Slashdot Mirror
Italian Scientists Put Robot Spiders In Your Colon
Sockatume writes "Scientists in Italy have developed a robot which will move around the lower digestive tract using legs. The 'Spider-Pill' is fitted with a camera and will stow its legs until it reaches the lower intestine. Once there it can crawl around and take pictures under direction from surgeons. Its USP is that it's more appealing than an endoscopy." The BBC also has video.
In other news, Google is working on it's own version to integrate Googlebot to crawl more data into Google Maps. Soon you can zoom into a person you saw on the street and navigate inside her.
In Soviet Russia, robot spiders put your colon in scientists!
sigs... don't talk to me about sigs....
- as in Mr Z Stardust and the spiders from arse
Really, slashdot?
The stories and info posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only fools would take it as fact.
What is a USP? Come on guys I normally am able to get most of these acronyms, but this is too much.
The goatse guy would almost be ontopic.
Why do I get visions of doctors that look like FBI agents inserting this device into me via my belly button?
I Cater to the Needs of Stupid People. - from a coffee mug Christmas gift
Universal Serial Puss?
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for being subtle.
>Scientists in Italy have developed which will move around the lower digestive tract using legs.
Have developed what? Developed which?
I want a list of atrocities done in your name - Recoil
Do they bark?
Italy has leapfrogged ahead of both Germany and Japan in the quest for making the weirdest adult films.....
Some bring out the best in others, some the worst. Some bring out far more.
>more appealing that an endoscopy
Given a choice between a cable that's tethered to the outside world and a robot spider scuttling around inside my butt, I'd say the former was a win.
I want a list of atrocities done in your name - Recoil
In my colon?
The downside is you'd still have to drink the foul Kool-aid that cleans you out. The upside is (I assume) the patient doesn't need to be sedated, and doesn't need to take the rest of the day off to recover from sedation, have a driver, etc.
Robot spiders? In MY colon?
It's more likely than you think.
"...it's more appealing that an endoscopy."
Is it more appealing than a gerbil?
It stands for unique selling proposition. I would like to point out that "more appealing that an endoscopy" is not unique at all.
Will it the entire digestive tract?
She swallowed the robo-spider to swallow the robo-fly, I don't know why, she swallowed the robo-fly, maybe she'll die.
Knowledge is how to play a game, intelligence is how to win, wisdom is knowing what game to play.
Scientists in Italy have developed which will move around the lower digestive tract using legs.
Wow, two news stories in one. First, Scientists in Italy have developed. Who would've thunk it. And apparently they're moving around the lower digestive tract. Using legs noless!
"Don't meddle in the affairs of a patent dragon, for thou art tasty and good with ketchup." ~ohcrapitssteve
This article is worthless without pictu... er, nevermind. *shudder*
Robots walking up and down my ass? Hell no.
Unless you like that kind of thing - with the small rodents.
Shameless plug alert: Game server control panel
I don't care if this thing takes makes a home in my lower guts. Any procedure is superior to the barium enema.
Scientists...will move around the lower digestive tract using legs
That sounds quite painful!
Spiders in your colon? If there's one thing GTA San Andreas taught me, it's what to do when they crawl from Uranus.
You just got troll'd!
Hope the gerbil doesn't attack it.
Trolling is a art,
From the video page: "The 'spider pill', which is fitted with a camera, is swallowed by the patient and once within the colon or intestine the legs are opened."
The spider's legs or the patient's legs?
I'm hoping the former, otherwise there is a whole new door just opened in the practical joke market...
before "exiting the body naturally."
Speaking of which, what is the natural way colon spiders exit the body? Don't they lay their eggs in there and the spiderlings eat their way out through the abdominal wall? I guess leg retraction isn't high on the agenda in that case.
More music, fewer hits
"Italian Scientists Put Robot Spiders In Your Colon"
Oh no they don't.
Stupid, sexy Flanders.
...who silently screamed on reading that headline.
I'm pretty sure I've had that nightmare before.
Ezekiel 23:20
the robot is crawling around with cameras? are they transmitting or does someone have to clean the robot?
Wait! Whats a sig?
There already exists a camera pill you can swallow that remotely sends information to a belt you wear for the day. You don't have to stay in the office, and the doctors don't have to waste their time controlling anything. They just watch the movie later in fast forward with some popcorn.
Is there *any* reason that a doctor would need control over this thing? It can't even get biopsies. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't the only directions forward and back? Why don't they just just improve the camera they already have to last longer and transmit pictures at a higher rate?
