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Scientists Turn Wood Into Bone

Bob the Super Hamster writes "The BBC is reporting that scientists in Italy have developed a method to convert rattan wood into a bone-like substance. The bone replacement is currently being tested in sheep, where, when inserted into the area of a fracture, it joins with the existing bone and eventually fuses. Unlike other bone replacements, this one actually has load-bearing ability and also naturally fuses with the existing bone. Additionally, since it is porous like real bone, nerves and blood vessels can pass through it."

118 comments

  1. Yeah but by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Now you gotta watch for termites

  2. Ninja pirates. by Xoltri · · Score: 5, Funny

    Now we will have pirates with non obvious wooden legs. I will call them Ninja Pirates. I wonder how this will affect global warming.

    --
    -Xoltri
    1. Re:Ninja pirates. by d34dluk3 · · Score: 1

      Now we will have pirates with non obvious wooden legs. I will call them Ninja Pirates.

      I'm worried that the universe will explode when the first such abomination is created.

    2. Re:Ninja pirates. by cntThnkofAname · · Score: 1

      the only thing they could do make an opposing force, is to find a way to let nerves and blood cells pass through a porous metal... we'll call it adamantium. And we can then infuse and re build limbs out of this nearly indestructible metal... The only enemy of these sure humans: Airports.

    3. Re:Ninja pirates. by blai · · Score: 1

      No effect on global warming if you send them up the cloud.

      --
      In soviet Russia, God creates you!
    4. Re:Ninja pirates. by Mitchell314 · · Score: 1

      "Security Man, my old nemesis, we meet again!."

      --
      I read TFA and all I got was this lousy cookie
  3. Dupezilla strike again. by sadness203 · · Score: 5, Informative
    1. Re:Dupezilla strike again. by royallthefourth · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Some stories kick so much ass that I don't mind reading them twice.

    2. Re:Dupezilla strike again. by geekoid · · Score: 1

      So> it's not god damn print. Space is effectively infinite.
      I missed the first one, so this is news to me.

      --
      The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    3. Re:Dupezilla strike again. by IshmaelDS · · Score: 1

      not to mention they link different articles

      --
      letting an idiot know they are an idiot is not a game... it's a responsibility. - by Kristopeit, M. D. (1892582)
    4. Re:Dupezilla strike again. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Some stories kick so much ass that I don't mind reading them twice.

      Obligatory Simpsons.
      "Yesbut we've got to do it from different angles! Again and again, and again and again and again!"

      This story is so in your face it travelled back in time and made me pee my pants.

    5. Re:Dupezilla strike again. by phantomfive · · Score: 4, Funny

      Oh, what are you complaining about?

      When an artificial hip, or other load-bearing bone implant, has a higher modulus than bone (and they invariably do), they cause the load to be transmitted unevenly to the bone. The artificial hip is on a pin that goes down into the marrow on the top of the femur. In natural loading, each segment of bone (taken from top to bottom) is loaded equally in compression. With an artificial hip implanted, some of the force is transmitted directly to a deeper part of the femur. The top of the bone is loaded less heavily than it would have been under natural circumstances.

      There. I've just become automatically plus five insightful, thanks to this guy. Free karma, THAT is how you do it.

      --
      Qxe4
    6. Re:Dupezilla strike again. by Hurricane78 · · Score: 1

      It’s always impressive, how finely tuned, balanced and efficient nature is...

      --
      Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
    7. Re:Dupezilla strike again. by cgenman · · Score: 1

      For the record, being moderated Funny doesn't help your Karma.

    8. Re:Dupezilla strike again. by shabtai87 · · Score: 1

      People, please let's stop clogging the tubes with redundant stories! What if I need to sent an internet later?

      --
      @humanity: *facepalm*
    9. Re:Dupezilla strike again. by fm6 · · Score: 1

      No free karma for you: funny upmods don't count. Next time, be less entertaining!

    10. Re:Dupezilla strike again. by badkarmadayaccount · · Score: 1
      --
      I know tobacco is bad for you, so I smoke weed with crack.
  4. Pirate Technology has come a long way by decipher_saint · · Score: 4, Funny

    Pirate Technology has come a long way since the peg leg.

    --
    crazy dynamite monkey
  5. Wood vs Bone by mooingyak · · Score: 4, Funny

    I always thought that wood and bone pretty much referred to the same thing.

    --
    William of Ockham had no beard. The most likely explanation is that it was chewed off by squirrels every morning.
    1. Re:Wood vs Bone by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You're thinking of wood and "boner", not "bone".

    2. Re:Wood vs Bone by betterunixthanunix · · Score: 4, Funny

      "Boned" != "Wooded"

      --
      Palm trees and 8
    3. Re:Wood vs Bone by mooingyak · · Score: 3, Funny

      "Boned" != "Wooded"

      True enough, but in order for someone to be boned, the bone goes where it's wooded.

      --
      William of Ockham had no beard. The most likely explanation is that it was chewed off by squirrels every morning.
    4. Re:Wood vs Bone by xonar · · Score: 1

      Pure genious

    5. Re:Wood vs Bone by bobdotorg · · Score: 1

      I always thought that wood and bone pretty much referred to the same thing.

      There's one crucial difference: I'm not wooding your mom right now.

      --
      __ Someday, but not this morning, I'll finally learn to use the preview button.
    6. Re:Wood vs Bone by fahrbot-bot · · Score: 1

      I always thought that wood and bone pretty much referred to the same thing.

      "Wood" is a noun, while "bone" is a verb.

      --
      It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
    7. Re:Wood vs Bone by ZigiSamblak · · Score: 1

      Wooded does not equal boned would be more accurate.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baculum

    8. Re:Wood vs Bone by dolphinuser · · Score: 1

      That would explain Tiger Woods.

      --
      The drops of water don't know themselves to be a river; and yet the river flows.
    9. Re:Wood vs Bone by Dishevel · · Score: 2, Insightful

      No. The bone goes where it is Bushy not wooded.

      --
      Why is it so hard to only have politicians for a few years, then have them go away?
    10. Re:Wood vs Bone by betterunixthanunix · · Score: 1
      --
      Palm trees and 8
    11. Re:Wood vs Bone by mooingyak · · Score: 2, Funny

      The difference between bushy and wooded is the depth of the foliage.

      --
      William of Ockham had no beard. The most likely explanation is that it was chewed off by squirrels every morning.
    12. Re:Wood vs Bone by haruchai · · Score: 1

      Says who? Boner = Woody ( = means equals, you programming language nazis)

      --
      Pain is merely failure leaving the body
    13. Re:Wood vs Bone by derGoldstein · · Score: 1

      There's one crucial difference: I'm not wooding your mom right now.

      Look up the time and day of the week. Then look at what you're doing right now. You're not wooding *anyone* anytime soon.

      --
      Entomologically speaking, the spider is not a bug, it's a feature.
    14. Re:Wood vs Bone by derGoldstein · · Score: 1

      Says_who ? Boner = Woody : Boner = 0; // ( = means equals, you programming language nazis)

      There, that's better.

      --
      Entomologically speaking, the spider is not a bug, it's a feature.
    15. Re:Wood vs Bone by derGoldstein · · Score: 1

      Damn it man, place an "NSFW" before that!!

      --
      Entomologically speaking, the spider is not a bug, it's a feature.
    16. Re:Wood vs Bone by derGoldstein · · Score: 1

      No. The bone goes where it is Bushy not wooded.

      That depends. Grooming habits vary.

      --
      Entomologically speaking, the spider is not a bug, it's a feature.
    17. Re:Wood vs Bone by haruchai · · Score: 1

      I stand corrected

      --
      Pain is merely failure leaving the body
    18. Re:Wood vs Bone by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Tiger is that you?

  6. Does this mean... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    that we can now start growing meat on trees? Technically speaking.

    1. Re:Does this mean... by Hawke666 · · Score: 1

      Nah, bone is not meat and rattan is not a tree. Though I guess it does grow on trees so there’s that.

  7. Pfeh by Godji · · Score: 2, Informative

    I do that every time I get an erection.

    1. Re:Pfeh by betterunixthanunix · · Score: 1

      Now if only they would find a way to un-erect parts of the skeleton; that would be Fantastic.

      --
      Palm trees and 8
    2. Re:Pfeh by ArsonSmith · · Score: 5, Funny

      are you doing trials in sheep?

      --
      Paying taxes to buy civilization is like paying a hooker to buy love.
    3. Re:Pfeh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's not what she said...

    4. Re:Pfeh by betterunixthanunix · · Score: 1

      Yeah well, why didn't this guy need any of those:

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Fantastic

      --
      Palm trees and 8
    5. Re:Pfeh by BJ_Covert_Action · · Score: 1

      .....Informative mod.....you actually managed to talk about your penis on the internet and have it modded informative. Wow. This kind of thing is going to be what makes up stories for our grandchildren when we get older.

