
      the good ground has been paved over by suicidal maniacs
    64. Re:How? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      2) If this is IS true, then we can probably put this whole idea of someone fucking a Monkey and catching AIDS to rest, since by and large there would HAVE to have been a monkey/human hybrid born at some point, which I don't think has ever happened (despite supposedly being possible).

      I don't understand why the ability to produce offspring or the existence of a hybrid would put this notion to rest?

    65. Re:How? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Could it be that you have some sort of bias that is clouding your perceptions?

      Pot, meet Kettle.

    66. Re:How? by dvoecks · · Score: 1

      Ted Nugent's kids?

    67. Re:How? by Attila+Dimedici · · Score: 1

      How about traveling to 57 states during the campaign?

      --
      The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted. James Madison
    68. Re:How? by Attila+Dimedici · · Score: 1

      Wasn't Bush a C-average student & a cheerleader?

      A cheerleader is still a cheerleader, even at Harvard.

      On the other hand we have no idea what kind of grades Obama got, or for that matter anything about his undergraduate days, except that he went to Occidental.

      --
      The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted. James Madison
    69. Re:How? by bunratty · · Score: 1

      Who is discussing abolishing private ownership?

      --
      What a fool believes, he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away.
    70. Re:How? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If by "earned" you mean "daddy bought with his influence", your sentence would parse more truthfully. At least Obama, a mixed race son of a nobody family, would have been expected to earn his degrees--the old fashioned way. And by "old fashioned", I don't mean ass kissing. Faces it: GWB was groomed by the Bohemian Club from his youth to become a president. Seriously, you don't expect they would let an idiot with bad grades screw their plans?

      GWB may have done well in an agricultural college, but Harvard and Yale? PAH.

    71. Re:How? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Didn't he finish his BA in PoliSci at Columbia? Not any better than Bush's BA in History, really. I think a Obama's JD edges out Bush's MBA, though.

      Maybe we could use their wives as a measure of comparison? I don't think Obama's wife ever killed anyone, so Laura wins there.

    72. Re:How? by pherthyl · · Score: 1

      >> Right! What do you call it when the government takes over industry? Is that not the textbook definition of communism?

      No, not even remotely. I suggest you actually look at a textbook before making ridiculous claims.

      By the way, you do realize that the massive bailout of banks was under Bush, right? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emergency_Economic_Stabilization_Act_of_2008

      Hilarious how people now think that this is something only Obama does.

    73. Re:How? by Marcos+Eliziario · · Score: 1

      And sharp nails.

      --
      Your ad could be here!
    74. Re:How? by rantingkitten · · Score: 1

      apparently our DNA is close enough to some primates that it IS possible to have offspring with them, similar to how Lions and Tigers can have offspring (of course most animal hybrids are usually sterile), but nobody's ever tried it for a plethora of reasons

      It has been tried. Weird but evidently true.

      --
      mirrorshades radio -- darkwave, industrial, futurepop, ebm.
    75. Re:How? by ejasons · · Score: 1

      You need to be almost incredibly stoic to kill, butcher and then eat your own meat, though.

      Is there a Law of Thermodynamics about this?

    76. Re:How? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I grew up in Georgia on the border with Alabama if that's any indication.

    77. Re:How? by ArcherB · · Score: 1

      Who is discussing abolishing private ownership?

      You really don't see it?
      To answer your question, no one is "discussing it". It's being done without actual discussion.

      First was the deregulation of the banking/mortgage industry. While this happened under GWB, it was the brainchild of Barney Frank and Chris Dodd. (Dodd, BTW, just got a very sweet deal on a mortgage... illegally. You won't hear about that either.) John McCain tried to stop it as seen HERE. Dodd and Frank blocked it from ever leaving committee. Basically, what happened was that banks were forced to provided loans for low income buyers, and in exchange, they were allowed to dump those high-risk mortgages off on investors on Wall St. So when the walls came crashing down, there was suddenly no one buying these poisoned mortgages, which meant that Fannie/Freddie didn't have money to loan, which meant banks had no money to loan and without money, economies fail. Anyway, back on the off-topic, since Obama has taken office, many banks are being forced to take the bail out money, even if they didn't do the whole sub prime thing and are perfectly solvent. Other banks are not allowed to pay it back now that they no longer need it. Why? Because with the money comes government control. In other words, the government is trying to take over the banks.

      Next, there was the insurance failures, AIG was the biggest, but there were others. The government bailed these companies out without actually buying them, but they are still under government control, even though it's not specifically spelled out. Remember the outrage over bonuses and nice, company paid "conventions" to Las Vegas? Notice that those aren't happening any more. Is it because the stockholders said so? Nope. It's because the government told them not to. So if the government can dictate what these companies can do, does that not mean that the government is in charge?

      Now we have GM. This was a privately owned, publicly traded company. The government took it over. Sure, they never said they were taking it over, but that didn't stop Obama from firing the CEO. Not the board, not the stockholders, but Obama himself, without so much as consulting congress. So if the President has the power to fire the CEO, doesn't that mean he is in charge? Seriously, read that again. OBAMA FIRED THE CEO OF A PRIVATELY OWNED COMPANY, ALL BY HIMSELF!!! Also, the government also FORCED Chrysler to bought by Fiat. Again, not the board or stockholders, but the president! Seriously! The President fired the CEO of a private corporation. Where is that power listed in The Constitution. And you really don't see it?

      Finally, comes health care. Obama and Democrats swear that it won't be so expensive because they will "lower the price". How will they lower the price? Simple! They won't pay high prices. So rather than paying full price for, say, an MRI, they will pay a cut rate. Who do you think will make up the difference? Everyone else who gets an MRI, of course. This will cause PRIVATE insurance rates to go up because they will be the ones paying the higher prices to make up for the government paid shortfall, just like with what happens with Medicare/Medicaid today. Oh, and doctors will be MANDATED BY LAW to take patients, at the government rate. Eventually, private insurers will go out of business because they simply won't be able to compete against a tax-payer subsidized competition with the backing of US Law. This means that the government will be the only real insurer in town (plus a few private companies for the very wealthy). So, without taking over the insurance companies, they will have taken over the medical and insurance industries.