Am I the only one imagines this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ypZSJ2_RDY
>A mirror question is, "Why have the Africans accomplished so little?"
Read "Guns Germs and Steel". It's not the answer you're hoping for.
I want a list of atrocities done in your name - Recoil
Finally, something to replace the clown in my nightmares! Sometimes I just love the article titles on /.
"Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted." -Groucho Marx
Scientists in Italy have developed which will move around the lower digestive tract using legs.
Did they accidentally the whole thing, too?
Are YOU using the TOOL, or is the TOOL using YOU? Think about it!
then grows. In a few hours it bursts from your chest, then the fun begins.
Maybe I am a little aprensive, but I would have tagged that with "whatcouldpossiblygowrong".
Why can't
Given a choice between an endoscopy and exploratory surgery with a rusty spoon (or for that matter, with sterile modern instruments), I'll take the endoscopy, thanks. I'm not gay, but I'm not afraid of my anus, either.
...could find one or two alternative uses for it... :-)
welco... Aaaah! Aaaah! GET IT OUT!
As a receiver of Endoscopy, i would gladly accept some spiders down my throat instead.
Oh god.. the horrors of the camera up the butt...
From the headline I really thought it was a feed from The Register.
One of the best headers I've ever seen on /. - made me think I'd gone to the Onion by mistake.
I'm going in for an endoscopy this week. Maybe it'll be my last?
...whether you want to, or not."
If I had points, I'd give you +1, Funny. ;)
How do they fit?
So presumably this would be quite an expensive device, the kind that would have to be used more than once to be cost effective. So patients would be expected to swallow a pill that other patients have pooped out before... Awesome!
In the absence of any further evidence, think of it as an innuendo... :)
deleting the extra space after periods so i can stay relevant, yeah.
who put that bug up the boss's ass
"Oh, what sad times these are when passing ruffians can say 'ni' to helpless old ladies."
So this is some kind of anal probe?
Och aye, the Scottish robo-spider, deep fried in batter.
... are there are really any scientists left working here in Italy?! I thought every smart brain went abroad long time ago, just before this country became the proud banana's republic of Europe thanks to its politicians. This ought to be the news headline IMO.
Yeah, I think you'd still have to fast and purge with whatever unpleasant substance the colorectal surgeon chooses to torture you with. The actual colonoscopy isn't painful or anything since you're sedated, it's just a hassle needing a ride home and a break from mental responsibilities.
But wouldn't you also have to stick around a doctor's office while you wait for the robot to get into position? Or would the robot be controlled really remotely, like by a technician in India while you're walking around the grocery store? And wouldn't you have to restrict your diet while you waited for the robot to pass? And wouldn't you have to collect the robot for return/disposal after you've both done your business?
Do they crawl out of your pee hole like in the movie The Island?
Doctor: ROBOSPIDER YOU SHOULD BE IN THE COLON NOW. WHAT DO YOU SEE?
Robospider: IT'S SO DAMN DARK IN HERE I CAN'T SEE MY CLAW BEFORE MY FACE. HANG ON A SEC. LET ME GET MY LIGHTER.
Doctor: OK. WHAT? LIGHTER? NO DON'T
(SIGNAL LOST.)
Prisencolinensinainciusol. Ol Rait!
What crawled up your ass and died?
I submit that the fear of these probes shall be called be arectumphobia.
The view was horrible and the smell was even worse; Julie severely regretted becoming a proctologist.
Italian Scientists Put Robot Spiders In Your Colon
When did they do this. how did they do this, and how does Slashdot know???
I presume these scientists put these spiders in while I was sleeping. Or are they responsible for the Alfa Romeo Spider in my garage? This might just be a big "Three's Company" misunderstanding!
If your only tool is a hammer, every problem becomes a nail.
Some newscaster in Mpls. did this in the early nineties, sans headcam.
Are these things cheap enough to throw away? Cause I really don't want to swallow something that just came out of...well, you get the idea.
Here you go. A strange choice for spider robots in the colon to be sure.
Now they just need some robotic flies for people to swallow to send the Spider after...
In Soviet Russia, robot spiders put Italian scientists in your colon!
...Up the water spout,
Down came the rain and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain,
Wave did the spider to the surprised proctologist,
And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again.
Universal Serial Puss?
Is that some kind of robot cat?
"This place used to be a big dump"
**When you're swimming in the creek, **and an eel bites your cheek, **that's a moray!
photoshopped picture the goatse guy with robot spiders crawling out of his arse
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
That tickles!
Utilizing the synergization of benchmark e-solutions to pre-workaround action items!
(cue Jim Stafford - I don't like spiders and snakes...)
Invenio via vel creo
It sounds like a team trying to make a name for itself - especially when "virtual colonoscopy" is making such progress.
If this spider method is for more intricate pre-surgical "scouting" - - then maybe it has a place. But if it's only at the stage of a general colonoscopy - then I think it's a case of: "yes we can ... but should we have?"
L'esperienza de questa dolce vita (The experience of this sweet life) - Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy
Hands down, that is the scariest headline I've ever seen here.
"I can't swallow that!"
"Good news! It's a suppository!"
Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
Doctor: ROBOSPIDER TWO YOU SHOULD BE IN THE COLON NOW. WHAT DO YOU SEE?
Robospider: IT IS PITCH BLACK. I AM LIKELY TO BE EATEN BY A GRUE.
(SIGNAL LOST.)
Can't it easily get stuck with those legs? They look big enough that the colon may get problems moving the spider out. What if a leg pierces the colon? I'm vaguely remembering some report about a similar device where they had to open up the pig to get it out again.
Dr Mario: Do you have the red crab-like probe ready?
Dr Luigi: Now inserting into the patient's pipes.
Dr Mario: I always knew we'd make good coin at this job, but who knew the tips would squeeze out like this?
Dr Luigi: Those turtles were a surprise too.
From the video
" when the inspection is done, the robot exits the body naturally"
In other words..
Hey look everybody! I JUST SHIT A ROBOT!!!
As the old song goes "I don't like spiders and snakes..." but I do what it takes to not die of colon cancer...
These comments are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of my employer or colleagues...
Seriously, do you expect me to click that "video" link of spiders crawling in someone's colon. Even the goatse.cx link was more clever than that!
For the record, you send a robotic bird after the robotic spider.
Now I'm going to have that freaking song in my head for the rest of the day.
Unique or not it sure is a damn sight more appealing than an endoscopy... :)
My God, once enough of these get into the sewers of NYC, they can duke it out with the alligators for supremacy.
Are we sure they didn't accidentally attribute the start of an unpublished Stephen King story to the Italians by accident?
Usually it is somebody from government putting stuff in Italian's ass, for once that it is a scientist with a robot, Thanks God!
Jesus chrrriiissttttt
Suddenly robot spiders that crawl around spying on your outsides doesn't seem quite so dystopian, now does it?
The enemies of Democracy are
Endoscopy is when the scope goes down your throat. Colonoscopy is when it goes into the colon, where the spiders from Mars are going.
/. accuracy nazis abound.
I wouldn't normally bring this up but
and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around!
There exists no way of exchanging information without making judgments. --Bene Gesserit Axiom
Yo dawg, I heard you like spiders, so we put some spiders in your colon so you can shriek while you poop!
If you haven't already, watch the video. It's actually pretty cool.
No rectum images, although they do illustrate a bad-ass looking device currently used for rectum investigations. Hint: it's like a big fat snake with lights in the end, and boy, can it wiggle.
Spider Pill, does whatever a Spider Pill does...
Remember, with great power comes great responsibility.
Actually the Japanese IQ, and actually all Orientals` IQ, is higher than Europeans` and white people`s IQ. I hope that makes you feel better about yourself.
Italian gynecologists invent robotic centipedes ?
That and the barren rock is rather lush and beautiful.
Ah just got beamed up by ITALIANS!
There was an old woman who swallowed a fly,
I don't know why she swallowed a fly,
Perhaps she'll die.
There was an old woman who swallowed a spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.
There was an old woman who swallowed a bird,
How absurd! to swallow a bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.
There was an old woman who swallowed a cat,
Imagine that! to swallow a cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.
There was an old woman who swallowed a dog,
What a hog! to swallow a dog,
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.
There was an old woman who swallowed a goat,
Just opened her throat! to swallow a goat,
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog,
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.
There was an old woman who swallowed a cow,
I don't know how she swallowed a cow!
She swallowed the cow to catch the goat,
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog,
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.
There was an old woman who swallowed a horse,
She's dead--of course!
(author unknown)
Free Martian Whores!
Won't be long before Fantastic Voyage (1966) becomes a reality!