    6. Re:Pfeh by Kell+Bengal · · Score: 1

      I too have wood for sheep.

      --
      Scientists point out problems, engineers fix them
      altslashdot.org: The future of slashdot.
    7. Re:Pfeh by Chris+Burke · · Score: 1

      You don't turn wood into bone... Cus it's not wood unless it's also bone. What you do is turn a limp noodle into bone and/or wood, which isn't the same.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    8. Re:Pfeh by Sanat · · Score: 1

      would you or wood ewe

      --
      And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make
    9. Re:Pfeh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You made me laugh like a retard. Thanks!

    10. Re:Pfeh by apoc.famine · · Score: 1

      You play Settler's of Catan too, eh?

      --
      Velociraptor = Distiraptor / Timeraptor
    11. Re:Pfeh by treeves · · Score: 1

      -1, TMI.

      --
      ...the future crusty old bastards are already drinking the Kool-Aid.
  8. Pamela Anderson by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Pamela Anderson turns my wood into bone all the time... what's the big deal?

  9. Walk on the Ocean by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    step on the stoooones...

  10. This is just wrong! by dwiget001 · · Score: 1

    Giving sheep "a bone".

    This is supposed to be Italy, not Montana. Geesh!

    1. Re:This is just wrong! by betterunixthanunix · · Score: 1

      Well, you know...Italy does have an ancient heritage of strange sexual practices, some of which included animals...

      --
      Palm trees and 8
    2. Re:This is just wrong! by dwiget001 · · Score: 1

      Hmm, you are correct.

      I forgot the whole "Romulus and Remus" thing.

      Oh, and Caligula -- never mind.

  11. Finally... by MojoRilla · · Score: 1

    Finally, they have discovered a decent use for rattan. Just promise to stop using it on chairs.

  12. "You said 'wood'." by ClioCJS · · Score: 3, Funny
    Huh uhuhuhuhuhu huu huh huh huh huh huh huh huhuhuh huh.... You said "wood".

    Yeah.. Heh heh M heh he.... And then you said "bone". Hehehehehehemehh.

    --
    -Clio
    Karma: Bad (mostly from not giving a fuck)
    Blog: http://clintjcl.wordpress.com
    1. Re:"You said 'wood'." by nebaz · · Score: 1

      Settle down Beavis. Take your meds or something.

      --
      Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold behind the clouds.There upon the rainbow is the answer to a neverending story
  13. Soon it will be . . . by reboot246 · · Score: 1

    Sticks and stones ARE my bones!

    Well, actually, a couple of my joints are titanium.

  14. I, Meatbag by SoundGuyNoise · · Score: 1

    Good news! Professor Farnsworth did it first in "Anthology of Interest II"

    --
    You never expect irony, do you?
    Want to be a professional wrestler? Visit www.iyfwrestling.com
    @iyfwrestling
  15. Replacements already exist by BlueBoxSW.com · · Score: 1

    Replacements already exist that have "load-bearing ability and also naturally fuses with the existing bone"

    Although the use of wood instead of demineralized bone sounds new.

  16. Bio-Scaffording.... by jameskojiro · · Score: 1

    So this is just a "Cellulose based bio compatible organic bone replacement material" Bin freeking whoop dee do.....

    I for one welcome our partially wood legged overlords....

    --
    Tsukasa: All I really want, is to be left alone...
  17. Interesting... by Asgerix · · Score: 1

    Well that's very interesting, because I am in fact made entirely of wood.

    --
    Life is wet, then you dry.
  18. lame by smellsofbikes · · Score: 1

    No bulletproofing. Less specific modulus than titanium. Lame.

    --
    Nostalgia's not what it used to be.
    1. Re:lame by pclminion · · Score: 1

      Once you put a huge chunk of conductor, like titanium, into your body, you can never set foot anywhere near a MRI machine. That might be a bummer years down the road.

    2. Re:lame by Hypoon · · Score: 1

      Now, I'm not entirely up on my E&M, but this ought to be somewhat informative to some people reading it. There are only three metallic elements (not including Rare Earth Metals) that can be magnetized: Iron, Nickel, and Cobalt. Titanium is not one of them, thus it won't be sucked toward a simple magnet. Note: Steel has Iron in it, that's why it is attracted to magnets and can be magnetized, etc...

      Therefore, the reason why everyone uses titanium implants may be because they CAN in fact be near (or in) MRI machine.

      On the other hand, there may be other things at play here. This is why my iffy E&M knowledge comes into play. I'm pretty much positive that the following is true, but I'm not sure that the effects are significant enough to matter. A changing magnetic field creates a current in conductors, which in turn creates its own magnetic field (opposite to the original one). These two magnetic fields would lead to a force. So... you may have current and a force acting on your titanium implant IF MRI machines use constantly changing magnetic fields. These effects are only present as the field changes, and go away if the field becomes constant.

      I believe the MRI machine's magnetic field is constantly changing, but I don't believe that the current generated is enough to be even slightly harmful. The strength of a magnetic field decreases as an inverse-square relation to the distance away, so at 40 centimeters away the field is one sixteenth as strong as at 10 centimeters away from the magnet(s). I also don't believe that the resulting magnetic field would be strong enough to cause a noticeable force, for the same reasons. I would not be afraid to use an MRI with titanium implants.

      If I remember correctly, they let me wear my brass belt-buckle in the MRI and it was fine. Brass is Copper and Zinc, neither of which are magnetic. There are some more fine details about ferromagnetics and paramagnetics, but for simplicity I'm leaving them out. I'm a Physics major, but I'm only starting my first college E&M course on the 19th (the above knowledge was from three years of physics in high-school). I would love to see what a diamagnetic material would do in an MRI.

    3. Re:lame by haruchai · · Score: 1

      So what happens if you have a conductor MOVING through a static magnetic field? Will that induce an electric current?

      --
      Pain is merely failure leaving the body
    4. Re:lame by pclminion · · Score: 1

      You hit the key point yourself. An MRI has a huge, static magnetic field. But it also bombards the target with radio frequency radiation. Normally, the RF would simply cause the nuclei (and atoms they are a part of) to vibrate, but because of the large static field, their spin is contrained and instead the nuclei PRECESS, like a gyroscope tipped off axis will precess around the point of support without falling -- and as they do so, they give off radiation which can be detected. It is not the static magnetic field which causes problems, it's the RF scanning radiation. To put it simply, it will cause anything made of metal to heat up. That may not be a problem with your belt buckle, but for a large piece of metal which is embedded inside your body, heating is a PROBLEM.

    5. Re:lame by smellsofbikes · · Score: 1
      As a welder and metalsmith with a background in bike racing that left me with several metal-containing surgical repairs, I'm already completely hosed with respect to MRI's, so bring on the titanium bone replacements, say I!

      A friend of mine used to do IT support for a company that made NMR's. They were *very* early adopters of LCD screens because CRT's were so hideously distorted even rooms away from the machines. They had security guards whose sole job it was to pat people down if they were going to be entering the part of the facility where the machines were running: a person could cause a million dollars of damage just by having a steel keyring forgotten in a pocket. He said it was a pretty cool job, from that standpoint, but not half as cool as when he was doing IT support at the place doing explosive welding fabrication.

      --
      Nostalgia's not what it used to be.
    6. Re:lame by Hypoon · · Score: 1

      If the conductor follows a path that keeps the strength of the magnetic field constant, there will be no induced electric current. Without knowing much about MRI machines (specifically the shape of their field), I can't say whether it's likely or not to move along such a path. If the conductor moves such that the strength of the magnetic field at the conductor barely changes, there would be barely any current induced.

      One case where no current would be produced would be if a conductor is moved parallel to a current-carrying wire. The wire generates a static magnetic field which does not change along the length of the wire, so the conductor does not experience any change in the magnetic field as it moves.

    7. Re:lame by Hypoon · · Score: 1

      Very interesting, I don't know anything about that yet. What does such an effect depend upon? It obviously depends on the material and its metallic properties. Does it depend on the quantity of the material? Why does it apply only to metals? Would it apply to metals that do not conduct well, like Tungsten? Is your post theory, or is the effect known to be significant enough to be serious? Do you have any theories about why we are not using plastics instead of titanium then?

      Sorry for all the questions, I'm curious.

    8. Re:lame by demonlapin · · Score: 1

      Note: I am a physician who majored in chemistry, but not a radiologist. Some of what is to follow is based on NMR, not specifically on MRI. I have, where possible, backed up my instincts with the Wikipedia article. I have made every effort not to say something incorrect, but I am human.

      An MRI has its magnets arranged to produce a solenoid effect - a constant magnetic field of extraordinary strength. This flows in one direction through the bore of the magnet, producing a linear magnetic field. In this magnetic field, the protons of hydrogen nuclei will assume a Boltzmann distribution between low and high energy states (with and against the magnetic field, respectively). Now, they will not necessarily be perfectly aligned with the field, and those that are not will thus precess around the axis of the field. An RF pulse is tuned to the hydrogen nucleus is then fired. This energy input causes some of the nuclei to flip their spin. When the RF pulse stops and the antenna is turned on, it receives the RF emissions of the nuclei as they decay back to the base state. Information about the density of those nuclei - and thus about the tissue - can be determined by lots of complicated mathematics.

      Now, diamagnetic materials are not a problem for the magnetic field, and they aren't usually a problem for the RF stimulation, except that they tend to produce degradation of the signal around them. (RF can induce an antenna current in implants, producing a small local magnetic field that drops out the signal from that area.)

    9. Re:lame by demonlapin · · Score: 1

      MRIs are, magnetically, giant solenoids.

    10. Re:lame by pclminion · · Score: 1

      I looked a few things up and was surprised to find that smaller, non-ferromagnetic metal objects can be safely scanned. The thing that is disputed is whether the presence of metal interferes too much with the received image. Metal will absorb some RF but reflect a great deal more, and the RF energy bouncing around could potentially ruin the image, or bounce back into the resonant cavity and even destroy it.

      I don't think anybody would ever put somebody with a LARGE metal implant, like a femur, into an MRI though.

    11. Re:lame by pclminion · · Score: 1

      If the conductor follows a path that keeps the strength of the magnetic field constant, there will be no induced electric current.

      Actually, there will be. Any charge moving in a magnetic field, whether that field is constant or not, will experience a force perpendicular to the velocity and the magnetic field. I understand where you might get this idea, because on the surface it makes sense -- if the field is constant, how could an electron "know" that it is moving vs. stationary, since the field doesn't change as it moves. I asked this question myself as an undergrad. The resolution of the problem actually requires special relativity to explain it, but it has to do with the fact that the electric and magnetic fields aren't really separate, but are both manifestations of the electromagnetic field which is a single force. The splitting of the electromagnetic field into electric and magnetic components depends on the velocity of a particle with respect to the field. In some reference frames, the field might be entirely magnetic, but in other frames it will have an electric component.

      If you know the math, you can analyze these problems by thinking of the unified electromagnetic field, and predict the motion of the electron by the apparent electric field as it moves. To the electron, everything "looks like" an electric field.

  19. Re:Ninja pirates or rattan sword sheep by WillAffleckUW · · Score: 1

    Now we will have pirates with non obvious wooden legs. I will call them Ninja Pirates. I wonder how this will affect global warming.

    This will help global warming.

    Because the pirates will be able to carry around sheep limbs and use them instead of swords, resulting in fewer rest stops between pirating for mutton breaks.

    However, it will result in a lot more three-legged sheep due to pirate depredations.

    --
    -- Tigger warning: This post may contain tiggers! --
  20. Intentional pun? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    End of the article: "Bones from wood could soon be opening up a new branch of medical science."

    bahahaha

  21. Prior Art by simonsays22 · · Score: 2, Informative

    Toad the Wet Sproket has already done that. They even walked on the ocean and turned flesh into water, too.

    1. Re:Prior Art by BenSchuarmer · · Score: 1

      but they don't even have pictures (just memories to hold).

  22. Well... by hattable · · Score: 1

    Seems like they needed more bones for the offering.

    --
    OMG facts!
  23. New meaning to "he's got wooden legs" by itsybitsy · · Score: 1

    Avoid termites at all costs.

    That's quite a load you're carrying my young sapling.

    Drown him... if he floats he's a witch... burn him... if he burns he's a witch...

  24. Wood vs Bone by kylben · · Score: 1

    Since when is Semantics a Slashdot category?

    --
    Insightful and funny are really the same thing, except one has a punch line.
  25. Flesh becomes water... by weston · · Score: 2, Funny

    Everybody sing along now...

    1. Re:Flesh becomes water... by grolschie · · Score: 1

      You guys beat me to it.

  26. I hear a voice... by asmodeus_dhoine · · Score: 1

    Good news, everyone! I've discovered reverse fossilization!

  27. But by paragon1 · · Score: 1

    Turning bone into wood is fairly redundant, yes?

  28. A joyous cry from wooden boys everywhere by TrickFred · · Score: 1

    Finally, Pinocchio can become a real boy!

    (Brought to you by Blue Fairy Medical Inc.)

  29. finally! by pak9rabid · · Score: 1

    Well, this outta be good news for Pinocchio.

  30. Yep, by norppalaho · · Score: 1

    I'm sure this was invented only to see these comment's on /. Great Success.

    --
    One of the coolest sites, ever: zombo.com
  31. You're right by Errol+backfiring · · Score: 1

    I don't see your nose getting longer...

    --
    Nae king! Nae laird! Nae yurrupiean pressedent! We willna be fooled again!
    1. Re:You're right by Plunky · · Score: 1

      It only does that when he tells lies...

  32. sheep trauma? by farble1670 · · Score: 1

    The bone replacement is currently being tested in sheep, where, when inserted into the area of a fracture,

    how are all these sheep getting fractures?

    1. Re:sheep trauma? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The American Humane Association was too focussed on Avatar instead. Anybody else realize that at the end of the credits there was the "no animals were harmed..." disclaimer (which has to be issued by the AHA)? I didn't see any real animals in that film, and lots of the computer-generated ones were harmed. Ideas?

  33. Sheep with broken bones. by bigmonachus · · Score: 1

    I am wondering if they fracture the bones of the sheep or if they just happen to look very hard for injured sheep..

  34. Oops! I misread this title. by aqk · · Score: 0

    I thought this article was about turning a woodie into a boner.
    ..Which I always thought was pretty much the same thing, hence my inquisitiveness.

  35. Gives "Woody" a whole new meaning by Trip6 · · Score: 1

    Is that a replacement bone in your leg, or are you just happy to see me?

    --
    I hate being bipolar; it's awesome!
  36. X-Men by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Now I can't help but imagine a character like Wolverine who had wood fiber injected into him instead of adamantium. He'd have the obvious advantage that he'd be immune to Magneto...but he'd have to keep his distance from Pyro. ;)

  37. Obscene... by mi · · Score: 2, Funny

    Scientists change a woody into a boner. Khmm...

    --
    In Soviet Washington the swamp drains you.
  38. Wood. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    That is so steampunk!

  39. uhhh huh huh huh huh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Butthead: He said "Wood!"

    Beavis: Yeah yeah yeah... then he said "Bone!"

  40. Shopping by Boawk · · Score: 1

    convert rattan wood into a bone-like substance

    (Grabs man-purse). Pier-1, HERE I COME!

  41. reality.. by Silpher · · Score: 1

    Man Wolverine got a complete shiny adiamantium skeleton replacement, here they put wood in your bones. Man reality sucks...

  42. Ya gotta wonder.... by wb5bbw · · Score: 1

    if you'll start creaking as you sit down.

    1. Re:Ya gotta wonder.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You try to be funny....

  43. Obligatory PBF reference by Alex+Belits · · Score: 1
    --
    Contrary to the popular belief, there indeed is no God.
  44. Oblig. Holy Grail by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
    Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
    Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
    Peasant 1: Burn them.
    Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
    Peasant 1: More witches.
    Peasant 2: Wood.
    Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
    Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
    Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
    Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
    Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
    Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
    Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
    Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
    Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
    Peasant 1: Bread.
    Peasant 2: Apples.
    Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
    Peasant 1: Cider.
    Peasant 2: Gravy.
    Peasant 3: Cherries.
    Peasant 1: Mud.
    Peasant 2: Churches.
    Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
    King Arthur: A Duck.
    Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
    Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
    Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
    Peasant 2: ...A witch!

  45. Wood becomes bone by hoggoth · · Score: 1

    I think John Mayer said it best

    Walk on the ocean
    Step on the stones
    Flesh becomes water
    Wood becomes bone

    Hello? Anyone?

    --
    - For the complete works of Shakespeare: cat /dev/random (may take some time)
    1. Re:Wood becomes bone by hoggoth · · Score: 1

      You were just going to post about Toad The Wet Sprocket, weren't you?

      --
      - For the complete works of Shakespeare: cat /dev/random (may take some time)
  46. Woody by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Gives a whole new meaning to: "I've got a woody!"

  47. Great! by Angst+Badger · · Score: 1

    Does this mean I can use my medical insurance to buy furniture at Pier 1 now?

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    Proud member of the Weirdo-American community.
  48. Why limit the applications? by Rich_Roast · · Score: 1

    It occurs that there might be more applications for a lightweight, load bearing bone-like substance that is manufacturable and that can be shaped. Aeronautics, construction...?

  49. Ask Treebeard, by delirious.net · · Score: 1

    The Elves started it...

    --
    Don't speak about time until you have spoken to him.