      So, what's left. They will have the American auto industry (read: Unions/jobs), the banking industry (your money and home), and the health industry (your body).

      What's left? Did I miss anything?

      --
      There is no "I disagree" mod for a reason. Flamebait, Troll, and Overrated are not substitutes.
    78. Re:How? by Peyna · · Score: 1

      Are you familiar with Dennis Kucinich?

      --
      What?
    79. Re:How? by bunratty · · Score: 1

      I still don't see anyone abolishing private ownership of anything. Anyone is free to open a bank, an auto manufacturer, or hospital, that is privately owned. The government makes all sorts of regulations about what companies can and cannot do all the time. It has even split up companies that abused their monopoly power. That is not Communism.

      --
      What a fool believes, he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away.
    80. Re:How? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      How would HIV be transmitted from a gorilla to humans?

      Gorilla meat?

      Oh, behave!

    81. Re:How? by ArcherB · · Score: 1

      I still don't see anyone abolishing private ownership of anything. Anyone is free to open a bank, an auto manufacturer, or hospital, that is privately owned. The government makes all sorts of regulations about what companies can and cannot do all the time. It has even split up companies that abused their monopoly power. That is not Communism.

      Sure, you're free to open a bank, but you have to run it the way the government tells you to, give loans to the customers the government tells you to and charge the rate that the government sets. Sure, you are free to open a hospital, but you have to take the patients the government sends you and you have to charge what the government is willing to pay you. If you don't do things the government way, then the government will seize your business, anyway.

      So, yeah. You might "own" it on paper, but do you really "own" something if you have not control over it? What can a business owner do to get ahead of the competition if the government dictates what to pay employees, what benefits to offer, how many hours they can work, what prices they can charge, what hours they can remain open, and how much profit (if any) you are allowed to keep? So while you may call yourself the "owner", you're really just the manager.

      So other than whose name is on the deed (the bank), what's the difference?

      Oh, and when the government "bails out" a business, becomes the majority share holder and dictates how that business is run and by who, they have abolished the private ownership of that company.

      --
      There is no "I disagree" mod for a reason. Flamebait, Troll, and Overrated are not substitutes.
    82. Re:How? by The_mad_linguist · · Score: 1

      That's not a birth certificate. That's a "Certification of Live Birth", something different.

      We already know he was born (duh) - the question that has been asked is where.

    83. Re:How? by fusion9290991 · · Score: 1

      Or where they murder (or exhume) albinos for their body parts when making "muti" or "magic medicine".

      --
      remember to loot and pillage before you burn!
    84. Re:How? by bunratty · · Score: 1

      Communism is not about abolishing the private ownership of individual companies. It is about abolishing the private ownership of all companies. If the government owns one bank, they do not abolish the right for private ownership of other banks. We're all still free to start our own companies, retain full ownership of them, and pocket the profits. You cannot do that in a Communist country.

      --
      What a fool believes, he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away.
    85. Re:How? by ArcherB · · Score: 1

      If the government owns one bank, they do not abolish the right for private ownership of other banks.

      Let's use health insurance as an example and read what I said above about health insurance companies competing with a government run health insurance program. My point is that the government does not have to take over health insurance companies to completely control that aspect of the market. They simply compete unfairly and put them all out of business. Do you not think that is the plan? Here is Obama saying that his intention is to put health insurance companies out of business in favor of a government run, "single payer" system. So if you don't take my word for it, take Obama's. Don't bother telling me that this is not Obama's plan. You need to email Obama himself and notify him that what he says his plan is not really his plan.

      We're all still free to start our own companies, retain full ownership of them, and pocket the profits.

      Tell that to the oil companies that are making what Pelosi has called "obscene profits". Fact is, if you make too much in profit, the government will take that away. And, in the health insurance case I mentioned above, it is impossible to compete when your competition, the government, doesn't NEED to make a profit and can even operate at an extreme loss every year without going out of business.

      I'm not going to argue the literal definition of communism because a true communist society as Marx envisioned it has never existed. But would you call China communist? You should. They call the themselves communist, yet there are privately owned companies in China. From Wikipedia:

      China now participates extensively in the world market and private sector companies play a major role in the economy.

      What makes them communist is not who OWNS the companies, but who controls them. Like I said before, what good is ownership if you have no control?

      --
      There is no "I disagree" mod for a reason. Flamebait, Troll, and Overrated are not substitutes.
    86. Re:How? by bunratty · · Score: 1

      Communism is not about who controls companies. Communism means that the government owns the means of production, takes all profit, and distributes it among everyone. In Communism, no one can own a business or take profit from a company. You can read the definition of Communism. They refer to the government owning all capital property and controlling all economic activity. Even if the government owns all medical companies, controls them completely, and takes all the profit, that still isn't Communism.

      --
      What a fool believes, he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away.
    87. Re:How? by ArcherB · · Score: 1

      Like I said, I'm not going to argue the definition of communism, but since you provided a link, let's look at definition two:

      a system of social organization in which all economic and social activity is controlled by a totalitarian state dominated by a single and self-perpetuating political party.

      There's nothing in there about who owns what.

      Either way, according to your own definition where ALL business is owned by the government, again, I will refer you to RED China, which is a COMMUNIST country. RED China does allow for PRIVATE ownership of business. So even COMMUNIST China doesn't fit your definition of Communism. No country does. So if you want to argue that Communism doesn't exist, then please come out and say so.

      My point was that Obama, with a Democrat controlled congress are taking over private industry in the US. To me, that looks like a Communist take over to me.

      --
      There is no "I disagree" mod for a reason. Flamebait, Troll, and Overrated are not substitutes.
    88. Re:How? by ArcherB · · Score: 1

      Again, from your own link:

      1. A system of government in which the state plans and controls the economy and a single, often authoritarian party holds power, claiming to make progress toward a higher social order in which all goods are equally shared by the people.

      Notice how it says "...plans and controls... and says nothing about OWNERSHIP.

      How is that different than what the President and Congress are striving for?

      So when a talking head on Fox News said Obama was acting like a Communist, by this definition, she was correct.

      --
      There is no "I disagree" mod for a reason. Flamebait, Troll, and Overrated are not substitutes.
    89. Re:How? by bunratty · · Score: 1

      So all countries with socialized medicine have had a Communist take over? Canada? England? Australia?

      --
      What a fool believes, he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away.
    90. Re:How? by bunratty · · Score: 1

      All governments control their economy to some extent. Only the U.S. government can print money. Oh noes! We've been Communist all this time and haven't even known it!

      --
      What a fool believes, he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away.
    91. Re:How? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      do you make city boys squeal like a pig, too?

    92. Re:How? by Joren · · Score: 1

      That's not a birth certificate. That's a "Certification of Live Birth", something different.

      We already know he was born (duh) - the question that has been asked is where.

      And the answer is Honolulu, on Oahu Island, in the state of Hawaii. Once again, please see here. Blow-up picture here. Or were you wanting to know which hospital specifically? That is a question that would require the longer hospital-generated certificate, which the state apparently doesn't hand out copies of.

      Legally, the "certification of live birth" and the "birth certificate" are equivalent, as also suggested by the plain-English meaning of these words. For what it's worth, the FactCheck article notes that it appears to be impossible to obtain a hospital-generated long-form birth certificate from the State of Hawaii, which would include more details such as birth weight, hospital name/address, etc. The short-form certification carries the same weight legally - in any situation where the government asks for a "birth certificate", they take a "certification of live birth" as being the same thing. On mine (Virginia) it doesn't have all those details and I got a driver's license, passport and everything with it. As Hawaii's notes, "This copy serves as prima facie evidence of the fact of birth in any court proceeding." But again, if you want to know which hospital specifically, you probably have to look elsewhere. It appears Hawaii doesn't provide copies of long-form birth certificates to anyone, as the short-form is enough for any legal purpose.

      --
      -- Joren
    93. Re:How? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      How is that impossible? He didn't say 57 different states - if you go back to the same state multiple times, that counts as more than one.

  5. Gorilla by dintech · · Score: 3, Informative

    It is believed that HIV jumped to humans eating gorilla meat. Note to self, no more gorilla burgers.

    1. Re:Gorilla by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      In multiple interpretations of the word....

    2. Re:Gorilla by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Gorilla Burger®

      And the award for "Best Named Fictional Fast Food Chain on Television" goes to... dintech!

    3. Re:Gorilla by rhyder128k · · Score: 0

      It sounds more likely that Mario cut himself when he was jumping over one of those barrels. In fact there were lots of opportunities for sexual transmission. Think about that time they all went karting together. Perhaps DK did it with the lady and then Mario did it with her?

      --
      Michael Reed, freelance tech writer.
    4. Re:Gorilla by MadKeithV · · Score: 1

      What about Gorilla Biscuits?

    5. Re:Gorilla by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Just stop eating fast food and you'll be safe.

    6. Re:Gorilla by K.+S.+Kyosuke · · Score: 1

      Cheetahs are already a vulnerable species, so stopping eating fast food is a good idea anyway.

      --
      Ezekiel 23:20
  6. HIV Positive by jimbolauski · · Score: 1

    I'm HIV positive that I won't have to worry about this, I don't know anybody into animals not even furries.

    --
    Knowledge = Power
    P= W/t
    t=Money
    Money = Work/Knowledge so the less you know the more you make
    1. Re:HIV Positive by Lilo-x · · Score: 0, Informative

      I know this was meant to be a joke, but having HIV does not mean you should not protect yourself against HIV exposure, it is possible to contract a different strain which can cause complications, I also believe there has been research into HIV being advanced when coming into contact with someone who has the same but further advanced strain.

      --
      This is my sig, there are many like it but this is mine
    2. Re:HIV Positive by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      having HIV does not mean you should not protect yourself against HIV exposure

      Having HIV means you should protect *others*. In some countries (Britain for one) it is against the law to have unprotected sex if you are an HIV sufferer and do not disclose it to your partner.

    3. Re:HIV Positive by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Let me introduce you to a group of people called zoophiles.

    4. Re:HIV Positive by TerranFury · · Score: 1

      Seems commonsensical.

      Dating sites for other STDs exist too, like herpes. Which is kind of funny, given that I'd expect about 25% of the people on "normal" dating sites to have it anyway (as that's roughly the percentage in the population at large).

  7. where am I? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    wait? what? real.... science... news?

  8. Like the old joke by kurt555gs · · Score: 5, Funny

    A man and his wife are at the zoo, when the man notices a large male gorilla leering at his wife. The man tells his wife, look, that gorilla is really hot for you, show him some skin. Just joking, the wife flashes the gorilla, and it makes the beast bang on the cage, jump up and down and bellow. Just then, the man opens the door to his cage, throws the wife in, and says "now, tell him you have a headache".

    --
    * Carthago Delenda Est *
  9. What scares me by boliboboli · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Is when some new strain of HIV becomes more easily transmittable.

    1. Re:What scares me by OeLeWaPpErKe · · Score: 1

      Why ? There are lots "more easily transmittable" things like AIDS. Well, they're generally not AIDS per se, but you'll get the same symptoms so who really cares ? Here's a short list

      Personally I find the "opposite" of AIDS more scary

      Ahhhh ... isn't evolution grand ?

    2. Re:What scares me by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      HUZZAH TO AUTOIMMUNE

      I am a genetic chimera, and my immune system had a serious crack in the relationship with my large intestine a few years back for some reason.
      Not sure about the whole story, but i think it slept with my pancreas or something, can't be bothered with all this relationship nonsense, too much of a hassle.

      Only decent thing about it is the fact that i can have a good excuse for being lazy :)

    3. Re:What scares me by tonyreadsnews · · Score: 1

      I didn't see any "more easily transmittable" things on your first link to immunodeficiency. From your link, it looked like most immunodeficiency comes from either an inherited disease, or something like cancer.

  10. Pot calling the kettle black here by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Europeans didn't do it

    While i agree that the UK and FR have had a major detrimental impact on the african subcontinent...

    Have you seen the news about GAP and Levis in Africa lately? and lets not forget that American pharmaceutical companies refuse to make their drugs available in generic form to stop the transmission of aids to unborn babies.

    So get off your high horse.

  11. Re:A legacy of colonialism by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Insightful

    This is actually the first time I have seen someone argue that the FAILURE of colonial powers to eradicate native religions in favour of christianity makes us by extension partly responsible, through historic linkages, for gangrapes. Force religion on people and you're responsible for how they turn out; fail to force religion on people and you're responsible for how they turn out.

    Personally, I would rather argue that Africans have a responsibility to cure themselves of their superstitions, and that if they are unhappy with their country borders, to resolve that unhappiness. Europeans succeeded in doing it, many years before the Africans failed to.

    Interestingly, even countries that were never colonised and didn't see a single settler are as crappy as the others. What does that say for your causal responsibility chain?

  12. Why people should read the fine article. by Artifakt · · Score: 5, Informative

    1. The index patient is from Cameroon, but was living in France at the time of discovery.
    2. The patient did not eat gorilla meat personally, by her testimony, and it is likely the mode of transmission to her was from an as yet unidentified male human. She is probably several transmissions removed from the person we would designate the true patient Zero, and that hypothetical person probably is (or was) in Cameroon, and was initially exposed in Cameroon.
    3. the patient does not have AIDS symptoms at this time. Best guess is this strain will produce loss of immune function with time if untreated, and will probably respond to the same treatments as the more established strains.
    4. This strain could be slower or quicker to go to symptomatic state, not react to some drugs the same, or otherwise vary, but there's no particular reason to expect any super plague or drug resistant strain.

    --
    Who is John Cabal?
    1. Re:Why people should read the fine article. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      "Why not just make it illegal to have sex with non- Western Citizen Blacks?"

      Why not just make it illegal to have sex except under government supervision? I know it sounds stupidly fascist but that's just because it is. Well, just like your proposition.

    2. Re:Why people should read the fine article. by nedlohs · · Score: 1

      1. People would just say "no I didn't have any sex" no matter how much they had had.

      2. You can't "deport" your own citizens.

      You just have wet dreams about living in totalitarian regimes obviously, luckily for the rest of us we aren't under one yet.

    3. Re:Why people should read the fine article. by rainmaestro · · Score: 1

      Dear Dr. Breen:

      Why has the Combine seen fit to suppress our reproductive cycle?

      Sincerely, A Concerned Citizen

    4. Re:Why people should read the fine article. by frightknight1313 · · Score: 1

      "Why not just make it illegal to have sex with non- Western Citizen Blacks?"

      wow...that sounds a little racist. Do they suddenly become safe after they become western citizens? last time i checked no one was cured of HIV by the pledge of alligence...

    5. Re:Why people should read the fine article. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Did you know that " is called a quotation mark? And that the reason is because you use two of them to enclose a quotation? Insightful anon coward was quoting flamebait anon coward to lead into a rebuttal.

    6. Re:Why people should read the fine article. by timbalara · · Score: 1

      1. The index patient is from Cameroon, but was living in France at the time of discovery.

      Yet another reason to avoid going to France! =D

    7. Re:Why people should read the fine article. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Well, actually that kind of measures where done with success in the past, with diseases like the Black Fever and Leprosy. It was known that gypsies spreaded the disease all along europe: that's the reason the judge from the Hunchback of Notre Dame barred them from his city in the novel. I think it was also done with the Ebola. It's not fascism, actually, more like "the majority is more important than the individual". You know they are going to die, there's no way to cure them, the best you can do is make sure they don't go happily anywhere spreading the sickness to the rest of the people. That nowadays that kind of measures are frowned upon is a sign of the stupidity of the times, I strongly affirm the problem with VIH was severely aggravated because of faulty contemption measures due to Political Correctness.

      But I wouldn't go as far as the grand-parent post. There are options less racist and equally effective, such as making it illegal to have sex with non-Western Citizen blacks that didn't come from Madagascar.

    8. Re:Why people should read the fine article. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Thank you.

      After his comment, I could almost hear the headcrabs screech...

    9. Re:Why people should read the fine article. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      another fine example of political correctness killing the West.

  13. Put some new signs up by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "Please do not feed, or exchange bodily fluids with the monkeys"

    Now that should do it..

    1. Re:Put some new signs up by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      the problem, as I've been told, is that the bodily fluids of the chimps and gorillas (not monkeys), come into contact with humans' bodily fluids during hunting, butchering, eating and selling of the meat from the same. A common practice in these areas. Not at all what you're implying

  14. Re:A legacy of colonialism by BadAnalogyGuy · · Score: 2, Interesting

    There was a show describing natural immunity to HIV. In fact, one of the interesting discussions was how the prostitutes in Africa had actually developed immunity to the virus.

  15. Impact by voxner · · Score: 1

    The article does not seem to mention the impact of the virus on existing treatments. Is the new virus a hiv version of MDR-TB?

  16. you forgot to mention by circletimessquare · · Score: 3, Interesting

    the woman was 62 when she was diagnosed in 2004

    meaning, this could be an old strain of aids. by "old" i mean it could have been in the human population for a long time

    i hypothesize this simply because the woman is still alive (assuming she wasn't infected 2 years ago) and mild disease is a sign of an "old" disease

    the fate of all diseases and all parasites is equilibrium with its hosts. it does no good to kill off your host so quickly there's no retransmission. so after an initial sickle swinging period of mass slaughter, the strains of any disease that dominate will be those who tend to be more mild, simply because by killing less faster, they spread wider and therefore survive longer

    so most likely its not the stand or 28 days later we're talking here

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
    1. Re:you forgot to mention by PCM2 · · Score: 5, Informative

      the fate of all diseases and all parasites is equilibrium with its hosts. it does no good to kill off your host so quickly there's no retransmission. so after an initial sickle swinging period of mass slaughter, the strains of any disease that dominate will be those who tend to be more mild, simply because by killing less faster, they spread wider and therefore survive longer

      This is a popular myth. It is true of some diseases but not of others.

      Consider that not all diseases require human-to-human transmission. Some can be transmitted via non-human vectors, for instance mosquito bites. In those cases, the human does not need to be healthy enough to travel, or to come in contact with other humans. The mosquito takes care of that part, so the human can become very sick, very rapidly, without threatening the viability of the disease. Malaria, for example, is ancient, but has shown no signs of becoming less virulent with time. Similarly, the bubonic plague has not evolved to become less deadly since the major outbreaks of antiquity; we simply know more about how to treat it when it does occur.

      --
      Breakfast served all day!
    2. Re:you forgot to mention by jamesh · · Score: 1

      the woman was 62 when she was diagnosed in 2004

      meaning, this could be an old strain of aids. by "old" i mean it could have been in the human population for a long time

      Of course. Because 62 year old post menopausal women who don't need to worry about getting pregnant anymore don't engage in behavior that might increase the risk of transmission of STD's, so obviously she's had it for years and it's been circulating in the community for years and we're just hearing about it now.

      Or maybe you read the article and I didn't and I'm wrongly chastising you for making the assumption that she must have acquired it long ago because she's 'past it' now... either way is good for me :)

    3. Re:you forgot to mention by antifoidulus · · Score: 1

      But malaria is(relatively speaking) slow to kill and in your example the disease still requires humans to stay alive with malaria to survive because although humans are not the vector they are still the resevoir(almost all strains of malaria only affect humans, not other animals)

      Probably a better example would be lyme disease, the disease can affect deer and mice(and other mammals) and is carried by ticks. Even if the disease destroys humans quickly, the fact that deer and mice can continue to carry the disease makes it incredibly potent.

    4. Re:you forgot to mention by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      While you're on the right track, it's not that easy. How widely a given disease spreads is dependent on a lot of factors.

      Yes, a long incubation period helps spreading it far. But so would ease of propagation. HIV is amongst the diseases that spread fairly badly. It requires the direct exposure of your body fluids to other fluids to initiate a transfer. This is about as "hard" as it gets. There are only two ways, aside of those invented by modern medicine (i.e. blood transfer and IVs), namely sexual intercourse and accidental exposure of your bloodstream to contaminated blood, e.g. when eating blood-rich parts of diseased meat (e.g. liver) AND you having bleeding gums. Mosquitos MAY be a way, but afaik it has been ruled out for HIV, because the virus needs a fairly large "dose" to spread.

      It doesn't get much harder than that when it comes to transfer. We're far away from a sneeze and 'breathing the same air' as you have with various influenza strains.

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
    5. Re:you forgot to mention by ccbailey · · Score: 1

      This is correct. Most African nonhuman primate species have their own particular immunodeficiency virus. We call them SIVs, simian immunodeficiency viruses. Infections in these primate species are essentially asymptomatic. Phylogenetically, HIVs are descendants of a few SIVs implying multiple transmission events from nonhuman primates to humans. Humans are a non-adapted host for the virus and end up developing immunodeficiency. The same is true for Asian monkey species who have not co-evolved with SIV. Thus SIV-infected Asian monkeys are used as the model for HIV infection in humans.

      Other viruses display similar behavior. The macaque equivalent to herpes simplex, for instance, causes fatal encephalitis in people but is typically completely asymptomatic in the monkeys.

      Fortunately, we know from accidental infection of laboratory staff with SIV that the virus usually fails to replicate in people. In rare instances, the infected person becomes viremic but never developed immunodeficiency. Thus, the finding of an HIV of gorilla origin in a human is interesting but doesn't herald the arrival of some new super-virus pandemic.

    6. Re:you forgot to mention by Sausage+Nibblets · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      meaning, this could be an old strain of aids.

      AIDS != HIV.

    7. Re:you forgot to mention by PCM2 · · Score: 1

      Another classic example is cholera, which is transmitted by human feces (particularly when it contaminates water supplies). The more diarrhea, the better for the cholera organism, so cholera strains tend to be very virulent.

      Another example is anthrax, which can live outside of a host organism for a long time by becoming a spore and remaining in soil. Because of this capability, anthrax doesn't really care if it runs out of host animals; it just waits for more to come along later.

      The point is that while the theory that disease organisms tend toward equilibrium with the animals they infect has some merit, this idea alone is far too simplistic to be an accurate model of all disease behavior.

      --
      Breakfast served all day!
    8. Re:you forgot to mention by ukyoCE · · Score: 2, Insightful

      the fate of all diseases and all parasites is equilibrium with its hosts. it does no good to kill off your host so quickly there's no retransmission.

      That's very optimistic of you, but not at all how nature works. Yes, for a slow-enough action things will balance out. But there's nothing in nature to prevent a fast-spreading disease from wiping out an entire population.

      The same is true of predators. A pack of wolves WILL eat the deer population to extinction in an area, and then go extinct itself if it can't find other meat. The wolves don't take a regular population tally and decide to cut back on meat and reproducing until the deer repopulate.

      The best hope is that some deer manage to evade the wolves and repopulate while the wolves are starving to death and reproducing less.

    9. Re:you forgot to mention by decoy256 · · Score: 1

      When HIV melds with the flu, I'm moving to Alaska.

    10. Re:you forgot to mention by CharlyFoxtrot · · Score: 1

      the fate of all diseases and all parasites is equilibrium with its hosts. it does no good to kill off your host so quickly there's no retransmission. so after an initial sickle swinging period of mass slaughter, the strains of any disease that dominate will be those who tend to be more mild, simply because by killing less faster, they spread wider and therefore survive longer

      Um no. The most susceptible are killed off first and the more resistant or immune hosts survive and that limits the havoc the virus can cause. Like the village in England where descendants of the original inhabitants are immune to the black plague or the women in Africa who are HIV-immune. You don't have to shoot friggin' lazerbeams from your eyes to have a useful mutation :-) Sadly the inverse is true too: the "mild" european viruses were a disaster for the american indian after the white man came for example.

