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Burglar Logs Into Facebook On Victim's Computer

yet-another-lobbyist writes to mention that Facebook addiction has finally caused real world consequences, at least for one would-be burglar. It seems that 19-year-old Jonathan Parker couldn't stay away from the popular social networking site, even long enough to rob a house. Parker not only stopped mid-robbery to check his Facebook status on the victim's computer, but left it logged in to his account when he left.

28 of 337 comments (clear)

  1. "You have been poked by the Police" by CdBee · · Score: 5, Funny

    Seriously - what a muffin.... Wonder how his addiction will do, in jail...

    --
    I have been a user for about 10 years. This ends Feb 2014. The site's been ruined. I'm off. Dice, FU
    1. Re:"You have been poked by the Police" by JSBiff · · Score: 4, Funny

      So, will his status for the next 3-5 years be updated to:

      JOHN PARKER is serving a sentence in the State Penn.

    2. Re:"You have been poked by the Police" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well, thankfully you broke the curse. None of us are laughing at what you wrote.

  2. Frame job? by JSBiff · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Part of me has to wonder if someone else might have logged into the facebook account and left it for the victim to find, to implicate this other fellow?

    Granted, there's probably more evidence to tie this guy to the burglary, but, I dunno, this seems *too* convenient.

    1. Re:Frame job? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      You've got to remember where this happened - Martinsburg, WV... where they old saw goes:

      How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
      Because anywhere else it would have bene called a teethbrush.

    2. Re:Frame job? by jittles · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Don't underestimate the stupidity of your average criminal. My dad is a lawyer who has defended some really dumb criminals. I remember him telling me one time about a client who got busted for robbing a jewelry store. Apparently on his way to commit the crime he was pulled over for speeding. As luck would have it, he brought the ticket into the store with him and accidentally left it on the counter. Needless to say, it didn't take very long for the police to find him

    3. Re:Frame job? by brian0918 · · Score: 4, Informative

      Granted, there's probably more evidence to tie this guy to the burglary

      Yeah... like the fact that he asked a friend if they'd want to help rob the house.....

      He also said that the night before the burglary, Parker asked him if he wanted to help break into the victim's home but he refused.

    4. Re:Frame job? by hawk · · Score: 4, Funny

      Back when I handled criminals, I had some *real* dumb ones, but my favorite robbed a friend's credit union.

      When the police found him, he leaped up to tell them that the money in one pocket was his; that theirs was on the other. And when they brought the teller out to ID him, *he* IDed *her* instead!

      Yes, criminals really are this dumb.

      hawk, esq

  3. stupidity by sopssa · · Score: 5, Funny

    Always when I think I've seen the most stupidity ever, there comes a next sucker and tops it.

    Next on news, casino robbers twitter about the process using @heist tag while executing their plan.

    1. Re:stupidity by gandhi_2 · · Score: 5, Funny

      are 2.7^15 to 1 against

      Coincidentally, 2 954 312.71 is the phone number of the Islington Flat where a cleaning crew supervisor learned that he had lost a contract.

    2. Re:stupidity by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I'd further that by saying most criminals who are caught (and yes, this is most of them) do not rise to the top of the intelligence pool. Who knows how many ultra-smart uncaught criminals are still out there though...

    3. Re:stupidity by da5idnetlimit.com · · Score: 4, Funny

      In one of our offices, failure to lock your screen means you'll send an email proposing your sexual favours to a bunch of same sex colleagues for a modicum of money.

      Second offender in the same day makes the same offer, but to both sexes, and for a lower amount.

      This taught basic security to all newcomers.

      It is lucky that :
      - Most of us got caught, and pass on the joke
      - we all have a sense of humor
      - we are not in the US 8p

      --
      It takes 40+ muscles to frown, but only four to extend your arm and bitchslap the motherfucker
  4. Did he update his status? by Toe,+The · · Score: 5, Funny

    I can just imagine it...

    Status: Robbing a house at 319 Elm St. ROTFL!

    1. Re:Did he update his status? by camperdave · · Score: 4, Funny

      I don't have an account
      either, but it might be like
      checking Slashdot to see
      if anyone replied to your
      comments.

      ...or if they've fixed the idle
      comment entry field yet.

      --
      When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
    2. Re:Did he update his status? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      I don't have an account

      either, but it might be like

      checking Slashdot to see

      if anyone replied to your

      comments. ...or if they've fixed the idle

      comment entry field yet.

      That was like the worst poem ever.

    3. Re:Did he update his status? by mrdoogee · · Score: 4, Funny

      Burmashave!

    4. Re:Did he update his status? by clone53421 · · Score: 4, Funny

      I don't have an account

      either, but it might be like

      checking Slashdot to see

      if anyone replied to your

      comments. ...or if they've fixed the idle

      comment entry field yet.

      That was like the worst poem ever.

      Burma-Shave.

      --
      Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
    5. Re:Did he update his status? by CdBee · · Score: 4, Funny

      Facebook could REALLY improve their traffic levels if every 24 hours they autochanged statuses to "is sucking a cock" unless the user logged in before the time-out......

      --
      I have been a user for about 10 years. This ends Feb 2014. The site's been ruined. I'm off. Dice, FU
    6. Re:Did he update his status? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Your mom wouldn't have to log in as often.

  5. Facebook Status: by Codex_of_Wisdom · · Score: 4, Funny

    JOHN PARKER is robbing a house :)
    updated 2:57 PM today

  6. Facebook addiction by TrippTDF · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I know what that is like.. I actually made my wife change my password for me, and she logs me in a couple times a week so i can check messages.

    I don't think anyone predicted that the internet would give us infinite narcissism.

  7. Re:This proves the old adage... by TrippTDF · · Score: 5, Insightful

    SOME criminals are stupid... obviously, you never hear about the smart ones.

  8. Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11? by clone53421 · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Stupid criminals leave their Facebook accounts logged in on your computer. Smart ones steal all the passwords that are stored in your browser.

    --
    Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
  9. Further evidence... by idontgno · · Score: 4, Funny

    that criminals aren't criminals because they're too smart to hold down a regular job.

    --
    Welcome to the Panopticon. Used to be a prison, now it's your home.
  10. Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11? by ckaminski · · Score: 4, Funny

    Smart ones take the FUCKING COMPUTER!

  11. What I want to know is ... by Gravitron+5000 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    if was robbing the place, why didn't he take the damn computer?

  12. A newer spin... by mevets · · Score: 5, Funny

    Why is there no CSI Hillsboro? There are no dental records and everybody has the same DNA.....

  13. Predictions by SuperKendall · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I don't think anyone predicted that the internet would give us infinite narcissism.

    For anyone who read Usenet back in the 90's, this was not a prediction - it was a certainty.

    --
    "There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley