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NASA Concedes Defeat In Effort To Free Spirit Rover
An anonymous reader writes "NASA has conceded defeat in its battle to free the Spirit rover from its Martian sand trap. The vehicle became stuck in soft soil back in May last year and all the efforts to extricate it have failed. NASA says that Spirit, which landed on the Red Planet over six years ago, will 'no longer be a fully mobile robot,' and has instead designated the once-roving scientific explorer a stationary science platform."
A stationary science platform on Mars? Sounds awesome! Way to go NASA, you've had hits and misses, but this one was fantastic.
Free as in beer or free as in speech ?
IANWYTIA (I Am Not Who You Think I Am)
This was doomed from the start. Everyone knows a driver is a poor choice for getting out of a sandtrap.
For my paralyzed homies, the little rovers that could. *snif*
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
Spirit is dead, long live Opportunity!
What a great turn of phrase: I'm not fat and lazy, I'm just a stationary science platform.
Stationary Platform InteRplanITary
It's all his fault.
Thats not good Spirit. *awaits laughter*
Geoffrey, Kanye called, and he's gonna let you finish, but the Voyager flights were the most AWESOME science mission EVER!
After billions of taxpayer dollars spent, what do we have with NASA? Nothing but a crappy robot stuck in the sand. Typical government incompetence. The *billions* spend on this mars rover fiasco could easily have been better spent by the private sector, who would have run this project with great speed, cost effectiveness and no doubt better results in every way. When will we ever learn that the private sector is better at space exploration (and everything else, really) than the bloated inefficient union-run government?
I hear they'll be sending another one as soon as they come up with a good backronym for TOWTRUCK.
it's done a stellar job.
So that's what went wrong... a design spec flaw. It should have been assigned to a planetary job.
Must have been a woman driver.
Yes but science is so much cooler when your doing it while going off a ramp catching some big air.
People say my broken friend is useless.
But I say his mind is free.
There's lots of things my mangled robot friend could be.
Well he could make a good hat rack,
He only has to stand there.
Or a cheap doorstop,
He doesn't need to move.
Or a great big giant thermos with a twist off top,
That would be good for soup.
He could be a storage closet for outdated pants.
My broken friend could do it all,
Just give him a chance!
That robot has a tragic secret
That I'd like to share.
My broken friend is closer to me than an ass to a chair.
That robot's name I never told you
You could not foresee.
I sing it loud and sing it proud,
His name is you and me!
Don't melt me down into a crowbar,
Just 'cause I can't move my arms and legs.
Or toss me into a trash can,
Just 'cause I can't cook you ham and eggs.
Don't crush me into an anchor,
Just 'cause I can't jump and dance and sing
I'm telling you, my broken friend...
Put your hands in the air like you just don't care!
I'm telling you my broken friend
Can do most anything!
Yeah!
Sewage Treatment Facilities - "Our duty is clear."
Having lost its mobility, NASA engineers will finally be able to execute the 'suicide' command, and have the rover destroy itself. Little do they know, however, that Bob (the old and crusty software engineer) slipped in a rather generic sector loop virus which will accidentally give the rover Artificial Intelligence upon execution of the 'suicide' command. Needless to say, Spirit will be waiting patiently for the first humans to set foot on Mars in the coming decades, so it can enact its cold, calculated, and bloody revenge.
From Rover to Spot?
The solution is simple. Dig a hole in front of the Rover, attach the end of the winch cable to the spare tire and bury the tire in the hole. Then you can winch the Rover out.
I am convinced that the Rover mission was planned and executed by 4-wheelers. The Rover left the house and told the wife that it was going out for a short drive and would be finished in about 3 months.
Five years later, and it was still puttering around.
The Rover's wife is not amused.
Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
good backronym for TOWTRUCK.
Terrain Observer Waiting To Rescue Unmovable ... darn it, so close.
Is this like those people who have an old car sitting on concrete blocks in their front yard?
What are the aliens going to think of us when we have these vehicles abandoned all over the place. Won't it cause property values to drop, having these rusting carcases leaking noxious fluids all over the yard?
Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
WRECKER
Wayward
Robot
Extractor for
Caught
Kickass
Encumbered
Rovers
One of our competitors trademarked the term "hypothesis". From now on, we will call them "boneheaded ideas".
the woosh.
I went to eat some animal crackers and the box said, "Do not eat if seal is broken." I opened the box and sure enough..
It's stuck at the Martian version of "lover's point". The place the rover is stuck in is where the Martian teenagers park their '67 Chevys and go necking (with their three necks, of course). All that rocking has made the soil in that spot very loose.
Eventually someone will come along and decide the rover is in their spot and push it out of the way. At that point, NASA will be ready to go again.
Computerized Knowledge-worker. Done and done.
The Moon is a terrible place to waste money on.
You wouldn't think that if you recognized the value of ending Wisconsin's stranglehold on the cheese industry ;)
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
They should send a Roomba to Mars. Vacuum up all that pesky red sand.
... their spirit is broken?
I hadn't known there were so many idiots in the world until I started using the Internet -Stanislaw Lem