      --
      If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
    11. Re:you forgot to mention by Chris+Burke · · Score: 1

      i hypothesize this simply because the woman is still alive (assuming she wasn't infected 2 years ago) and mild disease is a sign of an "old" disease

      Not necessarily by any means. 'Mild' can mean a sign of any number of things, such as being very new and poorly adapted to attacking humans.

      And HIV itself is only recently known in humans. The 'standard' version we are familiar with is anything but an 'old' disease with respect to humans. And yet it seems almost perfectly adapted to spreading and surviving while remaining deadly -- with an 'incubation' period of a decade or even more before it becomes AIDS, HIV has plenty of time to spread, but then it destroys the immune system and the victim dies from a cold. That doesn't sound like 'equilibrium' or 'mildness' to me.

      I see no indication that this version is more mild or older than the existing strains.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
  17. HIV virus by loufoque · · Score: 1, Redundant

    As in Human immunodeficiency virus virus?

    1. Re:HIV virus by groslyunderpaid · · Score: 2, Funny

      I almost used my mod points to mod you redundant (couldn't help myself), but then realized at that point it would instead be funny, so then I caught in a logical conundrum and decided to comment instead.

  18. Re:A legacy of colonialism by funkatron · · Score: 1

    This legacy means that ancient tribal beliefs and superstitions are still prevalent because it was easier to pacify the natives with animism than with modern religion.

    First, there is a certain amount of "modern" (ie European) religion in Africa, enough for people to get concerned when the pope gives bad sex advice.

    Second, what benefits would a wider introduction of European religion have? Religions usually seem to build their values around the concerns of the time and place where they form so it's likely that say European Christianity would be a bad fit in Africa.

    The opportunity to bring Africa into the modern age was thrown away and now we are faced with a backwards, superstitious continent without education, reason, law and order.

    Treating Africa as a single entity makes it difficult to have any meaningful discussion here. Africa has a large number of countries and there are tribal groups within some of those countries. These countries range from relatively healthy economies with legal systems and education through to war torn or poverty stricken non-functional states. Beliefs and religions obviously vary as well. Could you be more specific about which parts of Africa you are referring to?

    --
    "Welcome to our world. We are the wasted youth. And we are the future too." Yes, I know these are stupid lyrics.
  19. in africa also known to eat raw meat, drink blood by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    and there is always being bitten as you try to mount gorilla :D

  20. equilibrium above all by circletimessquare · · Score: 1

    in the case of malaria, it is the host itself which evolves mitigating factors, such as the sickle cell gene, which has evolved 3 different times in 3 different variations in africa, the mediterranean and southeast asia

    but yes, with diseases that are not directly transmitted between hosts of the same species, there is no need to dampen fatality. but then the interspecies mode of transmission is a form of dampening in and of itself

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
  21. Slashdot by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    And it's still no concern for /. readers.

  22. Gorillas on heroin? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Great, someone shared their dirty heroin needle with a gorilla... Come on people!

  23. Swing tree Buck Monkey by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Why is anyone surprised?
    If you swing tree and Buck Monkey , you get bad disease Buddy

  24. Re:Always Africans. by Attila+Dimedici · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's always the africans.

    That's not true, SARS was the Chinese.

    --
    The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted. James Madison
  25. Re:Always Africans. by Rival · · Score: 1

    It's always the africans.

    That's not true, SARS was the Chinese.

    And reality television was the Americans.

  26. Has the virus been observed in any animal ? by OeLeWaPpErKe · · Score: 1

    It somehow seems relevant to be able to tell people which animal they should try to avoid. Chimpanzees ? Gorilla's ? Other types of monkeys or perhaps an entirely different animal ?

    1. Re:Has the virus been observed in any animal ? by PsychoSlashDot · · Score: 5, Insightful

      It somehow seems relevant to be able to tell people which animal they should try to avoid. Chimpanzees ? Gorilla's ? Other types of monkeys or perhaps an entirely different animal ?

      Dude, in some southern African countries the adult prevalence hits 20% The animal to avoid on that content appears to be: humans.

      --
      "Oh no... he found the .sig setting."
    2. Re:Has the virus been observed in any animal ? by Vectronic · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I wouldn't really say this requires any extra attention, it should just be good practice on a whole to try and limit/reduce exposure to direct forms of blood/fluid transfers when dealing with any animal.

      We probably shouldn't hunt or eat primates at all though really. But any animal is a potential risk for infections. HIV might be the scariest, but there are others that are just as deadly.

    3. Re:Has the virus been observed in any animal ? by OeLeWaPpErKe · · Score: 1

      Actually plants can be just as dangerous as anyone who's ever had a wound infected can tell you.

      So what ? We just retreat of the planet entirely ?

      Of course, if evolution theory is correct, the answer is simply adaptating our genes to the situation. Unfortunately that also means that there are perhaps 5 persons currently alive that will have any living offspring in ... 200 (?) years.

  27. Re:A legacy of colonialism by muckracer · · Score: 1

    > one day they will mutate into a super aids that is airborne

    Will give swine flu a whole new meaning...

  28. Re:Always Africans. by Attila+Dimedici · · Score: 1

    Actually, I believe the first successful reality TV shows were European shows that were imitated by American TV(Survivor).

    --
    The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted. James Madison
  29. Monkey love... by nscott89 · · Score: 0

    I, for one, welcome our new primate dominatrices.

  30. Re:Always Africans. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Wasn't the first Big Brother show Dutch?

  31. Re:A legacy of colonialism by TerranFury · · Score: 1

    Parent post expresses a very, very unusual point of view. It's almost saying, "colonization, done right, is a good thing; the problem was that Europeans did it wrong." It's very Rudyard-Kipling, "white man's burden"-esque.

  32. no hiv was ever transmitted from sex with a monkey by circletimessquare · · Score: 2, Interesting

    do you have any idea how strong a chimpanzee or a gorilla is? we're not talking about a placid herbivore here, we're talking 100+ pounds of pure muscle, sinew and razor sharp canines. this is not an environment in which any bestiality can possibly occur. i think sex with a shark would be easier, seriously

    the whole aids-was-from-sex-with-a-monkey line of thought is pure high school sophomore stupidity. way more 4chan than actual plausible science

    bushmeat is what it is: a messy stew of tropical disease waiting to happen, tons of transmission avenues, from open sores on the skin and in the mouth, to the sheer bloodiness of butchery. no one ever said SARS was from sex with a civet cat, or swine flu was from sex with a pig. i really don't think in the entire history of humanity anyone has ever had sex with a living chimpanzee or gorilla just because of the physical impossibility of it all

    oh great, now i just launched necrophilic bestiality meme for aids origin

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
  33. Necrobestialsodomogopoly to be exact! by Xaedalus · · Score: 1

    And no, I can't claim credit for the name. That belongs to a friend of mine named Dov who resides in Las Vegas, and is a very large Jewish man. The poem it goes with is brilliant.

    --
    Here's to hot beer, cold women, and Glaswegian kisses for all.
  34. HIV Virus? by orkybash · · Score: 1

    The V already stands for virus, ranking 'HIV Virus' up there with 'PIN Number' and 'ATM Machine'. I would hope that a tech site like Slashdot, used to dealing with acronyms, would do better.

  35. i'm disappointed by circletimessquare · · Score: 1

    Necrobestialsodomopedogopoly

    there fixed for your friend

    you can't push hot button sex topics without pushing the pedophilia button, come on!

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
  36. Or it was in a burqa by Moraelin · · Score: 5, Funny

    Somewhere, someone was either very desperate, brave, stupid or all of the above to be getting busy with a gorilla.

    That or it was from a country where the most you'll see of your bride before you've bought it, or of anyone else's wife at all, is akin to a gant cloth dildo with a small netted slit at eye level. So, you know, you could pay four camels to Abdul for his daughter, and maybe she'll be as ugly as the last one when you take the burqa off, or you could get a gorilla for free and you know what you're getting ;)

    And if you keep it clothed, nobody would probably even notice. I mean, I can just see it:

    Achmed: "Say, Hassan, did your wives just go 'ook, ook'?"
    Hassan: "Erm, they're foreign. Haven't learned the language yet."
    Achmed: "And by Allah, look at that one. She's broader shouldered than the two of us together."
    Hassan: "Yeah, I bought me big wife so she can bear me lots of children. Ha ha."
    Achmed: "If you say so..."

    Come to think of it, it would make a good marketing slogan: Burqas, helping ugly chicks get laid wherever alcohol is forbidden ;)

    --
    A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
    1. Re:Or it was in a burqa by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Why is this modded "+4, Funny" instead of "-1, Untactfully Racist" ?

    2. Re:Or it was in a burqa by Moraelin · · Score: 2, Informative

      Why is this modded "+4, Funny" instead of "-1, Untactfully Racist" ?

      Really? Racist? Wasn't that supposed to be about race instead of about a <insert holy book>-thumping fundamentalist sect?

      There is nothing racial about the burqa. There isn't even anything muslim about them. They're the product of one single reactionary sect pining for the good ol' 7'th century days.

      And frankly, I see no reason to be tactful about a group which routinely violates human rights and treats their women like slaves.

      Briefly: sorry, I never bought into the moral relativism idea. I'll be sensitive about their culture when it stops being an excuse for evil.

      --
      A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
    3. Re:Or it was in a burqa by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What's the difference?

    4. Re:Or it was in a burqa by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And this is funny because...? Oh, right, because you've transplanted the current strain of American paranoia into a completely different part of the world to make a lame dig using current context. Bah. Go start a war or something.

    5. Re:Or it was in a burqa by interkin3tic · · Score: 1

      Why is this modded "+4, Funny" instead of "-1, Untactfully Racist" ?

      Because it's not -racist-, I'm not sure that "untactfully" is really a word or used correctly if it is, "untactfully racist" isn't an available moderation, the mods today aren't overly PC and humorless, but bottom line it's modded funny because IT IS FUNNY.

    6. Re:Or it was in a burqa by K.+S.+Kyosuke · · Score: 1

      It is silly, true, but peple of all races (whatever "race" means today) can have names like Achmed or Hassan. Converts sometimes accept new names, you know. So if you consider it racist, you have a naming prejudice yourself. :-)

      --
      Ezekiel 23:20
    7. Re:Or it was in a burqa by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That wasn't racist. This is racist:

      It's an easy mistake to make. There's not that much difference between a gorilla and a nigger.

    8. Re:Or it was in a burqa by sonicmerlin · · Score: 0

      'Treats their women likes slaves'. Ah yes, arrogant Western dismissal of alternative cultures, buying into the blatant misrepresentation by feminists of the psychological state of the majority of women in said countries. Brilliant, and certainly not racist.

    9. Re:Or it was in a burqa by Moraelin · · Score: 1

      Dude, again, it's a religious sect, not a race.

      --
      A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
    10. Re:Or it was in a burqa by sonicmerlin · · Score: 0

      It's not just radical Islamists who feel this way about women. Even in modernized (*cough* Westernized *cough*) Asian societies the way they view and treat women is significantly different than in the West. For example, in Japan there is a concept called "giko", where a husband depends on his wife as he would a mother (emotionally), and it is her responsibility to take care of him as she would a son. Shirking of this responsibility is severely looked down upon, as society recognizes how much this traumatizes the emotional state of the man, as it would a child. It's...complicated and not easy to explain in a few sentences. But suffice to say many foreign women who visit places like America find the women to be naive and irresponsible.

  37. SIV may be killing chimps after all by peter303 · · Score: 1

    Simian Immune Deficiency Virus was thought to be inert in chimps. It was speculated they evolved past it long ago. But now its been discovered it slowly kills chimps much like AIDS does to humans. SIV may be a predecessor of the human virus.

  38. Cow Pox and Small Pox by PeterJFraser · · Score: 1

    If this strain does not cause problems with humans (which is unproven so far) can it be used as a basis for a vaccine.

    1. Re:Cow Pox and Small Pox by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That depends. Most viruses (HIV included IIRC) have mechanisms that prevent superinfection. Basically, once a cell is infected, the virus puts up a sign that prevents other viruses from infecting the same cell*. The mechanisms aren't fool-proof of course, but they're pretty effective.
       
      So, assuming that 1: HIV strains recognize this new strain's "go away" sign, and 2: this strain is not as pathogenic/virulent as the other HIV strains; then yes, this would be a good place to start looking for a competitive strain.

      *more accurately, they downregulate the proteins which allow the virus entry in the first place - so it's more like taking away the "Welcome" mat than putting up a "Go away" sign.

  39. Re:no hiv was ever transmitted from sex with a mon by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 2, Insightful

    While I agree that transmission was almost certainly not sexual, and very much agree that gorillas(as with most of the larger non-human primates) are not to be trifled with, I'm not sure your conclusion follows.

    A dolphin could drown the best human swimmer with only modest effort; but swimming and interacting with them is pretty safe because they are (mostly) friendly social animals. Pissing them off would be a bad plan; but getting along with them isn't too hard. In a similar vein, trying to rape a gorilla would be a bad idea, it'd almost certainly maul and/or kill you. However, gorillas are fairly intelligent, moderately human-like, and have well developed social signaling mechanisms. Nothing prevents, in principle, someone from securing the gorilla's cooperation.

  40. Re:no hiv was ever transmitted from sex with a mon by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I don't know about humans raping gorillas, but I've seen an account from a gorilla researcher of a gorilla raping a human (the gorilla was killed later, but had to be allowed to do its thing at the time as they lacked any way to stop it without risking that it would just rip its victim's head off or something).

  41. Not A Joke! by Important+Remark · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Read about it here

    1. Re:Not A Joke! by Important+Remark · · Score: 0, Offtopic
  42. More Info At by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    http://www.thePandemic.com sad stuff.

  43. Well well well.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The only comment that comes to mind is

    effing a...

  44. Define r-e-t-r-o virus by scorpivs · · Score: 1

    the fate of all diseases and all parasites is equilibrium with its hosts. it does no good to kill off your host so quickly there's no retransmission. so after an initial sickle swinging period of mass slaughter, the strains of any disease that dominate will be those who tend to be more mild, simply because by killing less faster, they spread wider and therefore survive longer

    so most likely its not the stand or 28 days later we're talking here

    Au, contraire. By definition, HIV, as a retrovirus, says you are wrong about that; lemme guess, you can't get pregnant the first time, either?

    --
    There is nothing to FEAR but NOTHING itself; and I fear there is a whole lot of nothing going on. --scorpivs
  45. I'm picking the last option. by lorenlal · · Score: 1

    CowboyNeal, with a dozen roses and a little champagne.

  46. Re:One Brave DUDE...? by macraig · · Score: 1

    What makes you so sure it was a dude?

  47. Re:A legacy of colonialism by Esteanil · · Score: 1

    "A group of prostitutes thought to be immune to HIV have now become infected, causing dismay to scientists hoping to develop an Aids vaccine.
    It was thought that exposure to HIV on a regular basis created immunity, but six Kenyan women previously thought to be resistant are now HIV-positive. "

    From BBC News

    --
    I'm a dreamer, the world is my playpen. But hey, I'm a serious person, I can't dream all the time.
  48. Total FUD. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Well, at least in this segment of the population.

    If you're reading this, you have nothing to worry about.

    Smile.

  49. So, you're trying to regulate "funny"? by Moraelin · · Score: 1

    And this is funny because...? Oh, right, because you've transplanted the current strain of American paranoia into a completely different part of the world to make a lame dig using current context. Bah. Go start a war or something.

    I see. So you're the appointed joke police and platinum standard of what every human on the planet should find funny, right? I mean, it can't possibly be that someone else has different tastes in jokes that you do, right? ;)

    --
    A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
  50. Any one else by ThatsNotPudding · · Score: 1

    instantly reminded of a certain Ricky Gervais bit?

  51. Gorillas by BlackCreek · · Score: 1

    Obligatory (stupid) comic strip reference http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1592

  52. Bush meat by ptudor · · Score: 1

    Wow, don't use science or anything, that surprises me. Infected bush meat to rotting gums or fresh knife wounds received while butchering is the most plausible method of zoonosis. The latter moreso than the former as saliva is a great disinfectant.

  53. Thank god we're all nerds! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    No sex == No AIDS!!!

  54. Gay Paris by Baldrson · · Score: 1

    The French, once again, demonstrates their leadership in the politics of inclusion by admitting this woman whose body represents a veritable cornucopia of diverse ecological foment.

  55. Meh, Pussy by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I'm still looking forward to an airborne variation of rabies so I can test out my zombie survival kit.

  56. Drastic measures by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I think it's high time we soaked that entire continent in napalm. KILL AIDS WITH FIRE!

  57. Think of the Monkeys! by sgt+scrub · · Score: 1

    Why do people have to constantly fsck with the money?

    --
    Having to work for a living is the root of all evil.
    1. Re:Think of the Monkeys! by sgt+scrub · · Score: 1

      doh! monkey.

      --
      Having to work for a living is the root of all evil.
  58. Re:no hiv was ever transmitted from sex with a mon by ejasons · · Score: 1

    Nothing prevents, in principle, someone from securing the gorilla's cooperation.

    Rule 34? http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rule%2034

  59. Smitty is infected by AP31R0N · · Score: 1

    He has RAS Syndrome!

    --
    Utilizing the synergization of benchmark e-solutions to pre-workaround action items!
  60. Re:no hiv was ever transmitted from sex with a mon by The_mad_linguist · · Score: 1

    Are you kidding? Dolphins are massive jerks.

    They only put up with humans because they realize we could convert them to canned tuna in two months, flat.

  61. word? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Nah dawg... I'm just gonna chill with mah monkey.

  62. Re:Always Africans. by peas_n_carrots · · Score: 1

    .. or more accurately, Chinese ducks

  63. I am sooo horny... by hesaigo999ca · · Score: 1

    I am soooo horny, I guess I could do it with a gorilla.....is this the type of thought a woman in africa has,
    man....I got to go over there....have me some horny babes......then again....maybe not....
    I might have a hard time finding some condoms!!!